Humor: Get Lost (Or, You COULD Be In New Jersey)…

(thanks, sjmobb!) 

Pine BarrensI live in an area that’s not too hard to figure out if you live here and spend time walking around on a semi-regular basis. However, on occasions where people who drive here to visit friends or relatives, they often run into trouble with one particular spot where an oval splits into four different directions and streets that need to be followed to their destinations or else you end up driving in some rather oddball directions only to find yourself maybe back where you started or worse. This evening as I’m walking home, a car pulls up beside me and as the passenger side window rolls down, I know exactly what’s coming. Sure enough, a woman pops her head out the window and asks which way a certain street is because she and her husband had been driving around for a good fifteen minutes looking for the building.

Nice guy that I am, I point them in the correct direction and of course, the missus is all “See, I told you it was THAT way” while the hubby is getting a case of the “Yeah, yeahs”. As they both turn to thank me, the husband asks “I suppose people get lost around here a lot?”, to which I respond “Well, it’s not so bad here – you could be in the Pine Barrens”. I do believe the husband happened to get what I was referencing, because he burst out laughing so loudly that his wife jumped in her seat and did a double take before asking what the heck was so funny. As she closed the window back up (I’m assuming no one “rolls” a window up any longer) I waved goodbye, turned and left them alone and walked away with a smile knowing the mister would have to do some fast talking to stay out of the perceived doghouse he just cracked himself up into. Thankfully, that episode of The Sopranos is a pretty darn funny one and I’m glad someone actually got a joke I’d made without having to explain it. Victory!

Humor: Oh, You Kid: I Got Your “Prisoner” Right Here…

(thanks, santipages!) 

So, I’m walking about the other day and I pass some kids coming from school and overhear one of them saying to his friends that his mom is punishing him for some offense or another by taking away his gaming and online time at home. As I’m grinning while just ahead of them, I hear the kid say he doesn’t know why he’s being treated “like a prisoner” and IMMEDIATELY this intro came to mind. Oh, you kid… you don’t even KNOW what it’s like at all. AT ALL. Although, I’d laugh like a loon if he walked in the door to his home and a Rover was waiting to chase him right to his room away from the TV and computer. Those damn things always scared the heck out of me as a kid when I was watching the show every week and not knowing what in the world was going on, but not being able to look away.

And be glad I didn’t think of the opening theme and titles to HBO’s super NSFW show, OZ. Although, that might be more fitting under the most incorrect of circumstances. Stay in school, boys and girls… stay in school…

Three Movies. Three Minutes. Who The Hell Needs Hollywood Remakes?

I’d heard of 1A4STUDIO and their hilarious 60-second remakes of classic genre films, but only got around to watching a couple today. Yes indeed, it’s ABSOLUTELY worth your minute or three to check these out before you waste the better part of your day watching and re-watching the rest of their output on YouTube. The other movie speedruns they’ve done are also priceless, but some require you know every bit inside and out, as you’ll laugh harder when you see how some scenes are handled.

I don’t have a “favorite” yet, but this trio made me crack up the most because I’ve seen all these way too many times to count. Still, I think the Aliens clip was the most amusing to watch, but T2 below? Yeah, they nail the big action scenes perfectly in record time. I can’t wait to see these guys handle some of the more recent blockbusters for sure, but given that many ONLY have about a minute of actual plot (ha ha, but I’m not kidding either), I’m wondering if we end up seeing thirty-second speedruns sooner than later.

Random Indie Game of the Week: Paper Sorcerer

 
PaperSorcerorOkay, so I missed this one as a Kickstarter (what else is new?), but as soon as I saw this video for Ultra Runaway Games’ Paper Sorcerer, they got my five bucks just like that. As a fan of old school CRPGs like Wizardry, Dungeon Master, Daggerfall and others plus more modern takes on them such as The Dark Spire and Etrian Odyssey, this game jumped out and bit me with its stylized visuals and smooth, speedy movement. Did I mention that it’s Mac AND Linux compatible as well? I’m only about 40 minutes into it, but I actually need to STOP playing and put it aside just so I don’t get hooked in and forget that I’ve about a dozen other games I need to review or preview before I get started on a new one. Here’s a longer look at some gameplay from the developer’s YouTube page:

Yeah, I see you reaching for that wallet. Go on ahead – I’m sure Ultra Runaway won’t mind. While you can get the game on Desura and it’s in the running as a Steam Greenlight candidate, buying this DIRECTLY from Ultra Runaway assures they get more of the profit and you can also pay more than $5 if you like as well as get the game’s soundtrack for an additional $5. Support those indie developers, I say! Anyway, if you liked what you saw above, you’re already downloading this before you’ve finished reading this post. Go, YOU!

Yeah, yeah… I’ll get a review up shortly – probably within a few weeks as I whittle down my backlog of stuff glaring at me to get it done.

Wait, You’re Still Here? Mr.Moto Will Take Care Of You But Good…

(thanks, allpublicdomain!)

mr_motos_last_warning_MPI always used to crack up as a kid watching Peter Lorre jumping off stuff and onto some poor stuntman or actor as Mr. Moto, not realizing he wasn’t some very talented Asian guy, but some guy playing a very talented Asian. Yeah, not quite PC these days, but the films are still fun (and funny) to watch as Moto-san solves a murder or three, gets in some comments about people underestimating him for assorted reasons and wraps up each case with a neat little bow.

This one’s one of the later entries and not as “cool” as some of the previous films in my opinion, but still worth a look. And hey, it’s FREE, so knock it off with the “but I wanted to see something more current!” stuff and eat yer popcorn. That’s free as well when you come around here. Hey – you’re lucky I even let you in with all those shopping bags and that Black Friday grin you were wearing. You look like a possessed Cheshire Cat crossed with a tired elf!

Doctor Who Legacy: Your Absolutely Free New Diversion Is Ready…

DWL7Well, alright… I’ll give this one a thumbs up simply because it’s basically a re-skinned more RPG-like version of the excellently addictive Puzzle Quest that happens to have a Doctor Who theme, characters and enemies. Of course, it’s on iOS and Android smartphones or devices only, my current phone is “dumb” and I prefer paying outright for a full version game on a console or portable I already own.

Which means I’ll be patiently waiting (but not holding my breath) for a Vita or 3DS version to show up. In the meantime, if YOU own an iPhone or Android phone or device, you can get the game now on iTunes and Google Play NOW. Did I mention that it’s not the standard “freemium” model at all, but actually FREE to download and play? Yeah, NO stupid energy meters that run out and get you to “buy in” so you can keep going! Awesome. The dev team is doing this as a labor of love, according to the game description and you can even email them with questions, comments and suggestions as to what you like, dislike and want to see in future installments. Now, that’s pretty spectacular in this day and age, I’d say…

DWL1 DWL2 DWL3

DWL4 DWL5 DWL6

It’s PONG’s Birthday Today! What Did You Get It?

(thanks, pongmuseum!) 
What do you mean you FORGOT? Well, good thing for you it’s Black Friday, huh? Yeah, you just got back in from 12 hours of spending too much money you don’t have, but I say you need to get your leftover turkey eating behind BACK outside and work off some more calories before you’re tempted by the fridge to open it up and dive into that cold stuffing (again!). What should you buy PONG? Oh, use your imagination, people. Just don’t go writing any songs, now. That’s already been done and done so well that it’s the final word on this irrefutable classic. Eh, you’ll figure something out – just stay away from linens and towels as a gift choice, as they tend to be marked up during this time of year just to lure you into thinking you’re getting a good deal with that $2 coffeemaker and $50 TV you bought earlier…

If You’re Here, You Need Something To Do. So You Get A Free Movie!

(thanks, allpublicdomain!) 

scream in the night MPHey, I didn’t say it would be an Oscar-winner, now. It’s 1935’s “Scream in the Night” featuring Lon Chaney, Jr. and a bunch of other actors you probably won’t know unless you’re old or watch way too many films from the early part of the last century. I’ve never seen this one myself (or more precisely, I can’t recall seeing it, but I may have many moons back), so your guess is as good as mine as to its overall quality.

I figure not EVERYONE is passed out in front of the tube watching football or not in America celebrating Thanksgiving or Chanukah, so if you’re here, thanks for stopping by. Now go do something more interesting today than poke around here! Unless you REALLY want to. In that case, I’ll make you do the dishes or something later. Hmph – let me see what’s in the freezer now that you’re sticking around for dinner…

That’s Right. Popeye Was A “Time Lord” Before The Good Doctor!

(thanks, cartunes1000!)

And he had a kind of cooler and stranger time machine, too! Yeah, you learn something new every day, kids. Granted, that’s also what you call “VERY desperately running out of ideas” in Cartoonland speak, so although this episode is hilarious (you HAVE to love how that “time machine” works), it’s clear that Elzie Crisler Segar was spinning in his grave when this 1960 cartoon popped up on the tube wherever he ended up when he passed on in 1934. Anyway, enjoy and yeah… you KNOW you want that Picasso/Dali-esque clock thing in YOUR living room.

It’s Evacuation Day! What The Heck Are YOU Doing At Work, America?

(thanks DestructionMode!) 
Okay, so only a handful of states actually celebrate this now obscure holiday, but I find it amusing that more states and workers aren’t using this to get that one more day off in a week where pretty much nothing gets done save for people gear up to get the hell out of Dodge and go driving tens to hundreds of miles just to stuff themselves full of food that will make them sleepy before they get back IN those vehicles to head out and spend all their money shopping for a lot of people they really don’t like all that much (i.e. family members). OK, so I’m a little and intentionally cynical during this time of the year up to THAT time of the year. But that’s because it’s when you see what I like to call “hypocrisy inaction” where people rant about the old ways being trampled while they themselves can’t force themselves to pass up on that nineteen dollar boombox or two buck sandwich maker that will burn up anything that’s placed between it.

There are a few other things that bug me about this time of year, but I won’t “rant” about them here because I think nearly everyone has their own holiday horrors or knows people that become a bit TOO cheery to be around as if they’re in some Bizarro world where teddy bears, lousy sweaters, fruit cakes and happy-happy joy-joy greetings 24-7 are their marching orders. And. They. Just. Won’t. STOP. Hmmm… that’s practically a Doctor Who episode if it hasn’t been done already. Alright, shutting up now – just ignore me and get back to buying that Butterball and reading up on the pre-pre-pre Black Friday deals you’ll be pissed off at because as soon as you buy something, the price drops elsewhere and you feel like a sucker. Again…