Kaiji Remedies vs. Middle-Earth Memories (No Sides Chosen Here)…

Well,if you were chasing after me with an axe or something, I’d lean more towards Pacific Rim than The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, but that’s only because that first Hobbit didn’t knock me off my toes (although it was entertaining). I’m a longer-term kaiju fanatic anyway, so Del Toro’s mechs and monsters epic gets the automatic not. Reviews I’m skipping ENTIRELY on this one, but I’ve seen a few tweets and other overly social media posts spilling a few positive beans about the final version. Good for you, ya lucky bums and your free passes, grrrr! Then again, I have two passes to see Turbo on Saturday (and no one to drag to the theater at 10am), so I guess that means I’m moving up in the world (or at least sideways… slowly)

Personally, I really, REALLY liked it better when people only gabbed about this sort of stuff to friends in person or on an old rotary phone. This always connected string-less tin can crap is the pain of the ages sometimes…

Can The Conjuring Scare Up (and Out) an Audience? Let’s See Now…

I’d say it’ll be one of those big weekend gross horror flicks that tapers off to a whisper around week four or five for a few reasons. ONE: The Amityville Horror/Paranormal Activity/Exorcist-style format is VERY played out unless you’re one of those suckers who continually gets scared by these sorts of “horror” flicks. TWO: “Based on a True Story”? Yeah, right. All that means is a room full of writers over a period of time condensed a newspaper clipping or TV news item to even barer bones before padding it out with assorted jump scares and maybe some minor gore effects, creepy music and noises on the soundtrack to get a specific rating. THREE: Speaking of that rating… That “R” rating better mean I’m under the couch and chewing the carpet up, not snoozing through some hokey faux parapsychologists and another easily debunked “ghost” story. Yeah, I said couch, as I refuse to see any modern horror movie these days with a too-easy to squeal and squeak audience that saw the same damn sort of movie two weeks ago or earlier and acts as if that same “BOO!” shock effect is something they’ve never seen in their short attention spanned lives.

That and the dopes who talk at the screen and/or yell at people for doing so make it far more entertaining to flush that ticket money down the nearest toilet…

Random Film of the Week(end): The Man With Two Brains

The Man With Two Brains Depending on the mood you’re in, The Man With Two Brains will either be the dumbest movie you ever saw or you’ll be laughing so much that you’ll need to rewind some scenes a few times just to take them in and make sure your eyes were functioning properly. Of course, the truth is the film actually slides between both ends of that particular scale and pretty much doesn’t care whether you get every joke it throws at you.

That was pretty much the template for most of Steve Martin’s comedies back in the day before he settled into those more mundane and family friendly big box office reliable flicks that make some of his older fans cringe because they can see he’s just collecting a better paycheck rather than doing the comedy (or music, as the man can play a mean banjo!) he probably wants to.
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Pacific Rim “Under Attack” Featurette: It’s Not Really Trouble if You See it Coming…

Um… “Forewarned is forearmed?” is that how that old saying goes? “Forehead is foresight?” Oh, I’ll get it one of these days. Anyway, everyone needs that big summer movie that’s not too cerebral yet entertaining and not insulting to fans of those old kaiju classics they grew up glued to the TV watching, so here you go. “Forsooth is Forspelt Forwrong?” Hmmm… let me give up now and find something a hell of a lot more productive to do. This too hot weather is making me nuts. Well, that and a few other things, but we’re working on those little issues bit by bit. Small movies, for one – they’re back thanks to WP bouncing back the html coding when I hit “Publish”. Yeah, that needs to get taken care of, grrrr…

UPDATE: Aha. Figured out what wasn’t working. Big Flicks Are BACK (part deux)…

Pacific Rim TV Spot # 6: Daytime Drama With a Twist (and No Strings Attached)…

A-ha, so there ARE daylight battles in Pacific Rim! Excellent. I was almost under the impression that this film was going to take place over the course of a very long and busy night or perhaps the behemoths those human-powered Jaegers face off against were part vampire or something. Well, the effects team isn’t trying to hide any wires holding things up, that’s for sure. Although I’m secretly hoping for a “blooper” reel of Gerry Anderson-inspired shenanigans (wires and all). Hmmm… I wonder how Guillermo Del Toro would feel about making a film based on the old UFO TV show? Oh, wishful thought machine OFF, as I need my few remaining brain cells for tomorrow’s crunch of writing…

Pacific Rim “At the Edge” Trailer: Prophetic, Aren’t We?

“At the Edge”…of your seats, that is. Get it? Get it? A ha ha. I’m on a roll with mustard tonight (and a wee bit too much cheese, I admit). Or I forgot to eat, am quite delirious and about to keel over in this absolutely BLAZING summer heat. Eh, I ate a bit earlier, kids, so stop baking those cookies and pies (for now)… I’m going to sleep now anyway, as I need to crawl out of bed and boogie on downtown to see some cool tech at CE Week. I don’t think there will be Jaegers there, but if there are, I’ll let you know at some point. I hope to hell those machines are very well air-conditioned!

Pacific Rim TV Spot #5: Wind Them Up & Watch Them GO!

And by “Them”, I mean YOU out there watching all these Pacific Rim trailers and such and chomping at the bit for July 12 to wash up sooner than it should. Yeah, Warner Bros. Pictures hears you and sees you and is right behind you all the way (which is a bit awkward when you’re trying to use the restroom, um… a little privacy, here?). Anyway, let’s hope those monsters don’t pop up while you’re all in that movie theater on day one, as they’ll most likely be stomping your way and all you’ll have to battle them are a few tubs of greasy movie popcorn and a bucket-sized soda. Then again, all you need to do is mix them together, toss a couple of those dynamite shaped hot dogs in the mix with a plate of nachos, light a match and there goes trouble… and that multiplex, too. Oops…

LEGO: The Movie Trailer: So, It’s Not A Joke After All? Ho-kay…


 
Yikes and “Hmmmmmm…” Here we go. OK, folks – given the quality of some fan-made Lego movies (go hit the YouTube at your leisure and see for yourself), the very idea of spending a TON of loot for a CG film and all that expensive voice talent just makes me cringe a wee it too much. Yeah, it looks funny and yes indeed, LEGO probably got all the proper clearances for all those characters in one internet video conference call. Still, there’s something… off about this flick that I’ll most likely not see at all in a theater, but catch on the cable rebound circuit and think it’s not too bad at all (but still wonder if some super-fan could have done it for a few hundred bucks over the course of a few weekends)… as usual, we shall see…

So, Um… Whatcha Doin’ This Weekend? Superman’s Free For Some Quality Time…

Well, not “FREE” free (or is it FREE “free”?)… you’ll have to go dutch or whatever and buy a ticket to see him (or play illegal mall mega-plex tippy-toe, you cheap bastard) and sadly, it’s look but don’t touch once you meet up. That said, I think you’re guaranteed some exciting times, a few laughs and maybe some tears before the break-up just over two hours later. Hey, he’s Superman, folks – he has to move faster than you.

Anyway, go see Man of Steel if you haven’t yet – it’s pretty darn good.

Pacific Rim “Jaegers” Featurette: A Triple Shot of Metal Goes Down Surprisingly Smoothly…

Jeah, jeah, I know it’s Jägermeister and NOT “Jaegermeister”, folks (oh boy, do I know the difference… but I don’t do that anymore, so perhaps I’ve thankfully forgotten?)… just roll with it, mmm’kay? Anyway, another nice and loving look at the heavy metal thunder about to roll into theaters soon in Pacific Rim. I must say that WB has a nice lineup of sci-fi/fantasy flicks this year between this, the just opened to positive press Man of Steel and the upcoming sequel The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Of course, I’ll be camped out at home with the video versions as well once all are released, as this seems to be the best way to see any new movie to get the full story and way too much behind the scenes info at one’s leisure and NO crazy people yelling at the screen like they’re on a damned talk or reality show set on a roller coaster. Bleh…