The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III: Three’s Company For The Long Haul

Posted on May 23, 2015 by geelw

So. The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III is out and yes, you SHOULD buy and play it if you like action/RPG’s with a sense of humor (and optional gore), loads of random loot drops and probably closure as NeoCore Games finishes up its trilogy. That said… oh, for the days of the retail review disc arriving in the mail! While 20GB may not seem like a huge file to download in this era of “everyone” having a high speed connection, the best I can do around here is roughly 11 to 36 mbps. And that’s WITH connections dropping out from time to time adding more time to the download. 11 hours to download a game (which would be closer to 5 or 6 if the speed is consistent and there aren’t any connection drops) is way too long for me and while I’m not impatient, I have no idea how people put up with this sort of thing with larger game files.

Yeah, yeah, it’s something we’ve “gotten used to” as the digital age has beat retail over the head senselessly as a “superior” option. But for folks like me who fail to see the speed difference when having a disc means you get into those games you want FASTER and with only any day one (or later) patches to download, this digital divide is more “haves” versus “have nots” stuff I see some game companies no longer addressing. Boo. But hell, I won’t take this minor annoyance out on NeoCore games and all their hard work at all. Although it WOULD be cool to see them get their trilogy out on consoles at some point so even MORE people could enjoy it. Eh, we’ll see. In between the ongoing strife here I need to fit my Sunday around getting this game onto a hard drive here, so it’s an early night for this old fart. Back in a bit.

Catlateral Damage Gets The Best Press Release of 2015 (So Far)

Posted on May 20, 2015 by geelw

Yeah, yeah. Posting press releases verbatim is LAZY and should be avoided at all costs (even though it costs no sense to do). But once in a while you get one that cracks you up and requires sharing because the product being shilled was fun enough to inspire a PR person to just do something so obvious that it works despite being awfully corny.

Of course, if you call a cat “corny” it will either ignore you and go take a nap or climb your leg like a lumberjack escaping from a starving bear up a very tall and sturdy tree. Anyway, video to roll and press release to read below, meow.

For Immediate Release

Catbridge, MA, May, 18, 2015 – Mew meow CATLATERAL DAMAGE meow meow-ow Steam mew OUYA! Meow-ow mew mrow meow mew meow mew meow mew mew meow-ow, mew mew meow mrow mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew mrow meow meow! Mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew meow mrow mrow meow-ow mew mew mew. Meow-ow mew, meow meow mew meow mew mrow mew mew meow-ow mew mew meow.

Meow-ow mew meow meow Wed May 27th mew meow mew meow mew mew meow-ow, mew mew mrow mrow mew meow meow-ow meow mew meow meow! Mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew meow meow-ow mew mew mew mrow. Meow-ow mew, meow meow mew meow mew meow mew mew meow-ow mew mew meow. Purrrr… Meow raaarowwww meow.

Me-meow mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew catlateraldamage.com!

And yes indeed you need this game just because your cat will knock you out of bed if you don’t buy it and let it play or watch you play while it naps. Cats can see in their sleep. Or so I’ve heard. On the other paw, If you own a dog you know it could care less about this game because it’s trying to figure out how to start up the car, drive to the store and buy some steaks with your credit card. Like that old Talking Heads song goes “Animals think… they’re pretty smart…”

The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III: 2015, Meet 1999? That Works For Me

Posted on May 18, 2015 by geelw

Like a worn pair of favorite jeans you’ve had in your possession for years or a good leather jacket, NeoCore Games‘ throwback action/RPG The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing has been one of those reliable standbys that feels as it’s been around a great deal longer than it actually has. This is actually a good thing, mind you. NeoCore’s click and slash series is up to its third installment which is coming to Steam on May 22nd, so here’s a look at what to expect with that set of tease-packed videos above.

Diehard players who still have a death grip on their older Windows XP-powered computers will be glad to see as with the other two installments, Van Helsing III will run on their creaky old systems. Neocore doesn’t own them that at all, mind you. But it’s great to see a developer not ditch those players who bought that first game at all and continue to support them with all three parts of the series working on what they currently own. While the ability to use an Xbox 360 controller to play the game was a patched in addition to Van Helsing II, the game is still superior with the standard keyboard/mouse setup.

The mix of action, horror and humor elements is something that sets the game apart from the more deadly serious to much sillier Diablo-style games on the market, as is NeoCore’s attention to more “realistic” detailed environments. Granted, the mix of steampunk, classic monsters (werewolves, vampires and such) and other fantasy bits keeps things fresh throughout. One thing the game will need to be is extremely optimized and as good as can be at launch. VHII had some pesky launch issues that were resolved over time but probably soured a few gamers who tried it out and found it lacking in some areas. From what I’m seeing so far it seems that the third time’s the charm. We’ll find out in four more days.

PONCHO Hands-On: A Beautiful Trip, 3 Layers of Parallax at a Time

Posted on May 16, 2015 by geelw

I saw screens of PONCHO a while back and bookmarked the page, but my recent computer woes knocked the game off my radar until the magical unicorn named David Bruno hit me over the head with some more screens and a preview code. If you have a Steam account, a PS4, Vita or Wii U, love platformers and puzzle games of any type and have an appreciation for all things “retro”… well, you need this game, period.

PONCHO is an open world puzzle game from Delve Interactive that features a cute robot (who just so happens to be wearing a poncho) who sets out to find his creator. Robots require that sort of closure, you know. What makes the game unique is not just the lovely sprite graphics and eye-popping color work, but the three layers of parallax scrolling Poncho can move through as he explores. While some online wags have made Fez comparisons, the games only share mascot-ready main characters and the ability to travel through environments in abnormal ways.

Granted, there have been a handful of games where hopping back and forth between planes was key to gameplay. Treasure’s Yū Yū Hakusho: Makyō Tōitsusen for the Sega Mega Drive and Guardian Heroes on the Saturn used multiple planes for their gameplay and Cobra team’s Bastard!! Ankoku No Hakai Shin for the Super Famicom featured characters that needed to be rotated from foreground to background as a major part of the gameplay. That said, those were all fighting game variants while PONCHO is focused on exploration and puzzles of assorted varieties.

As you can see in the videos above, the game looks phenomenal and the transitions between layers is flawless. Some quick hands-on time reveals it’s got the looks and play going for it and fans of old school/new school blends will be smiling for as long as they have their hands on a controller. There’s a slower, more languid pace to PONCHO that’s welcome in this twitch-heavy gaming age, but those timed sections will certainly keep you on your toes. Anyway, I’ll shut up for now other than to say that Rising Star Games has another winner on its hands and PONCHO will be one for the ages when it all comes together for its June release. Back with more in a bit – I have a little robot calling me to play with it. Er, find its creator I mean!

High Strangeness: What A Way To End A Week!

Posted on May 8, 2015 by geelw

While it’s also available on PC via Steam, High Strangeness makes for a more interesting experience on the Wii U thanks to the whole “retro” vibe it gives off. Barnyard Intelligence Games‘ “12-bit” action/adventure is so far one of those games that is pretty amusing, weird as heck and fun to play. However, I’m hoping it can sustain those high notes until the ending as sometimes nifty ideas and amusing dialog can’t keep some games out of trouble in their latter portions when both run out of gas and things coast to a cliff edge. We shall see come review time next week, but for now it’s a recommended title on a console going through some ups and downs of late.

Project CARS Full Rides List: Your Car Is Ready (Almost!)

Posted on May 1, 2015 by geelw

As soon as I saw this list, I started rubbing my hands together a wee bit too much and eventually set fire to my laptop’s keyboard. Ouch. It’s a good thing I was drooling at the same time because that put the fire out. Memo to self: I need a new smoke alarm for the house. Well, better a new laptop needed than a new lap, as laps can’t be transplanted last I checked. Project CARS will be rolling into retail and digital in North America for PC on May 7, 2015 and for PS4/Xbox One on May 12. Steam OS and Wii U versions will arrive later this year.

Anyway, get ready to race soon in the following cars once the game is out: Continue reading →

Schrödinger’s Cat and the Raiders of the Lost Quark: Buy It For The Title Alone, I Say

Posted on April 29, 2015 by geelw

A game with a name like Schrödinger’s Cat and the Raiders of the Lost Quark just SCREAMS out “Shut up and BUY me, Meow!”* and even if it’s the crappiest game with Schrödinger’s Cat in the title, it’s probably still more than worth the $14.99 asking price on Steam because it’s probably better than you’re thinking. Yeah, this logic puzzle of a post has been brought to you by Wednesday because it’s not yet Thursday and by Friday you’d have moved on to something like “Hey, what’s for dinner two weeks from next Monday?” or something like that.

Developer Italic Pig seems to have done their homework here as the game looks nice and amusing and yes, a bit of quantum physics come into play as they usually do when you have a cat who may or may not be very dead or very alive. The Particle Zoo is in chaos with Leptons, Gluons and Bosons all running amuck and only ONE cat can tackle the problem in his interestingly quark-y manner. Of course, it’s a sure bet that most people won’t appreciate the humor in this one unless they’re ready to do some reading or already know what’s up with the figgy Newton-ness of a clever developer doing it’s thing. Hmmm. I wonder if the dev team gave that cat nine lives, one or none for the entire game?

*(of course, if the cat is dead, this game doesn’t exist and renders this post completely null and void. The cat was alive when watched the trailer three times, so it’s a safe bet the game is real as well).

IndieGala Hump Day Bundle: Your Camel Will Not Work Today If It Reads This Post

Posted on April 29, 2015 by geelw

It’s probably a good thing that camels don’t play videogames for a few reasons. For one thing, that would just be too weird a sight. I’d also imagine monkeys and any other non-human animals with opposable thumbs would be REALLY pissed off. Finally, if they had any work to do today, they’d not get anything at all done because they’d all be downloading today’s IndieGala Hump Day Bundle before camping out at home to play some games. Do yourself a huge favor and keep the camels offline by buying up a bunch of these bundles and gifting them around. Pay a buck for three games or pay $2.89 for thirteen games, your choice.

There’s an odd mix of first-person puzzle games, family entertainment studio stuff, a bit of horror and even some platforming with samurai kitties and a 3D brawler tossed in for good measure. Um, you’re NOT showing this post to your camel, correct?

Anyway, stop reading and start downloading. Well, once you pay up, of course. Just send the camel to the furthest store with a big bill, tell it to buy something for itself with the change and you’re good for at least a few hours. Camels tend to get a bit confused when shopping for themselves (well, that’s what I’ve read).

DiRT Rally: Codemasters Kicks It Old School In Its Early Access Racer

Posted on April 27, 2015 by geelw

Awesome. I haven’t even played DiRT Rally yet but I already know it’s going to make a LOT of rally fans very happy. No crazy Gymkhana mode, no “celebrity” drivers, ALL rally all the time and with more realistic controls and car damage? Sign me up, stat! I checked out the Steam page for the game just now and the overwhelming positive response to the game even in its early access state is so positive that it seems Codemasters has gone and made people who are completely new to rally games appreciate the intensity and high difficulty curve (pun intended) not seen in years from the series.

Of course, Codemasters surprised plenty of folks by announcing the game was out now (again, as a work in progress). So I’m betting they’re using all that early feedback to make it a lot better before (hopefully) announcing some console versions. As long as the final version is pure rally and isn’t packing any X-Games style nonsense, I’m in for the long haul.

Project CARS Update: Three Out Of Four Isn’t Bad, Unless You Only Want One

Posted on April 25, 2015 by geelw

Ha. So Project CARS has gone gold and is coming out on my birthday… at least for PC, PS4 and Xbox One owners. For some reason, the Wii U version has dropped off the radar in North America and I was worried that it was being silently killed off. However, thanks to Bandai Namco Europe posting these newer trailers that at least note the Wii U actually exists, my hope meter just coughed back to life. Of course, a careful eyeball or two will see that there’s no box art for the Nintendo version at the end of those trailers. That could be due to the game being a download only eShop title (he noted hopefully). I guess I could bug someone at Slightly Mad Studios to see what’s going on or even one of my PR contacts at Bandai namco here in the US. But I’ll hold off on that and just stay focused on more urgent matters.

Of course, if it IS a download only game there’s the distinct possibility that the game will be larger than the insane 15GB One Piece Unlimited World Red was. Eeek. Given that the only two hard drive sizes for the Wii U are 8GB ad 32GB, I’m predicting a lot of 64GB SD card sales should the Wii U version ever get a release. Well, I’ll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best, as it seems no news isn’t exactly good news when it comes to some games these days. Delays don’t bother me at all, mind you. It’s just hearing nothing and seeing less that gets me fretting away.