Wait, You’re Still Here? Mr.Moto Will Take Care Of You But Good…

(thanks, allpublicdomain!)

mr_motos_last_warning_MPI always used to crack up as a kid watching Peter Lorre jumping off stuff and onto some poor stuntman or actor as Mr. Moto, not realizing he wasn’t some very talented Asian guy, but some guy playing a very talented Asian. Yeah, not quite PC these days, but the films are still fun (and funny) to watch as Moto-san solves a murder or three, gets in some comments about people underestimating him for assorted reasons and wraps up each case with a neat little bow.

This one’s one of the later entries and not as “cool” as some of the previous films in my opinion, but still worth a look. And hey, it’s FREE, so knock it off with the “but I wanted to see something more current!” stuff and eat yer popcorn. That’s free as well when you come around here. Hey – you’re lucky I even let you in with all those shopping bags and that Black Friday grin you were wearing. You look like a possessed Cheshire Cat crossed with a tired elf!

Humor? So, Microsoft Says NOT To Stand That Xbox One On Its Side… Or Else.

XBOX_ONEGiven that the current model Xbox 360 can indeed be placed upright (although it can lead to disc scratching if the surface it’s placed on isn’t perfectly level and subject to being bumped into while playing a game or watching a DVD), it’s a given that some owners of the upcoming Xbox One will be looking to do the same with Microsoft’s new system.

However, according to this GameSpot UK article, a company representative says vertical orientation isn’t how the new console was designed. Of course, there will be a ton of hard-headed or space in that entertainment center challenged gamers who won’t follow the company’s “suggestions” at all or try out that standing position just once to “see if it works”, and you can never stop those folks from doing what they do.

On the other hand, I personally feel that there’s another, far sinister reason they don’t want you to stand that thing up… especially if you happen to do so and place that new, improved Kinect on the now top part of the system and power the thing on. To wit (actual test footage stolen from a Microsoft test facility):

(thanks, Donald Carten!)

Remember, you’ve been warned!

Random Film of the Week(end): The Chairman

(thanks, Night of the Trailers!)

the chairman One of those films that some overly reactionary folk will take WAY too seriously if they ever see it (or already have if they remember seeing it on TV), 1969’s The Chairman is an intriguing mix of drama, action and spy flick that despite a huge chunk of ambition and a nice sense of scale, really doesn’t do much other than shake the pot it’s in before burning up from its good idea/bad ideas never quite blending correctly.

Granted, seeing Gregory Peck play an egghead genius type sent to communist China by the US government to retrieve a special enzyme that can grow crops in any type of soil (cue evil Monsanto theme if there is such a thing) is both the most interesting and most baffling thing about this one. But don’t let that poster fool you too much into thinking Peck will fight Mao in a one on one battle or anything. They meet, but it’s a meeting of wills here – Peck’s got plenty of other stuff to worry about before and after that little engagement, however…

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Walking With Dinosaurs Trailer: Jurassic Snark to Some Science Doubters…

I saw this trailer when I went to see Turbo at a press screening earlier this month (which was also open to a bunch of lucky kids and parents) and after it was over, I overheard from behind me a few rows back, some adult reassuring their kid or the kid they were in charge of for the day that the film wasn’t “real like it is in the Bible”, and that kind of got my goat a little. Granted, this film is more than a bit stupid in that it’s trying to be like an extended episode of Meerkat Manor or some other “reality” animal show that’s supposed to be dramatic and charming (blech) as it “tells it like it is” or whatever. But I just don’t like adults ill-equipped for actual facts outside what was beaten into them spreading ignorance onto kids who need to expand their minds, not contract them and think less outside the box they’re forced into. You can’t be part of the future if you grow up not expanding your knowledge of the past.

Of course, it’s also important to have an open mind as well, but one does need to get wiser with age. That said, I save that open-minded stuff mostly for appreciating junky films like this one that try to have it both ways with men and dinosaurs in the same place like it’s a more violent live-action version of The Flintstones

And don’t even get me started on Dinosaurus! and its crazy electricity-revived caveman and dinosaurs triple threat. Yikes. Granted, I could go further back and post clips from sillier films made before science caught up with Hollywood and its need to present every bit of human (and pre-human) history as “entertainment”, but I tend to give those classics a pass on their lack of accuracy because the filmmakers didn’t have much to work with and man, if you can hate Gertie the Dinosaur for any reason, you really have no soul. Little in-joke there, by the way.

You still can’t hate Gertie, though.

KRONOS: 1957’s Alien Planet Eater Makes For An Interesting Muse…

KRONOS WT

(thanks, ScienceFictionFLIX!) 

KRONOS posterAnother favorite sci-fi flick from my younger days (OK, it still holds up today on a few fronts), Kurt Neumann’s 1957 film KRONOS is a really well-made and fun cheapie that benefits from some prescient scripting, pretty decent effects work (some nice for the era animation of the titular massive alien energy accumulator in a few quick shots), a snappy running time and a few unintentional chuckles from the usual overacting cast members emoting with relish about the over-sized and unstoppable alien threat of the week. Anyway, back in 2011 I was dinking around in MS Paint and had a sudden flash of inspiration to do a goofy tribute image and here you go. I guess it’s technically a piece of “fan art” although I have to chuckle at the “fan” part as it’s not exactly something I do on a regular basis. Yeah, I guess this gets added to the Random Film of the Week pile at some point. Feel free to check it out, as yep – it comes highly recommended.

Monday Got You Down Again? Call A Cab & The Brothers Will Bring You Up!

Yeah, that rain outside stinks today! It certainly slowed my productivity down considerably. Anyway, you had a REALLY crappy day at work, right? Well, I wish I’d posted this earlier…(sorry!). Anyway, here’s some Stormy Weather for you, complete with possibly the best classic tap routine on film from The Nicholas Brothers. If you’re not energized and bouncing around the room by the end of this, you may want to ring up an undertaker. Yeah, you can dance around the room, you know. Only the cat is watching and it really doesn’t give a hoot… unless you’ve forgotten to feed it and it’s looking at you funny.

Random Film of the Day*: One Million Years B.C.

*For the next week or so, I’m going to add a random film the great Ray Harryhausen worked on. The legendary special effects MASTER passed away on May 7, 2013 at age 92 in London and yes, the film world has lost a true giant as well as a fine and talented gentleman…

one million years b.c. posterWhen I was a wee bairn, I actually went to two different schools where some kids thought this 1967 film was based on actual facts and at least one really deluded kid thought it was a documentary. Seriously. My ears still spin in opposite directions thinking about that, but I digress. You’re either watching One Million Years B.C. for its faux historical value, Ray Harryhausen’s excellent dinosaur effects or Raquel Welch with a side order of Martine Beswick in that cave gal cat-fight sequence. Don’t deny it, now…

Anyway, I’ve always thought this films was pretty awful for a few reasons I’ll touch on below, but the camp value plus those always awesome looking and moving Harryhausen dinos make it very watchable and re-watchable, provided you take none of what you see at all seriously…
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Random Film of the Week(end): Beneath the Planet of the Apes

BtPotAI usually avoid sticking my nose into other people’s conversations, but I had to poke and sniff lightly into a heated debate this week about Alien 3 being the “only” major sci-fi movie where a main character dies in a “really dumb” manner. For starters, warts and all, there’s a pretty decent (albeit as bleak as rollerskating all the rings of hell in a day) first film in David Fincher’s often negatively discussed sequel/”finale”. I did a RFotW on that a while ago (note that link above – go read it if you’re still one of those who despises the film and maybe it will help out a bit).

And second,Ted Post’s 1970 film, Beneath the Planet of the Apes definitely did its killing off of many major characters (and an entire planet) during the last reel in an even more shocking (and some would say, “really dumb”) manner. It’s actually not a bad film at all, but by upping the shock value of the original classic by obliterating the earth it was definitely a film you didn’t walk out of the theater feeling happy and bouncy after viewing…

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Random Film of the Week(end) 3: MAGIC


magic posterIf you were an impressionable young lad or young lady of a certain age growing up in the 1970’s, the TV commercial for this film probably scared the piss out of you and more than once at that. I was 14 and at the time this came out and man, it freaked the hell out of me, especially when it popped up late at night.

That meant I just HAD to see it back then, even if it meant sneaking into a theater playing it. Of course, being the more carefree 70’s, that bit of stealth action wasn’t necessary at all, So I managed to get in with a friend from school and ended up being a bit disappointed that the film, while good, wasn’t as chilling as the TV spot. Of course, a few years later I saw it again and got a new appreciation for it, so I’m probably just like a few of you who also caught this back in the day.
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Random Film of the Week(end): Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

Like a few too many people who didn’t initially “get” it, I absolutely hated Beyond the Valley of the Dolls the first time I saw it back in the early 1980’s. Of course, I went in expecting one thing (I’d never seen a Russ Meyer film before) and yes, got something else entirely. Yes, I was probably a wee bit too young to grasp the wild blend of comedy, drama, morality play and plenty of under-dressed female and male flesh bouncing and wiggling about. But it only took a few years and a more maturely snarky perspective to see what I was really missing. Before then, I’d always given anything Roger Ebert said about movies the hovering eyebrow (as in “What does HE know, he co-wrote that crappy movie!”). After I started liking this beautiful, campy mess co-written and directed by Russ Meyer, it became of the first flicks I’d recommend to friends or anyone wanting to see something “out there” and it’s still ahead of its time in many respects… Continue reading