Carrie “Get In Your Closet” Clip: Oh, We’ve ALL Been There Before, Right?

Posted on October 7, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, so… who HASN’T had to “go to the closet” at some point in their lives? Poor Carrie above only has those telekinetic powers and a nutso mommy to worry about. I know us folks in the real world need to toss ourselves in and shut the door for a while when we pull off those major boners and need a time out while the walls fall in. Say, did you know a nice clean closet with a few blankets tossed on the floor and lots of long coats and shirts and such makes a PERFECT nap spot? Bill collectors, pissed off parents and anyone else can look up and down and all around for you but that’s THE last place they’ll ever, ever look. Of course, if you have a pet at home, you’re screwed plus tax, as those cute little bums will always sniff you out. Hell, you could have the most stoned out, never ever fetched a darn thing in its life lazy ass Scooby-Don’t as a pet and as soon as you get into that closet, he’s nosing open the door to lay on top of those blankets you’re under. Bad dog! BAD!

Um, oh yeah… Carrie is in theaters October 18. I can’t see it because I have no movie theater near me now. Maybe I’ll go take a nap in the closet instead…

Carrie “Unique” TV Spot: Well, If It Weren’t a Remake… It Sure Would Be.

Posted on September 26, 2013 by geelw

Har de har. OK, it may be a darn good remake and all, but I still think Brian DePalma’s version will be the go-to version of Carrie I’ll always prefer for a few reasons. Sure, this new version has Chloe Grace Moretz and Julianne Moore in it as leads, but I can’t see Julianne saying “dirtypillows” without a snicker starting (and the fact that we’ve all see her dirtypillows in a few films, hee hee hee! Hooray for indie films!). Oh, rats… now that’s got me going and the Booby Express song is playing in the background (and too LOUD at that!). Argh! This is SUPPOSED to be a “serious” post! Oh well… done in once more. *Sigh*…

Random Film of the Week: The Man With the Golden Arm

Posted on September 2, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, OMP Drama!)

Sure, drug addiction isn’t a laughing matter at all, but Otto Preminger’s 1955 classic The Man With the Golden Arm manages to be more hilarious each time I see it for a few reasons. Although it’s packing in a classic Elmer Bernstein score, a great Saul Bass title sequence, Preminger’s strong direction, some powerful performances from Frank (One Take) Sinatra, Kim Novak, and a bunch of very familiar faces, the simple fact is the film hasn’t aged well at all (but that’s a good thing).

What may have been seen as a deathly serious subject for a cautionary tale almost 60 years ago can now be enjoyed as a nearly non-stop riot of scenery chewing performance art with two of the funniest demises in a “serious” film. Granted, if you’re in a totally unfunny mood, the film still has its story and dramatic pacing to keep you hooked in. On the other hand, it’s hard not to get in a laugh at the film’s expense in a few spots…

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Humor: Having A Song Stuck in Your Head Is Bad Enough…

Posted on August 29, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, Jason Turner!)

… but a song AND the crazy dance number to go with it? Yeah, it happens to the best of us (meaning me), so I’m sharing this clip and hope it happens to YOU (and sooner than later at that). For those of you who know “Me Ole Bamboo” from 1968’s Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, feel free to sing along, but don’t even try that cane dancing in this video because you know you’ll break something (in your body and wherever you’re watching this). Memo to the kids: Dick Van Dyke was 44 when he did this (ouch), it took 27 takes and from what I understand, being a beat behind the other (much younger dancers) at the beginning made this routine even tougher. Hell, I have trouble getting the heck out of bed some mornings, but this may help in making me leap up instead of drag out. OK, get to it with the stretches, people – I want you all doing this bit in your sleep within the week. If anything, it’ll take care of that “restless leg” thing once and for all…

Random Film of the Week: Kiss Me Deadly (1955)

Posted on August 9, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, criterioncollection!)

If you’ve never seen this Robert Aldrich-produced and directed film noir masterpiece, drop what you’re doing (well, unless you’re operating heavy machinery or in the middle of something where dropping anything will cause a major or minor disaster) and go look this one up. You’re guaranteed to say something like “What the…” at least two or three (or a dozen) times while watching this one, trust me. Mike Hammer is supposed to be a hard as nails private eye, but in this flick, he spends about a quarter of the film either getting chased, beaten up, shot at and otherwise maimed by assorted people who want him out of the picture he’s supposed to be starring in.

Deviating quite dramatically from the Mickey Spillane novel, this one’s a blazing hot mix of a downward spiral into a particularly dark hell for private eye Mike Hammer (masterfully played by Ralph Meeker), who has so many brushes with death here that the film ends up having a nasty comic edge thanks to the level of violence on display. No one here escapes unscathed, as everyone either wants Hammer dead or disabled (or both) and the few people on his side tend to drop like flies or come pretty close to it. The film also offers up a big twist at the end that turns it into a sort of wild sci-fi flick, but I won’t spoil that surprise other than to say it’s a big reason the film is so insanely brilliant…

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Random Film of the Week(end): Mr. Majestyk

Posted on July 14, 2013 by geelw

Goofy name of its main character aside, thanks to a snappy Elmore Leonard script, solid direction from Richard Fleisher and some enjoyable performances from its cast, you can’t not love Charles Bronson as a hard-nosed yet quiet Vietnam veteran turned single-minded melon farmer who simply wants to get his crop in while some people want him deceased for a few too amusing reasons.

The poor guy just wants to hire his labor from an eager pool of migrant workers of mostly Mexican descent, but a local hick/thug named Kopas tries to force his more local drunkard/bum laborers on Majestyk’s melon farm with the usual threats. Of course, Majestyk isn’t having any of this (just the thought of drunks picking melons is amazingly amusing), so his military training gets put to use, some asses are kicked and the former future vagrants and their “boss” get sent packing. The man’s got melons to pick and all fools are suffered VERY lightly…

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Random Film of the Week(end) – (Summer Edition!): Ball of Fire

Posted on June 22, 2013 by geelw

(thank you, Victor Creed!)

Imagine this as a movie idea today: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs with Snow being an extremely talented exotic dancer type and those dwarfs a bunch of stuffy but eager to learn elderly eggheads she ends up hanging out with to teach them all the things they didn’t know. Once you get your eyeballs above the obvious jiggle-tease material and plentiful opportunities for modern day humor sixteen writers working together come up with, the results would probably be pretty darn terrible.

I can see the trailer now: two minutes, thirty eight or so of slow-mo cleavage shots and some special guest cameo coot rattling off one-liners, plus someone getting hit in the nether regions with a golf, basket or other ball, maybe a nice pratfall, a fart joke, a fat girl joke and some annoying music on that soundtrack that doesn’t even fit. Yeah, that’s not a movie I’d want to see at all. Fortunately, Howard Hawks’ 1941 film Ball of Fire takes the Snow White and thanks to a wonderfully funny and sassy Barbara Stanwyck helping loosen up those old guys (and an even stuffier Gary Cooper), a great script and plenty of screwball humor, it still holds up today as a total riot.

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Random Film of the Week: The Magic Sword

Posted on June 13, 2013 by geelw

(Thanks, Alistair Knight!)

Us-ually, I like to write up these RFotW posts alone, as I sometimes rely on memory and a re-viewing of a film to do some precision pre and post watching-progression in a few notes before writing. That said, I actually hadn’t planned on writing up The Magic Sword at all, but I was dropping off a loaner game at a friend’s, he happened to let me know that the movie was coming on TCM in about twenty four minutes and asked if I wanted to hang out and watch it.

My eyebrow went up, as I’m quite a busy guy this week… but I can be bribed under the proper circumstances (usually with food). “Toss in a pizza for two as a bonus for the pleasure of my company and we’re on”, I gently “suggest”. Hey, I’m no fool and double hey, he owes me a favor anyway, so it’s a deal.

A call was made, no anchovies were laid and thankfully, that pie was here exactly two minutes before the film started. I hadn’t seen it for a number of years, so I figured “what the hell!” as it would be interesting to see what happens when I sit down with an audience (hey, an extra person is an audience to me!) to catch something I’m usually trying to concentrate on alone for later article-worthy purposes. Ah, the best-laid plans of mice and men (and Bemis) get steamrolled into heckle-filled hilarity as the film in question wasn’t quite as good in some aspects as remembered… Continue reading →

Playing With The Girls: Carrie Poster Makeover Adds Back A Little Suspense…

Posted on June 10, 2013 by geelw

OK, I was bored last night poking around the internet for E3 news and such, so when I happened to see this new Carrie poster, I had to chuckle a bit because it was a case of a little too much TMI in having the tagline AND title on the same ad. So, a quick MS Paint edit and voila! – you get at least a tiny bit of suspense back in a film that pretty much gives it all away in the poster and trailer anyway (just like the original did).

Hey, it only took me about 30 seconds to do this, so it’s not like I really did anything amazing… OK, back to actual work!

Random Film of the Week (Fore!): The Beast Within

Posted on May 30, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, Deathdealeus1984!)

the beast within 1 Since we’re in the 17-year cycle of cicada “season” (and not a one has popped up around here thanks to it being too cold AND the fact that all that deep digging heavy landscaping work in the area over the past two plus years has probably mashed a few hundred million eggs but good), I figured I’d reminisce about this rather wild 1982 horror flick that’s either really good or really awful depending on your tastes. I paid to see The Beast Within on its initial release and along with a few friends, ended up sitting in a coffee shop afterward discussing how underwhelmed, amused and bored we were by this so-called shocker.

That “BEWARE” or “WARNING!” in big letters on the posters is kind of right at least in one way – this is one worth watching only if you realize that it’s not quite all it’s cracked up to be and relies on one good effect sequence dragged out a wee bit too long. Granted, the revolutionary effects work in the that transformation sequence makes for the best part of the film. But having to sit through the draggy bits and broken storytelling might put you to sleep before you get to the best stuff it has to offer… Continue reading →