(mild ouch): Well, I’m up for about an hour already and my back is a bit better (whee!). Going out to see a new game (in this case Sniper Elite V2) always helps ease the pain when it strikes. I’d also forgotten that Xenoblade Chronicles ships out next week for the Wii, so I ended up putting in a pre-order just now, Thank goodness I came into a little money out of the blue (Whee!), so at least one of the last important Wii titles will be winging my way shortly… OK, enough gloating and preening (moderate ouch!), off to be productive. Back in a bit, ladies and gents…
Tomorrow is the big day for the even more revamped GOG.com to launch and someone’s been busy pumping out some amusing ads that seem to be poking fun at other game download services. Nothing like a little friendly competition, but I’m betting the DRM-free aspect of GOG is guaranteed to win over certain folks who aren’t fans of it on other sites…
Always vigilant, Capcom (through its Capcom Unity blog), does its part in keeping some gamers off their usual slippery soapboxes griping about stuff by asking them to submit a rage-filled video clip to YouTube to support Asura’s Wrath (go buy it, it’s awesome stuff and original as hell in terms of a few things). Here are the best of the best (and some others you’ll want to check out. Enter the Rage Cage, sit back and prepare to laugh (hopefully you have some earplugs handy and don’t mind screaming)…
Of all the Dynasty Warriors-inspired games out there, only Koei’s assorted development teams (primarily Omega Force) have really nailed them perfectly. They not only invented the sub-genre of beat ’em up the games fall into, they’ve also been doing them for so darn long that even the ones that aren’t so hot are still incredibly addictive to play. Warriors Orochi 3 is looking as if it will the ultimate in fan service hack ‘n slash greatness as it packs in characters from nearly every Dynasty Warriors and Samurai Warriors game ever made (except the DW Gundam series, no doubt for licensing reasons and the fact that it would be deadly stupid to have life-sized heroes fighting 30-foot mecha). That and you get playable characters from other Koei games such as Ninja Gaiden, Warriors: Legends of Troy, Bladestorm, Trinity: Souls of Zill O’ll and Dead or Alive. Yikes.
Sure, the 120+ roster isn’t as nuts as the 210 playable fighters found in Squaresoft’s still amazing Tobal 2 by a long shot. Then again, I’d rather play as Areus, Ryu Hayabusa or Joan of Arc than the bottom head of a totem pole, a pile driver or an over-sized polygon star any day of the week. Yeah, I want this one, but I hope I’ll actually have the time to finish the game with a few favorite characters, as I know doing it with all 120 will take a bit longer than one should camp out in front of the TV. Crazy me will probably do this, but obviously, I won’t get to ALL 120 characters for a review. I’d need a time machine and a box of Dual Shock 3’s for that…
When I first heard about this flick, I very seriously thought it was a total joke. But nope, it’s real and coming sooner than some history buffs would prefer. OK, I’m not up on EVERY oddball comic or popular novel that gets turned into a major (or minor) motion picture, but hey, I’m too busy playing games and writing about them in some form to absorb a bigger pop cultchah fix like I used to. Speaking of pop culture fixes… I’m really not sure whyThe Hunger Games is getting all this hype when the incredible Battle Royale did it better and more brutally (as in content that was clearly NOT for teens in a nationwide school reading program). Hell, I’d even take a mean and disturbing film version of the ancient Stephen King story The Long Walk over Games’ over-sauced promotional campaign that puts too much emphasis on the wrong elements instead of where it counts.
Yeah, yeah, I’m a total buzz-killer, aren’t I? But hear me out for a bit as I plant my tongue firmly in cheek and “rant” on a bit. You just KNOW that ten to twenty years from now, this damn film will be seen as actual FACT by those short attention span theater kids raised way too dumb to crack open a REAL book. Hell, you won’t even be able to argue a point in favor of the truth because they’ll even have cinematic proof of their own thanks to a few other “documentaries” about past US presidents doing double duty as supernatural slayers. You DID know that FDR got polio from a werewolf and JFK gave Elvis an assist in killing off some evil mummy, right? Laugh now, but If you’ve got young kids at home, I bet they’ll be learning this crap straight from the cloud through through their iPad XXXII implants… OK, let me get my creaky old ass to bed before I get depressed and head for the nearest window instead…
What? You were expecting a HAPPY new Resistance game or something? Super-busy developer Nihilistic is looking to bring those nasty Chimera onto the Vita with a great-looking shooter that shows off how well the system can handle a top drawer FPS. First party power in the house (again!) and so far, so good from what I’ve seen. I’m also hoping we see a reboot of the original Killzone at some point just because that game deserves an update with certain things fixed and fiddled with. Anyway, that’s something for the future. For the moment, let’s get back to aliens invading New Jersey and wiping out most of the population there. I blame Snooki and the usual suspects down at the Shore. That brain-rotting show must have been what set the Chimera off once they started getting episodes sent back through time or something. Anyway, I gotta run… The Situation looks pretty grim from here…
Hmmmm… so, Starbucks has it in their minds to mention on each and every one of their napkins (made from recycled paper) that users should also recycle them after usage. That’s kind of a nasty conundrum if you think about it too hard.
As in, HOW the heck are you supposed to recycle something you just used to clean the foam from your hipster goatee or coffee-mussed lip gloss? Do you fold said napkin into a square the size of a teabag and hand it to the homeless guy you ignored camped outside that Starbucks so he can use it to suck on for a quick caffeine fix? Or do you keep it for yourself as a makeshift emergency ration when stranded on the subway or makeshift bandage in case that now pissed off homeless guy punches you in the nose ring? Decisions, decisions…
Me, I just decided to take an unused napkin and draw on it with a fine point Sharpie. Anyone want to by some recycled napkin art? Hell, I may as well try to recycle in reverse by using free napkins to generate some income. I’ll be the guy in that Starbucks you’ll want to beat up because he’s stolen all the napkins and you have to pay to get them from him only to find you can’t use them because they’re all scribbled on…
OK, I know I haven’t been keeping you guys and gals up to date in terms of this feature, but that’s what happens when one tries the world domination thing – you end up with too much stuff on your plate and some things get dropped. Speaking of world domination and dropping things, this fun to watch James Bond pastiche from 1967 happened to pop into my head as a film I haven’t seen in ages that’s worth tracking down. Sure, it’s not perfect, but it’s great for a laugh or three and some excellent set pieces keep things quite cool. Even better, in terms of all the Bond spoofs on that landed in theaters during the period, it’s one of the more polished efforts.
Granted, Hugh “Bulldog” Drummond is NOT a spy, but an updated version of the classic British detective for the swingin’ 60’s set and thus, sure as heck looks and feels like a fun Bond knockoff. Richard Johnson ably plays Drummond as a Bond not so lite tough guy insurance investigator (that’s longhand for detective for hire) who’s good with his fists, pistols, a snappy quip or two and the ladies (not necessarily in that order). He’s put on the case of a dead oil company executive and soon finds out that there are some sexy female assassins (the drop-dead gorgeous Elke Sommer and Sylva Koscina) and a mastermind behind the whole thing to deal with in his particular (albeit Bond-like) manner…
I got that header quote in an email about the trailer and got a nice chuckle before i went into common sense correction mode. It’s not as if those brief snippets of tease-y galore not seen in the US trailers are going to be cut from the film here. Still, it’s nice to see more bits and pieces of the film and how super it all looks, although I have one gripe that bugs me about almost every recent comic book flick. How come we get to see some heroes without their masks in public acting like it’s no big deal that they’re revealing their true identities? Go watch Spider-Man 2 and 3 for the worst examples of this silliness.
Anyway, I’m pleased as punch otherwise. Hell, I’ll even accept Sam Jackson as Nick Fury after holding out for so long. He sure makes a better Fury than David “Hamburgular” Hasselhoff did, that’s for damn sure…
(mild ouch): Well, I’m up for about an hour already and my back is a bit better (whee!). Going out to see a new game (in this case Sniper Elite V2) always helps ease the pain when it strikes. I’d also forgotten that Xenoblade Chronicles ships out next week for the Wii, so I ended up putting in a pre-order just now, Thank goodness I came into a little money out of the blue (Whee!), so at least one of the last important Wii titles will be winging my way shortly… OK, enough gloating and preening (moderate ouch!), off to be productive. Back in a bit, ladies and gents…
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 