Ro, No You Didn’t NBC… But I’ll Try To Keep An Open Mind…

Ro-NO-you-dont-NBC 
So… this is actually happening and let’s just say my skin is crawling (and NOT from fear). Granted, the cast seems solid and veteran TV director Angiezka Holland is an excellent choice (her work on AMC’s The Killing, HBO’s The Wire and other shows shows she’s a master at her craft), but the original film is so (and still) perfect at what it does that even the best intended reworking will fall short by comparison. I may catch this when it runs, but why the hell is it playing on Mother’s Day? Yeah, I get the inherent humor here, but ha-ha, I know some people won’t like the idea of this being a way to end an otherwise fine holiday. Eh, my mom will probably watch it just because she was around to see the Polanski classic and I think she liked it a lot.

(Yeah, it LOOKS creepy… but sadly, by network standards ONLY) 

The mini-series format and network not cable airing bugs me as well, but given that network TV has been approaching mild levels of cable-like content for a while now, I’m sure that this will deliver where it counts. That said, I definitely don’t like some saying this isn’t a remake because of the Parisian setting and whatever else has been changed from the book and original film. Zoe Saldana’s got a similarly skinny frame and has a variation on the haircut Mia Farrow had, it’s still the same plot (despite a few changes here and there) and if they show the baby in this one, it’ll destroy the ending of the film because it ruins the mystery completely of what the spawn of the devil would look like. That and you can’t top the dream sequence from Polanski’s classic one bit.

As noted in the title, I’ll try to keep an open mind, but there are a few strikes against this one already for me. Hopefully, the cast and director can save this one enough that even the more ardent fans will want to check it out. I’d imagine though, if it DOES do well, we’ll either see NBC trot it out yearly (eek) or get a sequel fast-tracked for next year (double eek). That idea didn’t do well for the original film at ALL, by the way…

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Assault Suit Leynos To Get PS4 Remake (Or: Target WORTH!)

LEYNOS_PS4 
Well, alright! I’ve never heard of Japanese developer Dracue Software, but they certainly made a name for themselves at this year’s BitSummit in Japan by announcing they’re working on a remake of the classic Sega Mega Drive game Assault Suit Leynos. The game, known in the US as Target Earth, will be a PlayStation 4 exclusive (at least for now, but I hope a Vita version is in the pipeline). The only thing up media-wise other than the game site is this teaser trailer that’s all footage from the original with the reveal that the new game is PS4-bound:

Yep, it’s a buy whenever it’s done and hopefully won’t be either a download-only game that gets buried on PSN with little fanfare outside its home country or worse, play like the Assault Suits Valken “remake” for the Japanese PS2. THAT game was based on the Super Nintendo-only sequel to Leynos (called Cybernator here in the States) and the PS2 version was just a chore to play effectively thanks to cumbersome controls and pretty accurate enemy shooting. My hopes are for the best, as Leynos was and is a great game to play through multiple times. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the soundtrack stays the same as the original game or isn’t remixed and/or fiddled with too much. Eh, we’ll see… I have faith in Dracue to not screw this one up…

RoboCop Update: Wednesday’s The Day. “Stay Out of Trouble!”

 
Nope, if you DON’T go to the movies, RoboCop won’t roll up and drag you by the collar to the nearest theater and plant you in a seat with no popcorn. Nope, you’ll just have to live without that embarrassment, people. However, if the film is worth seeing and you miss it, you’ll have to deal with those pals of yours yakking on and on about it until you crack an break out that wallet for your own ticket. Of course, those noise-canceling headphones people seem crazy about just may be your new best friends for a few weeks if you’re holding out for that home video release. Just nod and smile when people talk to you and it’s going to be alright.

 
Of course, you may end up joining the army, a cult, suddenly getting married or even become part of a robbery team RoboCop has to break up if you go about your days nodding and smiling at everything, so don’t rely TOO much on those headphones…

RoboCop “Man and Machine” 1 & 2 (Or: Oh Man, What A Machine!): Get Me Rewrite Edition!

 
Aha. I see what happened! I accidentally overwrote this post somehow thanks to having TWO “Add New Post” tabs open, using one to post these trailers, closing up shop for the night and restating today to use that second window. WordPress recognizes multiple windows open as the SAME post, so if you try to be slick and do multiple posts in different tabs, you’re going to simply overwrite the first post as you think you’re publishing NEW ones. Blargh. I haven’t done that in a while, so I’ll need to NOT do that again. (gives self Vulcan memory pinch): “REMEMBER.” Any-way, here we go again (and I HATE rewriting stuff, so it’s a bit different this time:

 
As you can see, there’s a new shiny metal sheriff coming to town, so you’ll want to be extra good while hoping this film is as well. I think it’ll do well on its own merits, but you know some of the die-hard who want that R-rating will be going after this one for anything they see as not as good as the original. On that note, I say as long as you guys cling to that classic, it’ll live on forever. But don’t poop on this reboots’ parade if it manages to get stuff right and isn’t a bad film at the end of the day. Granted, it’s going to be headed to home video in what, four to six months from now and possibly hit cable before the end of the year, right? So you can see this without paying that ticket price. I guess if you average in whatever you pay for cable or whatever streaming service you use, you’ll be buying this for LESS than a dollar soon enough. Ha and ha ha.

 
Meh – I like the old post better, but this will have to do. At least I dug up a third clip I just noticed while recovering the other two. The FUNNY thing is I had a tab with the old post in it open, but closed it, so I could have copied and pasted the darn thing if I’d caught the error! Ah well… Love me, love my dumb mistakes!

RoboCop Update: “Crime” Doesn’t Pay, But A Good Reboot Will…

Under two weeks to go before the RoboCop reboot rolls into theaters and I think it’ll hold its own against the original at least as far as the story goes. Granted, I don’t think that the film is even trying to copy anything directly from the original, so some die-hards will slam it for that. I’ll take it in as a new start and see what happens, as I usually do with these remakes/reboots. Of course, if the film falls into the “too much CG, pointless plot” trap other franchise friendly films frequently fall into, then I break out the knives (which I bought for a dollar, by the way. Seriously, the dollar store nearby sells kitchen knives starting at a dollar) and start chopping away.

Random Film of the Week(end): Planet of the Apes (2001)

POTA_MPThanks to reports from around the internet and a few periodicals about all sorts of problems during the pre-production phase and more issues during the rather speedy shooting schedule to meet a July release imposed by 20th Century Fox, I certainly didn’t want to see the otherwise reliable Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes remake, but my mother sure did.

I was camping out at her place during that summer after a breakup and on the day the film opened, she pretty much rolled up on me and said we were going to the movies, so off we went. The funny thing was 33 years earlier, she took me, my older brother and sister to see the original film (my first movie experience), so I guess she was trying to jog my memory a bit out of the funk mode it was in. Well, that worked to a point as we both ended up not liking this remake much at all.

Of course, I ended up heading back to that theater a few days later to make sure I was sure I didn’t like the film… Continue reading

Clip Joint: ROBOCOP (Give It Away, Give It Away, Give It Away…)

 
So, the clips are rolling out and some would say “spoiling” this reboot, but I don’t quite think so. In fact, I think they go a long way in showing the film is going to be better than some jaded online wags have been saying. Granted, the original is hard to top on a few KEY fronts, but from what I’m seeing here, this doesn’t look bad at all. Heck, I’ll buy THAT clip above for a dollar!

 
Some are griping about he black suit over the silver/opalescent color from the Paul Verhoeven film, but I think the new flick’s black outfit is pretty cool in its own right. Sure, if this was “real”, a more matte finish would be the way to go for night ops, but that’s only something I’d heard in a conversation and not my own opinion. It was a pretty hilarious discussion, though.

 
This one’s my favorite clip because we ALL have those dreams that are nice and lovely and getting to the good part and then *BOOM*, you get knocked awake and you’re back in the real world with your day screwed up because your sleep was interrupted. Stupid alarm/hungry pet/cranky kid/spouse/boss/person yelling at you to wake up because you’re napping when you’re SUPPOSED to be steering that bus! Anyway, welcome back to the real world. Now keep those eyes open until you get home, pal.

Omnicorp’s CES 2027 Lineup Looks Mighty Familiar…

Yes, these are snazzy viral teasers for the RoboCop reboot in case you were thinking I found the key to a TARDIS somewhere and stupidly ONLY brought back this stuff from the future. I’d actually go back to the past a few times and stock up on old comics and a few Van Goghs plus push a few would be dictators off of high balconies or something like that.

Ahem, any-waaaay, these lead ups are quite amusing for sure… now it’s up to the movie to take off and fly right into that box office stratosphere or something corny like that. My mind is otherwise occupied today, so you’ll need to take what’s served up today, sorry!

RoboCop TV Spot #1: There’s A New Sheriff In Town (Metal Suit Version…)

So, here they come. The first of many TV spots for this upcoming remake. Is it me or are people THAT jaded now that this otherwise fine-looking remake/reboot might not be as big as some on the internet are saying? Eh, not that I pay much mind to what others say on the Internet, mind you. I’m just worried that our new “wait it out” culture will wait it out for the first big early review that merely mentions a flaw, cross their collective arms with a mighty “SEE!,I told you it would suck!” and then go torrent the video off some pirate site only to discover it’s not the train wreck they thought. Of course, trying to get those people to pay for anything entertainment wise is a tough haul, but Hollywood loves to keep trying. Me, I think the film will do just fine when it hits a multiplex near you next month.

Of course, I still CAN’T see any darn movies at all around here now that the two closest movie houses are DEAD. Boo. What kind of crap area is this now? We USED to have five theaters in walking distance not so long ago. My “local” theater is now something like four or five miles away at least. Probably more, as I haven’t checked around for a replacement theater in a while. Eh, small world problem considering REAL issues facing too many these days, right? But hey, little things (like a decent cinema) DO mean a lot to some folks…

In Case You Need To Have A More Manic Monday, A Little EVIL DEAD Reminder…

I guess a post title like “In Case Of Emergency, BREAK GLASS. Slash Wrists With GLASS” is too extreme, huh? Anyway, the film is doing as I thought, as in fine with most horror fans and OK to so-so with critics who don’t quite see what the fuss is about or worse, go in with Cabin in the Woods expectations. Whatever. I didn’t like Cabin that much (despite it doing some fun things with the genre), the SCREAM movies annoyed me (again, some fun stuff, but overrated AND too many sequels) and don’t even get me started on those “found footage” flicks where someone has an old video camera with the battery life of a Galaxy Note III. Yeah, you Blair Witch Project. That ending was freaky, but I didn’t feel the least bit frightened by the rest of the film (and I’ve seen it three times just to make sure).

Hmmm… I don’t believe in “ghosts” either, so Paranormal Activity made me laugh at the people in the theater jumping at flying sheets or whatever. And as for The Exorcist? The hospital scenes were FAR scarier than any of that head spinning possessed crap. Which means the more superstitious you are, the least likely your survival odds will be when that ASPCA truck full of black cats tips over near that outdoor mall sale on ladders and mirrors which will get your heart racing before some kid running out of that mall in his 90% off Halloween costume (he’ll be a ghost or the devil) puts you down for the count. Welcome to your nightmare!

OK, maybe I’m too much of a curmudgeon here, but I won’t tell you what NOT to watch as it’s up to you where you eat your popcorn at the end of the day…