Winter Is Coming… Back (Go Away, Please!)

Posted on April 16, 2014 by geelw

So, it was something like 73 degrees on Sunday, 10 or so degrees cooler on Monday and Tuesday was rainy on and off and in the 50’s. Early this morning it SNOWED a little before turning into sleet and rain before stopping.

Yaaaah.

Okay, I was half asleep when I fumbled for my camera and took these shots pointing down from my window at the maybe quarter-inch of snow/sleet mix on the sill. But still… SNOW, grrr! The current temperature? 32 degrees with a nice breeze making it feel a bit too cooler and it’s only getting up to around 45 or 50 and 35 or below later tonight. In April. Yeah, I hate the cold so it’s come back to remind me to hate it the hell some more. Crap. Anyway, I’m up too early (I got up about two or so hours ago and didn’t sleep much before that), but I have a press event to get to in a few hours, so I’m kind of puttering around doing stuff around the house before I set out and freeze my butt off for a short trip downtown for something that may last only an hour. Whee, but I guess I can’t complain. Drop dead, winter (please?)…

Misty Non-Mountain Brain Hopping (Winter Version)…

Posted on January 7, 2014 by geelw

“What is that?” you ask? Well, that a look outside my window at about 4am or so Monday morning. It was so foggy and misty out that I wanted to snap a picture just for reference. I got this mess instead. So I tried again a few times and pretty much got the same result. Yeah, it’s not art or good photography, but what can I say? I was about to go to sleep and pop up less than two hours later to hit the laundry and get it over with before the cold snap hit. The weather has been getting pretty unusual over the past few years, but I can’t recall so many extremes in such a short time around here.

It was 75 degrees about a week or so ago and in the space of 24 hours here, the drop from the low 50’s to below zero is making news (and news reporters stupid). Granted, this stuff does happen in many places, but usually when it gets cold like this it stays like this for the better part of a week. As it stands, the snap here is just that, as temperatures are zipping up to about 40 in a day or so (it’s a regular heatwave!) and as usual, people are going into winter shopping panic mode, stocking up on things they stocked up on already as a form of exercise and protective paranoia.

Granted, I’d prefer if some of those running around doing the headless chicken stayed the hell home and stopped coughing and sneezing around me and at least some of them would remember to bathe more regularly (seriously, there’s nothing like the scent of the great unwashed as you’re sitting in a public spot trying to write only to be distracted by a punch in the nose from a smelly person in smellier clothing who’s NOT homeless, mind you). But what can you do but hold your breath and perhaps raise and eyebrow in the general direction of someone offending. There’s no thrill quite like telling a total stranger to cover his nose and mouth as you’re covering your own from the germs and odor wafting your way. Yuck.

Holy Christmas, Batman! I Know Where You Live! Maybe.

Posted on October 31, 2013 by geelw

So, yeah… you (yes, YOU) thought he left the country for good after The Dark Knight Rises, huh? Well, apparently Batman is alive and well and… living in the Bronx? OK, then… Woo-hoo! Or I at least HOPE that’s Batman in that apartment simply because I’m seeing Xmas lights in the shape of a bat, that holiday is about two months away and I have my fingers AND toes crossed that the person behind that window is re-purposing last year’s lights into assorted shapes for every holiday. This is the first time I’ve seen these lights around here, so I could be wrong and someone is actually selling Bat-Lights out there. I could just hang around outside that apartment building one day and ask people coming out if they know who lives in that apartment, but that’s kind of stalky and awkward, last time I checked. That and if there IS a Caped Crusader up there, he’d probably think I was some arch-nemesis asking for his apartment number and I’d be the one being stalked… eek.

Wait, Kate The Great Could Skate?

Posted on September 16, 2013 by geelw

I knew Katherine Hepburn was the athletic type and all that, but a SKATEBOARD? Well, there’s some more respect for the Great Kate right there. Hell, I bet she even cut an old tree down and MADE that thing herself, heh. I probably has wooden wheels, as well. Go, Katie Hawk! I bet she just jumped over that van in the background, too. Doing a 720. I’ll never be able to watch another Hepburn performance now and NOT think of her on a skateboard. Pat & Mike will REALLY be interesting to watch again, that’s for sure…

Anyway, no I didn’t whip this out in Photoshop on a whim or after a particularly odd dream. I don’t even know how to use Photoshop, kids. This pic came from Dangerous Minds, and yes they have MORE black and white pics of celebrities on boards to ogle. This one’s my favorite pic, but absolutely go check the others out. A few look super staged (you’ll see), but you’ll still smile and wonder.

Work in Hell Can Be Fun (If You’re Supervisor, That Is)…

Posted on August 17, 2013 by geelw

While it’s incredibly easy to get a job in Hell (they’ve got a 100% employment rate there), you’d probably want to seek out a higher level position as opposed to being trapped in the usual entry level position for eternity. Granted, EVERYONE starts out as entry level there, but it’s the true go-getters that actually make their way up the corporate ladder. All you have to do is ask your supervisor about how he or she got his or her gig and they’ll probably NOT tell you anything at all, whip you some more (or send you to the lava wash… you really don’t want to work there, trust me) or flat out lie about it.

Perseverance pays off handsomely (as does pushing your old supervisor off something high onto something hard and flat, hot and bubbly or really pointy – bonus points for all three at once) and you’ll soon find yourself yelling and punishing with the best of them…

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You KNOW You NEED A Vacation When…

Posted on August 14, 2013 by geelw

Places you’re been to turn into warped versions of themselves even in the photos you’ve taken. Of course, this is what both real Paris and Hell Paris look like after a few drinks (actually, Hell Paris ALWAYS looks like this, and remember… there’s no beer served in Hell at all despite what some of those signs you’ll come across say).

In short, I really need a vacation, but first I need to be able to PAY for a vacation. I’m working on that, or at least trying to make more money in general. If I can’t go somewhere fancy, it’s at least good enough to pretend at somewhere local and appropriate in its selection of diversions.

OK, OK… I could just go back to Hell for a bit, but I think they’re starting to notice I keep popping up for the free hot buffet and leaving right before the mandatory floor show experience. Hey, that key I found on the street happens to fit the exit door AND gets me in the front gate when I wave it at the guard, so I may as well use it while I can, right?

Random Art: While You’re Waiting For Updates… A Few Pics From Hell!

Posted on July 25, 2013 by geelw

OK, I do need to catch upon a TON of stuff I’ve missed out on over the past few weeks, but I may as well drop in another random piece or three from the gallery for fun. These are from a “series” of fake vacation photos from a trip to hell, which looks just like here, but with more heat and different neon signs. I can’t say if it’s any more miserable a place than the “real” world, as both have good and bad points.

For one thing, despite what some tavern signs say (hey, lies are everywhere down there!)… they don’t serve beer in hell, but the food is always hot and cheap. Yes, that includes the ice cream, which is weird… but tasty and somehow holds that familiar shape when it’s scooped and put on a hot off the stack waffle cone. Yum-o(uch)!

Oh, I just KNOW you’re curious now. Don’t worry, though… you’ll find out soon enough. I went and got you a free ticket while I was there. The place is ALWAYS open and yep, they just love visitors. Don’t forget to visit the gift shop on the way back up. Everything is free and they’ll even gift wrap as much as you can carry. Just avoid the Sisyphus Rock replica, as it’s actual size, but to a mortal, only feels as heavy as an average-sized grapefruit in the underworld. However, it turns into a REAL 500-plus pound boulder when it leaves the basement level. if you can roll it home afterwards, it DOES make a great gag gift for a friend or enemy…