I Might Not Make Any Resolutions This Year, But Some Of YOU Need To…

The Seat MonopolizerYeah, you know who you are, you too many seats taken on public transit, loud music blastin’ and/or cellphone talkin’, toe-pickin’, generally nasty to see in public types who think everywhere is perfect for your personal palace needs. You kings and queens of disgusting behavior are so bad that Miss Manners would throw you over her knee and spank you. But yes, she’s too darn nice for that (although I do believe she may change her mind on a few fronts this year).

You folks with the icky habits need to clean up your act this year, but at home and not out in public where you can make people want to toss their cookies at you. There are a few other people who can take that same train to Politeville, as it Just. So. Happens to make an scheduled stop in the village of Common Sense. Read on for two more types of fellow travelers who need a nice vacation and some proper reeducation about living in the modern age… Continue reading

Okay, CUPHEAD Is On My Game of the Year List (And It’s Not Even Done Yet)…

cuphead-idleI was in an odd mood today until I saw these two videos and now, I’m grinning like a squirrel that’s come across a crashed semi full of mixed nuts. CUPHEAD is a (currently) PC-only side-scrolling platformer from Studio MDHR with, well YES,a main character with a darn teacup for a head. Yeah, that was enough to get me grinning, but those gameplay teasers actually got me to laugh out loud because this is one of those oddball mash-ups that some developers have tried before with mixed results, but haven’t quite nailed.

CH_surpriseIf everything comes together and this delivers what its promising, I’m betting platformer fans make a beeline for this game on anything it eventually pops up on. That said, I don’t expect any actual cartoon or ton of licensed goodies to start dropping from the heavens at all (as I’d rather see any profits go into making more and better games in the future), but I think this dev team is off the a fine start. Keep and eye on this one, I say…

It’s Quiet in Here… Too Quiet…

For some odd reason, I have a bit of a block today. It’s not that I don’t have a pile of stuff to do here (he said, staring at his pile of stuff to do… which very politely sits there occasionally tipping its cap), it’s just that I’m almost literally at a loss for words. And when I can think of stuff, it’s as if it’s in another language. Bleh. Granted, you’re reading what I’m writing and therefore, I’m not at a TOTAL loss for words at all. It just that actual and more entertaining collections of letters and such aren’t coming out of the factory upstairs and that’s not a good thing at all. I’m not sure what the problem is, but I don’t think it will last long at all. I’ll run a self-diagnostic and post the results later. Or not. If things go as they should, this glitch will be shorter than it is longer and things will be back to normal soon.

Off to hit myself in the head with a hammer and see what happens. Back in a bit…

Review: BandFuse: Rock Legends

Bandfuse_360_PackPlatform: Xbox 360 (also on PlayStation 3)

Developer: Realta Entertainment

Publisher: Mastiff Games

# of Players: 1-4

ESRB Rating: T (Teen)

Official Site

Score: A- (90%)

So, this took a while to get done, but that’s because BandFuse: Rock Legends isn’t a “game” in that traditional yearly franchise some of you were probably expecting. While there are indeed game-like elements to both this and Ubisoft’s solid Rocksmith (which has more game-y bits and pieces to it), I have to tip my cap to Realta Entertainment for coming out of the gate strong with a product that excels so well at delivering exactly what it promises in its first iteration that any future versions will most likely be in the form of add on DLC or disc updates as opposed to an entirely new product. Featuring what’s basically an entire guitar school in a box and thanks to some great yet simple tech, amazing lag free play, BandFuse is a must-buy for anyone looking to learn to rock out with the best of them.

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The High Expectations of Low Resolutions and Vice Versa…

So, yeah… another year over, another one on the way. If you’re one of THOSE people who year after year forces pen to paper or fingers to keyboard to type out a long list of resolutions and then 364.5 days later you’re sobbing uncontrollably on that crumpled up sheet of paper or all over your mouse, perhaps it’s time to take it easy on yourself. Yes, SOME folks can knock out resolutions like Ali in his prime taking on a tomato can, but real people tend to do stuff like fall of the wagon, backslide, slip up, trip up, cave in and other things that keep them from going all the way with tackling some issues. Lighten up, I say. Unless you’re dealing with a personal, vice or health issue where you NEED daily (or hell, hourly) support to keep the flame burning, many other resolutions are either useless or bucket list stuff that will just kill you if you go do them all in a year.

Me, I’d LOVE to go see some wildlife up close and personal-like in Africa or somewhere without bars between me and the fuzzy smelly creatures of the jungle, but finances and fear of being ingested by something or catching something else (or both) keeps me safe at home. Of course, seeing that video above just kicked my dream in the groin hard (d’awwww, BIG Kittieeeeeees!), so I’ll use that as my official check off of that little “goal”. You know, now that I think about it, I really SHOULD make up a list of things NOT to resolve to do in 2014 and pass it along to you dear readers out there in internet land. Alright, DONE. Well, not yet – I’m busy on some other stuff, but yeah… expect a house of ideas to pop up shortly…

In the Zone: “Chicken in a Can”

EM_TZ_Two“Let me tell you something… You know Santa Claus? Yeah. well… he’s nothing but a gawd-damn pervert!” Most of the mouthful of coffee I’d just drank ended up coming back through my mouth and nose ending up on the formerly clean table as I now struggled to breathe. It’s a good thing my eggs weren’t ready yet.

The waitress that seated me rushed over with a dishcloth and asked if I was alright as she wiped the table down, seemingly wanting to reach over and start slapping me on the back or testing her Heimlich skills. As she placed her other hand above my back, I managed to nod and signaled up at her with an “OK” sign while letting out a strangled “Oh, it just went down the wrong way…” she breathed a half sigh of half relief. “Oh, I thought the coffee was too hot or burnt or something. Hold on, honey – I’ll get you a fresh cup!”  She scooted off to do so and as I patted my shirt down with some napkins, I glanced to the left and behind me to see who almost killed me before breakfast… Continue reading

Back Up And On My Feet. Or Perhaps I’m Dreaming Again…

So, yes. I went to bed earlier than usual after the spending the previous 24+ hours awake and I’d like to think I got a great rest now. However, I popped up in bed at 5:44am wide awake and as it was still dark outside, a bit annoyed that I was up. Of course, I did what anyone else would do… got out of bed and turned the computer on. Which was (of course) a bad idea. As I am the KING of bad ideas, I didn’t turn down the chance to hold onto my title. Amusingly enough, it probably would have been a better idea to relinquish that crown temporarily because nearly everything I tried to do online failed. I think my PC was still trying to sleep, so stuff like posting comments on a few blogs I follow or poking around to see if the stuff I was trying to sell on eBay kept getting me booted around with a few error messages.

Then again, my home computer needs some major updating which I haven’t done on the slower connection there. My super updated (thanks to free library wi-fi) laptop was in the other room all bagged up and ready to go later and yours truly wasn’t about to go out there and take it from its snug case to play with for a bit (as I’d be tempted to poke around all those games I’ve got installed)…

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I’m Still Half-Dead. Here’s A Kung Fury Trailer to Watch (And Keel Over Laughing About)…

So, I’m surprisingly alive, but I think I took a five-minute nod earlier. Anyway, this trailer for a Kickstarter funded film project is making the rounds and while it does pack a punch in few places, all that green screen work is a wee bit TOO perfect for an 80’s action flick. Yeah, yeah, it’s cheesy and hilarious, but somehow, the perfect mattes and effects seem more out of a full-motion video game than an intentionally awful movie that would have landed in a theater around 1987 or later. Granted, if this WAS a game project, I’d pony up a sack of pennies in a heartbeat (BOOM!). But as it is, this is going to make its target without a dime from me and make a lot of people smile in the process. Granted, this could end up like the next Snakes on a Plane if the jokes wear too thin, as what’s here is basically an expensive Saturday Night Live short film that’s stretched to what’s seemingly feature length. That said, you have to love the computer effects and Nintendo Power Glove with the finger tips cut off (those things were always too tight for adults unless they has kid-sized mitts) plus a few other things…

Sleep Less and See Cattle…

Reese_01Let me tell you right now, dear readers, today is going to be nuts in all the best ways (and perhaps a few worst ones). Yours truly got not a wink of sleep last night. Not a wink. None. ero (as in no Z’s, ha ho ha haa).

It’s not that I intended to stay up all night long, ladies and germs. I just had my head filled to the brim with deep thoughts (and not so deep thoughts), couldn’t sleep and figured I’d go play a game until I passed out in front of the TV. Usually, that or a bad movie will do the trick within about half an hour to an hour, but before I knew it, Mr. Sun was peeping in the back room window and I was staring at the TV with big saucer eyes (see left). Now, I could have simply shut everything down and headed straight to bed (the smart thing), but noooooo… I had some important stuff to tackle…

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Random Film of the Week: Night of the Juggler

(thanks, TaylorHamKid!)

night of the juggler MPWhile reminiscing with a guy I hadn’t seen for close to 20 years this week, this flick came up in our conversation and I had to rush out to write about it while the memory was still fresh. After the great 1972 ABC telefilm Short Walk to Daylight and 1980’s compellingly crazy action/drama Night of the Juggler,  I still say James Brolin should have stuck around and made a third New York-centric film to complete some sort of unconnected trilogy about an otherwise decent cop who’s having some really bad days in the Big Apple.

The former film was about survivors of an earthquake (in New York City of all places!) trying to make it out of some deadly subway tunnels with Brolin’s cop leading the way and the latter has his divorced ex-cop now truck driver character chasing after the maniac that’s mistakenly kidnapped his daughter. Neither is legally available on DVD (and it’s a darn shame, I say), but if you’re clever and know how to use the internet, there are ways to snag both gems for your viewing pleasure… Continue reading