Random Film of the Week(end): Repo Man

Posted on January 26, 2014 by geelw

“Never broke into a car, never hot-wired a car. Never broke into a truck. ‘I shall not cause harm to any vehicle nor the personal contents thereof, nor through inaction let the personal contents thereof come to harm’ It’s what I call the Repo Code, kid!”

Even when I saw it back in 1984, I never considered Alex Cox’ outstanding first film Repo Man a purely “punk” movie. Sure, it’s got one of the best (if not the best) soundtracks of any film of that year (some say “ever”, but they’d be dead wrong) and yes, it’s got characters who play “punks” as well as enough of a vibe that makes you think it’s a dopier film than it actually is.

Then, as you’re being entertained by what’s onscreen, one of a few unexpected things happen as the film pops into different genres. As Emilio Estevez’ bored punk Otto Maddox goes from getting fired from his crappy minimum wage job stocking supermarket shelves with generic food to making bigger bucks as a repo man and characters toss out priceless lines like “The more you drive, the less intelligent you are…” or “I don’t want no commies in my car. No Christians either.”, the next thing you know you’re hooked in for the duration… Continue reading →

The Raid 2 Trailer: Well, Ain’t That A Kick In The Head (And A Few Other Places)?

Posted on January 21, 2014 by geelw

Oh, the pain, the paaaain. The Raid: Redemption was one of the wilder action movies of the past decade thanks to some well shot brutal, lightning paced edge of the seat action and a twisty plot that kept audiences guessing. I won’t go over the story here at all as this is one of those movies that needs to be seen with a few friends just so you can all pick up each others’ jaws when they keep popping off and falling on the floor. The upcoming sequel (written and directed by Gareth Evans) looks to up the ante with even more creative uses of violence and wait, is that the crazy fighter MAD DOG making a return? WHAAAAAT? Hey, he was dead in the first film! Hmmmm. Unless it’s his twin ass-kicking brother or he somehow survived that fluorescent tube to the neck (OUCH!) and some other grievous injuries, there’s gonna be some ‘splanin’ to do. Oh, I think it won’t make mucg sense in the grand scheme of things, but now I have to find out what the heck he’s doing here other than making people flip out because he’s still alive…

This should be innnnnnnteresting, people, stay tuned.

EDIT: a bunch of you kind folks have chimed in to let me know that that guy who LOOKS just like Mad Dog is not Mad Dog at all, but an entirely different character named Prakoso… who just so happens to be played by the same actor. Well, that changes things up quite a lot. Let’s hope it’s not revealed that it’s really Mad Dog’s evil clone, second of a set of sextuplets or anything else too goofy that sucks the fun out of all that carnage.

Random Film of the Week: Private Lessons

Posted on January 20, 2014 by geelw

Hollywood just did not know what to do with Sylvia Kristel. By the time the Dutch actress made it to America a few years after becoming a worldwide star (well, everywhere except here in the US) from her appearance in and as Emmanuelle and two sequels, she ended up working in a few American movies that ranged from passable to flat out wretched. 1981’s Private Lessons is one of those flat out wretched ones, a “sex comedy” that’s not erotic or amusing at all, but pretty unsettling and when seen in light of modern views of its subject matter, just plain wrong.

Of course, I have to confess that I saw this way back when it was released with some like-minded friends and we though it was going to be the thrill of the late summer only to end up crawling out of the theater in need of a shower and a Men In Black style memory wipe. There’s just a layer of head-shaking offensiveness here that only those with low to no morals would find “thrilling” or even remotely “sexy”. Then again, I don’t want to make poke at someone’s particular proclivities ’til they pop. If this dreck does it for your own tastes, more power to you then. On the other hand, given that real people have gone to real jails for doing what happens here in real life, that fine line between movie fantasy and stark reality is stomped on and wiped away long before this trash-fest is over…

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300: Rise of an Empire TV Spot #1/Trailer #3: It’s Like Black Friday… With Swords and Shields!

Posted on January 20, 2014 by geelw

See men run. Run, men run. *Chop! *Stab!* *Splash!*… Ouch. Stupid men! Next time. I’ll stay off the battlefield when coming up with a post (Ouch!) Yeah, this slow-mo comic panel stuff has been done to death since the first film made it a wee bit too commonplace, but Warner Bros. is hoping those folks who dug the first film to death will do the same plus tax with this follow up. Given the fate of that poor Hercules film that just came out and got Julius Caesar-ed by critics and some moviegoers, this one better do a mighty great job of making people forget about all those pretenders to the throne.

If the film succeeds, it’s that header above in terms of people storming theaters to check it out. If it tanks, the screams will only be on screen in theaters playing to half-empty houses (or worse) and somewhere in WB headquarters that the film hasn’t even made its projected targets. As usual (repeat after me, class)… we shall see. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find a medic. And a few missing body parts. Ouch!

Random Film of the Week: HIT MAN

Posted on January 8, 2014 by geelw

While watching 1972’s HIT MAN on TCM last week and in between bouts of nearly falling off the couch laughing a few times at the unintentional comedy gold, it hit me that I’d see this film’s story elsewhere. Granted, you get what you pay for with most “blaxploitation” flicks in the form of a reworking of older (and often, superior) films, but there was something here under all the massive afros, copious nudity and violence that seemed pretty familiar.

That something happened to be Get Carter, the classic 1971 British gangster film from director Mike Hodges that was an early showcase for Michael Caine as well as a pretty darn great and mature killer of a movie. A year later, director George Armitage pretty much piled on the T&A, beefing up the sexy time and violence to racier American levels of shameless acceptability and the cast here does a pretty awesome job at making this one of those absolutely memorable (but yes, gloriously bad on so many levels) “B” flicks that’s going to have your head shaking and spinning simultaneously… Continue reading →

Age of Barbarian II On Indiegogo: Your NSFW “B” Game Guilty Pleasure Gets A Sequel…

Posted on December 12, 2013 by geelw

With strong influences ranging from Robert E. Howard’s Conan stories, the classic fantasy art of Frank Frazetta and other illustrators, PC games such as the Barbarian series, “B” games such as Sword of Sodan and many others, Crian Soft’s violent and nudity packed Age of Barbarian was one of those games that drew some controversy in some circles for its decidedly NSFW (and DEFINITELY not for the kiddies content). Granted, if you appreciated all of what the game was attempting in its gloriously macho over the top recreation of its fantasy world, you were grinning like a Cimmerian while playing through the bloody side-scrolling hack and slash action. Conversely, if you were a cranky prude who only saw a trailer or screenshots, you were probably shaking your fists at a monitor and letting your eyeballs and brain boil in your skull.

No matter how you felt about the game, creator Christian Fanucci is in the process of whipping up an even more polished sequel and yes, it’s crowdfunding time! Given that the goal is a pretty modest $12,000 and the funding campaign runs until February 2, 2014, I’d say Fanucci makes his target provided he’s got people who aren’t afraid to fly their flags proudly and say they loved the first game and want to see a second. Given the planned and promised changes to make it an even bigger sequel (Golden Axe style mounts, a bigger world map and many side quests to tackle), this is one of those games that I hope sees everything happen to get it out there and played by those who want more of Rahaan and Sheyna’s adventures on their computers. Forget about this one coming to consoles, as it would probably be an automatic AO for the near nudity and other scenes alone. That said, fans of Conan, the Sword and the Sorcerer and a ton of other 80’s flicks should get this on their plate and check out some of the higher-end rewards, as they’re pretty cool for those with the cash to spare.

Review: Valhalla Knights 3

Posted on December 9, 2013 by geelw

Platform: PlayStation Vita

Developer: K2

Publisher: Xseed Games/Marvelous AQL

# of Players: 1 – 7

ESRB Rating: M (Mature)

Official Site

Score: B- (75%)

For some people, anything resembling sexual behavior in a video game seems to set them off ranting about things they don’t want to do (play the game in public or show it off to friends and family) or didn’t see at all thanks to overreacting and imposing arbitrary rules of the real world where it never needs to be. All I’ll say is this: if you can watch this music video without curling up into a ball in a corner and whining about it being too racy or sexist or prurient, you’re probably mature enough to play (and even enjoy) Valhalla Knights 3.

K2’s new Vita exclusive may not be the best looking game on Sony’s handheld and what’s here often feels a wee bit unfinished, needing actual interactivity in the environments in the form of destructible objects and structures that could be actually entered in some outdoor maps. While there are some amusing and dramatic moments to be found, the main plot could have also used a bit more spice, as it offers up some interesting ideas that don’t mature past a certain point…
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Dementium II HD: Small Scale Horror Goes Bigger (And Scarier) On Steam…

Posted on November 2, 2013 by geelw

Well, well… I’d heard a PC version of Renegade Kid’s Nintendo DS game was in the works for some time, but I’d forgotten all about it until I saw news of the game on another site. Here’s the trailer for Dementium II HD, set for a Steam launch on December 17. If you haven’t run off to change your underwear yet, you’ll want to know that DII is a very creepy first-person horror game that combines exploration, adventure and combat elements in a single player experience bound to creep you out of whatever chair you’re sitting in and under it for a spell. Nope, it’s not using ANY of the original Nintendo DS assets, silly – that would be scarier than the game seeing that sort of stuff happen.

If you’ve played the original you can clearly see that developer Memetic Games has taken Renegade Kid’s original game and redone it from the ground up, adding some Steam-specific content in the process. It would be lovely to see this creepy gen get MORE press, as the DS game got a tiny print run and seems to be tough to come by these days. Nevertheless, I’m betting once genre fans find out this exists (or will exist in less than two months), they’ll be beating a path to their computers to grab a copy. Actually doing so NOW will net you a nice discount of 35% off the already cheap $14.99 list price. That’s a measly $9.74 if you’re lousy at math (or can’t find that Calculator on your computer). OK, my good deed is done for the evening ladies and germs… good night and have the rest of a super Saturday.

Or ELSE… Mua-ha-ha-ha-haaaa.

Sniper Elite Nazi Zombie Army 2: Your Next “Horror Movie/FPS” Is Here…

Posted on November 1, 2013 by geelw

Sure, Activision and Treyarch did the Zombie Nazi thing first as a Call of Duty bonus, but in my opinion, Rebellion is doing it better thanks to the much more realistically violent Sniper Elite V2 engine and its not for the kiddies gore. The first NZA was a nicely nasty surprise (and pretty damn scary when it needed to be) and the just released Sniper Elite Nazi Zombie Army 2 is bringing the pain (wait, can undead even feel pain? Nope? Oops…) in what’s looking like an even better experience. The developer has even gone and posted two live gameplay videos on YouTube (one yesterday and another today) you can check out if this one seems up your alley. Hey, it’s better (and a LOT more interactive) than digging out those musty old VHS copies of Shock Waves and The Keep, right?

Yes, I know Nazi zombies getting filled full of lead (well, actually… that lead is passing through their bodies from what I’ve seen) isn’t for ALL tastes. But the appeal for me is seeing this dev team do such great work on a few fronts and yes, keep the whole “zombies in games” flame alive just a bit longer. It’s so played out that it’s gotten predictable to a fault, but the best zombie games seem to be the ones that go for the expected gore (although a tip of the head goes to the Plants vs. Zombies folks for making the words “cute” and “undead” work perfectly…

Random Film Of The Week (It’s Baaaaaack!): ZOMBI 2

Posted on June 8, 2012 by geelw

It’s been a while since I did this column (again!), but here you go, thanks to Ubisoft’s upcoming Wii U exclusive (which isn’t based on this flick, btw), I’m inspired to scribble a bit about one more of my old horror faves. Here’s the ZOMBI 2 poster I forgot to run in my Zombi U post earlier this week. Seeing that happy, smoochy undead mug once more made me think of being freaked out then amused by the commercial for the film when it ran here way back around 1980, I think.

I recall that I actually didn’t see the film until about 1983 or ’84 thanks to a friend of a friend who worked at some place that cut together TV ads. Everyone who worked there was pirating every movie that came in the door and making themselves huge movie libraries, and I recall his was pretty damn impressive and packed with stuff I’d never seen before but always wanted to. I think I only borrowed two or three tapes from him, as I was SUPER paranoid about some dark sunglasses-wearing agent types kicking my door in and busting me for whatever I was doing that was illegal (was it even illegal to watch a copied movie you borrowed back then? Who knows?).

Anyway, Back to the movie for a sec: It was (and still is) pretty gory, but also a bit funny in spots. Well, HILARIOUS, as a zombie (well, a guy in undead makeup) actually fights a REAL (and drugged, from what I remember reading later) shark in probably the craziest moment in the movie. The scene I remember most vividly was a woman getting her eyeball poked out with a piece of wood (eww!), but there were a few other shocking bits throughout. The beginning and ending made me laugh, so that’s a trade-off I guess. Celebrity sort of alert: Mia Farrow’s sister, Tisa is in the film – but she’s not the one who loses her eyeball. So, yeah, it’s not a family flick at all this time out, but if you can track it down, it’s a funky, chunky scare-fest worth your popcorn time.

If you’re REALLY in the mood for this sort of stuff, I say pair it with Mario Bava’s gore/splatter classic, Bay of Blood (aka Twitch of the Death Nerve, the inspiration, at least in terms of special effects for the first two Friday the 13th movies about a decade later).