DmC Captivate Trailer/Gameplay: Dante’s Looking Sharper Than Before, So Lose The Hate, Kids…

 

Go, Ninja Theory! I love what I see here (even with the changes made), but as usual, the noisy crickets vomiting in the weeds outside keep getting in my way of enjoying all this hard work. OK… all the haters really need to put a boot in it already and just let the game get completed and ship as Capcom and Ninja Theory want it to go out. A little RESPECT goes a long way, kids – so knock it off and maybe try to accept something new for a change.

 

 

Still, I have to say, Capcom and Ninja Theory have a hard road ahead of them that I’m sure they’re a lot less diplomatic about in private. Man, what a bunch of unappreciative babies we have this console generation. This sense of entitlement too many feel towards content they should simply let a talented developer try something new with is getting out of hand. If the game is a hit (despite the bile being spilled), it sill still be hated by the idiots, but that’s too bad for them, I say.

 

 

Why more people aren’t waiting for some ACTUAL hands-on time before damning the final game to the discount bin is beyond me. Being a sheep and following the bleating heard of Negative Nellies just means you end up playing the same crap year after year and complaining about it afterward as if you don’t know YOU’RE part of the problem…

 

 

Skullgirls “Behold Double” Trailer: Er, Behold Double WHAT?

Hey, now! Put down that baseball bat! I’m no pervy otaku at all, folks – I just laughed out loud when I saw the trailer title and watched it while my tiny male brain thought of the first two things that came to mind. Er, wait… that came out wrong. Um, boy, are my thumbs going to be sore! No, that didn’t come out right either…. Hmmm, let me quit while I’m ahead (or behind, depending on your sense of humor) or I’ll end up boots up in a Dumpster somewhere…

There Are More Fighters In The New Naruto Game Than Letters In This Title.

 

Between the massive roster, the all-new Studio Pierrot animation created for the game and the endless hours of fun that will have you and your Naruto-loving friends up (for endless hours, I say!)  I think it’s about time to stock up on a few extra controllers.  Just in case stuff happens.  “WHAT stuff?” you ask? Well, you know… stuff. Now, you don’t HAVE to buy those extra gamepads because I said so, but don’t cell me up at 2AM when you bust your stick and want to borrow one of mine. Go poke around on Newegg.com or something, snap up a few inexpensive Nyko wired controllers and leave me alone, I’m trying to sleep. Good Night!

Google’s “Project Glass”: If Thine Eye Offend Thee (And How)…

Hmmm… As soon as I saw this video, I nearly fell over laughing. Oh, SURE, it looks cool and hip and fresh and whatever the kids all say these days. My choice of slang here would be “Dope?” Wait. It’s currently a NEAR TRANSPARENT screen that’s in front of your eyes while you’re walking down the street? Think about that for a minute (it should take a LOT less time, but I’m feeling generous today)…  Er, does anyone still use “dope” as slang anymore for cool stuff? Can I get a “dope” here? (Heeeeeeey, dope!)… Er, no dope? OK, let’s try this: Hey all you drooling hipsters and twittering techies… here’s another cool video to watch (it’s dope!):

In other words, this is an eternally DUMB idea that’s going to do more harm than good, I say… Continue reading

Avengers Black Widow Clip: Hold The Phone And Have A Seat, True Believers!

 
 

Hah! There are probably a few too many guys out there who WANT to get beat up like this by Ms. Scarlett. I’m not one of them, though (hey, I bruise easily and don’t do my own stunts!). I’m sure we’ll see some dopey YouTube video of someone trying this for real (ouch!), but I won’t be watching that particular pain-fest at all. Remember, kids – movies are movies… reality bites back hard! But of course, you’re not listening – it’s time to make that video, right? Before you break out that camera and chair and get your gal to doll up in a skin-tight outfit, you may as well check out the latest TV commercial for the upcoming film as well…

 
 

Sega Bass Fishing of the Dead: Well, It SHOULD Be A Real Game…

Ah, Sega, Sega, Sega… don’t make some cranky Dreamcast fans go nuts this weekend! Still, You KNOW they would have fallen harder and FAST if it were an “official” Shenmue III announcement. Er, then again, maybe that would have been a really terrible prank to yank. You guys and gals don’t want a horde of VERY pissed off torch-carrying gamers storming the Sega offices on a Sunday morning. They’d go and do it, too…

Razer SnakeEyes AR Visor: Best. April. Fools. Joke. Ever. (So Far…)

Hmmm… I wonder if any game or tech sites are going to run this as an actual product story. My money is on some poor print newspaper’s tech section where the weekend guy sees that email and thinks he’s got the scoop on THE hot new product of the month. I wonder how many product requests Razer will get from fellow editor-types out there? Um… I’ll take a dozen, please!

Anyway, I got the joke and didn’t even need to visit the “official” site link, but it’s absolutely worth a read because it’s hilarious stuff. Good show, guys – now get back to work!

Dark Shadows TV Ads 1 – 3: WB Does The Hard Sell Again (But This TIme, It’s OK)…

 
 

To be frank, I stopped counting (and watching) Wrath of the Titans ads when they jumped from 14 to 27 different ones or so in less than a day on YouTube, but this reboot/remake of the hilariously campy yet compelling dramatic modern Gothic soap opera (say THAT three times fast) actually looks as it’s going to be worth the ticket price. Tale that stake to the heart, you glowy teenage “vampires”, grrrr!!! Of course, my OWN dream project for Mr. Depp is for he and Tim Burton to get cracking on remakes of both Dr. Phibes films with perhaps a third film to make it a trilogy. Granted, I’m sure both guys would prefer a one-shot, one film deal that crams both stories into one extended movie over a sequel (or sequels) that demand geometrically increasing box-office tallies for each one made. Anyway, let me switch off my wishful thinking meter before I start going into Mega Millions mode…

 
 

TV Spot 3 is below the jump… Continue reading

Wheels of Destruction Launch Trailer: My Back Isn’t Amused, Sony…

 
 

Just seeing those cars flipping around, blasting and otherwise demolishing each other is causing my poor back to seize up, Sony. No wait, that was all those koo-koo crazy rumors about the new console not doing certain things that will piss off anyone without a huge online data plan and a lot of throwaway cash to spend. Hmmm. One day that will all get sorted out (I hope), unitil then, folks – keep your fingers crossed that this digital deal we’re all being shoehorned into will be somewhat (hah!) “safe” as we throw all our (not so) private personal info into that BIG cloud-shaped blender and HOPE it’s OK…

Er, the game looks nice, by the way. Reminds me of Team 17’s Stunt GP, a dash of Twisted Metal and Argonaut’s Red Dog on the Dreamcast. Nice…

Why I Hate Sequels: The Bad Back Is Back In Action!

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OK, my back was fine (splendid, even) for a few hours after seeing and playing Sniper Elite V2 (it’s REALLY great – Rebellion and 505 Games have a  REAL winner packed full of 3rd person stealth/action/ and first-person sniping bliss here, go pre-order it ASAP, I say) and it was fine while I was writing up the preview and working on beating Ninja Gaiden III on the hardest mode (and wrecking my PS3 controller in the process, grrr). But, a few twists and turns and getting up from a slightly cramped position and (*creak, groan!*), it’s ouch-time once more. So, down I go for the night (well, a good eight hour rest, at least) with some grandpa-scented medicated stuff on my back, an aspirin or two and the alarm clock set, as I may be getting a package tomorrow with a certain “surprise” inside… Oof and goodnight!