And even if it tastes awful, you won’t be complaining to the company head for any reason, guaranteed. “I find your lack of taste buds… disturbing.” Of course, if the Force is strong in this one, it’ll be powerful enough to keep you up through multiple work shifts as an underpaid Imperial Stormtrooper with ONLY a few side effects. For example, your aim with a blaster will always be a bit off (especially when in large groups), you’ll be more susceptible to Light Force powers (“These aren’t the droids we’re looking for, duuuuhhhhh…”) and in some cases, people may even accuse you of being a little short for a stormtrooper.

Hmmm. I haven’t tried this brew myself yet, but I’m definitely intrigued by that package for some strange reason. If you’re also a weak-minded fool with somewhat of a caffeine habit. Let the Force guide your mouse hand as if it’s on an Ouija board over to Think Geek where you can score a bag of Dark Side Roast for a mere $14.99. And if you can’t make coffee to save your life… well, there are positions open for Imperial spies who can dress up as Rebel Alliance secretaries and try to cause havoc from the inside. If you can’t kill them with kindness.. you may as well let your lousy coffee do the job in a lot less time, correct?