Can The Conjuring Scare Up (and Out) an Audience? Let’s See Now…

Posted on June 30, 2013 by geelw

I’d say it’ll be one of those big weekend gross horror flicks that tapers off to a whisper around week four or five for a few reasons. ONE: The Amityville Horror/Paranormal Activity/Exorcist-style format is VERY played out unless you’re one of those suckers who continually gets scared by these sorts of “horror” flicks. TWO: “Based on a True Story”? Yeah, right. All that means is a room full of writers over a period of time condensed a newspaper clipping or TV news item to even barer bones before padding it out with assorted jump scares and maybe some minor gore effects, creepy music and noises on the soundtrack to get a specific rating. THREE: Speaking of that rating… That “R” rating better mean I’m under the couch and chewing the carpet up, not snoozing through some hokey faux parapsychologists and another easily debunked “ghost” story. Yeah, I said couch, as I refuse to see any modern horror movie these days with a too-easy to squeal and squeak audience that saw the same damn sort of movie two weeks ago or earlier and acts as if that same “BOO!” shock effect is something they’ve never seen in their short attention spanned lives.

That and the dopes who talk at the screen and/or yell at people for doing so make it far more entertaining to flush that ticket money down the nearest toilet…

CE Week 2013: Trego: Some Apple Users Make Even Better Accessories Than Apple Does.

Posted on June 30, 2013 by geelw

It took all of under three seconds for Ramsey Elias to show off his amazing Trego and even though I’m not an iPad user, I’d buy one just to tote it around in that wearable case and show it off as he did. As I walked up and asked what a Trego was, he whipped the bag around from his back to his chest, zipped open a flap and down dropped a securely fixed iPad ready for action. I laughed and nodded because it was such a genius invention that Elias really didn’t need to say more and his own grin made me feel as if he’s quite used to people responding in a similar fashion.

Speaking of fashion, that Trego is a really cool-looking bag as well as a more than capable multi-tasker. It’s got separate storage for plenty of extra gear, That drop down tray makes the bag a sturdy workstation that never has to leave your body (making your tablet a hard to steal item) and if you do take the bag off, it’s still an excellent, stable work surface. Even cooler, your iPad rests in a detachable case when you need to take it out of the bag, but I’m betting you’ll be so happy you have a hands-free solution that keeps your tablet safe that you’ll be trying to take your Trego into bed or the shower. I’d say bed is good if you’re using that iPad for something fun, but I don’t think using it in the shower is a particularly great idea…

That Apple doesn’t carry these in their stores is a shame, as I’m betting the sight of an Apple associate whipping that Trego around to reveal a new iPad would practically guarantee 1:1 sales of the device and what’s currently the best carrying case for it I’ve ever seen. Anyway, got an iPad? get a Trego. $79, free shipping (in the Continental US). It’s that simple. And go tell a friend to get one as well so they don’t try to steal yours. Then again, the chances of that happening are slim, as they’ll have have a hard time getting your own hands off that bag…

CE Week 2013: Fujiiryoki Will Get Your Big Ass Fit While You’re Standing Still or Lying Down…

Posted on June 30, 2013 by geelw

Every time I see one of the many, MANY ads for diet pills, magic sprinkly chemical powders or drinks that make you full and other ineffectively expensive crap pushed on the public to people who think losing weight is too hard because actual exercise is involved that’s more than driving to the mall or walking down to the mailbox (or on a real daring stroll, to the local pharmacy).

I’m betting some real money of my own that if some of these quick fixers and anti-fitness fools added up all the money they’ve ~~spent~~ wasted on those “wonder” drugs and processed junk that only makes their purses and wallets lighter, they could all each afford a Fujiiryoki FJ-099 Body Slimmer and/or one of the company’s heavenly massage chairs.

Not to get all heavy on you (ha ha), but if you can ambulate yourself out to grab a diet pill of questionable origin and even more debatable effect and moan to your friends that it didn’t work or it worked too well but only in that “Welp, now I’m hooked and my liver/kidneys/spleen hates me!” kinda way… well, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Meanwhile, Dr Fuji’s expensive solution pays for itself, does a few awesome things to that body you’ll see AND feel and guess what? I bet you a dollar you’ll be laughing your ass off as you rumble those pounds down and get back into fighting shape. As soon as I saw Dr. Fuji on that CE Week show floor getting his Gangnam Style on while dancing on that Body Slimmer, yeah, I laughed at and with him before strolling past. The second time I circled past and saw a web show crew filming a funny promo spot, I decided to step up after they cleared out and see what the whole “Butt Show” thing was about.

Boy, was I (and my butt) VERY surprised…

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CE Week 2013: Westinghouse Digital’s 84″ 4K Whiteboard Has Much Better Potential Than Even They Think…

Posted on June 30, 2013 by geelw

With all the fuss and bother over 4K televisions as the *new* new standard at last week’s CE Week,I was actually quite bored by this latest in the resolution revolution. Sure, all those massive TV’s LOOK phenomenal, but the current problem here is they all fall under the “bigger is best!” and “early adopters will indeed pay MORE for this new technology!” categories more than doing anything actually revolutionary.

That’s right folks, you’ll need a room the size of a small classroom and above and an entire wall or equivalent floor space for these door and door plus sized higher-def sets that come in at thousands to tens of thousands of dollars. If that’s not enough to keep the folks with small apartments and smaller wallets away in droves, there’s not a single 4K ready program out there to watch, meaning you’re buying into a TV that’s TOO good for what you’ll probably be watching. Yes, I’m sure that high-high def TV programming is on the way, but you all KNOW it’s going to be a reality show cavalcade and more sports (and if you’re spending that much on a TV and not season tickets… um… oh, nevermind)…

Don’t get me wrong – the image quality on every set I saw was phenomenal and I had to admit that had I the space and funds, I’d probably dive right in feet first just for gaming purposes and to check out my current blu-rays to see if I could notice whatever benefits upscaling had. Then again, I’m not that discriminating video guy other than demanding that black are blacks and not shades of greyish or blob-like darkness found in off-brand and some major HD sets. Other than assorted internet functions that basically turn your TV into a wall-sized facebook page or super-crowded screen full of apps, none of these new and expensive sets seemed to offer anything game changing other than bigger screens and nothing to do with them but engage in the usual passive viewer behavior. However, as soon as I walked around to the Westinghouse booth and saw their new 84″ LED 4K Interactive Whiteboard being displayed, my head nearly spun itself off in amazement.

(thank you,MyTVcollection!)

You can DRAW directly on the screen. If you’re thinking or saying out loud “And?”, guess what – you’ll catch on eventually (I think). As my brain was whirling around from all the artistic applications of such a device, one of the reps started in with his pitch about how the TV is “a high quality alternative to projectors in many government, educations and corporate settings” and I was really wishing he was thinking as far outside of the box as I was…

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Humor: Watermelon Oreos: Only ONE Man Can Properly “Review” These…

Posted on June 29, 2013 by geelw

(clip from opieradio)

It just hit me once more (ha ha) as I still have that slimy frosting taste in my mouth that Nabisco, like too many other American food companies, have lost their collective minds over getting as much money from you as possible and giving you nothing in return but a bellyful of pain. We’re getting fat, lazy and sick from these guilty “pleasures” designed to act like narcotics once ingested as they slap and tickle the same pleasure centers and lead to addiction much in the same way any drug made to do so does all to well.

Of course, most folks will deny this as they have that 3am craving and boogie to the kitchen for their much more legal fix, but it’s the same “I can stop if I want to!” deal you hear from any addict when it comes to getting out of the fatty/sugary/salty hole you’ve fallen into. Anyway, buy these at your leisure (and/or peril) along with the other horrid “limited edition” Oreos while you can. I’ll be putting in a call to Gallagher and hoping he can clone himself. There are a LOT of Target stores to hit…

Been a Busy Bee AND It’s Been a Bear of A Week, Sooo…

Posted on June 29, 2013 by geelw

“Hey, Boo Boo!” indeed. Yeah, that’s pretty much how it’s been, but you take the good with the bad (or else). Eh, I guess I can’t complain much, all things considered. OK, I’ll complain about the horrible Watermelon Oreo I ate about an hour or so ago. Yuk. It’s a good thing it was a freebie, as I’d be really pissed off had I actually spent money on a pack of those. I guess that’s why it’s called a guilty pleasure, huh? OK, enough rambling – off to take something for this headache and maybe have a cup of tea.Oddly enough… I’m all out of honey.

Random Film of the Week(end): The Man With Two Brains

Posted on June 29, 2013 by geelw

Depending on the mood you’re in, The Man With Two Brains will either be the dumbest movie you ever saw or you’ll be laughing so much that you’ll need to rewind some scenes a few times just to take them in and make sure your eyes were functioning properly. Of course, the truth is the film actually slides between both ends of that particular scale and pretty much doesn’t care whether you get every joke it throws at you.

That was pretty much the template for most of Steve Martin’s comedies back in the day before he settled into those more mundane and family friendly big box office reliable flicks that make some of his older fans cringe because they can see he’s just collecting a better paycheck rather than doing the comedy (or music, as the man can play a mean banjo!) he probably wants to.
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Spelunker Falls Onto eShop for Nintendo Wii U/3DS – Velcro Gloves Not Included.

Posted on June 29, 2013 by geelw

And why would you need Velcro gloves, you ask? Well, I’m gathering you’ve never played Spelunker, the legendary game with “the weakest action hero in the history of video games” (and boy, is that ever true!). Since 1983, that fragile little miner guy has been a staple of gaming history who’s stood the test of time, inspiring many other games including Derek Yu’s rather spiffy homage Spelunky and probably helping to break a few too many controllers thrown at a wide range of televisions.

Anyway, after popping up in an HD version on the PlayStation Network, the original classic game is now (and finally) available for $4.99 on the Wii U and 3DS through Nintendo’s eShop (thank you, Tozai Games!), meaning you can see what all the fuss is about if you happen to own one of those consoles. The game certainly demands some fast reflexes as you scoot to nab treasure, avoiding death from above, below, left and right from bats, snakes, hot steam, electricity and falling from too-high spots (among other things). Not to mention that pesky ghost that pops up when you least expect it to get your heart racing.

Now, why would anyone subject themselves to such torture you ask? Well, because it’s actually a ton of FUN, folks. That and it’s hard not to root for that little guy with no particular talents who can die at the drop of a hat forging onward into certain doom to accomplish his goal. I’d say that describes the human condition in a way. Or perhaps I’m thinking too much (again). Hey, everyone needs a hobby right? Mine is stretching my poor brain into assorted shapes. And playing the occasional game that makes me want to jump up and down on a controller (which I won’t be doing as that Wii U GamePad is pretty expensive)…

It’s here! The Funny Lady Blogathon!

Posted on June 29, 2013 by geelw

Whee! I made it, Ma! Top of the World! (BOOOOM!) OK, OK, it’s just my first Blogathon submission, that’s all, but still – nice to get some new readers and yep, I’m poking around to contribute more articles elsewhere… OK, back to work… where was I again? Oh, right…(BOOOOOM!!)

Movies Silently

I am just marvelously excited! The Funny Lady Blogathon has launched! My fellow bloggers have joined me in celebrating the wonderful funny women of classic film!

Some have contributed reviews, some have contributed articles. I invited my Tumblr friends to make animated GIFs for the occasion and they did themselves proud! Come and see all the wonderful treasures that have been contributed!

A special note to participants:

Thank you so much for making my first blogathon a success! Please give me the URL of your post to make it easier for the readers to find your contribution. You can email, tweet, Tumblr message, anything you like.

I have arbitrarily divided the ladies into three categories covering the time when they did their most famous work. It’s just a guesstimate to keep things tidy so don’t be mad if I put someone in the wrong slot.

Blogs with direct links to…

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Pacific Rim “Under Attack” Featurette: It’s Not Really Trouble if You See it Coming…

Posted on June 28, 2013 by geelw

Um… “Forewarned is forearmed?” is that how that old saying goes? “Forehead is foresight?” Oh, I’ll get it one of these days. Anyway, everyone needs that big summer movie that’s not too cerebral yet entertaining and not insulting to fans of those old kaiju classics they grew up glued to the TV watching, so here you go. “Forsooth is Forspelt Forwrong?” Hmmm… let me give up now and find something a hell of a lot more productive to do. This too hot weather is making me nuts. Well, that and a few other things, but we’re working on those little issues bit by bit. Small movies, for one – they’re back thanks to WP bouncing back the html coding when I hit “Publish”. Yeah, that needs to get taken care of, grrrr…

UPDATE: Aha. Figured out what wasn’t working. Big Flicks Are BACK (part deux)…