Vikings vs. The Vikings: My Money’s Still On Kirk & Company…

Posted on March 17, 2013 by geelw

I’m gathering that any actual historian worth his or her salt cellar has stopped watching the “History” Channel some time ago for actual history, but their new “first” scripted (allegedly – not counting the fact that “reality” TV is in fact, constructed of MANY pre-scripted elements) series seems to be drawing some attention in a Game of Thrones/Spartacus sort of manner. It’s actually not a bad show at all, but I do wish it were associated with another network, not one with swamp dudes and other happy and not so happy-go-lucky hillbilly hipsters, hicks and hucksters getting their 15 minutes of fame.

That said, I still prefer Richard Fleischer’s 1958 epic with Kirk Douglas, as the show is based off the real-life story this classic was cut from. Check it out sometime if you haven’t seen it yet, as it’s a pretty great flick that’s stood the test of time and deserves a younger audience appreciating it’s violent charms…

Hey, Hollywood! If You REALLY Want to Remake Something…

Posted on March 17, 2013 by geelw

weekend at bernie's remake concept poster Steal this stupid idea from this sketch I drew up last year one late night when I couldn’t sleep. In plain English: take a dumb as shit “comedy” only remembered for its one joke premise and make it into a one-shot (and in NO sequels!) scary as hell horror flick about a few people who do in and bury their boss at his home away from home only to have the body go missing (and the body count rise as things get weirder) or do it up as a funky black comedy with some nice gore effects (practical, please). Think The Trouble With Harry meets Night of the Living Dead as shot by Jacques Tourneur and you’ll sort of get the idea… hopefully.

You’re welcome, by the way..

Despicable Me 2 Toy Profile of the Week (4): Double “Evil” Geniuses On Display

Posted on March 15, 2013 by geelw

It’s Gru, he’s back again for you with kids and Minions in his crew.
He’s not as bad as he first seems – his new girls tamed his evil dreams.
But Minions vanishing from his place have him now in quite a race.
To put a stop to a new foe (and have you all cheer Go, Gru GO!)

And here’s Nefario, Gru’s right hand man, who’s always on with every plan.
But hearing loss is his big bane, his mistakes make Gru’s projects lame.
Dart Gun to Fart Gun is good for fun, but useless when more pain’s the one
Nevertheless, Gru keeps him ’round, as good friends for life go pound for pound
And perhaps if their plans would just work right, the world will be theirs day and night!

Pictured, two more Collectible Action Figures (Gru and Dr. Nefario) from the upcoming Despicable Me 2 toy line (2”-3.5”), Age: 4+; Approximate Retail Price: $4.99 – Available starting in May at a retailer near you.

Random Film of the Week: This Island Earth

Posted on March 15, 2013 by geelw

(Thanks, TrailerFood!)

Depending on how far back your cinema memories go, 1955’s This Island Earth is either a really cheesy “B”- grade sci-fi flick chock full of laughs or a genre classic that still has some compelling moments. Given that it took around 2 1/2 years to get from novel to screen (and it shows in some pretty solid production values and impressive for the era visual effects), the fact that a good chunk of younger movie fans may only know this from the on-target butchering it got in Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie is a wee bit annoying.

Hey, like many of you, I like MST3K a great deal. But I can still recall a few friends who were also fans of this gem thinking the folks behind that decision to rip this classic a new one were a bit out of their heads. I grew up watching this on TV a few too many times as kid and along with the stellar Forbidden Planet and heady, deep The Day the Earth Stood Still and the thrilling “B” Earth vs The Flying Saucers, it’s on my (too) long list of ‘Desert Island Disc’ sci-fi picks.

No CG here, folks. Just good ol’ models, mattes, and dangerous chemical explosions.

That’s not to say the film doesn’t have its share of intentionally and unintentionally funny moments, mind you. Clever viewers can mine this one for plenty of chuckles if they choose to go that route. That said, it’s best to look at it today as a product of dedicated over-exuberance of the filmmakers in delivering a space opera for the masses that was also a pretty darn good genre movie that holds up today when approached from the proper perspective. Continue reading →

Kick-Ass 2 Trailer: Heroes And Nuts Do That Dance Once More…

Posted on March 14, 2013 by geelw

In case you never saw the first film (or read the comic, for that matter)… drop everything NOW and do one of those two things. I’ll wait. (La la la, hmm hmm hmmmm… la la l..*ding!*) OK, got it? GOOD. Well, this isn’t quite more of the same hilarious ultra-violence, it’s just much MORE of it and a lot crazier. Which is a good thing, by the way. I’m still not convinced Jim Carrey is worth trotting out of the house over these days, but I can deal with him in something as nutty and violent as this flick, as it’s somewhat up his alley in terms of his older, wilder work. As always, we shall see… SO far, so good, though. Kick-Ass 2 should be in theaters August 16, 2013.

Random Film of the Week: The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane

Posted on March 12, 2013 by geelw

video courtesy of Youtuber rynnjacobs.com – Thanks!

While it hasn’t got gallons of blood spilling all over the place nor a high body count to rival later and much more exploitative genre flicks, there’s a constant and nicely weird vibe that runs throughout Nicholas Gessner’s 1976 film The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane that makes it one of those slow burning “horror” flicks that lingers in your brain after the credits have rolled. The movie is more of a mystery/suspense hybrid than an actual horror film, but it’s easy to see it falling into that latter classification because of one particularly sudden death and part of one or two other scenes. Then again, it’s also one of those great oddball movies where the people who do die get their just desserts and probably won’t be missed even by the most pacifistic film fan.

Continue reading →

Star Trek: Into Darkness Teaser #2: Or: On Funding More Dream Therapy For J.J. Abrams…

Posted on March 9, 2013 by geelw

Hmmmm… Does J.J. Abrams have the same scary dream about falling every night? Seriously. I haven’t seen so many people jumping off high places into certain doom in a trailer in a while. OK, well… that silly trailer to the last Die Hard flick was lousy with stupidly impossible to survive jumps, but I’ll catch the full film once it hits cable and see if that’s just one sequence split into a few parts for the trailer edit. Still, I just laugh away merrily now when I see one of J.J.’s flicks because I’m EXPECTING someone to do a running jump off of something tall and into an action sequence. Of course, if there’s a big gust of air that carries the jumping human bean UP and onto something else for a one point safe landing as a cool twist, I’ll be even more thrilled. Well, as thrilled as one could be from seeing the same sequence repeated in a few different films. Anyway, nice teaser here, right? I say go pay to see this just so the director can eventually pay his way through therapy and find out what this falling fetish is all about.

Evil Dead TV Spot: “Everything’s Fine”… Unless You’re A Character In This Film…

Posted on March 8, 2013 by geelw

“The joint is jumpin’… it’s really jumpin’…”

That’s because the damn house is HAUNTED, Fats. Nasty ol’ evil Book of the Dead ring any bells for you? No? Hmmm… let me explain it a bit better in English: Get the h-e-l-l off that damn piano and make a run for the door, big man.

OK, I’m not one for ridiculous over-hype, but this flick just may be worth the bother to drag my tired butt down to the local cinema to catch. I keep flipping the usual mental coin about more and more movies and usually (since I use a two-headed coin) I end up waiting for the cable premiere. As my LAST coin toss saw my trick quarter fly out a window never to be seen again, I have to judge things more like everyone else. So far, it’s been going well, so we’ll see how this turns out. I have no huge expectations going into this, but I just may pack a pair of extra underwear and pants just in case…

Iron Man 3 (Trailer 2): Just In Case You Were Wondering If It Was Going to be Good…

Posted on March 6, 2013 by geelw

Hmm… It seems Marvel Productions is going to be pushing this one much harder than they need to, but that’s fine by me. The multiple TV spots should be fun to watch as they follow the “serious/action/catchy joke finale” thing most of these comic book flicks (and heck, most other movies) get when truncated down to 15 to 30 second spots. I don’t think I’ll run them all or I’d need to change the name of the site to “IRON MAN 3 Trailers!” or something corny like that.

Overkill was never my style (nor was coming up with good alternate site names, as you’ve probably guessed)…

Iron Man 3 Trailer: The Stark Knight Rises? We Shall See…

Posted on March 5, 2013 by geelw

Well, that was pretty cool after all. Darker and adding elements from some of the older comics while tossing in plenty of surprises (and army of Iron Men AND a Hulkbuster at the end? Nice). Of course, under all that sturm und drang it’ll be interesting to see if this third installment can feel as fresh as the first while making sure there’s humor in the right spots AND all that actually fine looking mix of CG and practical effects can get and keep asses dropping into seats for long enough that Marvel is happy-dancing around the room on day one. If that happens, they’ll be bouncing around on Hopptity Hop money sacks within a month’s time, as will anyone who signed up for a percentage of the gross (if that’s even done anymore). I actually like that they took one of the all-time corniest but cool villains (The Mandarin) and actually made him a big menace. Well, the great Gene Colan’s version was always creepy-looking, but that’s the late master at work, I say. Well, May 3 is zipping up soon, so my prediction is a no-brainer that this one will be a big pre-summer smash with legs to keep going worldwide.