The Frog And Pig Split For Ratings. Color Me Not Amused One Bit

Pig and FrogI really shouldn’t care a whit about this, but it’s bugged me that the media has fallen over themselves to make the Kermit-Piggy “divorce” a story as if it’s a real thing. Yuck. Who’s the main sponsor of this show anyway, Ashley Madison? Anyway, why the hell does something as crappy as divorce need to be introduced into a family-friendly set of characters as the Muppets?

Yeah, yeah, Sesame Street has done the reality thing as a means to explain some real world situations such as death and prison to its young audience. But in the case of this upcoming ABC show, it smacks of nonsense that’s only there to add a whiff of modern-day “reality” show nonsense to what should have been more of a throwback to the original variety show. Ugh.

On the other hand, I guess I should have seen it coming as both Kermie and Piggy have had someone else’s hand up their butts for decades.

Speaking of Sesame Street, the HBO deal? Great for subscribers to HBO but terrible for anyone not getting more than basic cable. Between that (so long, low income viewers!) and the shows possibly being chopped to half an hour thanks to modern short attention spans, you have to wonder what was being thought about other than money when all is said and done. Of course, that money thing seems to be partially thanks to online streaming wrecking certain home video revenue streams for good. But I guess thinking of (all) the children doesn’t pay the bills unless you deal with the devil in one way or another. Ah well.

I won’t be watching the new Muppet show anyway (the concept is s total turn-off to me) and I haven’t watched Sesame Street in years. Well, okay… I lied. Out f curiosity I did recently check out the close to 30 parodies they’ve made over the last few seasons and all are hilarious. Although, I do question the idea of making parodies of mature shows that aren’t for kids at all (Boardwalk Empire, Mad Men, Game of Thrones) because the parodies work TOO damn well.

I guess I should be glad there’s no SS parody of The Wire… yet.

It’s A Dog’s Life: All Bark and No Bite (With Wheels, Yet!)…

shopping cartSo, I’m walking home last week from the library and about a block from my place, I hear what sounds like a small commotion and a bark followed by the sound of a supermarket shopping cart rolling towards where I’m about to stroll. I stop and take a step back figuring it’s one of the delivery guys from the nearby grocery store running into some dog trouble and the last thing yours truly needs to do is get plowed over by some guy with a big metal cart who may or may not be outrunning a pissed-off pooch.

As I stood there out of harm’s way (I hoped), the rolling cart sound gets closer and closer until it slows down and I see the cart slowly come into view from my right… with a pit bull sitting in it looking as if it’s smiling. What. The. What? As my brain is filing this bizarre scene under “Now I’ve Seen It All”, the cart comes to a stop about a foot from the big green relay mailbox on the corner. I look at the dog, who looks at me, then behind it. From my right I hear “Come on man, one more, one more!” as two young guys step into view.

Yeah, it was time to get nosy… Continue reading

Bad Poerty: Monday Again? Yeah, and You Can’t Stop It.

(thanks, solutioncow

The grind begins anew dear friends
The whistle blows, it never ends
You roll your rock up that damned hill
It rolls right back, intent to kill

You suffer that eternal fate
For roof and food set on a plate
While those above you’ve never toiled
Their hands pristine and never soiled

(thanks, texeratx texeratx!) 

They pay you what they think you’re worth
It’s not a lot (much to their mirth)
You only see them when they wish
You’re treated like some tiny fish

Caught in the mouth of bigger ones
That torch is passed onto your sons
and daughters who, some now confined
by laws that clip their wings and bind

(thanks,pwskidmarx!) 

Is there a way out? Maybe so
But you’re too occupied to know
So turn that crank and spin that wheel
The pain? You’re not supposed to feel

And when that quitting time bell rings
Your aching body squeaks and sings
And back home then to eat and snore
Then Tuesday’s come – you’re back for more!

-GW