Godzilla “Courage” TV Spot: Well, That Depends On One Thing…

 
As noted above, it indeed does Depend on the person who decides to fight that big radioactive beastie and whether of not he or she’s got some adult diapers packed in that backpack when they go leaping out of a plane or other assault vehicle with intent on their faces (and the possibility of poop in their pants). Me, I’d be finding the fastest way out of town and double-timing it over some kids, puppies and grannies in the process. Hey, SOMEONE needs to write about surviving that hell and I’m not going to play the Raymond Burr part of Steve Martin from the 1956 US version of the original Gojira. When I sign off, it’ll be from the comfort of a faraway location and there won’t be any building falling on my head either. Yes, I’m basically the Dr. Zachary Smith* of bloggers, but at least I’m honest about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look up some proper hiding places that are new Godzilla proof!

*(Well, Dr. Smith after the first few episodes of Lost in Space when he transformed from an actual creepy threat into full-on comic relief mode. The man must have been hit on the head or something during a Jupiter 2 crash!)

Godzilla “Whatever It Takes” Tv Spot: Okay, Now You’re Just Showing Off…

 
Alright, you big radioactive lizard, that’s it. We’re ONLY at what, the THIRD new TV ad and it’s already a “nothing stops it, not even the bomb!” moment? Well, okay then. I guess that’s a good thing, right? Although I’d have personally preferred a gag clip insert of Slim Pickens riding that H-bomb down to glory from Dr. Strangelove to no effect (this time) just to get people who remember that film chuckling and those who’ve never seen it (but need to) wondering where the hell that scene came from. Yaaaa-hooooo! Anyway, Godzilla opens here in the US on May 16, 2014.

Godzilla “I Can’t Believe This Is Happening” TV Spot: Well, Start Running Anyway!

 
Of course, the ultimate in-joke is being IN a theater watching Godzilla when there’s a Godzilla-like event that suddenly happens outside (eek). What with all these natural and man-made disasters taking place on a seemingly regular scale, I think I may hold out on seeing this in a theater after all. I’d probably be the first one out the door to run screaming down the street into a manhole or newly opened fault line break anyway (which would make it into the inevitable Hollywood movie that pops up about whatever event takes place because SOME people never believe the news or what’s in a work of non-fiction until they see it recreated with actors they “know”. Now, hmmmm… who’s going to play me in that disaster flick? I’ll take some ideas now in case I’m not around to see the profits from the movie…

Godzilla “It Can’t Be Stopped” TV Spot: Yeah, YOU Tell Him To Stop. I Dare You…

Me, I’ll be hoofing it like hell to some high ground or way out of town while you’re down at getting stomped upon level doing semaphore with a traffic cone on each arm hoping the big guy can decipher them and not crack up before he puts a foot on your head. I bet that zombie apocalypse bag you have in the hall closet has nothing useful against Godzilla at all unless you thought of making CHOKING HAZARD T-shirts and that monster can read. Which gos back to the sense of humor thing, mind you. What DOES Godzilla find funny these days? Inquiring minds want to know!

Godzilla International Trailer: All You Need From Me On A Tuedsay Is A Big, Mad Lizard…

 
Yeah, I’m kind of taking the day off to rest because my overtaxed brain has needed it for a bit and I didn’t listen to the signals for a few weeks, so here you go. Of course, after that toy reveal yesterday, I figured we’d HAVE to see a new trailer that shows the big radioactive lug doing his stuff. Nice, huh? I’m tempted to break my travel almost 24 miles both ways boycott to check this out, but we shall see. At this point, seeing new movies when they land in theaters is low on the totem pole unless I get preview passes. I’m not at all averse to holding out for the soon to be released home video version (which as I’ve noted previously, takes less than eight months for most films these days).

Godzilla Toy Reveal: MTV Makes Itself Relevant Again!

Image: MTV

Image: MTV

“Raaaar! Hi Kids!” is what this new Godzilla seems to be saying with a grin on his mug. Thanks to the fine folks at MTV News, here’s a long and loving first look at the 2014 version of this classic beastie from the upcoming film by director Gareth Edwards.

The figure (coming to you from Jakks Pacific) stands a whooping 23 inches tall and with the added tail length, measures a very respectable 43 inches long. Yikes, there goes the neighborhood indeed in terms of finding a shelf at home to put this hefty plastic monster on. Other than his weird feet and manly-muscly arms, I like the new look of the big guy a lot.

Godzilla_MTV

Image: MTV

It’s also got twelve points of articulation including a mouth that opens and closes (important when pretending to chow down on citizens and scenery) and a tail that swings back and forth (also important for keeping away helicopter-sized bugs and other flying things). This massive monster might seem too scary for the wee ones (it’s made for ages 3+, parents), but we all know that boys (and girls) just ADORE dinosaurs of any size, correct?

Besides, it still can’t top the KING of inappropriate movie licensed toys geared for the wrong age group, Kenner’s 18″ ALIEN figure from 1979. I had one of those babies, boxed and all, but it got swiped by my younger brother and wrecked/tossed out eventually while I was away and I’ve been kicking myself since for not buying a few when Gimbels was closing them out at a song. Ah well… you can’t change the past, people… but you CAN get started on the room-sized diorama you’re going to fit this new HUGE Godzilla in. Good luck on that project!

Godzilla Official Trailer: Now THAT’S More Like It (Times Ten Or So)…

 
BOOM. Okay, I’ll take two tickets, please. Any doubts that a decent Godzilla can be made outside of Japan get squashed here and now. Toho is probably pretty happy with the results, I’m gathering. I can’t say anything more because I despise the usual speculation and trailer trawling that goes on as soon as something like this goes up. Slowing it down to poke and peck at individual frames is meaningless because the final film will be structured differently and may not even have everything seen in the trailer. But you can’t stop people who should be happy and move onto more productive stuff from getting all over-geeky and picky and foolish with their opinions, so I won’t even try. Eh, whatever. I just file the good trailers away into my Must See mental pile while the rest go into the Catch it on Cable stack where most films end up because they’re not worth traveling money and the ticket price to pay for. Godzilla, on the other hand? He’s worth the 11-mile or so trip I now need to take since there are NO theaters near me at all these days. Bleh.

Godzilla “ROAR” Teaser: What’s Coming Is Far Larger Than You’re Thinking…

Soooooo, tomorrow is the big day, huh? 10AM, hmmmmm? Well, it’s a date then. And I do hope this trailer coming shuts up the people wailing like a stomped on Bambi that Legendary Pictures hasn’t been promoting their big movie as much as the more vocal fans wish. Trust me, kids… like a real giant monster attack (well, if giant monsters did exist), you won’t be escaping from this new Godzilla any time soon once he gets walking in your general direction. I’ll bet that in some cities, no form of transportation, billboard or other large free spaces will be safe! Well, from an ad plastered all over those things, that is. You’ll see…

So, It Looks As If Godzilla Is Going to Be Huge On A Few Fronts…

godzilla_MP_b(thanks, Yahoo Movies!) 
godzilla_backIf this latest poster is any indication of relative size, the upcoming star of one of this summer’s definite blockbusters is going to be using skyscraper spires for toothpicks and about ten tractor trailers for a set of funky roller skates. I like that it’s a companion piece to the poster on the left and shows how massive this monster will be provided this IS the actual scale (he said, still ticked off about John Berkey’s infamous King Kong poster from the 1976 remake of that classic film). As usual, we shall see, but I think the fans would get all fire-breathing and stompy if that lizards wasn’t as advertised. Pacific Rim at least delivered the goods (and how) when it came to making jaws drop as its monsters got larger and larger…

Interstellar Teaser Trailer: What You Do After You’ve Gone Batty Thrice…

So, it’s about a year away (!), but Christopher Nolan’s upcoming Interstellar looks as if it will be one more intensely interesting film from one of the more prolifically creative mainstream directors working today. Granted, this SUPER tease may as well be a trailer for a Salvage One movie or a more serious version of Joe Dante’s EXPLORERS, but I like that vagueness going on here and the fact that we have to wait a whole year to see what’s coming. Naturally, there WILL be updates as more of the plot and cast are revealed, but with any new film, I prefer to stay the hell off the internet and far away from speculation and spoilers because it just makes for a better overall viewing experience. Try it sometime and see, I say…