Humor: Get Lost (Or, You COULD Be In New Jersey)…

(thanks, sjmobb!) 

Pine BarrensI live in an area that’s not too hard to figure out if you live here and spend time walking around on a semi-regular basis. However, on occasions where people who drive here to visit friends or relatives, they often run into trouble with one particular spot where an oval splits into four different directions and streets that need to be followed to their destinations or else you end up driving in some rather oddball directions only to find yourself maybe back where you started or worse. This evening as I’m walking home, a car pulls up beside me and as the passenger side window rolls down, I know exactly what’s coming. Sure enough, a woman pops her head out the window and asks which way a certain street is because she and her husband had been driving around for a good fifteen minutes looking for the building.

Nice guy that I am, I point them in the correct direction and of course, the missus is all “See, I told you it was THAT way” while the hubby is getting a case of the “Yeah, yeahs”. As they both turn to thank me, the husband asks “I suppose people get lost around here a lot?”, to which I respond “Well, it’s not so bad here – you could be in the Pine Barrens”. I do believe the husband happened to get what I was referencing, because he burst out laughing so loudly that his wife jumped in her seat and did a double take before asking what the heck was so funny. As she closed the window back up (I’m assuming no one “rolls” a window up any longer) I waved goodbye, turned and left them alone and walked away with a smile knowing the mister would have to do some fast talking to stay out of the perceived doghouse he just cracked himself up into. Thankfully, that episode of The Sopranos is a pretty darn funny one and I’m glad someone actually got a joke I’d made without having to explain it. Victory!

Holy Christmas, Batman! I Know Where You Live! Maybe.

Bats Man

So, yeah… you (yes, YOU) thought he left the country for good after The Dark Knight Rises, huh? Well, apparently Batman is alive and well and… living in the Bronx? OK, then… Woo-hoo! Or I at least HOPE that’s Batman in that apartment simply because I’m seeing Xmas lights in the shape of a bat, that holiday is about two months away and I have my fingers AND toes crossed that the person behind that window is re-purposing last year’s lights into assorted shapes for every holiday. This is the first time I’ve seen these lights around here, so I could be wrong and someone is actually selling Bat-Lights out there. I could just hang around outside that apartment building one day and ask people coming out if they know who lives in that apartment, but that’s kind of stalky and awkward, last time I checked. That and if there IS a Caped Crusader up there, he’d probably think I was some arch-nemesis asking for his apartment number and I’d be the one being stalked… eek.

Where’s The Beef? In My Belly With Some Sake…

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Okay, class. The wi-fi was DEAD at the library when I jetted back uptown after the great Sake in the City II event, or else there would be a post up already about my fun time at the event. Bleh. Anyway, I woke up waaay too early this morning, went out to do some laundry, lost some money in the process and had to make an emergency withdrawal (boo!), but the event and the three seminars I took made up for it. I’ll pop a post in about this tomorrow or Wednesday, but right now I’m BEAT from a long day and way too much sake. I’m not drunk at all, mind you – I just have a bit of a headache from sampling so many types and not having any caffeine at all today, so it’s a confused brain wondering where its real buzz is. Yep, I’m drinking a cup of coffee as I type this and yep, my headache is fuzzing away. A quart of water should take care of that sake swimming pool in my stomach, but I actually didn’t drink all that much (although I stopped counting at 16 samples of 16 different varieties). Okay- let me poke through my email, as I haven’t checked it since last night and I know my mailbox is PACKED. Back in a bit…

Carrie “In Theaters Now” Spot: Thanks For Sharing, As I Sure Wouldn’t Know It Was!

Seriously, the last movie theater here is still closed and I’m feeling a bit morose and annoyed about that fact. I’m hoping that asbestos issue is resolved and it gets opened back up soon. The nearest theater is a multiplex a train or bus ride away, but I’ve heard that it’s overpriced and a pain to get to because you need to walk a bit after the public transportation jaunt. That and it’s packed with the most infuriatingly ill-mannered viewers who pay no heed to cell phone turn-off notices, bring bawling toddlers into R-rated movies and commit other low crimes against civil behavior that a normal person would go mad if they went there on a regular basis. From my source who frequent there because he’s hooked on films more than I am (well, he tends to watch more crap movies than I do), he also knows that the staff lets their friends hang out there (once they buy a ticket) and sneak into the other theaters to catch other films unless there’s a supervisor hanging about to keep things in check. Granted, that stuff has been going on since movie tickets have been sold, so it’s no big deal to me. On the other hand, I can see that being annoying to anyone trying to run a legitimate business where profits need to be calculated on a per-seat basis…

Anyway, reviews seem good on this Carrie remake, so that’s at least a good thing to see…

The Ugly American: Getting Back Into Shape (Part the First)…

Dark American

For the past week plus or so, the last movie theater in my area has been shut, but it’s at least not as terrible as I’d initially thought. When I first strolled past on my usual route a block away, I noticed the blank marquee and side panels and immediately thought the place was out of business and gone forever. That would have been COMPLETELY lousy, as it would mean Parkchester going from having five or six movie theaters in the 1970’s when we moved here to having ZERO for a pretty large community of people. Granted, the last few theaters before the American shut down in the late 80’s and 90’s and all have been turned into stupidly useless shops, a church and at least one gym that aren’t needed at all because we have PLENTY of those already in the area. So no one of a certain (younger) age knows that there were plenty of options every night of the week for seeing movies in this area other than The American.

And yes, it’s too bad for them that those older theaters are dead and gone…

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More Carrie? OK, Double Jeopardy With A “Telekinetic” Twist!

One clip, a quick TV spot and that dopey prank pulled here in NYC on some unsuspecting citizens strolling into a coffee shop. Of course, in that latter gag, my brain saw the holes in this one right off the bat. If that’s a neighborhood place that’s been open a while, wouldn’t any regulars NOTICE that new wall there or be miffed that their favorite spot was replaced by a wall. Okay, maybe the place was shut for construction with a sign on the door or whatever. Also, a few of those people look as if they were bought in by the studio to act surprised at the action. Granted, most look genuinely shocked, but in this damn city, SOMEONE would have called the cops even on the first scare.

Yeah, I’d have been that ONE guy standing there at the cashier laughing and looking for wires on that guy and wall while still trying to get my damn coffee with a hearty “Hey crazy lady! take that shoving tables crap down the block to McDonalds!” Hell, I’d have even offered her a nice, tasty plain aspirin (I keep a bottle in my bag at all times). Yeah, I’m VERY hard to market anything to. I just like what I like and try to get you do like it as well…

Carrie opens nationwide (except the theater where I live that’s closed. Stupid theater!) on October 18, 2013.

Back From The Lap of Luxury…

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Nope, I didn’t take the day off Thursday*, ladies and gents. I was at The Luxury Review for a few hours checking out some incredible products and possibly drinking too many adult beverages. My head will let me know in the morning, but I think the good quart of so of water I’ve been drinking since I stumbled in the door about twenty minutes ago will stave off the Beast from Hangover Square. OK, I need to sleep now… and dream of that $10,000 bed I got to fall on for a bit and now want to sell both kidneys to buy. Back tomorrow… no, wait – later today with some reportage from the event. Thanks to Terry “Valkor” Lewis from The Other View for hanging out woth me as my guest. He’s quite a card, that one…

And ha, ha, ha! My current unread email count is in the many hundreds just from not doing any work yesterday. This will be a “fun” Thursday, that’s for certain… I hope my brain can keep up. We’ll see, I guess… we’ll see… Good Night!

*Aheh. I was definitely feeling the after effects of that free booze bath, kids. Wednesday? Now I’m losing track of what day I attend events! Wooo…

Breaking Bad Ends It Classy… At Least Here In The Big City.

BB_WW_6If you’re lucky enough to live in and around New York City and have been to the Museum of the Moving Image any time since July 26th, you’re probably more than aware that there’s been a very cool exhibit based around AMC’s Breaking Bad that’s running until October 27th, 2013.

Those in the know about this also know about tomorrow’s really special viewing party for the show’s final episode that’s going to draw in BB fans and toy collectors thanks to the fine folks and AMC teaming up with Mezco Toyz. Tomorrow’s events include a raffle of some of Mezco’s popular Walter White action figures with the already sold-out screening.

Details below the jump. If you’re interested you can most likely pop into the museum to see the exhibits but not the screening unless you’ve got a ticket from somewhere or someone. Fat chance on that happening at this late date, but a bag of blue can get you anything I hear…

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RoboCop Poster: Black Is The New Black (Plus a “Related” Dog Story)…

RoboCop_poster

Sometimes You Get It, Sometimes You Don’t Department: About a month back I’m walking to the subway from a press event and there’s this guy walking a cute bulldog (well, cute for a bulldog) who stops at a traffic light while a big truck is trying to turn the corner. As I stroll up next to them and wait the minute or so it’ll take the truck to make the turn, a gal in a nice summer dress pops out of a store, walks up to the guy and starts chatting about his dog, asking if she could pet it. He says “Sure!” and while she’s doing so, she looks up and asks “What’s your dog’s name?” The guy looks down and says “Murphy” and yes, I let out a huge laugh. The guy looks over at me as I’m recovering and I ask “Robocop?, to which HE starts cracking up. “Yeah, yeah…” Of course, as we’re having our chuckle, the gal is looking at us and not quite getting it. Right at that moment, the truck finished negotiating the turn and I noted to the guy that he might want to let the lady in on the reference before she thinks something crazy is going on. Of course, I had that Basil Poledouris theme playing in my head as I strolled off…

Oh yeah… nice poster, huh? I’m betting we’ll see a few more before this one’s ready for its close up.

A Friendly Reminder From AMC (Plus A Chance To Chase or Be Chased)…

TWD_S4

Just a friendly reminder that The Walking Dead kicks off Season 4 on October 12, 2013. If you’d like to give yourself a mild heart attack before that day and you’re in the NYC area, feel free to check out The Walking Dead Escape, the LIVE event where you can be a Survivor or Walker as you either try to make it through a tricky obstacle course or try to stop people from doing so.

As awesome as that latter event sounds… I won’t be attending, as I value my life too much to be trampled to death by some screaming fans. However, YOU can register and step up to the plate and have the time of your life. Have fun if you do go and if you’re a Walker, don’t even think of wearing that makeup job you get on the subway or anywhere else in the city. We’re crazy enough here without having to get freaked out by some grinning tourist dressed as a zombie. And you don’t want to run into a crazed homeless guy who thinks it’s the “REAL” zombie apocalypse and decides to do you in with that shopping cart he’s pushing around (ouch!)…