Aha, so that’s how they’re doing things over there. Cool. I love all of these reworked trailers and the nice slice of theme music below, so good on you, Toho for fully embracing this reboot with open arms and getting Godzilla fans in the place he was born just as thrilled as folks here.
Godzilla opens in North America on May 16, 2014. When does it open in Japan? Um… it’s in one of those trailers above, right?
Yeah, you’ve probably figured that out as well, but just in case you have yet to for some strange reason, there it is in plain English. Some of you will no doubt want to stop and take a selfie or something stupid like that before you make with the light jogging stuff, but I say go right on ahead. No one will miss you that much once you’re stomped flat other than the people who are used to you jamming a camera at them to snap away or being a photo-bombing pest they’re actually sad to see gone because they never got any work done when you were snapping away. Anyway, May 16, 2014 at a theater near you. Bring a hardhat (just in case) and maybe a first aid kit (just in case).
Ah, the plot thickens… I’m sure some will be growling and screaming that this trailer “gives away too much”, but given that some have been SO skeptical that a western-made Godzilla would be once again, “crap on a stick” have been proven wrong, I say shut it and enjoy the longer peek at what’s going to pack them into the seats in just over a month. The big guy is back and probably louder than bombs this time out. That and hell, unless you’re reading Empire magazine or looking at comic or toy blogs, you REALLY haven’t seen all of Godzilla yet. Good going, WB and Legendary Pictures!
As noted above, it indeed does Depend on the person who decides to fight that big radioactive beastie and whether of not he or she’s got some adult diapers packed in that backpack when they go leaping out of a plane or other assault vehicle with intent on their faces (and the possibility of poop in their pants). Me, I’d be finding the fastest way out of town and double-timing it over some kids, puppies and grannies in the process. Hey, SOMEONE needs to write about surviving that hell and I’m not going to play the Raymond Burr part of Steve Martin from the 1956 US version of the original Gojira. When I sign off, it’ll be from the comfort of a faraway location and there won’t be any building falling on my head either. Yes, I’m basically the Dr. Zachary Smith* of bloggers, but at least I’m honest about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look up some proper hiding places that are new Godzilla proof!
*(Well, Dr. Smith after the first few episodes of Lost in Space when he transformed from an actual creepy threat into full-on comic relief mode. The man must have been hit on the head or something during a Jupiter 2 crash!)
Alright, you big radioactive lizard, that’s it. We’re ONLY at what, the THIRD new TV ad and it’s already a “nothing stops it, not even the bomb!” moment? Well, okay then. I guess that’s a good thing, right? Although I’d have personally preferred a gag clip insert of Slim Pickens riding that H-bomb down to glory from Dr. Strangelove to no effect (this time) just to get people who remember that film chuckling and those who’ve never seen it (but need to) wondering where the hell that scene came from. Yaaaa-hooooo! Anyway, Godzilla opens here in the US on May 16, 2014.
Of course, the ultimate in-joke is being IN a theater watching Godzilla when there’s a Godzilla-like event that suddenly happens outside (eek). What with all these natural and man-made disasters taking place on a seemingly regular scale, I think I may hold out on seeing this in a theater after all. I’d probably be the first one out the door to run screaming down the street into a manhole or newly opened fault line break anyway (which would make it into the inevitable Hollywood movie that pops up about whatever event takes place because SOME people never believe the news or what’s in a work of non-fiction until they see it recreated with actors they “know”. Now, hmmmm… who’s going to play me in that disaster flick? I’ll take some ideas now in case I’m not around to see the profits from the movie…
Me, I’ll be hoofing it like hell to some high ground or way out of town while you’re down at getting stomped upon level doing semaphore with a traffic cone on each arm hoping the big guy can decipher them and not crack up before he puts a foot on your head. I bet that zombie apocalypse bag you have in the hall closet has nothing useful against Godzilla at all unless you thought of making CHOKING HAZARD T-shirts and that monster can read. Which gos back to the sense of humor thing, mind you. What DOES Godzilla find funny these days? Inquiring minds want to know!
Nope, if you DON’T go to the movies, RoboCop won’t roll up and drag you by the collar to the nearest theater and plant you in a seat with no popcorn. Nope, you’ll just have to live without that embarrassment, people. However, if the film is worth seeing and you miss it, you’ll have to deal with those pals of yours yakking on and on about it until you crack an break out that wallet for your own ticket. Of course, those noise-canceling headphones people seem crazy about just may be your new best friends for a few weeks if you’re holding out for that home video release. Just nod and smile when people talk to you and it’s going to be alright.
Of course, you may end up joining the army, a cult, suddenly getting married or even become part of a robbery team RoboCop has to break up if you go about your days nodding and smiling at everything, so don’t rely TOO much on those headphones…
(Thanks, DEATHTRAP TRAILERS!)
Depending on your frame of mind, The Boys From Brazil will either creep you out of make you laugh a wee bit too much. It will do both if you’re somewhere in the middle on the mental front (or are a first time viewer), but I’ll leave you to let this one settle where it lands. Franklin J. Schaffner’s signature directorial style is on full display here as this semi sci-fi/dramal/horror flick does its thing with some interesting casting choices, dialog ripe with amusing yet nasty situations and a number of creative demises for a few characters.
Granted, the subject matter is a bit touchy to some, what with the book and film positing real-life Nazi war criminal Dr. Josef Mengele (Gregory Peck!) as alive and kicking and still working on a pretty outlandish experiment that involves almost a hundred little Hitlers. But the film pulls you in right from the start and keeps you watching as the bad, mad doctor’s plans slowly but surely come to fruition. Well, sort of…
I’m still on the “jury’s out” side when it comes to this not quite sequel coming out. So many movies and TV shows have copied the green screen slo-mo technique and color palette of 300 that this film outdoing the first one in terms up upping the chaos is almost too amusing to see working so well. Granted, those who loved 300 will love this as well, but I don’t expect the pickier historians out there to be so kind to this follow up. I’m in the process of going through the first movie again this week (I haven’t seen it in a few years) and I actually thought it was longer than it actually is. I think I digitally inserted scenes from that Spartacus series randomly in my head as I was watching or something. Eh, whatever – we’ll see what this does at the box office soon enough before it makes the short four to six month trip to Blu-Ray/DVD like everything else does…
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 