Random Film of the Week(end): Swing Girls

Posted on July 21, 2013 by geelw

Shinobu Yaguchi’s 2004 comedy gem, Swing Girls is more or less a cross between High School Musical and School of Rock (before both of those were big things in the US) as well as a riff on the old “Hey kids, let’s put on a show!” style of old Hollywood film making from the days of Andy Hardy and a boatload of other fun fluff musicals. It’s a fun and summery family friendly flick where there’s nothing offensive happening, there’s not a single gunshot fired and the only death here is one that’s part of the plot and it’s not a human being that gets it. Yes, I’ll actually spoil things by running a clip below the jump just because it’s probably the best use of the Louis Armstrong version of “What a Wonderful World” you’ll ever see as well as the funniest bit in a film full of them.

The movie works so well because it’s full of deadpan moments and flat out funny portions where paying attention to dialog and visual detail add more laughs. It’s a film that’s not pretending to be anything other than a homage to those old musicals and while it’s not flawless, it’s definitely worth tracking down if you like movies that guaranteed you’ll get a grin going that lasts for about as long as you’re in front of that TV or monitor…

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Retro Summer Heat: Bad Girls Go to Hell Trailer

Posted on July 19, 2013 by geelw

This post is for the smiling guy I saw out walking today wearing a suit and tie all buttoned up and saying to his baking lady friend (trying to keep up in her high heels and about to melt makeup) “This heat is NOTHING to me! HAHAHAHAHA!”

Yeah, you suck and the planet you come from sucks as well.

Note: SOME would say this trailer is NSFW, but given that I’m posting this after work hours, YOU can watch it and not feel guilty or cheap. Unless you’re watching this at work and get creeped on by your boss. Oops – now he’s going to think a lot less (or more) of you and you’ll get a raise or a demotion or something. Whatever it is, even if it’s “good”, it’s not good, as now he’ll be sliding by with a grin on his mug, a mug in his claw and a “Whatcha watchin’?” leer to really freak you out. OK, other than clips on some ancient HBO show and stills from a book a friend lent me many years ago, I’ve actually never seen a Doris Wishman-directed film. The trailer makes me want to. It’s the title, silly. Well, OK… the sheer camp value is also the kicker here. Anyway, yeah… some of you need another shower, the rest of you want to chase me around the room with a spiked baseball bat. It’s too hot for the latter, so just stick your head and feet into a nice bucket of ice (or ice cream) and cool off. You can hate me in the winter or something…

Or you can hate the fine folks at Sleaze-O-Rama for twisting your arm and “making” you click that link… and yeah, Bad Girls go to Hell 365 days a year – they just wear less in this weather.

SHARKNADO 2 On the Way? It Is if You’re a Fan of NWA!

Posted on July 12, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, I watched that damn dumb flick last night and man, it was AWFUL. And awfully hilarious. And why the hell were some of the funniest and crudest jokes said in the background as if they were dubbed in later? Oh well. Junk TV is Junk TV. Of course, the mad, mad satirists at Taiwan’s wonderful NWA World know this AND they do better cheesy CGI effects than the guys at Asylum. I say let THEM do that sequel. This fake trailer PROVES they can hack it and make it cheaper to boot! Hell, I’d BUY this if it were on a DVD…

It’s Hump Day and Conan Still Hates Camels.

Posted on July 10, 2013 by geelw

OK, this camel-socking joke has a (VERY) short lifespan, but I’d forgotten about the cinema from Cauldron’s 2004 game Conan (or Conan: The Dark Axe), which never got a US release. It’s not bad for what it is (I own the PC, PAL format Xbox and GameCube versions), clocks in at about 8 or 9 hours the first time through and has versus and survival modes that strangely enough don’t allow you to play as Conan(!). Anyway, yeah… more digital animal abuse (again!) just means I get put on that camel hit list again (which is why I avoid zoos, deserts and anything else where there’s a chance I’ll be set upon by pissed off humpbacked four-legged creatures. Well, I’ve had dreams with camels in them, but I’ve never punched one and they’ve pretty much left me alone…

Monday Madness, Too: Couples Retail Therapy, 1932 Style!

Posted on July 8, 2013 by geelw

(thanks again, Good Old Days Returns!)

Wait, What? “CHECK YOUR HUSBAND??” OK, right! Yeah, you WISH that mall near you or five states away offered this particular service. You’d be dragging that battle-axe out every other day to peruse some shoes just so you could pay a dollar to get tagged, shuffled into the back and woman-handled for a bit while your wifey-poo gets her Blahnik fetish taken care of. And if there’s an artist side of your better half, a trip out for some Secs in the city with a little baggage room squeezin’ on the side? Certeza, porque não? (Você só vai entender essa piada se você falar mal traduzido Português, pela maneira… Obrigado, bing!). I don’t know what film this is from, but I can see this taking off fast in some states where a handful of wealthy fatcats make more than the entire middle class in their area and feel entitled to do endure such treatment on a regular basis. That’s one sure way to make an economy boom – make everyone giddy because those who have the money are making it rain down on those who don’t…

Yeah, right – that trickle down stuff only happens when some drunk bazillionaire “accidentally” pees on his chauffeur who’s trying to extract him from the back seat of that hideous stretch Bentley or has done so, but is trying to keep him away from the koi pond…

Monday Madness: It’s A Jungle Out There! Dancing is Permitted.

Posted on July 8, 2013 by geelw

(thanks GoodOldDaysReturns!)

Yeah, so… how’s that well-chilled cubicle treating you to-day? Same ol’ same ol’, right? Gals yammering away around the water cooler or microwave about their weekend and hair, hair, hair in this humidity, guys doing the same but skipping the hair talk save for sharing man-scaping tips (eww and yikes, that hair can save your life one day!), and yeah, there’s that room-shaking sound again. That’s right, kids – It’s the big boss bellowing out of his cave every so often like a really hungry but even more lazy bear. Yeah, yeah, yeah- that’s a proper classic Monday for you. “Illegitimum non carborundum” and all that stuff. Just don’t start the drinking until AFTER work, chief. Nothing like coming back from that one hangover lunch and still have three or four hours to grind away. OK then – I’ll let you get back to your boulder, Sisyphus -hope you enjoyed the strange sights above…

Random Film of the Week: Yankee Doodle Dandy

Posted on July 5, 2013 by geelw

Like most Hollywood musical biographies, Yankee Doodle Dandy plays fast and loose with its versions of the facts, but also does a really fine job of keeping you hooked in thanks to great casting, a zippy pace and plenty of great, memorable scenes. James Cagney’s performance as George M. Cohan is thrilling enough (he rightfully won an Academy Award for it), but every other actor playing a major role here does an excellent job or keeping up with Cagney’s fast-talking, speak-singing, loose-limbed portrayal of the legendary multi-talented entertainer.

Released in 1942 to a country recently plunged into the Second World War, the sheer level of flag-waving, heart-clutching, voice booming Pledge of Allegiance patriotism here is eye-popping to the point of unintentionally funny, but it manages to works flawlessly as a morale booster of the highest order. It’s also a pretty decent comedy when it needs to be, as George’s early days are well-played by a young actor who nails his part for some early comic gold before succeeding his part to the snappier, snazzier Cagney.

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“Moses Supposes” SOME of You Need A Laugh Right About Now…

Posted on July 3, 2013 by geelw

How’s your Wednesday going? OK? Good. Get lost. This one’s for the gloomy crew out there suffering because they have a long weekend vacation with people they’d want to put IN a cooler or on a grill and not have to drive a few dozen to hundred miles just to get the usual yearly family feeding frenzy (one of many the holidays have devolved into). If that’s you, yeah – wash away those bad thoughts with a cold something and catch a little wordplay and fancy dancing from Kelly and O’Connor in this clip from Singin’ in the Rain. What,you were expecting something from Yankee Doodle Dandy? Well, that’s supposed to be a Random Film of the Week post one of these days (and perhaps even tomorrow if I can swing it and have the time to run it up the flagpole here). Anyway,I like this sequence because it’s just so dumb on paper, but perfect as a moving image. Enjoy and maybe drag one of those relatives you’re cranky at to watch it as well – it’s nice to share, you know…

I Would Seriously Watch More Sports if NWA World Did All the Coverage…

Posted on July 3, 2013 by geelw

“Tennis, anyone?” Not me, usually! Or Golf, Football and anything else with overpaid mostly already wealthy “superstars” running around or otherwise interacting with each other on a field of some sort. On the other hand, if the nightly sports report was anything close to as nutty as what NWA World cooks up ridiculously fast and seemingly for not a lot of money, I’d be glued to the tube every night for those highlights!

Hmmm… Of course, I have the feeling that those guys and gals over in Taiwan are having a load of a joke at our expense. But it’s all good, I say – some sports fans take their hobby way too seriously, so these videos do a really nice job of lightening the load…

Wednesday Is BUMP Day For Camels on Conan’s Calendar…

Posted on July 3, 2013 by geelw

(from ptyalisme)

Well, now. I guess I can take it this also means Mr. Conan doesn’t need any car insurance either? Well, he doesn’t even have a car in those movies, so… Hmmm, I just realized that this joke only works if you live in the US and watch TV commercials, so anyone reading this outside the states is probably very baffled (or even more so than usual). Anyway, poor camel! Well, I guess it’s better to take a lump to the dome than cough up a lung or two smoking those nasty cigarettes he’s been peddling on the side. I guess that’s another American joke too, huh? Karma is a bitch, folks. Of course, all this means is Arnold is coming back as a camel in his next life and that camel? He’s probably coming back as Bruce Lee and he’ll have Camel Arnold’s address very well memorized. If I’m around that long, I’ll be sure to post the results of that match here…