Review: Nano Assault

Platform: Nintendo 3DS

Developer: Shin’en

Publisher: Majesco Entertainment

# of Players: 1

ESRB Rating: E (Everyone)

Official Site


Score: A- (85%)

If there’s ever a proper Fantastic Voyage remake (and not some awful direct to video “update”) that actually rates a licensed game tie-in, Shin’en needs to be the go-to developer for the project. Nano Assault, their cool new game for the 3DS, drops you into a microscopic ship for 32 levels of arcade shooting against assorted mutated organisms and massive bosses in an attempt to shut down an alien virus before it wipes out the human race. While the game is pretty slim on the storytelling and a bit brief, it packs a killer visual punch and the shooting is excellent throughout. Continue reading

Humor (Of Sorts): TOS-ing Cookies, Mandatory Update Version

I’ve noticed loads of complaints regarding privacy and other pesky issues with mobile data carriers, movie and game content services and anything that requires a lengthy Terms Of Service (TOS) agreement to be read before a consumer gives his or her OK. Given that almost no one actually seems to read through these things before or after they’ve clicked that “OK” button only to go ballistic later on when they find out they’ve lost another basic civil right, I propose a fail-safe solution that will take care of the problem. And as I’m all about job creation these days, this solution will also get a few people employed in the process.

Here’s the dead: get a bunch of Hollywood actor-types to shoot a video/record audio where they read through a TOS contract and stick it on the next update as a mandatory viewing or listening experience. It’ll be just like a TV ad for medications, but read so that you can actually hear every word. Yeah, the entire user base of every device on the market will rant their asses off online (I can see the fires lighting as I type this out). But hell, at least they can’t say that they didn’t know what they were in for in terms of the next invasion of a tiny bit more of their privacy, right?

UNEpic: This Will Be Yor New Favorite Indie Game.

Here I was, all set on whipping out an article on the best games I’ve played this year when someone sends me a link to Francisco Téllez de Meneses’ amazing UNEpic, which managed to knock my socks off and keep me away from actual work for most of today. I’ll have a review up in a bit, but for now, I say drop everything and BUY this game. Or hell, at least try the demo out and see what I’m raving about. The cross between classic side-scrolling platformer and RPG elements plus an excellent (and really funny) script (thanks for keeping the language real and raw rather than go for the typical cleaned up dialog found in most games) makes this one of the best surprises in a huge year for indie games. I’d love to see Francisco get his game onto PSN or XBLA or at least wider recognition, as the game manages to feel nostalgic, yet fresh at the same time. Anyway, I’ll shut up here and let you check it out for yourselves.

OPINION: Why MMO’s Need Offline Modes (Hint: It’s A Jobs Creation Program)

With the recent announcement of Lego Universe going under as of January 2012 and the resulting (and unfortunate) staff layoffs, there’s a lot of blame floating around about just what went “wrong”. Obviously, the lack of enough subscribers (despite a recent move to a “free to play” based business model) is a core reason the MMO met its demise.However, I think a few other factors didn’t help the game one bit and in fact, the project was doomed to failure from the start. Why do I say this with such certainty? Simple. The lack of ANY way to play offline in any form makes EVERY single MMO (no matter how popular), a dead game once the amount of online players drops significantly, making a game too expensive to keep going and a waste of resources that could otherwise keep a dev team at least partially employed… Continue reading

Gallery: PC Games Library (Most Of It)

More stuff from the collection – these are actually posted on my Facebook page, but it’s only accessible to friends and folks on my contact lists. These pics were taken earlier this year, so a few (well, a bunch of) new arrivals are missing as are a few games I loaned out (as I’m such a nice guy). That, and the photos obviously don’t include all the stuff currently on my hard drive and a few portable drives.

I actually have a dead HDD here that had a ton of games and game saves on it that I didn’t want to destroy in hopes of one day recovering everything. But I’ve replaced a chunk of what was on it already, as it was mostly indie stuff and a bunch of free games and demos I downloaded years back. Yup, I’ve played all of these games. Nope, I’ve not completed every single one, but I can definitely spin a few stories about the too many hours spent with a lot of what’s here (if prompted and properly soused, ha and ha-ha).

-GW

OK, OK, My “Best of 2011” List Is On The Way…

Ha! Someone asked If I was going to do a Game of the Year article or at least make a few picks. Ha! Well, I normally hate that sort of stuff because it turns into a “popular vs. good” contest on other sites, but, Ha! I guess I’ll do up a list of stuff i was impressed with and run it in a few days. Just don’t expect it to be in lock-step with other sites (although it WILL have a few of the biggest games this year on it). Ha!

Sonic CD Lands Pretty Much Everywhere (Except On An Actual CD)

Let’s see now, Xbox LIVE Arcade, Android and iPhone/iPad/iPod Touch today and tomorrow, PSN on the 20th, Windows Phones sometime early in 2012. How funny is it that a game with “CD” in the title DOESN’T get an actual disc release? Oh well. Heck, I was hoping this would have been a bonus in the otherwise superb Sonic Generations, but nope. I guess I’ll have to hold out for a Vita release at some point. Anyway, if you’ve one of these fancy de-vices listed above and want to experience a classic platformer that will plant a grin across your mug, definitely check out what Sega has cooking. Now about getting ALL the 16-bit up to to Sega Saturn Sonic games all in one place…

Gallery: PSP Library

Well, it’s not much of a library NOW, but it was about twice a big until about two or three years back when I started selling off a chunk of it. Still, with the Vita on the way, I’m probably going to be looking for inexpensive complete games to add to the stack at some point down the road. I actually REALLY want more demos from all over, but I’m too darn lazy and busy to track any more down than what I have. Oh well… one day when I have the time (and definitely, the money) to burn. And, oops… that last pic is what happens when you put stuff away THEN find a few things you left out because they were on another shelf…

Hey, Sony! Here’s How To Make Vita Memory Cards Less Of a Knife In The Wallet…

With the announcement of prices for the PS Vita’s proprietary memory cards getting a lot of gamers up in arms (despite Sony recently stating that they’re not set in stone), I figure I may as well add my two cents here in order to help smooth things out a bit. There’s a simple solution Sony can use to quell some of that anger and get a few consumers to snap up multiple cards in the process. If the cards haven’t been produced yet, Sony can (and should) add a few free PSPminis to them as bonus content at retail or for those who have PSN accounts, add a voucher redeemable for their choice of minis as DLC when they register their card online. As we’re in the age where people want something extra when they spend what they feel is a lot of money on something they feel is overpriced, I’d say a bit of a reward for their loyalty (even though there’s not a cheaper third party solution in sight) will go a long way.  Continue reading

Review: Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3

Platform: Xbox 360 (also on PlayStation 3)

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

# of Players 1 – 2 (Online 2 –  Eight)

ESRB Rating: T (Teen)

Official Site

Score: A-

Featuring a dozen new characters, eight new stages and  a number of excellent balancing fixes, Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 makes one of the year’s best fighters even better. Capcom’s creatively insane development team has pulled out all the stops here and yes, this one’s a must-buy even if you’ve already sunk time into mastering the original. Although this super-enhanced update is as good as it gets, the exclusion of he original’s DLC characters is a tiny bit of a cheap move that may disappoint some hardcore players. That and a few other missing features that would have made this deal even better keep the game from a perfect score. However, warts aside, there’s more than enough here for fighting fanatics of any skill level to get their thrills in offline or online play. Continue reading