Ah, ha, ha. I was reading some comments on a few sites about this trailer and yeah, they’re so emotional that the film looks so good or so annoyed that there’s no NEW footage showing up on demand that I’m chuckling a wee bit too much for my own good. Look, kids… it’s a Warner Bros. Pictures film. What does that mean? It means give it a month or so you you will be BURIED in trailers for this one to the point where some of you accuse the company of showing TOO much of this one. It’ll happen, mark my words. Well, at least I haven’t been hearing any rumblings about a new video game coming down the pike. Supes has never really done well when he flies solo…
I guess a post title like “In Case Of Emergency, BREAK GLASS. Slash Wrists With GLASS” is too extreme, huh? Anyway, the film is doing as I thought, as in fine with most horror fans and OK to so-so with critics who don’t quite see what the fuss is about or worse, go in with Cabin in the Woods expectations. Whatever. I didn’t like Cabin that much (despite it doing some fun things with the genre), the SCREAM movies annoyed me (again, some fun stuff, but overrated AND too many sequels) and don’t even get me started on those “found footage” flicks where someone has an old video camera with the battery life of a Galaxy Note III. Yeah, you Blair Witch Project. That ending was freaky, but I didn’t feel the least bit frightened by the rest of the film (and I’ve seen it three times just to make sure).
Hmmm… I don’t believe in “ghosts” either, so Paranormal Activity made me laugh at the people in the theater jumping at flying sheets or whatever. And as for The Exorcist? The hospital scenes were FAR scarier than any of that head spinning possessed crap. Which means the more superstitious you are, the least likely your survival odds will be when that ASPCA truck full of black cats tips over near that outdoor mall sale on ladders and mirrors which will get your heart racing before some kid running out of that mall in his 90% off Halloween costume (he’ll be a ghost or the devil) puts you down for the count. Welcome to your nightmare!
OK, maybe I’m too much of a curmudgeon here, but I won’t tell you what NOT to watch as it’s up to you where you eat your popcorn at the end of the day…
So much for the “He’s a cool exec with a heart of steel” stuff, huh? When the man gets mad, he gets really mad, so if you’re reading this post and wearing ten rings on your fingers (even if you’re not The Mandarin, which means you also have bells on your toes), you should be shaking in your boots and fancy robe (yeah, you KNOW you have one on right now – I won’t tell a soul). Anyway, let’s see now… 48 seconds… times la, la… carry the one… OK, at this rate Marvel can show the entire movie on YouTube in something like 57 more of these clips and you won’t have to pay a DIME to see it. Unless they figure out a way to may you PAY to use YouTube (cue *JINX!* music)…
OK, here we go. I’m really not much of a fan of the guy these days, as his real-life issues with real people get in the way of me enjoying anything he’s done over the past few years. He’s been in some good to great films, yes… but all I think when I see any character he plays is of someone who thinks KNOWS he’s better than all of us who aren’t him and he’s got all the best ideas bottled up in his perfect little head and even thought he’ll bend your ear off yakking about them, Nyah, Nyah, you can’t be like him at all because he’s got the bestest destiny in the world (or out of this world). Bleh. I’d rather give myself an eyewash with century old absinthe in a dirty bottle than see this one, but for those of you who want to, go right on ahead. If you DO go, I have an idea: I say ALL the proceeds from this latest soon to be released TC love-fest should go to getting that man onto the next rocket to Mars one way and that’s that. Pack in a few of his deluded pals for company and toss in a film camera or two so we can see the messy results of an ego trip gone haywire. So, yeah – that’s an endorsement from me to check this out.
Just think of it as helping out a really good charity at the end of the day…
OK, I liked the first one because it was insanely silly and serious in that weird way (sort of like the love child of Scorcese, Apatow and Hal Ashby), but a sequel? Really? Yeesh. Granted, this trailer did make me laugh a little bit, but I’m also getting a Hangover from these serio-comedies that some studios keep feeling the need to give new installments. Sometimes, meeting a certain type of person ONCE in a lifetime is more than enough, I say. Hell, at this rate that In Bruges sequel should be rolling up at a theater near you in oh, about six months or so. By the way, that’s a big in-joke considering how that film ended. Go check it out if you haven’t – it’s absolutely NOT for all tastes, but it’s pretty damned hilarious if you’re an adult with a decent sense of humor who knows every movie isn’t a mirror to actual events…
As directorial debuts go, Michael Cimino’s 1974 film Thunderbolt and Lightfoot makes for a weird and wild first film that’s chock full of quirky characters, absurd situations and plenty of action. It’s also one of Clint Eastwood’s best performances of that decade as Thunderbolt, but Jeff Bridges steals the film with his offbeat Lightfoot, a happy-go lucky misfit who’d teamed up with Eastwood after he inadvertently saves his bacon from an assassin. The film is part drama, part comedy, part action and all Cimino rolling the dice, letting his cast have their way with his script and whipping out a wild ride that’s still a pretty memorable movie. Just the absurdity of Thunderbolt pulling off a bank job using a wheeled 20mm cannon is reason enough to see this, but toss in Bridges in drag at one point plus a crazy guy in a car with a raccoon and trunk full of rabbits, shake well and watch what happens… Continue reading →
Amusingly enough, this trailer from the upcoming Carrie remake has actually been criticized a bit too harshly for basically spoiling the entire film even more so than most other genre flick trailers. While this may indeed be true, it’s actually just copying the same marketing from the 1976 original, which by the way, WORKED fine in filling seats way back then. Check out both (look up! Look down!) and see what I’m babbling about.
Granted, Brian De Palma’s film was probably a great deal more shocking back then this remake will be seen as when it hits theaters, but we’ll see if the actors in the new film can deliver performances as memorable as those in the original. As always, class… we shall see… we shall see…
OK, we get TWO TV ads in one day for this upcoming soon to be blockbuster? Hey, don’t blame me, blame Marvel for posting them so far apart. Anyway, what’s up with the oddball aspect ration? Sure, it looks awesome, but WordPress defaults these videos into such a tiny size that this will look like a Band-Aid in the post. Eh, I’m SURE you all know you can play this full screen so you can see what’s going on, right? Anyway, I wouldn’t mind finding out if anyone out there actually has a working Cinerama screen setup to show off, as I’d love to see some of those old films in that crazy wide view they ran in. I’ve only caught some stuff on TCM, but no TV out there can do the format justice…
Well, I guess a world full of Iron Man suits zipping around is whole hell of a lot better thing to imagine than one where every super-powered wannabee was completely and unflinchingly NUTS, right? Imagine the “crimes” being dealt with by costumed crazies that thought the smallest offense was punishable by a beat-down or worse? Well, that’s been done a few times in comics, books and films, so I won’t cover that ground again. That said, Kick-Ass 2 looks like it’ll be a winner, provided the culture here isn’t too turned off by the ultra-violence. Fat chance on that, by the way, as we seem to LOVE being outraged by mass media more than actual violence in some cases. “This town NEEDS an enema!” Indeed. From the brain down, folks…
One thing that’s going to get a lot of people into those theater seats is all those Iron Man suits zipping around like they’re coming off an assembly line. I can’t imagine this in real life, as all you’d see outside would be Fat Iron Man, Too Low Pants Iron Man, Homeless Iron Man, Slow Old Lady Iron Man (they fly in packs), Letting That Dog Poop On The Street And Not Cleaning It Up Iron Man and a few other annoying and impervious to damage Iron Man suits in action. Bleh. It’s the new Rascal (or Weasel, given that company’s legal woes of late). And THIS, dear reader, is WHY we have movies to watch. You get the hell away from real life for two hours at a time (not counting 20 minutes of trailers)…
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 