Iron Man 3 TV Spot #3: Orange You Glad The Mandarin’s Not Real?

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

OK, OK… that was a REALLY terrible (and way too obvious) pun (and only one of a few too many – collect them all!), but I couldn’t help myself. Hell, Sir Ben is practically twirling his mustache as he chews the scenery up and spits out the seeds. Granted, some of you will find this sort of villainy quite appealing (another pun!), but I can see some more of you thinking this guy and his wacky candy rings is really fruity (*zing!*). Of course, I’d bet if he WERE real and standing within eyeball contact, you’d be hard pressed to say that to his face. More likely than not, he’d freshly squeeze some juice from your melon with a few waves of his fingers. OK, let me shut up before the Pun-isher has to come after me (Bwaa-ha-ha!). Good Night, folks…

Puppeteer Story Trailer: Press the Button, Pull The Strings – This PS3 Game’s Got Some Wings…

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

Another fine (and original) PS3 exclusive, SCE Japan’s super stylish adventure platformer Puppeteer, should hook in those core gamers (and yes, Sony fans) who crave nicely rendered (and slightly dark) fantasy worlds and characters to play with. This one tickles me because it’s doing the storybook come to life thing in a fun way without screaming “FAMILY GAME!” in huge neon letters. You really have to appreciate that Sony’s not letting the PS3 die off slowly (or quickly) with a bunch of crap budget titles and third-parry shovelware to remember it by, but I hope there are more exclusives like this to come. Frankly speaking, the PS4 absolutely needs to hit the ground rolling into 2014 with as few duds as possible from both first and third party developers who want their work to have long shelf lives and gameplay that’s more than the usual suspects doing the usual things.

As always, folks… we shall see…

Capcom Arcade Cabinet 1985-II Trailer: Three More To Make You Feel Young (Or Old)…

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

OK, my poor twitch reflexes are tingling, but that’s either good or bad depending on the game that needs playing. It’s good if it’s a slow jammer I can play half asleep, but not so good if it’s these three latest downloads for Capcom Arcade Cabinet on the PS3 (via PSN) and Xbox 360 (via XBLA), which you should be able to snap up right about now. Savage Bees, The Speed Rumbler and Commando are this week’s quarter-munchers, so grab them and prepare to see how the old folks got it done. Hey, wait… I’m ONE of those old folks, so perhaps I should show myself some more respect. Or maybe not, as that would be a bit too pompous – I kind of wasn’t so good at some of these games back in the day. But practice makes almost perfect, right? Off to get some training in before I fire this one up. 50 push-ups should do. If I survive that part, I’ll be back…

The Conjuring Trailer: Hell Is Other People (And How)…

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

the conjuring Oh, this new trailer for the upcoming WB flick is nice and creepy, but just what is this obsession with revisiting elements from The Ring and other scarier flicks these Hollywood horror directors seem to have? Not that I don’t mind a good horror flick that’s influenced by others from time to time, but here’s another one that gives weird little girls a bad name. And don’t get me started on the whole “inspired by actual events” thing that really means “Oh yeah? PROVE it!” to a super jerk skeptic like myself.

Anyway, hey! I think we NEED weird little girls (and boys) who crawl up walls to grow up and become weirder women (and men) with that talent and I bet you’d agree with me (well, a little). That’s where some really great art comes from when that weirdness gets channeled in the right ways. And yep, having an outlet for one’s inside voices is a REALLY important thing. Otherwise, yeah… you get a gal (or guy) that makes YOU crawl up a wall because she’s/he’s wonderfully loopy to a fault (and drives anyone within a certain radius out of their minds for a few not quite good reasons). That 21-way intersection of Crazy Street and Cute Avenue is never a safe street to cross, folks…

KILLER IS DEAD English Dub Trailer #2: Mondo Zappa’s Badass Adventure Continues…

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

XSEED CONTRACT Lovely. There’s really not all that much to say here except Kadokawa Games, grasshopper manufacture and of course, Suda 51 are all on point and of course, Xseed Games NEEDS to be profusely knuckle-smooched for localizing this beautiful mess of a must-buy. Like the rest of Suda’s games I’ve played, I’m looking forward to that off-kilter style and humor that works so well when your head is in the right places. Some fans over-analyze his work so much that I wonder how they can enjoy it. Then I see that they don’t enjoy it as much as they SHOULD because they’re wasting time with all that analyzing. Key to a grasshopper/Suda game? Jump in feet first, controller in hands and enjoy the ride from beginning to end. You wouldn’t get off a moving roller coaster or bungie cord mid-fall to point out every spot where you think those could have been more fun, right? Well, I sure hope not, Superman…

Defiance Launch Trailer: A “New Age” Begins (Crazy Cat Ladies Holding Mice To Come)…

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

It’s here and launch day bumpiness aside when you get too many people playing your MMO at the same time, it seems that DEFIANCE is taking the MMO world by storm as far as a triple platform launch goes. I’m still seeing a bit of confusion from a few people who expected this online-only game to have an offline mode, but it’s good that they’re at least asking about it FIRST and not plunking down sixty bucks because they liked the TV commercials. Of course, having an offline more would have meant MORE people would be playing this on day one, but as I’ve noted previously, that’s up to Trion Worlds if this MMO takes off and users want more of the new world they’ve created (and not as a stupid simple mobile phone or device app). As always, we shall see, but so far, day one looks like the start of something big for both Trion and syfy. 13 days until the show premieres…

Grand Theft Auto V Cover: Meet The New Neighbors (You’ll Be Seeing A Lot Of Them Soon)…

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

GTA_V_Cover And here you go, your time-eater for the month of September (and beyond for some). September 17, 2013 is the big day, so expect some “sick” people at home with the GTA flu (TM) for a few days. Hilariously, there’s actually been some needless ire out there in Internet-land that Rockstar Games’ last two GTA games have been “too serious” when despite the open world shenanigans that can be pretty funny (well, in a slapstick-y gory way) that deeper, story driven narrative has been part of the franchise since the first games back on the PC and older consoles.

Granted, the games were more intentionally cartoon like in their character designs, but the evolution in visuals has been a natural thing thanks to Rockstar wanting to go in that direction as means to pull off more mature storytelling. THAT said, the game, like GTV IV, should be hilariously funny in terms of the assorted in jokes in everything from car names to radio spots that pop up as you’re driving around. The more of a “sophisticated” gamer you are, the more of these amusing references you’ll appreciate, I say. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go polish my pipe and air out my smoking jacket. With my pinky out.

Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut Random Screenshot of the Day: Don’t Inhale!

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

According to Guinness (no, not THAT other Guinness, silly – we don’t go back to the Swery65 Bar until Saturday’s post), the longest time spent holding one’s breath underwater was 22 minutes flat by Stig Severinsen of Denmark at the London School of Diving (which is in London, of course), on May 3, 2012. While I don’t think FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York) and his young charge are intending to break that record any time soon, YOU can certainly feel free to make that attempt on your own. Just set a timer and stare at this screenshot while holding your breath and see how long you can last. Simple, no? Um, you MAY want to practice for a bit before you go contact the Guinness people (no, not THOSE Guinness people!), but you SHOULD be able to do quite well because you won’t be underwater at all (unless you’re reading this in the bathtub while holding a tablet). That and if you need to give up, gasping for air doesn’t get you two lungs full of water (or dirty soapy water if you’re in the tub). If you do happen to break that record, let me know and/or give me partial credit – I like to know I occasionally inspire people to do great things.

By the way, you’ll also get plenty of practice gasping and holding your breath when you play Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming exclusively to the PlayStation 3 on April 30, 2013. This update to the former Xbox 360 game features updated HD visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, new content, DLC that extends the game’s lifespan and more. Feel free to pre-order the game now or face the fact that you may not get a copy when you really want one. I predict your breathing practice will get quite a workout because you’re not coming up for air for some time once you fire this game up.

You’ll also make Game Director and part time eye wear model Swery 65 a VERY happy man. He’ll be able to finally buy those Bootsy Collins sunglasses he’s been eyeballing on eBay or maybe even that cocktail table Ms. Pac-Man he saw at a bar here in the US when he attended this year’s GDC. Of course, he could also buy himself an airplane ticket to come shake the hands of everyone who picked up a copy of this game, but (wait for it…) don’t hold your breath…

Holding Pattern…

Status

OK, I’m NOT dead today – just waiting at home with both thumbs stuck somewhere while the cable boxes get switched out/upgraded/whatever, so that’s keeping me away from being online on a higher speed connection. MEANWHILE, my inbox is PACKED with stuff to write about and I’m getting antsy like Sinatra in The Man With The Golden Arm. Which will be a Random Film of the Week if I haven’t done it yet. OK, more waiting… Bleh. Back in a bit (Hopefully, as a ONE post day for me will, as the kids say, SUCK. Or blow (as the kids also say… damn kids…).