Sure, it looks thrilling and all, but I’m not on board with the secret life of Peter’s dad, Andrew Garfield’s massive head with that massive pompadour (or whatever hair shape that is on his head) and a few other pesky things. The Rhino is a Transformer? Oh well – better than than Paul Giamatti in a smelly fake rhino hide suit, I’d gather. The film looks even more like a video game in those action scenes and while that MAY be a good thing to some of you out there, the fact is there’s a game in the works and the movie doesn’t need to go that route to keep my attention. But, hey… it’s what the people want and what they’re going to get no matter what grumpy guys like me grouse on about. Well, for all the stuff flying around and Spidey in peril shots, the only saving grace here is you can’t tell what the heck is going on with the story at all. Then again, this may simply mean this sequel is even more plot-laden than the reboot was (which is not a good thing at all). Oh well – as long as there’s no disco dancing in this one and Peter somehow loses the skateboard and attitude between now and the release date, maybe there’s something here to salvage into whatever the third film will eventually be.

I didn’t like the reboot at all for many reasons and I don’t think I’ll like this sequel equally at all either (he said, intentionally mangling the language with relish). If this one’s as overblown and underwhelming as the reboot was, I’m only going to be smiling when the people who think this will be better get what they deserve when they pay up for that movie ticket. Now, I don’t wish Spidey any ill will at all, mind you. I just wonder how a TV series would do as a weekly show or series of monthly movies that might cost a lot less than what’s looking like a CGI-packed ego project (with Stan Lee popping up in a cameo again). Then again, other than bits and pieces, none of the Spider-Man films has ever really been my favorite. I think I’ve seen the first one three times, but every other one except for the reboot twice. That one I saw once on cable and I almost changed the channel when (yet again) Peter Parker was mask-less for too long as if it’s contractually obligated for his secret identity to be revealed to as many people as possible at the most inopportune moments.

Bleh. Anyway, all these days of “Ooh, here comes the trailer!” trailers and the resulting foaming at the mouth and pants from the usual suspects online only add to the sense of desperation I sense going on from folks who so want this to be bigger than it needs to be. These folks so want the movie to be better than it is that they’ll fool themselves that it’s much more awesome than it actually turns out to be. Of course, that’s Hollywood these days, so I guess I can take it or leave it as usual. Leaving it gives me more time to do stuff I care about a lot more than a film with what’s going to be a four or less month trip to Blu-Ray at the end of the day…