RoboCop TV Spot #1: There’s A New Sheriff In Town (Metal Suit Version…)

Posted on January 7, 2014 by geelw

So, here they come. The first of many TV spots for this upcoming remake. Is it me or are people THAT jaded now that this otherwise fine-looking remake/reboot might not be as big as some on the internet are saying? Eh, not that I pay much mind to what others say on the Internet, mind you. I’m just worried that our new “wait it out” culture will wait it out for the first big early review that merely mentions a flaw, cross their collective arms with a mighty “SEE!,I told you it would suck!” and then go torrent the video off some pirate site only to discover it’s not the train wreck they thought. Of course, trying to get those people to pay for anything entertainment wise is a tough haul, but Hollywood loves to keep trying. Me, I think the film will do just fine when it hits a multiplex near you next month.

Of course, I still CAN’T see any darn movies at all around here now that the two closest movie houses are DEAD. Boo. What kind of crap area is this now? We USED to have five theaters in walking distance not so long ago. My “local” theater is now something like four or five miles away at least. Probably more, as I haven’t checked around for a replacement theater in a while. Eh, small world problem considering REAL issues facing too many these days, right? But hey, little things (like a decent cinema) DO mean a lot to some folks…

Keeping Casualties To A Minimum Next Black Friday May Become A “Thing” If This Takes Off…

Posted on January 6, 2014 by geelw

Yikes. While I’m NOT a mall person at all and generally dislike large crowds, I’d never, ever consider suicide as an option to too much mall trawling. Sadly, some poor guy in Jiangsu Province (in Eastern China) decided to end it all after five hours with his girlfriend this past Christmas, leaping from a balcony after she wanted to go to one more shop. Wow. Now, the kind of amusing thing here is this seems to be such a huge problem in China (men hating to shop with their wives and/or girlfriends, not men throwing themselves off balconies when they do too much shopping with their wives and/or girlfriends) that some areas actually have what amount to “husband check-in” stations that keep the king of beasts there pacified and sane, although probably still worrying about their bank balances after all that purchasing power happening below.

I think we should have these sorts of things here as well, but it seems that Hollywood already thought of that little problem way back in 1932, as you can see above in that fun old MGM short. Then again, maybe over-shopping was a bad thing for Depression-era America, but these days, man and women alike will run over each other just to spend five hours or more snapping up two dollar toasters and half-price sweat socks. Perhaps there can be both ladies and mens check-in areas just so staggered shopping becomes a new habit people pick up. Heck, they’ll certainly be staggering after a few free glasses of watered-down booze. Still, I’d be fully into some of this pre-Hays Code era relaxation if this were actually existing today at a retail paradise near me. Heck, the floor show would even get me out for a stroll even if I was already well stocked with tomatoes and peaches…

Random Film of the Week: Lizzie

Posted on December 16, 2013 by geelw

Released in the same year The Three Faces of Eve, 1957’s Lizzie covers the same thematic ground, albeit in a bit more unintentionally campy manner. Eleanor Parker plays Elizabeth and well as Beth and Lizzie, her two other personalities in this attempt at the “message” film sub-genre that Hollywood seemed to thrive on back then as writers and directors made more and more films with socially conscious and provocative subjects.

Although based on the novel The Bird’s Nest by Shirley Jackson and ably directed by Hugo Hass (who also has a small part in the film), compared to Eve and Joanne Woodward’s more realistic (and Oscar-winning) performance it’s far from a perfect film, especially when viewed today. For me, it’s the same thing with Otto Preminger’s classic The Man With the Golden Arm where the bulk of its otherwise deadly serious subject matter can be mined for comic gold because of some pointed overkill that may have been “shocking” in the 1950’s, but awesomely funny today. Parker’s role in that film was also well acted, but as her Zosh made me chuckle and cringe there, Lizzie here gets me grinning every time she takes over poor Elizabeth and starts gnawing on the scenery (and some poor man) to great effect… Continue reading →

Robocop Trailer #2: “He Has a Program. He’s Product!”

Posted on November 7, 2013 by geelw

Well, here it is, folks – the new RoboCop trailer in all its glory. For me, the jury is still out as the film LOOKS good (in that “we used a LOT of CG!” manner) and it definitely shakes up the original’s origin story significantly in terms of how Murphy gets his metal suit and why it’s now black in the new flick.

On the other hand, it also shares that very similar (and yes, slightly long in the tooth) thematic stuff many of these sci-fi remakes are afflicted with where it’s one man (or many) against the evil, rotten corporate scum who don’t give a rat’s ass about the little people. Cue dramatic music, explosions and bodies falling off stuff. But in PG-13 instead of R-rated violence because that gets more asses in the seats at the end of the day. That and yup, expect this to clock in at under two hours because less time means more showings per day as well. Any bonus footage is coming in the “Unrated” home video version, I’d bet you a hot nickel… Continue reading →

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Sneek Peek: Second Verse, Not Quite Same As The First…

Posted on November 4, 2013 by geelw

So, now that this two-parter is a three-parter, I have to ask if it still draw in the millions of fans the original The Lord of the Rings trilogy did. Granted, a third part means MORE of the book on board and hopefully an even closer to Tolkien film. On the other hand, I know the book loyalists have been shaking their fists at the screen or in Peter Jackson’s general direction since the first Rings film hit theaters and I don’t think they plan to stop any time soon. Granted, these films do a bit of public service by giving the truly lazy a chance to see what they won’t read (and thus fail any real life book reports they need to write in the future – lesson NEVER write a book report from any movie – your teachers who’ve read those books WILL know). But then again, if you’re THAT shiftless, you’ll probably be snoozing in your seat before the first half hour is over and done.

Hey, I’ve been in theaters many times over the years and have sat close to young people who thought they could actually get away with that trickery and I’ve always laughed a bit at what I know the results will be. Hell, chances are that teacher is in a different theater (or worse, the same one) taking mental notes on exactly what to look out for in those shorthanded reports. So yeah, kids… READ MORE BOOKS! There’s nothing wrong with a grand epic at all mind you… unless you’re planning to play it off as actual studying and not supplemental material once you’ve done the work. That’s your life lesson for the day…

Random Film of the Week: Mark of the Vampire

Posted on October 30, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, Passion4Horror!)

Confession time: I didn’t much care for the film version of Dracula. It took me three attempts to sit through that film as a kid, but it was less due to Bela Lugosi’s interestingly languid performance than the stiff “let’s put on a show!” Broadway staging most of the movie suffers from.

Over time I’ve finally come to respect and like the film a lot more, but have always found the Spanish language version far more compelling and fun to watch thanks to the additional scenes and excellent supporting cast. Unfortunately, the Dracula in that film chose to mimic Lugosi’s singular acting style a wee bit too much while the other actors eat up the scenery in that great manner supporting players do when they’re making the best of a meaty role.

Continue reading →

The Hobbit: The Desplation of Smaug TV Spot 3: This One Better Not Be Draggin’…

Posted on October 14, 2013 by geelw

Okay, so I finally caught The Hobbit on HBO when it premiered on Saturday and yes, I fell asleep about 25 minutes in. That was bad, however I did wake up about 25 or so minutes later and sat through the rest of the film, save for a quick break to boil some water for tea. Granted, I was a bit sick and a little bit tired from the cold that was knocking me around, but still… the film did drag-on a bit (yeah, that’s supposed to be a pun). I liked it overall, but after that blazing opening sequence it took a while to get going again then between jokes it’s pretty much a non-interactive CG movie that winds its way up, down and all around to that ending where you just so happen to look at your watch and realize as Smaug’s eye opens and the credits roll that you’ll need to come back to that theater to see what happens thanks to that big dragon not quite revealing himself. I’m gathering this sequel will have TOO much of Smaug for some tastes… but in my opinion there’s no such thing as too much of any dragon (unless it’s that damn purple dinosaur Barney trying to pretend he’s one)…

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug TV Spots 1 & 2: Only A Year (Or Less) ‘Til Cable!

Posted on October 8, 2013 by geelw

OK, don’t shoot me, movie people. I’ve decided to wait until this one pops up on cable TV, as the first film is (not so surprisingly) premiering later this month (on HBO, I think). So much for the normal waiting time that used to be at least a year or so after a major film hit theaters. At this point, it’ll seem to some as if the only reason to go to the movies is just to get out of the house and see a flick on something larger than that already too large HDTV you may own (or the big wall you project movies on). OK, widescreen is also a good reason, but most new films are ending up premiering in that theatrical format to the point that I get annoyed when I see a recent or older film that SHOULD be in that aspect ratio run as a crappy pan & scan version. B to the O to the O, cable and movie people who still do that crap. Even an old analog set can play a widescreen movie in letterbox format, so enough with the old versions already, I say. The ONLY films that need to fill up my screen like that are the classics TCM shows that weren’t originally shot that way. OK, old cartoons and classic TV get a pass as well.

Of course, if you’re impatient or just love seeing films on a big screen with hordes of smelly humans around you, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug opens in theaters on December 13, 2013. Everyone else, set your clocks…

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Main Trailer: The Little People, Back At Work Again…

Posted on October 1, 2013 by geelw

Er, NO… that’s not what the idiots who look down on us from D.C. will be thinking once they come to some of their senses and stop scaring the hell out of half the country with their needless grade school tantrum antics. It’s the official trailer to the second part of Peter Jackson’s latest Middle-Earth saga. I still need to see the first one (and thankfully, cable will be taking care of that soon enough), and I don’t plan to pay to see this one in a theater at all, but I’ll shoot over to a screening if I can get a pass. Speaking of getting a pass, I’m kind of burned out on these literary epics anyway, but I’d LOVE it if someone were to challenge making a great film our of something like Alfred Bester’s The Stars My Destination, Stanislaw Lem’s Eden, something from an Asimov or Bradbury WITHOUT messing it up with stupid action scenes and terrifically inappropriate casting decisions. Hell, make a serious animated flick for the cost of some overpaid superstar and I’m a happy camper.

Granted, SELLING that sort of creative film project to an challenged audience who wants to see those star faces and CG explosions is the real rub to deal with…

RoboCop Poster: Black Is The New Black (Plus a “Related” Dog Story)…

Posted on September 13, 2013 by geelw

Sometimes You Get It, Sometimes You Don’t Department: About a month back I’m walking to the subway from a press event and there’s this guy walking a cute bulldog (well, cute for a bulldog) who stops at a traffic light while a big truck is trying to turn the corner. As I stroll up next to them and wait the minute or so it’ll take the truck to make the turn, a gal in a nice summer dress pops out of a store, walks up to the guy and starts chatting about his dog, asking if she could pet it. He says “Sure!” and while she’s doing so, she looks up and asks “What’s your dog’s name?” The guy looks down and says “Murphy” and yes, I let out a huge laugh. The guy looks over at me as I’m recovering and I ask “Robocop?, to which HE starts cracking up. “Yeah, yeah…” Of course, as we’re having our chuckle, the gal is looking at us and not quite getting it. Right at that moment, the truck finished negotiating the turn and I noted to the guy that he might want to let the lady in on the reference before she thinks something crazy is going on. Of course, I had that Basil Poledouris theme playing in my head as I strolled off…

Oh yeah… nice poster, huh? I’m betting we’ll see a few more before this one’s ready for its close up.