Yes, these are snazzy viral teasers for the RoboCop reboot in case you were thinking I found the key to a TARDIS somewhere and stupidly ONLY brought back this stuff from the future. I’d actually go back to the past a few times and stock up on old comics and a few Van Goghs plus push a few would be dictators off of high balconies or something like that.
Ahem, any-waaaay, these lead ups are quite amusing for sure… now it’s up to the movie to take off and fly right into that box office stratosphere or something corny like that. My mind is otherwise occupied today, so you’ll need to take what’s served up today, sorry!
I may be a hopeless romantic (okay, okay … only sometimes!) but even I’m not a sucker for the big budget blockbuster romance film. Still, I sit through a few when I have the time to kill or get trapped and its the only damn thing to look at that won’t get me in trouble. Edward Zwick’s great-looking Legends of the Fall made me laugh out loud many times when I first saw it on a long airplane flight and it still makes me laugh today.
I laugh more now because I believe the airplane cut was a tiny bit shorter than the theatrical version, but back on that trip, I laughed louder because I’d fallen asleep during the screening and woke up a few hours later only to find the film replaying again almost exactly from the same spot as if it were waiting for me like a long lost love. Burning up the screen with more testosterone and scenery chewing from about everyone in the cast, this is one of those films that may have led to a few breakups among couples where one dragged the other to see this expensive pot-boiled turkey and the aftermath was about as wild as the fast-motion/freeze frame bear fight that pops up near the ending.
So, here they come. The first of many TV spots for this upcoming remake. Is it me or are people THAT jaded now that this otherwise fine-looking remake/reboot might not be as big as some on the internet are saying? Eh, not that I pay much mind to what others say on the Internet, mind you. I’m just worried that our new “wait it out” culture will wait it out for the first big early review that merely mentions a flaw, cross their collective arms with a mighty “SEE!,I told you it would suck!” and then go torrent the video off some pirate site only to discover it’s not the train wreck they thought. Of course, trying to get those people to pay for anything entertainment wise is a tough haul, but Hollywood loves to keep trying. Me, I think the film will do just fine when it hits a multiplex near you next month.
Of course, I still CAN’T see any darn movies at all around here now that the two closest movie houses are DEAD. Boo. What kind of crap area is this now? We USED to have five theaters in walking distance not so long ago. My “local” theater is now something like four or five miles away at least. Probably more, as I haven’t checked around for a replacement theater in a while. Eh, small world problem considering REAL issues facing too many these days, right? But hey, little things (like a decent cinema) DO mean a lot to some folks…
That said, I think even Sony realizes the insanity of forcing PS4 owners to pay for the “privilege” of multiplayer gaming on their new console. Stick around until the end of this trailer and note how that stupid little thing about paying to play online is shoved in quickly at the end. Granted, they just hit you on the head HARD with the free games mallet and you’re already so dizzy you didn’t even realize you’d whipped out that credit card and signed up. The free games are MORE than worth that $50 and yes, Sony’s not kidding about that “instant game library” thing. The drawback to this is STORAGE space, as even though you get free cloud saves and a nicely sized HDD this time out (which is still small when you consider the size of some new games), you can’t access them should PSN go down for the count for a few days or even a few hours for simple maintenance.
Thankfully, the PS4 will play disc games and anything you have stored locally offline if the game has offline play. Anyway, I think they need to DUMP the requirement to pay to play MP games, as it’s NOT a privilege at all. If a game is made to be played online, any fee should be part of the price of the game, period. Asking people to pony up as part of a package is lame, even if they do get what amounts to a few thousand bucks a year in free content. Granted, having thee time to PLAY all those freebies AND buy and play NEW games requires either quitting one’s day job, renting out a TARDIS so you can go back in time to fire up a game, complete it and go back to start a new one and some other time magic. But hey, who can pass up FREE when the buffet is so tantalizing?
Hoo boy, I do love Harlan Ellison. I haven’t read much by the man lately thanks to me reading less over time (something I’m slowly rectifying thanks to people around these parts), but everything I’ve EVER picked up by the man has been a fine read and has never failed to disappoint. We’ve actually met twice, but the last time was so long ago that Forbidden Planet here in NYC had a store uptown near the formerly 59th Street Bridge. Anyway, another Christmas gift for me today was that video above of the man himself poking an elbow in the eyeball of Disney’s new flick, Saving Mr. Banks. Yeah, it’s a long-ish rant if you’re of the short attention span crowd, but it’s ten minutes worth of fine and fair poking at the film, praising the acting while making sure you know that yes, Virginia, movies and particularly movies made with an agenda aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
Granted, those who read a good deal know exactly what he’s getting on about, but given that the film (like much of Hollywood’s output) is made for the casual viewing crowd that eats up the feel good follies week by week, I’m sure as hell sure that THOSE people don’t know the real deal.
So, not only will there be a sequel to Rise of the Planet of the Apes, it looks as if this time it’s (even more) war as ape versus ape action will fill theaters next July and get the CG fans screaming. Me? I’ll wait for the cable premiere, as all these computer-made flicks just get on my nerves after anything over five minutes of otherwise hard work that’s failing to keep my interest the more of these effects hit me over the head. I’m NOT getting jaded at all, mind you. I just miss the days of practical work looking better in some respects and not as “perfect” because every motion is animated to a “T” and overemphasized to the point that it looks TOO realistic or worse, you get those “impossible to capture with a real camera” moments piled one atop the other and it’s basically not the director directing any longer. Yeah, we’ll see… we’ll see. It looks interesting and all, but if it’s not as “kinda fun” as Rise was, I’ll be sending a box of rotten banana peels to Fox with a mildly nasty note…
Hey, kids! Happy Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and all that rot! I had to open one of my presents early in order to tell you what my brain and eyeballs say about it, so here you go. This post is my little contribution to The Cinematic Katzenjammer’s Not-So-Secret Santa Review Swap. It’s definitely not a holiday flick (nor a joyous one), but you never know what you’ll get from Saint Nick when he drops something down your chimney. You just need to review it and hope you do a good job at it… OR ELSE. Anyway, grab some eggnog, pull up a comfy chair, put the pet of choice on your lap and read on!
I have a particular problem with most ghost stories in film thanks to zero continuity or lineage in the mythos from one tale to another across the globe. Yes, I’ve seen dozens of great films from mildly spooky to downright scare me under the furniture freaky in over 46 years of watching movies, but their level of effectiveness is more due to great writing and acting than these tales making any sort of logical sense from one to another. That said, after watching it twice, I can very safely say that The Lovely Bones is a beautiful looking, wonderfully shot and mostly terrifically acted movie that for me, was manipulative, frustrating and not at all satisfying to watch.
Even Brian Eno swiping his own music from tracks on Here Come The Warm Jets (one of my favorite albums) and adding them to his often ethereal score can’t save this film from its weaknesses. Then again, maybe it’s me being cranky here? After all, Peter Jackson and I have some unspoken grief beef ever since 1996’s The Frighteners made me want to strangle myself in my sleep after I saw it and the overkill of way too many CG effects and too much trying to be too funny and too serious simultaneously beat a whole theater of paying saps into a blue-green hued coma. That said, this 2009 film makes that old one look a lot more palatable and enjoyable in comparison… Continue reading →
SEVEN months away and they’re running trailers from what looks like a complete film? Well, this isn’t the first sci-fi flick that’s rolled out footage so early, but to me, this is Warner Bros. and Mr. Control making sure action fans get their drool on and line up like good little droogies by the time trailer 19 rolls around in a few weeks or so. Yeah, I’m no big Tom fan these days for a few reasons, but I will say this looks exciting to a point. Then again, he’s not getting any younger, so he’s going to be making with the acrobatics until someone carries him off to that other planet he thinks he’s going to be going to in real life. Eh, as long as it’s better than Elysium was. I was hitting myself in the head with a piece of popcorn that rolled under the coffee table here about an hour into that one. It’s called tough love, people…
So, for about a month or so on and off I’ve tried to sit through Sam Raimi’s Oz The Great and Powerful, but it’s just not happening. Although the movie is loud, packed full of visual effects and bright and colorful in spots when it’s not dark and moody, the effect on my eyes and brain has been like riding in a huge mall elevator packed with noisy kids and pissed off parents. It’s just not good. I like pieces of it and some of the characters, but I can’t put a finger on what the heck is bugging me so much. On a whim to see if I’m just Oz’ed out or something (and thanks to an alert in my YouTube subscriptions), I checked the All Public Domain site and watched the incomplete 1914 silent film Magic Cloak of Oz and had a much better time with that. Have a look:
Granted, THAT film clocks in at just over 40 minutes and seems to be missing a lot of stuff, but it’s pretty cool for what it is because it’s so old yet so full of creativity. Now, I happen to like most of Sam Raimi’s films quite a lot, but I just could not stay awake through or have my attention held by this one. In other words, my sense of wonder was not activated one bit. OK, the little porcelain doll was cute, but I didn’t sit down to see a cute doll get in and out of trouble by the painted skin of her porcelain teeth. Hmmmm. A friend who saw this and liked it said I just need to see it with someone poking me in the ribs every ten minutes, but he has a wife to do that and I just have a bunch of plants that don’t do well if I move them from their favorite spot. Eh, perhaps I’ll throw on some coffee and try again in a week or so. I have other stuff to do and this flick is more a low-priority item than something I need to tackle right away…
For some people, anything resembling sexual behavior in a video game seems to set them off ranting about things they don’t want to do (play the game in public or show it off to friends and family) or didn’t see at all thanks to overreacting and imposing arbitrary rules of the real world where it never needs to be. All I’ll say is this: if you can watch this music video without curling up into a ball in a corner and whining about it being too racy or sexist or prurient, you’re probably mature enough to play (and even enjoy) Valhalla Knights 3.
K2’s new Vita exclusive may not be the best looking game on Sony’s handheld and what’s here often feels a wee bit unfinished, needing actual interactivity in the environments in the form of destructible objects and structures that could be actually entered in some outdoor maps. While there are some amusing and dramatic moments to be found, the main plot could have also used a bit more spice, as it offers up some interesting ideas that don’t mature past a certain point… Continue reading →
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 