Movies You Didn’t Know You “Needed” A Sequel To (1): Pineapple Express 2

Posted on April 7, 2013 by geelw

OK, I liked the first one because it was insanely silly and serious in that weird way (sort of like the love child of Scorcese, Apatow and Hal Ashby), but a sequel? Really? Yeesh. Granted, this trailer did make me laugh a little bit, but I’m also getting a Hangover from these serio-comedies that some studios keep feeling the need to give new installments. Sometimes, meeting a certain type of person ONCE in a lifetime is more than enough, I say. Hell, at this rate that In Bruges sequel should be rolling up at a theater near you in oh, about six months or so. By the way, that’s a big in-joke considering how that film ended. Go check it out if you haven’t – it’s absolutely NOT for all tastes, but it’s pretty damned hilarious if you’re an adult with a decent sense of humor who knows every movie isn’t a mirror to actual events…

Random Film of the Week(end), Too: Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

Posted on April 7, 2013 by geelw

As directorial debuts go, Michael Cimino’s 1974 film Thunderbolt and Lightfoot makes for a weird and wild first film that’s chock full of quirky characters, absurd situations and plenty of action. It’s also one of Clint Eastwood’s best performances of that decade as Thunderbolt, but Jeff Bridges steals the film with his offbeat Lightfoot, a happy-go lucky misfit who’d teamed up with Eastwood after he inadvertently saves his bacon from an assassin. The film is part drama, part comedy, part action and all Cimino rolling the dice, letting his cast have their way with his script and whipping out a wild ride that’s still a pretty memorable movie. Just the absurdity of Thunderbolt pulling off a bank job using a wheeled 20mm cannon is reason enough to see this, but toss in Bridges in drag at one point plus a crazy guy in a car with a raccoon and trunk full of rabbits, shake well and watch what happens…
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Random Film of the Week(end): Tales From The Crypt

Posted on April 6, 2013 by geelw

TALES FROM THE CRYPT poster No, it’s NOT my autobiography (ha ha), but the classic 1972 horror anthology (one of six released by Amicus Productions) with the poster I hated seeing in the subway as a kid. Hey, when you’re something under four feet tall or whatever, a HUGE ass skull with an eyeball following you around makes quite a memorably negative impression. Anyway, Freddie Francis‘ flick became a long time favorite after the first time I finally saw it on TV a few years after being scared to death of that poster.

Based on five great EC Comics horror stories, this film and the other Amicus EC anthologies can definitely be seen as successful comic book adaptations and in fact, can also be seen as scarier than some of today’s far gorier flicks that just toss body parts and nudity in a mixing bowl and let some overeager editor have at it until you end up with a jumbled forgettable mess. TFTC works as a horror flick and “or else” morality play of sorts where you’ll get your scare on without that grimy feeling most modern flicks leave you with afterward… Continue reading →

Carrie Remake Trailer: Spoiler Theater Is Actually Just More Deja Vu…

Posted on April 6, 2013 by geelw

Amusingly enough, this trailer from the upcoming Carrie remake has actually been criticized a bit too harshly for basically spoiling the entire film even more so than most other genre flick trailers. While this may indeed be true, it’s actually just copying the same marketing from the 1976 original, which by the way, WORKED fine in filling seats way back then. Check out both (look up! Look down!) and see what I’m babbling about.

Granted, Brian De Palma’s film was probably a great deal more shocking back then this remake will be seen as when it hits theaters, but we’ll see if the actors in the new film can deliver performances as memorable as those in the original. As always, class… we shall see… we shall see…

Iron Man 3 Fandango TV Spot: What, This IS Cinerama?

Posted on April 5, 2013 by geelw

OK, we get TWO TV ads in one day for this upcoming soon to be blockbuster? Hey, don’t blame me, blame Marvel for posting them so far apart. Anyway, what’s up with the oddball aspect ration? Sure, it looks awesome, but WordPress defaults these videos into such a tiny size that this will look like a Band-Aid in the post. Eh, I’m SURE you all know you can play this full screen so you can see what’s going on, right? Anyway, I wouldn’t mind finding out if anyone out there actually has a working Cinerama screen setup to show off, as I’d love to see some of those old films in that crazy wide view they ran in. I’ve only caught some stuff on TCM, but no TV out there can do the format justice…

Kick-Ass 2 Trailer: Alternate Reality Check, Please…

Posted on April 5, 2013 by geelw

Well, I guess a world full of Iron Man suits zipping around is whole hell of a lot better thing to imagine than one where every super-powered wannabee was completely and unflinchingly NUTS, right? Imagine the “crimes” being dealt with by costumed crazies that thought the smallest offense was punishable by a beat-down or worse? Well, that’s been done a few times in comics, books and films, so I won’t cover that ground again. That said, Kick-Ass 2 looks like it’ll be a winner, provided the culture here isn’t too turned off by the ultra-violence. Fat chance on that, by the way, as we seem to LOVE being outraged by mass media more than actual violence in some cases. “This town NEEDS an enema!” Indeed. From the brain down, folks…

Iron Man 3 TV Spot #4: That’s A LOT Of Iron In The Air…

Posted on April 5, 2013 by geelw

One thing that’s going to get a lot of people into those theater seats is all those Iron Man suits zipping around like they’re coming off an assembly line. I can’t imagine this in real life, as all you’d see outside would be Fat Iron Man, Too Low Pants Iron Man, Homeless Iron Man, Slow Old Lady Iron Man (they fly in packs), Letting That Dog Poop On The Street And Not Cleaning It Up Iron Man and a few other annoying and impervious to damage Iron Man suits in action. Bleh. It’s the new Rascal (or Weasel, given that company’s legal woes of late). And THIS, dear reader, is WHY we have movies to watch. You get the hell away from real life for two hours at a time (not counting 20 minutes of trailers)…

The Purge Trailer: Hmmm… There’s A Joke in There Somewhere…

Posted on April 4, 2013 by geelw

Joke, what joke? Oh, something about how binging on too many horror flicks can lead to tossing one’s cookies afterwards. And NOT because they’re particularly scary horror flicks, mind you. I’m actually not a big fan of these home invasion sub-genre nasties because they tend to be more mean-spirited than actually scary. Anyway, I guess a little star power and solid acting can help any project, but the premise here (and in the rest of this sub-genre) is usually more disturbing than freaky because we already have criminals who act like this running around in some places. Hmmm… I guess that IS scary to most folks at the end of the day. Lock your doors! Cloooooose your windows! Put a bear trap out as a welcome mat! And that’s so you don’t LEAVE your house to go see this one (har, har)…

Iron Man 3 TV Spot #3: Orange You Glad The Mandarin’s Not Real?

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

OK, OK… that was a REALLY terrible (and way too obvious) pun (and only one of a few too many – collect them all!), but I couldn’t help myself. Hell, Sir Ben is practically twirling his mustache as he chews the scenery up and spits out the seeds. Granted, some of you will find this sort of villainy quite appealing (another pun!), but I can see some more of you thinking this guy and his wacky candy rings is really fruity (*zing!*). Of course, I’d bet if he WERE real and standing within eyeball contact, you’d be hard pressed to say that to his face. More likely than not, he’d freshly squeeze some juice from your melon with a few waves of his fingers. OK, let me shut up before the Pun-isher has to come after me (Bwaa-ha-ha!). Good Night, folks…

The Conjuring Trailer: Hell Is Other People (And How)…

Posted on April 2, 2013 by geelw

the conjuring Oh, this new trailer for the upcoming WB flick is nice and creepy, but just what is this obsession with revisiting elements from The Ring and other scarier flicks these Hollywood horror directors seem to have? Not that I don’t mind a good horror flick that’s influenced by others from time to time, but here’s another one that gives weird little girls a bad name. And don’t get me started on the whole “inspired by actual events” thing that really means “Oh yeah? PROVE it!” to a super jerk skeptic like myself.

Anyway, hey! I think we NEED weird little girls (and boys) who crawl up walls to grow up and become weirder women (and men) with that talent and I bet you’d agree with me (well, a little). That’s where some really great art comes from when that weirdness gets channeled in the right ways. And yep, having an outlet for one’s inside voices is a REALLY important thing. Otherwise, yeah… you get a gal (or guy) that makes YOU crawl up a wall because she’s/he’s wonderfully loopy to a fault (and drives anyone within a certain radius out of their minds for a few not quite good reasons). That 21-way intersection of Crazy Street and Cute Avenue is never a safe street to cross, folks…