The Expendabelles? Yikes. Shoot Me Now (Or At Least Hope Some Major Changes Are Made)…

Posted on February 6, 2014 by geelw

According to some sources I refuse to acknowledge because it just might happen, it looks as if there’s a female version of The Expendables in the works. Ugh, for a few reasons you’ll see if you read those links. Sure, it’s a fun idea and SURE, it’ll get ladies working in an action flick as something other than screaming eye candy or victims, but that current synopsis is awful, that fake poster tagline is WORSE and I can’t see this being anything that’s going anywhere but straight to Blu-Ray/DVD unless some of these potential cast members have a hand and foot in the rewrite room.

On the other hand, this IS a Hollywood project, so I can expect the casting to be a nightmare if this goes through, the shooting to be pure hell and the final product to be on par with the rest of this series, which is awful but campy fun as long as it’s not taken seriously. I guess the ONLY great thing here is no one is talking weekly TV series yet on either Expendables project. I’d have to head to California with a folding baseball bat in my suitcase if that ever happened…

Sabotage Trailer #1: Deja Vu, But Arnold Wants Me To…

Posted on February 5, 2014 by geelw

I know I ran this trailer for Sabotage sometime last year, but since Arnold posted it on his YouTube page, I have to run it here again or he’ll come here and punch a hole in the front door again. Actually, I wouldn’t mind that at all as he always pays for a new door afterwards. Hmmm… perhaps I can have him punch a hole in the bathroom wall near that pipe that’s now loose thanks to the idiots who installed that fish piss replacement shower head? Nah, Arnold wouldn’t fall for that at all. He’s too busy getting in other trouble to get out here anyway, I’d bet…

300: Rise of An Empire: On War Pigs And Going Whole Hog…

Posted on February 5, 2014 by geelw

I’m still on the “jury’s out” side when it comes to this not quite sequel coming out. So many movies and TV shows have copied the green screen slo-mo technique and color palette of 300 that this film outdoing the first one in terms up upping the chaos is almost too amusing to see working so well. Granted, those who loved 300 will love this as well, but I don’t expect the pickier historians out there to be so kind to this follow up. I’m in the process of going through the first movie again this week (I haven’t seen it in a few years) and I actually thought it was longer than it actually is. I think I digitally inserted scenes from that Spartacus series randomly in my head as I was watching or something. Eh, whatever – we’ll see what this does at the box office soon enough before it makes the short four to six month trip to Blu-Ray/DVD like everything else does…

Okay, I Need The Last Match On Blu-Ray/DVD. You Need It Too.

Posted on February 3, 2014 by geelw

(Thanks, bigdumbgoon!)

Thanks to the one two punch of The League of Dead Films‘ Professor Mortis (or maestro of daily ceremonies T.A. Gerolami) and a hilarious review over at Good Efficient Butchery, I now have a new “must-have” crap movie to track down. Hey, Martin Balsam and Ernest Borgnine are in it so how bad could it be, right? Those clips from The Last Match made my eyes check with my brain to be sure I wasn’t hallucinating and nope, I wasn’t). Granted, this won’t replace an ACTUAL good football movie, but I know what I’d be watching instead of the Super Bowl next year, that’s for sure…

I’ll admit now that it’s a sad passion of mine, these junky, badly made Grade-Z action flicks. But hell – they’re only a tiny part of what I watch, they keep me off the streets and they’re perfectly legal to own (well, provided they’re not bootlegged), so leave me alone or else I’ll bite ya. Besides, overdosing every so often on really bad films isn’t a harmful thing at all… unless you decide to use them as templates for a career (which would NOT be a very good thing). Anyway, the chances of this klunker getting a Criterion release are ZERO, but I bet the fine folks Shout! Factory just might be able to negotiate something and get this on a disc at some point. I’m not into online petitions, but I’ll sign one if someone goes to the trouble of whipping it up to get interest in this stinker.

Bottomless Bucket List #1: Ennio Morricone US Tour 2014

Posted on February 3, 2014 by geelw

When I was much younger, I really didn’t appreciate Ennio Morricone’s work until I started listening to movies as background noise while doing homework. Sure there were the famous spaghetti western themes that were favorite from the first time the were heard, but I didn’t bother putting a name to those tunes and others until I started collecting soundtracks back when I was around 14 or 15. As I broadened my cinematic horizons, I started to see Morricone’s name pop up even more frequently than some of my more favorite composers and when I dug up more information on the man’s output, I was floored at just how many film and TV soundtracks the man wrote, composed and conducted (it’s currently over 500 since 1959)… Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week(end): Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead

Posted on February 2, 2014 by geelw

(Thanks, THINKFilmNY!)
The late, great director Sidney Lumet’s final motion picture, Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead is a brilliantly made film that hits harder today thanks to the death (allegedly by heroin overdose) of actor Philip Seymour Hoffman. While the film got a somewhat limited theatrical release in North America and was completely ignored at the Academy Awards, it’s a mesmerizing, must-see crime drama that shouldn’t be missed. Its non-linear structure and use of flashback scenes presented from different characters’ perspectives adds a layer of tension to an already compelling story and every single actor here more than earns their keep, perfectly playing their roles.

If you’ve never seen this before, I’ll not reveal very much of the story, as the film rolls it out for you from a few angles and watching these characters roll fate’s dice and lose to varying degrees makes the movie. Hoffman and Ethan Hawke play brothers desperate for money for assorted reasons. An armed theft planned by one brother goes wrong in the worst possible manner and the consequences spiral out of the control of just about everyone affected by it. Just when you think things are bad enough, they manage to get worse and those awful ripples reach pretty far before heading back to their source…

Continue reading →

RoboCop Update: “Crime” Doesn’t Pay, But A Good Reboot Will…

Posted on February 1, 2014 by geelw

Under two weeks to go before the RoboCop reboot rolls into theaters and I think it’ll hold its own against the original at least as far as the story goes. Granted, I don’t think that the film is even trying to copy anything directly from the original, so some die-hards will slam it for that. I’ll take it in as a new start and see what happens, as I usually do with these remakes/reboots. Of course, if the film falls into the “too much CG, pointless plot” trap other franchise friendly films frequently fall into, then I break out the knives (which I bought for a dollar, by the way. Seriously, the dollar store nearby sells kitchen knives starting at a dollar) and start chopping away.

Sleuthathon, Anyone? Get A Clue This March…

Posted on February 1, 2014 by geelw

Ah, the joys of the blogathon! Like-minded fast to slow typists of assorted interests and skill sets, some of the more precisely well worded and edited post, some of the punchy, short perfect post and me with my fishing around for words and hoping they all fit together once I drop my five-cent bowl of alphabet soup on the carpet before I can even open my packet of crackers, *sob!*

Anyway, Fritzi over at Movies, Silently is at it again, hosting not just a blogathon, but a Sleuthathon featuring films up to 1965 about assorted gumshoes, nosy folks who find themselves detecting danger and other flicks and TV shows.

If YOU have a favorite film detective who fits the bill and can string together a few sentences better than I can, feel free to check out the link for submission guidelines and perhaps contribute one of your favorite films, group of related films or shows. The more, the merrier!

POMPEII Super Bowl Ad: Yeah, My Day Went Like This As Far As Work Goes…

Posted on January 31, 2014 by geelw

Yeah, this film is going to be a disaster of an epic scale, but yeah, people will go see it because it’s got a hunk in the lead and it’s basically Titanic but no one gets out alive. Um, hopefully. I have the feeling that somehow, someone will make it out alive. Hey, think like a Hollywood writer looking to make the best of any tragedy: history says everyone died there, but what happens if there were people who were just out of range of the doomed city who saw it all go down? Yuck. Anyway, my Friday blew. I got nothing done thanks to some SLOOOW as hell wi-fi. How slow? Even though the connections was “Excellent” (so sayeth my computer via pop-up message as I glare at that stupid little box and want to strangle it), I was stuck at the startling and less than adequate speed of 11.0 kbps, BOO. Anyway, tomorrow is another day, I guess. I need to fly out of here early to mail off a big box of books, so I’ll be trying to get in some updates and posts as soon as possible, as there’s a LOT going on in my inbox.

Random Film of the Week: A Mighty Wind

Posted on January 30, 2014 by geelw

As a comedic take on the folk music scene, reunion concerts, one-hit wonder “where are they now” musicians and a few other choice targets, A Mighty Wind works on every level provided you have at least some small interest in the subject matter. Granted, most of the jokes and songs score because they’re so darn well written and delivered by a great cast, but I’ve seen this film with some people who don’t quite get or appreciate all the subtleties of some of the films funnier moments.

Christopher Guest’s great under-appreciated 2003 “mockumentary” features plenty of comic talent on display showing off their singing skills as well as pulling off some great bits that make this one constantly amusing and even laugh out loud hilarious at times… Continue reading →