More Carrie? OK, Double Jeopardy With A “Telekinetic” Twist!

Posted on October 10, 2013 by geelw

One clip, a quick TV spot and that dopey prank pulled here in NYC on some unsuspecting citizens strolling into a coffee shop. Of course, in that latter gag, my brain saw the holes in this one right off the bat. If that’s a neighborhood place that’s been open a while, wouldn’t any regulars NOTICE that new wall there or be miffed that their favorite spot was replaced by a wall. Okay, maybe the place was shut for construction with a sign on the door or whatever. Also, a few of those people look as if they were bought in by the studio to act surprised at the action. Granted, most look genuinely shocked, but in this damn city, SOMEONE would have called the cops even on the first scare.

Yeah, I’d have been that ONE guy standing there at the cashier laughing and looking for wires on that guy and wall while still trying to get my damn coffee with a hearty “Hey crazy lady! take that shoving tables crap down the block to McDonalds!” Hell, I’d have even offered her a nice, tasty plain aspirin (I keep a bottle in my bag at all times). Yeah, I’m VERY hard to market anything to. I just like what I like and try to get you do like it as well…

Carrie opens nationwide (except the theater where I live that’s closed. Stupid theater!) on October 18, 2013.

Escape From Tomorrow Trailer: Disney Probably Wants To Hold A Little Necktie Party…

Posted on October 9, 2013 by geelw

Wow. If this is as incredibly insane as it looks (and it looks like a David Lynch film gone haywire), I may just have a film of the year candidate to go see in a few days. Randy Moore’s guerrilla-shot first film most likely has Disney seething for any number of reasons, but we’ll see where that goes on the legal front, as the House of Mouse tends to be VERY protective of their image and imagery. Well, not anywhere near ME, as that last movie theater is STILL shut and I have NO clue as to what’s going on. Granted, I could just VOD it, but that’s too expensive for me and nope, I can’t watch it on the iDevices I have in the house, as none are connected and I’m not giving Apple any more of my information.

Hmmm… as this looks like a really bad (and bad-ass) nightmare, I can always try to replicate it by smacking myself with a rubber mallet in the head after taking four ZzzQuil, but I’m sure that will be the last thing I remember doing before waking up at the morgue. Ah well. I guess I’ll have to hols out for a DVD or Blu-Ray release. I was going to say I’d watch this on IFC or Sundance Channel, but they’ve been RUINING their channels with commercials just like regular and some cable TV networks. Boo. I’m hard to market stuff to, so ads never grab me unless they’re terminally stupid or pushing some stuff I already plan on buying.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug TV Spots 1 & 2: Only A Year (Or Less) ‘Til Cable!

Posted on October 8, 2013 by geelw

OK, don’t shoot me, movie people. I’ve decided to wait until this one pops up on cable TV, as the first film is (not so surprisingly) premiering later this month (on HBO, I think). So much for the normal waiting time that used to be at least a year or so after a major film hit theaters. At this point, it’ll seem to some as if the only reason to go to the movies is just to get out of the house and see a flick on something larger than that already too large HDTV you may own (or the big wall you project movies on). OK, widescreen is also a good reason, but most new films are ending up premiering in that theatrical format to the point that I get annoyed when I see a recent or older film that SHOULD be in that aspect ratio run as a crappy pan & scan version. B to the O to the O, cable and movie people who still do that crap. Even an old analog set can play a widescreen movie in letterbox format, so enough with the old versions already, I say. The ONLY films that need to fill up my screen like that are the classics TCM shows that weren’t originally shot that way. OK, old cartoons and classic TV get a pass as well.

Of course, if you’re impatient or just love seeing films on a big screen with hordes of smelly humans around you, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug opens in theaters on December 13, 2013. Everyone else, set your clocks…

Carrie “Get In Your Closet” Clip: Oh, We’ve ALL Been There Before, Right?

Posted on October 7, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, so… who HASN’T had to “go to the closet” at some point in their lives? Poor Carrie above only has those telekinetic powers and a nutso mommy to worry about. I know us folks in the real world need to toss ourselves in and shut the door for a while when we pull off those major boners and need a time out while the walls fall in. Say, did you know a nice clean closet with a few blankets tossed on the floor and lots of long coats and shirts and such makes a PERFECT nap spot? Bill collectors, pissed off parents and anyone else can look up and down and all around for you but that’s THE last place they’ll ever, ever look. Of course, if you have a pet at home, you’re screwed plus tax, as those cute little bums will always sniff you out. Hell, you could have the most stoned out, never ever fetched a darn thing in its life lazy ass Scooby-Don’t as a pet and as soon as you get into that closet, he’s nosing open the door to lay on top of those blankets you’re under. Bad dog! BAD!

Um, oh yeah… Carrie is in theaters October 18. I can’t see it because I have no movie theater near me now. Maybe I’ll go take a nap in the closet instead…

Shout Factory’s The Vincent Price Collection: Timely, Indeed (Warts and All)…

Posted on October 7, 2013 by geelw

Someone hipped me to this upcoming Shout Factory box set of six classic horror flicks featuring the late, great Vincent Price (who’s also Star of the Month on TCM all October) and I had to give it a thumb and a three-quarters up just for that lovely cover art alone. Oh, alright, the six sick flicks here are all top picks (and on Blu-Ray for the first time, I believe). But I’d still have to gripe out a grape sized whine about the total lack of love for Doctor Phibes Rises Again, which SHOULD have been grafted into this sextet just because it’s the darn sequel to The Abominable Doctor Phibes and yes, I’m STILL waiting my ass off for Tim Burton to announce he’s remaking both Phibes philms at the same time like Peter Jackson did with his epic The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Granted, Phibes’ offbeat mix of camp and 70’s era gore “lite” isn’t anywhere on the same level as Tolkein’s works, folks. But hey, I grew up glued to the tube with many of Price’s films and those two hold a very special place in my still beating heart. Hey, it’s not as if I’m asking for Scream and Scream Again, right? RIGHT? If you ever see that one, you’ll understand, kids…

Anyway, if you’re too lazy to click links, that collection costs $55, features tons of special features and the six films are as follows:

THE PIT & THE PENDULUM

THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH

THE HAUNTED PALACE

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER

THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES

WITCHFINDER GENERAL (aka THE CONQUEROR WORM)

Who needs to go out on Halloween and get a tummy ache from some lousy cheap candy bought at the dollar store? Get this Blu-Ray set, pop up that dried out corn display you’ve had on the table for years and sprinkle some chili powder on it, slap a few razor blades into a pomegranate (apples are SO last century!) pull up a chair and veg out! Friends optional, but go “borrow” some (have some rope and gags handy) so you can show them a good time before you kick them out in a more bewildered but appreciative state (like Maine or maybe California, ha ha)…

GRAVITY Is Number 1, So NWA World Has Some Fun…

Posted on October 7, 2013 by geelw

Of course, when you’re on top of the world (or a few hundred miles above it), your success become ripe for the picking at from a few sources. The folks at NMA World pull no punches here with their take on deleted scenes, but you may need a refresher course on current Chinese news and history in order to get everything here. I still haven’t seen Gravity yet as the movie theater near me is still closed and I’m completely clueless (well, a bit more clueless than usual) as to when it will reopen. If I don’t see any life signs there within a week, I just may need to settle for traveling a bit. I certainly WON’T go for a cheap Chinese bootleg at all (fake outtakes or not), as this is the sort of flick that needs money going where it’s supposed to when all is said and done…

I, Frankenstein Trailer: Me, Annoyed To No End, Actually…

Posted on October 7, 2013 by geelw

I was going to to this whole post in a sort of Solomon Grundy/Chief Wild Eagle “voice”, but that would be SO incredibly non PC that I’d have comic fans AND native American protesters lined up outside the home office. Hey, MORE traffic is good for my site, folks… but not traffic that wants to run you over for real, (ha, ha, ouch!)… ANYWAY, yuk. I do not like this upcoming “horror”/action flick one bit because it reminds me on those increasingly harder to sit through Underworld movies and other so-called horror/action blockbusters that cater to the forgiving crowd that only knows traditional monsters from more modern film efforts. Granted, I could be wrong and this one could be a big surprise. But on the other hand and foot, all those CGI monsters, fiery spiral explosions and fast cuts don’t promise much other than a film that will make your brain feel as if it’s been forcefully removed from your head by a cockeyed hunchback and placed into the body of a person who just forgot what he or she spent that ticket money on an hour and a half ago.

Oh, great… now I have Underworld fans on my ass now. But that’s OK. I’ll fight them in the pouring rain (by not showing up and sending the pack of rabid raccoons and Go Go Gophers I keep in the spare room here), which will wash their goth mascara into their eyes and make the street slippery so they’ll fall on their asses in those cheap shoes they bought from Hot Topic with the no good for rain soles. Yeah, I’m a bad man… but you asked for it.

Thor: The Dark World Clip: Loki Pulls Joker Mode Off Fairly Well…

Posted on October 6, 2013 by geelw

Alright, for some reason I got a Dark Knight vibe from this clip, but that doesn’t mean this Thor sequel will rise to those heights at all. Granted, I’m also not too thrilled that all we seem to be getting out of Hollywood are more sequels, comic book movies, the same romantic comedies and dramas with different casts and overblown “based on/inspired by a true story” films that in most cases pale in comparison to classics and some foreign films. On one hand, I can just say “oh well, that’s showbiz!” as I stay home and wait for the home video and/or cable TV premiere dates to roll in (which are all sooner than later these days). On the other hand, given that people aren’t going to the movies as much in some spots, Hollywood seems to feel that the best way to get people lining up is to overheat that Xerox machine. Oh well, we almost all love beautiful-looking things (or so the suits who run things hope)…

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit Trailer: Like It or Else, Life Goes On In the Clancyverse…

Posted on October 4, 2013 by geelw

Quite a number of years ago I was leaving a press event at a hotel here in NYC and on the elevator ride down there was a guy in the back of the car who looked like an older Patton Oswalt. That got me grinning and thinking comical thoughts to myself until the elevator stopped a few floors down, a man gets on and says a cheery “Hello Mr. Clancy!” before proceeding to discuss one of his books that had recently been turned into a film. Of course, I turned a few shades of red when I realized it was THAT Tom Clancy and fortunately I didn’t embarrass myself any further. Anyway, some people think Paramount Pictures is running this new Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit trailer in bad taste since Tom Clancy died earlier this week, but I’d have to say it’s business as usual on the entertainment scene front. Of course, if this was rolled out early as a result of Mr. Clancy’s sudden death in order to generate interest in the upcoming film… yeah, then it’s quite despicable from a few viewpoints.

Gravity “Now Playing” Spots 1 & 2: What Are You Doing At Home Reading This?

Posted on October 4, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, YOU. get out there and go see this one before somebody you know does and blabs out the ending or whatever. Amusingly enough, I can’t even see it if I wanted to in a non-3D version as the movie theater near me closed down (!) with no notice. Which stinks as there used to be three or four within walking distance many years back and they’re all something else now. BOO. If I want to go to the movies now, it’s a few miles walk or a bus trip (but I’m a cheap bastard and I’d probably hoof it on a nice day). So go see this and if you run into me on the way to the movies, don’t tell me a damn thing, grrr…