E3 2013: Oh, Microsoft… You’re Making This TOO Easy…

Posted on June 14, 2013 by geelw

(video swiped from YouTuber Rinoa Leonhart)

So, the Xbox One. Yeah, THAT Xbox One. Did you know it has the computational POWER of ten Xbox 360’s? No? Well, Microsoft says so and while it’s probably true as the sky is blue (under certain circumstances) and the sun always rises even if you can’t see it (always, so far). Amusingly enough… I was planning to post that clip above BEFORE this article appeared (you WILL laugh at some point while reading it, trust me), but I got busy tinkering on a review and man, I feel as if they’re writing my lame comedy material for me and I don’t even OWN a Kinect.

At this point in damage control mode, you have to wonder when they’ll just start sending out white or black vans rolling around neighborhoods to grab random strangers off the street and MAKE them play a game just to show off how much POWER their system has. POWER, I tells ya… Granted, you still can’t use it offline unless you’re online first (subject to change based on day of the week and a update to the licensing agreement) and that new Kinect is always on even if you shut it “off”, but POWER! Wondrous working POWER… *Crack*, BOOOOOM!!!

OK, OK… I’ll knock it off now… Jeez…

?able Humor: Bad Day Rising? Mr. O’Connor Will Set You Straight in 4:08…

Posted on June 6, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, ozabbavo77!)

I remember when I didn’t like musicals much at all, but I’d say that was because I didn’t watch too many of them. I started to fall for them gradually by way of their sneaky as hell way of cracking me up with their precise choreography, offbeat choice of locations or just the sheer number of performers hoofing it up with broad smiles and seemingly not breaking a sweat. I know I nearly fell off a chair laughing the first time I saw Busby Berkeley’s name in a film’s credits because it sounded exactly like the name of someone who’d throw a hundred women and a handful of men into a huge studio and make them dance on a big revolving tower cake staircase a few stories tall until they were doing it in their sleep (and perhaps wanted him a little bit dead for that kind of torture)…

Continue reading →

Hump Day With The Ross Sisters: Don’t Get It Twisted, Mister…

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

I’d forgotten all about the almost forgettable 1944 musical Broadway Rhythm until I was flipping around with the remote looking for something to work to as background noise for a bit of writing and boom, I see that TCM is showing the wonderful documentary That’s Entertainment III, an instant watch just for the old Hollywood history lesson and ton of rejected clips and alternate takes from more great MGM musicals. Anyway, they ran the end of this incredible dance sequence featuring The Ross Sisters (their sole film appearance) and as I watched it, I recalled I’d seen part of this film before, but changed the channel just before the “Solid Potato Salad” number where the gals do their thing.

Ouch, and ouch and ouch – all this clip reminds me of is how I really need to exercise more. Well, not to THAT point of flexibility, though. Hell, I almost broke a hip watching this. Anyway, nope, no special effects or stunt doubles here – just a lot of practice and probably no chemically packed fast food slowing them down one bit. Er, don’t try this at home, folks. Or at least keep an ambulance on speed dial…

Shout Factory Keeps The 70’s Rolling Along With Some Genre Classics…

Posted on June 4, 2013 by geelw

Seeing these three films pop up on the Shout Factory site almost makes me feel old, except for they got me excited that they’re back in circulation, so I’m bouncing around the room. OK, not so much at my age… but any activity is good when you get this creaky. I added the road movie from hell Race With the Devil as a Random Film of the Week last year, but haven’t got around to Electra Glide in Blue (a really good, quirky cop flick with one of those depressing 70’s endings) and Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry, a pretty cool extended car chase flick with some great action and yep, another smasher of an ending sequence.

Hmmm, with all this road wreckage, wild hippie women, devil worshipers doing their thing in the woods and assorted traffic cops going through really lousy workdays, it’s a wonder real people drove ANYWHERE during this period. Well, they had to go to the movies too, so I’d gather an evening at the drive-in for a triple feature of all three might have been happening somewhere out there back in the day…

Anyway, that’s two more films I’ll need to add to the RFotW pile – stay tuned…

Random Film of the Week(end)*: Dementia 13

Posted on May 27, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, drbloodsvideovault!)

dementia 13 Sure, it’s a quickly made post-Psycho cash-in with the added shock value of a character getting decapitated on screen (a rather nifty cheap effect if you’ve never seen this flick before), but thanks to a creepier tone and some nicely tense lensing by a young director named Francis Ford Coppola, Dementia 13 manages to be a pretty decent little horror film.

Granted, if you pay enough attention past making popcorn and turning your brain off to watch this one, much of the script and more of the dialogue make about as much sense as a cat driving an oil tanker full of Tater Tots down a freeway on the way to the mall. But on its own merits, it’s a fine directorial debut brought in on a shoestring by the director and enhanced by producer Roger Corman to include the aforementioned head removal and some other elements he thought would punch things up a a bit more…

Continue reading →

The Burning [Collector’s Edition]: Once Again, Shout Factory Mutates Into Scream Factory…

Posted on May 15, 2013 by geelw

the burning blu-ray_dvd Man, I haven’t seen The Burning in YEARS, but thankfully, Shout Factory’s Scream Factory arm is bringing it back to life, and on a bonus-filled Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack at that. If you’ve never seen this 1981 cult classic, carve out a space under or behind the couch, pop in this flick and get prepared to lose a lung screaming as the horrifically disfigured camp caretaker Cropsy gets revenge on the teens who accidentally set him ablaze in a prank gone wrong.

Yeah, it’s got some minor to moderate similarities to Friday the 13th (which, along with its sequel lifts some of its bloody murders directly from Mario Bava’s awesome gore classic Twitch of the Death Nerve), but hey, at that time, these horror flicks were being churned out pretty quickly and a little gleeful borrowing here and there wasn’t a crime at all. That and hell, Tom Savini doing the effects on both this and Friday meant you were getting the best Hollywood gore for that ticket money. That and hell, Holly Hunter and Jason Alexander are in this one! Do they survive? Mwah-ha-ha-haaaa… you’ll need to watch and find out!

Anyway, you modern gore fans (aka “Meddling kids!”) who want to see something old farts like me were into back in the day should definitely check this “moldy oldie” from the 80’s out. And yeah, yeah you aged sticklers for gory detail, the original poster art for the film is on the reverse of that new, more colorful cover art. You think Shout Factory’s going to leave you hanging? As always, they’re killing you with kindness…

Random Film of the Day*: The Valley of Gwangi

Posted on May 12, 2013 by geelw

*For the next week or so, I’m going to add a random film the great Ray Harryhausen worked on. The legendary special effects MASTER passed away on May 7, 2013 at age 92 in London and yes, the film world owes him more than they can ever repay…

Gwangi 1969’s The Valley of Gwangi is a bit of a bittersweet classic for many fans of Harryhausen’s work. By this time, stop motion animated fantasy films weren’t drawing the audiences they did ten years earlier, so this film didn’t get the promotion it deserved. It wasn’t the first cowboy meets dinosaur flick at all – that honor goes to 1956’s The Beast of Hollow Mountain, produced by Harryhausen’s mentor, Willis O’Brien.

While that older film’s effects weren’t done by O’Brien (and despite a few cool scenes, it showed), Harryhausen’s vision for the project (which O’Brien had wanted to do for decades) links the two masters together thanks to some incredible animation that ended up being the final dinosaur film he worked on in his career…
Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week(end): Reptilicus

Posted on May 12, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, horrormovieshows!)

After the successes of Godzilla and other Japanese and American giant monster movies in the 1950’s it seems that a few other countries wanted to get aboard the money train and come up with their own flicks featuring mutated reptiles or other gigantic beasts. Now, Denmark is the absolute last place I’d think of when I think “giant slimy lizard terrorizing the masses!”, but it seems that a combination of national pride and the over-eagerness of its Danish producers to make a big splash onto the scene brought the world Reptilicus … and TWO versions of it, to boot.

If you were a kid growing up in the US in the late 60’s and 70’s, this one was a staple on a few TV channels across the country, popping up either in the afternoon or evening and sometimes late at night to not scare you at all. In fact, I can recall seeing this as a kid and being baffled, then bored, then amazed at how bad and cheap the movie looked, but still watching it to the very end each time…
Continue reading →

Star Trek: Into Darkness “Vendetta” Trailer: 1 of 8 Is Better Than 7 of 9 (At Least Today)…

Posted on May 9, 2013 by geelw

Yikes. I decide to dive into some games this week and *BOOM!* all sorts of trailers and stuff get dumped on the Internet! Hell, Paramount alone posted something like seven or eight new trailers for J.J. Abrams’ upcoming Trek sequel (yikes!), but I won’t go and post them all. At least not today. Here’s one for now and I’ll get the rest up tomorrow at some point when I’m up for air. Well, I am a few posts behind in my new schedule, so I could cheat and do eight more Trek posts… but that would be really cheesy, so I won’t. Besides, I’ve got better ways of keeping your attention… hmm… this eyelash batting stuff is HARD. It looks like I’m having a seizure when I look in the mirror…

Oh, alright – here’s another teaser for you since my eyeballs are tired from all that flapping…

Random Film of the Week: The Window

Posted on May 6, 2013 by geelw

I remember seeing The Window as a kid on TV and probably laughing a wee bit too much because the lying wolf-crying brat who no one believed about the murder he finally DID see was getting his just desserts when all those chickens came home to roost. Seeing it a few times more as I got older (and thankfully, wiser) revealed a pretty sinister film noir thriller with probably the best child performance I’d ever seen in a film that old.

Granted, I’m not advocating the already generally creepy “Child in Danger!” flick or that entire sub-genre of flicks made throughout cinematic history as a “must-see” collection of films if you’ve got a very soft spot for your own brood of lovable lamp-breaking, cookie stealing ankle-biters. However, as a chilling little classic film that’s never been remade properly (at least in my humble opinion), it’s a total spine-shaker right from the beginning…

Continue reading →