Places you’re been to turn into warped versions of themselves even in the photos you’ve taken. Of course, this is what both real Paris and Hell Paris look like after a few drinks (actually, Hell Paris ALWAYS looks like this, and remember… there’s no beer served in Hell at all despite what some of those signs you’ll come across say).
In short, I really need a vacation, but first I need to be able to PAY for a vacation. I’m working on that, or at least trying to make more money in general. If I can’t go somewhere fancy, it’s at least good enough to pretend at somewhere local and appropriate in its selection of diversions.
OK, OK… I could just go back to Hell for a bit, but I think they’re starting to notice I keep popping up for the free hot buffet and leaving right before the mandatory floor show experience. Hey, that key I found on the street happens to fit the exit door AND gets me in the front gate when I wave it at the guard, so I may as well use it while I can, right?
Some movies are SO incredibly bad that it’s hard to hate them when you’re nearly dying from laughing so hard at and with them. 1988’s not quite epic action (yet must-see if you love really terrible films) masterpiece, Bulletproof is one of those films for a whole load of reasons from having Gary Busey as its star to the tricked out (and stupidly large) Thunderblast tank that looks as if it was designed by a room full of 12 year old boys with a box of plastic model tank kits he’s after once it’s stolen and taken to Mexico or something.
Actually, the brain-frying plot isn’t even important as much as watching Busey as Frank “Bulletproof” McBain blow away “butthorns”, survive all sorts of death threats and attempts, try hard to get the girl and even play the saxaphone at one point. You’ll probably start grinning less than two minutes in and once the laughs start, they’ll be hard to stop as one scene tops another for sheer overkill or just plain “WTF did I just watch”-ness. Of course, seeing Busey in too-tight jeans running around shooting up the scenery might put you off your food, but just watch the bodies fall or avert your eyes if you feel the need to…
Here’s a simple test for those who think different types of media directly affect one’s behavior in every single case. Have the kids (or yourself) watch NOTHING but this classic Humphrey Bear short for an entire month and see if you become a lot less of a litterbug (and really great at doing cartoon dances). If you’re still tossing that fast food wrapper or soda can to the street or not cleaning up after the dog when you walk it, then you can shut up about little Johnny potentially becoming a mass murderer after he plays five seconds of a game rated above his age (which he shouldn’t be doing anyway if you’re a decent enough parental unit).
If, on the other hand, you’re humming that bouncy tune from the cartoon while scooping up trash wherever you go (and being very careful with any matchbooks you find)… well, you can throw every entertainment device in your home into that trash bin as well and go burn ALL of the books in your home while you’re at it. Can’t be TOO picky about where the kid will pick up a violent idea, right?
Yeah, and you thought YOU had a hard day at the office. Imagine being the poor guy in the turban trying to turn a trick (heh) with that stupid rabbit foiling you at every turn. Think of this the next time the boos asks you to get out of bed at the crack of dawn to scoot downtown to pick him up those Cronuts he thinks he needs to survive (but will eventually put him into a diabetic coma because he’s eating too many a month). And no, I’ve never had a Cronut – I think people who desire them so are nuts. If they’re THAT good, they should be on sale in more places. Hmmm… I may need to drag my old butt out of bed one pre-bright and sunny one to check this fad out… hell, it’ll make a heck of an article, right?
If you’ve never seen this Robert Aldrich-produced and directed film noir masterpiece, drop what you’re doing (well, unless you’re operating heavy machinery or in the middle of something where dropping anything will cause a major or minor disaster) and go look this one up. You’re guaranteed to say something like “What the…” at least two or three (or a dozen) times while watching this one, trust me. Mike Hammer is supposed to be a hard as nails private eye, but in this flick, he spends about a quarter of the film either getting chased, beaten up, shot at and otherwise maimed by assorted people who want him out of the picture he’s supposed to be starring in.
Deviating quite dramatically from the Mickey Spillane novel, this one’s a blazing hot mix of a downward spiral into a particularly dark hell for private eye Mike Hammer (masterfully played by Ralph Meeker), who has so many brushes with death here that the film ends up having a nasty comic edge thanks to the level of violence on display. No one here escapes unscathed, as everyone either wants Hammer dead or disabled (or both) and the few people on his side tend to drop like flies or come pretty close to it. The film also offers up a big twist at the end that turns it into a sort of wild sci-fi flick, but I won’t spoil that surprise other than to say it’s a big reason the film is so insanely brilliant…
Well, it it actually existed, that is… I think it’s Lucille Ball’s birthday or it just passed or something. My crystal ball is cracked and I’m too lazy to check the internet. Wait… I’m ON the internet. Hold on, blast you… Aha! It’s August 6, 1911, so I’m a day early. Good! Happy Birthday, Lucy!
A quickie description of Corundum Games’ first titleInvasodado- The Cube Invaders would probably go something like this: Space Invaders marries a Match 3 puzzle game and like any couple, a good fight breaks out as the two halves battle it out over their differences. Of course, a winner is YOU thanks to the mix working so well. Anyway, this free open source download is a mighty fine way to kill a few too many hours and also wish for perfectly working time travel. Could you imagine the millions this tiny NYC (Go, hometown!) developer would have made back in the late 70’s and early 80’s if this one was an Atari cartridge? Or hell, what the size of the pile of loot they’d be sitting on if this was a NES and/or Game Boy pack-in?
Yeah, Invasodado has that deceptively simple retro thing working for it BIG time. It’s really easy to play but of course, you get that side order of tough to master as any classic game should be. The visual familiarity brings an instant smile and makes wanting to try a few waves a total no-brainer. As in Space Invaders, blast down those pesky invaders before they reach your base ship at the bottom of the screen and you’re halfway there. However, you’ll also need to pay attention to the colors of the aliens you shoot so you can match and take out the colored blocks stacking up before they reach the top of the screen. You can also clear a column of colors by shooting down a special target that drifts across the screen at random intervals (a good thing if those blocks are stacking up too high).
You can play for a few minutes and get your fix in, but I’m betting a few of you who really appreciate this style of visual and vintage gaming bliss will be hooked in for wave after wave (which should make for some bizarre dreams later on, I’d bet). Anyway, let’s keep this short because you have a game to download (yes, it’s FREE!). I’d actually love to see this get enough of an audience so it can be ported over to the 3DS and Vita at some point (which will hopefully make Corundum some money), but I guess we’ll see what happens in the future. Hey, if anything, the game will prepare a whole new generation for alien defense tactics (er, provided those particular space invaders move in predictable back and forth patterns and come in bright colors making them easy to shoot down and those cubes they transform into or drop don’t hurt if they fall on your head). Anyway, stop reading this and go download already!
Sometimes you have no choice in the matter, folks. But hey, at least you can take your mind off your troubles while you’re trying to learn some new moves (and try to get your own pet to cooperate in the process). The great Eleanor Powell makes it look too easy (as usual), but don’t let that keep you from trying a few steps yourself. Er,just make sure you move all the breakables out of the way – you have enough stuff on your plate to worry about stomping on a broken plate in your bare feet. Sundays at the ER are often pretty lousy, I hear…
Woof! Yes, gog.com, Interceptor Entertainment and Apogee Software (wow, they’re STILL around?) all want you to pre-order Rise of The Triad (and get a bunch of other games for free in the process) and they’re not above (or is it below?) sticking a fork in the butt of a certain super-high profile game series that pops up in yearly installments. I’m sort of tired of this genre, but at least RoTT is supposed to be as funny as it is violent and isn’t trying at all to be the “best” looking game out there. I’m tempted… but we’ll see what a few friends who’ve pre-ordered this one say…
Well, well, well… and here I thought he was just a WWI Flying Ace, a failed author, a former owner of a multi-level underground doghouse fit for a billionaire (until it burned down!) and a few other cool things. My dad had this tote bag in storage with a bunch of other stuff and it’s a pretty cool find as I’ve never seen it until now. I did some quick research as I was typing this post and apparently there was indeed a TV special called “It’s A Mystery, Charlie Brown” – nice! I think it was also done as an illustrated book, but I’ll need to dive deeper into that research at some point.
Granted, as old as I am, I probably SHOULD know this already, but I haven’t seen EVERY single Peanuts special and hey, I don’t have catching up on the ones I missed high on my to-do list. Actually… as I’m sitting here thinking about it… I do vaguely recall seeing this one, but it’s been over thirty years since so my memory is supremely hazy about those days. Anyway, the mystery of yet another old item is solved. 30 boxes of stuff to go. Yikes. Anyone want to help out here?
Places you’re been to turn into warped versions of themselves even in the photos you’ve taken. Of course, this is what both real Paris and Hell Paris look like after a few drinks (actually, Hell Paris ALWAYS looks like this, and remember… there’s no beer served in Hell at all despite what some of those signs you’ll come across say).
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 