PC Review: MOVE OR DIE

Posted on January 31, 2016 by geelw

MOD_Thumb3 Platform: PC (also on Mac/Linux)

Developer: Those Awesome Guys

Publisher: Those Awesome Guys

# of Players: 1 – 4

MSRP: $ 14.99

ESRB Rating: N/A

Official Site

Score: A- (90%)

Can’t type… playing…

Okay, I had to drag my tired self away from my ongoing battle with MOVE OR DIE just to drag myself back to the computer and bang out a quick review. This game is a total blast and pretty much everything it’s cracked up to be in one package. Simple enough for the kids to pick up, but only the best and most clever and cheap players will survive… that is until they get bested by someone or some random element that’s smarter or faster. The name of the game says it all. If you don’t MOVE, your little avatar will DIE, period. If that wasn’t impetus enough, you’re tasked with a number of randomly rotating mini-games, all of which last a mere twenty seconds each and consist of trying to stay alive longer than the other players whether AI or live.

Between the chainsaws, falling block walls, time bombs and other hazards, this is a game where everyone dies at some point and the key to survival is dying less than anyone else you’re playing against. This simplicity plus the intense speed of each round keeps the game fresh even if the currently limited number of game modes randomly loops back on itself multiple times. The greatest thing about the game is it allows anyone who can hold a controller and keep moving to play and win (and lose).

This one’s a game where the cute factor of those avatars only vaguely mask the title’s dedication to keeping players in a constant state of tension and/or hilarity. You can win a match with a split second remaining and lose the next one in the same manner. That “friendship destroying” element the trailer promises isn’t really a good selling point because the players you’ve beaten are going to not want to quit playing until they get some payback. Continue reading →

Lovely Planet Arcade: The Unknown Known Gets A Fast Followup

Posted on January 16, 2016 by geelw

I’ve heard about, but actually NEVER played Lovely Planet (*gasp!*), so I guess I now need to, thanks to developer QUICKTEQUILA and publisher tinyBuild Games announcing this maybe it’s a sequel? return to the colorful pastel world of the first game. If the zippy and amusing videos of the first game are any indication as to what’s in the second, players can expect a load of challenge and even more good times when the game jumps out of the developer’s talented hands and lands on Steam later this year. Hey, don’t trust me on that last sentence at all – just go read about the game using on of the links above.

I think by the time LPA is released I’ll have played the first game. I hope. My backlog is a mountain of code that needs to be scaled and the clock is always ticking…

HIDEit: Get Your Gear In Order But Good

Posted on December 16, 2015 by geelw

I have to go fishing through my spam folder at least once a month because it sometimes catches email that demands to be read and passed on. Case in point: the one I got from HIDEit Mounts a company that makes a number of really awesome storage solutions for gamers, computer owners or anyone else who has to deal with assorted tech with wires that tend to tangle. I actually laughed out loud as I was reading the email and looking at the photos attached because yes, I suffer from the horrible affliction of owning a ton of consoles (at least 25!) and having all those wires dangling in front of, behind, and to the side of my jury-rigged entertainment center. Yeah, it’s pretty bad, folks. Actually, I only keep six systems around my 32″ HDTV at a time while the rest take naps in assorted storage bins until I need to dig the up for research

As you can see (or can’t see because they’re so well hidden) HIDEit makes simple but highly functional wall mounts for current gaming consoles, small form factor PC’s and Macs, cable boxes and more. They also have controller mounts and even an optional theft deterrent solution in case you want that extra security. If you’ve got sturdy walls and a TV mounted on one or more of them, you’re an easy HIDEit customer in the making.

The great thing is installation won’t take a year of carpentry classes or calling up that creepy-looking “handyman” who slid a misspelled flyer under your door as you were opening it to take out the trash last week. Each mount comes complete with hardware = all you need is a good drill and appropriate bits or a good screwdriver. A level and elbow grease are also beneficial for best results, so some of you scrawny-armed types may need an extra strong arm to shift stuff around. Prices range from $11.99 to $59.99 and I’d bet you a hot nickel that your holiday gift list includes at least ONE person (not including YOU) who needs one or more of these mounts.

Okay, you’re up to speed on the HIDEit front, correct? Good. Me, I could use a bunch of them, but I’m in the process of entirely redoing my game cave so I’m still in the “being in awe because I have a ton of games and systems in such a small space and don’t know where to begin” stage. But now that I see what HIDEit can accomplish, it’s a product on my list of things to get once I get myself in gear to tackle a pretty massive project.

Review: Poncho (PC)

Posted on November 4, 2015 by geelw

Platform: PC/PS4/Mac/Linux
Developer: Delve Interactive
Publisher: Rising Star Games
MSRP: $14.99
# of Players: 1
ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)
Official Site
Score: B+ (85%)

With pixel-packed “retro” games showing no signs of stopping, it’s great to see Delve Interactive shake up the scene with Poncho, a game that’s both new and nostalgic with a side of super challenging for good measure. The open world side-scrolling platformer features multiple layers of parallax scrolling to hop in and out of in order to progress and this is both excellent and a tiny bit frustrating until you get your sea legs. The game’s depth also extends to the minimalist but somewhat deep story of Poncho, a cute little robot who finds himself going where no man has gone before because there aren’t any humans left in the world the game takes place in.

Continue reading →

Shadowgate on iOS: Castle of Doom Goes All Touchy-Feely

Posted on October 26, 2015 by geelw

Oh joy! Or should I say Zo-Joi! Shadowgate is now available on the iPad. $4.99 gets you this revamped classic that was a PC exclusive now on your tap and slide tablet of choice (well,if your tap and slide tablet of choice happens to be an iPad 3 or better). While not a “horror” game per se, exploring the gloomy deathtrap that is Castle Shadowgate can be a bit frightening at times. Hey, when you walk into a room filled with treasure and see that rather pissed off dragon eyeballing you, you’ll either get smart and get lost or get greedy and roasted up but good. Unless you have a certain item that can withstand a blast of fire or two. Yes, that was a free game tip.

The beautiful artwork in this remake alone is worth the five bucks you’ll spend. Fortunately, Zojoi has made the new version of their 1987 classic every bit as devious and challenging as the original with even more to do and some super-challenging difficulty options for you adventure game masters out there. As if this wasn’t a good enough deal, Zojoi has also gone and made iOS versions of its four original MacVenture Series games. For $1.99 each you can play the classic Shadowgate, The Uninvited, Deju Vu and Deja Vu II.

And yes indeed, The Uninvited IS a horror game (and a good one at that):

I shall leave you with the lovely lady in red above (that’s blood, by the way… YOUR blood!)- go get some yourself cheap classics today and have yourself an adventure (or four).

Second Death Hands-On: Survival of the Bit-test

Posted on October 23, 2015 by geelw

It’s 1958, and Chicago cop David Harris made the tough choice to bring his mobster brother back from Cuba and deliver him to justice, but things get tougher when their home-bound plane crashes on a mysterious island. Now he must save his brother — and learn the truth behind his terrible crimes.

That mysterious island isn’t something out of a Jules Verne book at all, but a rather interesting PC, Mac, iOS and Android game called Second Death. Created by Evan Wagstaff (design, coding, script) using Game Maker Studio with a small team helping out with art, music and sounds, this retro style “noir Survival RPG” mixes early 16-bit looks, item crafting, JRPG-like combat, a barter system and two game modes (plus a tutorial) to take for a spin. While the game won’t be officially released until January 2016, the demo that’s currently available at that link above (and seems to be titled or subtitled Absolution) seems to be pretty much what the final version will look and play like. Continue reading →

Guild of Dungeoneering: Deck The Halls, Then Push Up Daisies

Posted on July 14, 2015 by geelw

So, Gambrinous (which may or may not be ancient Gaelic for “we made a really great game you need to play!”) has finished Guild of Dungeoneering and it’s out NOW on Steam, gog.com, and the Humble Store. It’s also on my list of games I need to play before I drop dead, so I think I should hop to it soon. Not to get too grim and all, but one needs to buy as big a bucket as possible if one has quite the large bucket list. My big bucket is full of games like this, of course. Okay, exciting trips, overpriced food and other fun stuff is in bucket number two. Anyway, I need to go clear my calendar and see if I can add a few more days into the month so I can tackle a bit of dungeon-diving. Back in a bit.

Guild of Dungeoneering: Make Your Doom, One Room At A Time

Posted on June 26, 2015 by geelw

Okay. I know I’ve been busy and all stressed out over a bunch of stuff lately but just how did I miss out on Guild of Dungeoneering, indie developer Gambrinous’ upcoming digital-only RPG creation kit/card battle game/pure genius “Shut up and BUY me!” game. Well, it’s not out YET, mind you. But just look at that trailer above and tell me you’re not suffering from shock and “D’aaaw!” at those visuals and yep, that music also gets me grinning way too much. Even in the earlier trailer below the game exudes cuteness and while being simple visually, rocks its looks better than some bigger buck in cost retro games do.

As a former graph paper gamer (of questionable talent) myself, I’m all over this one like a cheap meal because it’s so nicely done, has LOW system requirements (yes!) and looks like an instant genre classic. What looks like endless replay value should keep core RPG fans hooked in while those new to this old school should also have a total blast. Who needs Unreal 4 when you can have unreal FUN with something so damn charming to look at and pleasant to listen to? Anyway, the game is available for pre-order on gog.com, Steam, The Humble Store and a few other places you might be buying your digital games from already.

“Shall we ~~play~~ make a game?”

Sure, why not. July 14, 2015 is when this one drops. So make sure you’re all aboard with the program. You wouldn’t want to get “accidentally” shanked by a pissed off penciled Goblin, Skelton or Fire Demon now, would you?

No, I thought not. Get ye to the pre-order page of your choice, then.

The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III: Three’s Company For The Long Haul

Posted on May 23, 2015 by geelw

So. The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III is out and yes, you SHOULD buy and play it if you like action/RPG’s with a sense of humor (and optional gore), loads of random loot drops and probably closure as NeoCore Games finishes up its trilogy. That said… oh, for the days of the retail review disc arriving in the mail! While 20GB may not seem like a huge file to download in this era of “everyone” having a high speed connection, the best I can do around here is roughly 11 to 36 mbps. And that’s WITH connections dropping out from time to time adding more time to the download. 11 hours to download a game (which would be closer to 5 or 6 if the speed is consistent and there aren’t any connection drops) is way too long for me and while I’m not impatient, I have no idea how people put up with this sort of thing with larger game files.

Yeah, yeah, it’s something we’ve “gotten used to” as the digital age has beat retail over the head senselessly as a “superior” option. But for folks like me who fail to see the speed difference when having a disc means you get into those games you want FASTER and with only any day one (or later) patches to download, this digital divide is more “haves” versus “have nots” stuff I see some game companies no longer addressing. Boo. But hell, I won’t take this minor annoyance out on NeoCore games and all their hard work at all. Although it WOULD be cool to see them get their trilogy out on consoles at some point so even MORE people could enjoy it. Eh, we’ll see. In between the ongoing strife here I need to fit my Sunday around getting this game onto a hard drive here, so it’s an early night for this old fart. Back in a bit.

The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III: 2015, Meet 1999? That Works For Me

Posted on May 18, 2015 by geelw

Like a worn pair of favorite jeans you’ve had in your possession for years or a good leather jacket, NeoCore Games‘ throwback action/RPG The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing has been one of those reliable standbys that feels as it’s been around a great deal longer than it actually has. This is actually a good thing, mind you. NeoCore’s click and slash series is up to its third installment which is coming to Steam on May 22nd, so here’s a look at what to expect with that set of tease-packed videos above.

Diehard players who still have a death grip on their older Windows XP-powered computers will be glad to see as with the other two installments, Van Helsing III will run on their creaky old systems. Neocore doesn’t own them that at all, mind you. But it’s great to see a developer not ditch those players who bought that first game at all and continue to support them with all three parts of the series working on what they currently own. While the ability to use an Xbox 360 controller to play the game was a patched in addition to Van Helsing II, the game is still superior with the standard keyboard/mouse setup.

The mix of action, horror and humor elements is something that sets the game apart from the more deadly serious to much sillier Diablo-style games on the market, as is NeoCore’s attention to more “realistic” detailed environments. Granted, the mix of steampunk, classic monsters (werewolves, vampires and such) and other fantasy bits keeps things fresh throughout. One thing the game will need to be is extremely optimized and as good as can be at launch. VHII had some pesky launch issues that were resolved over time but probably soured a few gamers who tried it out and found it lacking in some areas. From what I’m seeing so far it seems that the third time’s the charm. We’ll find out in four more days.