The Last of Us Story Trailers: The World Ends With (or Without) You…

Posted on February 26, 2013 by geelw

To some folks out there, Naughty Dog’s upcoming PS3 exclusive begs the question “Do we really need a new console?” To which Sony, industry analysts and plenty of other folks will say “well, mmmmaayyyybe…” While they’re spinning and scratching like an old LP being tickled by an epileptic DJ, I say sure, why not. Now to go rob a bank so I can pre-order one before the mad early adopter crush of crazed “gotta have it yesterday!” superfans and “Ooh, Im’a make a fortune on eBay” losers grab every available system for three months. As to the game proper (which arrives on June 14, 2013), it does look mighty spectacular for this late in the PS3’s lifespan, but you’re looking at work from one of Sony’s not-so secret weapon first-party studios…

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God of War Ascension: Sony Bets There’s a Three Way In Your Future…

Posted on February 26, 2013 by geelw

No, no… not THAT type of three way (and you’ll only get that joke anyway if you’ve played the other games in the series) As in, there are three ways to get the game, you perverts (get those eyebrows at least ABOVE the gutter. This is a family show!). As the latest trailer just dropped earlier today and interest in the game is soaring thanks to some of the other footage from this upcoming action epic, this could indeed be the best game in the franchise to date. That said, methinks it’s time for Kratos to either call it a day after this game or go the open-world RPG route, as I personally feel he’s too confined to linear pathways and puzzles when he needs to bust through those invisible walls, QTE’s and cinematic camera angles and get into doing what he does best (which is whatever the hell he wants to, usually). We shall see, I suppose, but I think the big lug NEEDS the space to breathe and Sony Santa Monica can help him out quite nicely indeed while expanding upon the multiplayer mode they’ve cooked up.

Random Film of the Week(end): Rubber

Posted on February 24, 2013 by geelw

I absolutely love that some horror fans HATE Quentin Dupiex’ Rubber (or as it’s called in France, Rubber) for a few reasons. I’m betting he knew that’s just what would happen when the jaded but none too bright gore fanatics out there rolled into theaters or caught this on cable thinking they’d be getting a relentlessly violent and gory flick that just so happened to be non-stop hilarious. Well, it IS indeed gory and often quite funny… but it’s also a one or two gag film that works it hard by going in many directions (often at once) as well as one of the more absurdly meta movies you’ll ever see. You know you’re in for a weird time when a movie starts off with two characters on a desert road talking about how things happen for “no reason” before an audience in the distance waiting around is handed binoculars in order to watch what happens next. That’s probably the most normal thing you’ll see for the next 80+ minutes, by the way…

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Hey Lukewarm Games! You’re Lucky I Like Dinosaurs…

Posted on February 23, 2013 by geelw

As I noted last week, this whole Harlem Shake thing is SO played out, but toss in a couple of dinosaurs and I get all “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in…” about this dopey fad. Well, it works with THESE dinosaurs. Hell, if it were Barney or any other purple dinosaur out there, I’d be beating my laptop with a baseball bat and suing someone so I can buy a new one. Anyway, OK – I laughed… but this is the last time I’m going to watch one of these videos. Maybe…

Hey, Lukewarm! Maybe think a tiny bit about getting your nifty-looking multiplayer-centric game Primal Carnage onto consoles and the Vita with a solo play campaign so I can finally play this game. It looks like a ton of fun, but I don’t do online gaming much (crap connection and I prefer games with stories to keep me interested more than running around shooting stuff)…

Review: Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken (Vita)

Posted on February 23, 2013 by geelw

Platform: PlayStation Vita (via PSN)
Developer/Publisher: Ratloop Asia
# of Players: 1 (online 2 – 4)
ESRB: Rating: M (Mature)
Official Site
Score: A- (90%)
Before you even ask, nope, Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken has absolutely NOTHING to do with Angry Birds. Zero. Zilch. So, please clear that Jenga with a slingshot game out of your heads before reading further (I’ll wait)… and if you happen to have grown up playing classic NES side-scrollers, a few too many platform-based puzzle games and maybe a few oddball arcade flight shooters, well… this game’s got your name on it somewhere. Ratloop Asia (sorry, but that studio name makes me want to avoid eating Chinese food for a few days) has cooked up a tasty bird buffet that’s a tad spicy for the kids thanks to a bit of foul (or is that fowl?) language, blood and lots of stabby and shooty violence. But for those of you Vita owners with a sense of humor and a few bucks in your pocket, it’s a guaranteed fun time while it lasts. A few new Vita-exclusive elements added makes this the most complete version out there and yes, it’s a definite must-buy if you’re looking for a solid adventure that, while not the longest game out there, is going to get a few replays and perhaps even stay on that memory card long after you’re all done.

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Metal Gear Rising Revengeance: Platinum Scores Big, Slices Skeptics Up Good…

Posted on February 19, 2013 by geelw

There’s nothing like a good game to shut up the naysayers out there, so it’s fantastic to see Konami, Platinum Games and yes, Hideo Kojima get a lovely bit of sweet Revengeance on the usual internet troll posses and their stale bile. Kojima has even made an amazing trailer for the game that shows off Platinum’s hard work quite well, spoils a few things and is pretty much not for those squeamish types, as there’s a lot of fake blood and lots of objects getting a good slicing on display. Of course, the game is SO far out there that much of this is pretty funny (in a weird way like most of Kojima’s work when he goes for the quirky). Hmmm – looks like that’s another game I need to get around to buying at some point. Also, the Japanese TV spots are slightly similar in tone (people having not so hot days at work and such), but funnier (and stranger) than the one US ad I’ve seen – see above and below the jump…

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BioShock Infinite “Lamb of Columbia” Trailer: That’s Certainly NOT Mint Jelly!

Posted on February 19, 2013 by geelw

Customer: “See, I was right! Next time I’m sticking with the Cobb Salad!”

Waiter: Actually, I hear the game is going (or has gone) gold, which means no changing your order, sir.

Customer: (ah, the cranky waitstaff and the “no substitutions” rule!) “What? But I’m the customer and the customer is ALWAYS right! SO, get me that salad, make it a SMALL one… and a burger, really well done so it tastes like a hot shoe heel, and a Diet Kook!”

Waiter (rolls eyes and sighs, points at big red letters stating NO SUBSTITUTIONS on menu cover): This isn’t your local fast food place, sir… Chef Levine and his staff at Irrational Games have cooked up a dish they KNOW you’ll love and as everything on the menu is a Chef’s Choice, you’re getting what he gives you and it’s ALL good.

Customer: “Blaaaaaaah!, I’m not paying for something that’s not what I want!!!”

(and so forth and so on…kinda sorta based on a true incident I overheard a few years back)

Anyway, let those two have at it all day in your head if you wish. Me, I’m staring at that space in the library I’ve made for BioShock Infinite when it’s finally released on March 26, 2013.

Crysis 3 “Sharp Dressed Man” TV Spot: A Little Fun Before The Bodies Start Dropping…

Posted on February 19, 2013 by geelw

Amusingly enough, I actually had to explain to a non-gaming friend that this wasn’t some sort of cheesy 90’s action flick/comedy game after he kept seeing this goofy ad over the past week or so. I didn’t catch it until about three or four days back and it made me laugh because of the choice of ZZ Top’s classic 80’s tune more than the silly macho posturing going on (I was expecting something more serious like Ubisoft’s Far Cry 3 TV ads), but it’s all in good fun. I got to play a bit of the PC version last week at EA’s spring press event and it’s absolutely gorgeous and definitely Crytek’s best work to date (at least as far as the visuals go). As for the rest of the game, I’ll need to play through it at some point and see what’s what. I liked the second one (and never played the original outside of a demo and about two hours of the final version), so I’m probably going to have fun with this sequel as well.

Hmmm… I wonder if the ad agency that cooked this up is going to hit up more of ZZ Top’s back catalog for the inevitable DLC? I can think of a few other tunes they did that might fit, but I don’t want Crytek to get the idea that they’re better comedians than they are a games developer…

Game of Thrones Season 3: Chaos Is Ready For Its Closeup…

Posted on February 18, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, yeah… a bit late to posting this, but hey, I’m a busy one-man army here. Anyway, I’m tempted to go snap up the first two seasons on video, but HBO on Demand has been running them for a while, so I’ve more than gotten my fix of the series. I’ll probably wait until the entire run has ended and the inevitable box set drops to buy in, a I’m expecting a load of behind the scenes features we haven’t yet seen. Anyway, I’m not even going to speculate about what’s going to happen and who’s going to get it this season, as that sort of thinking always makes any show less enjoyable in my book. I like to just sit down, shut up and take it all in. No laptop, phone or other device going. Hell, I can’t see HOW people sit there in front of a TV and concentrate on any show while being “social” and yakking away on Facebook or Twitter or wherever while there’s more than enough onscreen to hold one’s attention…

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Random Film of the Week(end): Bath Salt Zombies

Posted on February 17, 2013 by geelw

As far as low-budget horror flicks go in this day and age, MVD Entertainment Group’s latest DVD release, Bath Salt Zombies is a gory wonder of economy that’s an intentionally cheesy, but wickedly fun time. Packing in plenty of blood, twisted humor, skin-ripping gore, a couple of sexy ladies, more gore, a few crazily creative fight scenes, cheap backdrops (did I mention gore?), and a leading man with quite the knack for freaky rubber-faced expressions. It’s Type AB-solutely NOT for the kiddies, so go roll them into the closet with a box of eBay Ho-Ho’s (or substitute those nastier Little Debbie rip-offs that taste like sugar dipped chocolate rolled sponges – they won’t know the diff), kick back and definitely catch this flick if you’re into the hot and heavy cult horror thing it’s got going on… Continue reading →