2016: A Package Odyssey (Days 3-4*): Spin Cycle, For The Moment

Well, I figured this would happen at some point, but yep, it happened. Step back from your viewing screen and hold onto your butts, folks… this post is going to suck. Up to a point.

(Thanks, virgilio72!) 

I didn’t post yesterday because I decided to try and work a bit and I was in a crappy mood because I decided chronicling this ongoing nonsense wasn’t all that therapeutic after all. I was just getting more annoyed at every person involved in this mess I’m (still) a victim of not being very helpful. USPS was giving me a slow runaround, the seller is kind of lost and asking me what to do (I’ve been passing along as much help as I can), and despite being a longtime fan, I’m about to go postal and recommend anyone I know just NOT use their local post office for anything but whatever passport services they offer. But let’s not pull that rabbit out of the hat just yet, folks.

Anyway, after a suggestion from a message board that I call the number on the USPS web site and another user comment that

The postal service is very serious about employee mail theft. They will get to the bottom of it.

Well, I would hope the hell so. I decided to pick up the phone this morning and try my luck. That turned out to be both a terrifically terrible and (very) good thing to do. Well, maybe on the “(very) good” part.

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Odyssey of the Oddity Concludes Somewhat Abruptly

I can actually recall the first time I heard Space Oddity on the radio. It was sometime after its 1969 release and if memory serves me correctly, it almost made me miss my school bus. Between the haunting acoustic guitar work and the otherworldly sounds emanating from the clock radio in my room, I was transported into that tin can floating in the void. Instant David Bowie fan from that point on and what and education that was.

Suffragette City made me look up that word (the first one, silly!) and in doing so before the age of the internet, got me checking out the dictionary and then a few encyclopedias as that rabbit hole opened up as I discovered other issues related to that word. Triangle Shirtwaist Factory, union organizing, women’s rights (which I don’t think were listed in much detail as far as 70’s educational tomes were concerned) and other mind-expanding bits and pieces were in the process of being uncovered. One teacher I had noted my research and gave me a few newsletters to peruse from her college days. Of course, at that age (I was about ten or eleven at that point), most of that reading material was way above my brain grade but I absorbed them anyway. Continue reading

I’m Just An Idea Man, Ma’am…

Stuff I think about while traveling around #452. I have no time, money or patience to do any of this, so I kind of bop about hoping someone asks me out of the blue for a good or weird idea. Like this one:

How come some really creative BioShock fan (and they are legion) hasn’t rewritten the lyrics to “Rapture” by Blondie and gotten together with like-minded folks to make an appropriately themed music video? I mean, the song is lying there waiting for references. “Fab 5 Freddy” can get a Big Daddy switcheroo, I’m sure one can easily work the Little Sisters in there, the assorted powers and yes, given the location of that game IS a place called Rapture, it should inspire those who know the game inside and out to get in on this one if someone decides to shoot a decent video. Of course, it has to be not for profit, as I can see the cease and desist letters dropping from the sky already…

Well, if you’re reading this and do attempt this feat of daring and potential tangled legalese, keep me posted. I need a decent bit of amusement these days and hey, you can always say you stole the idea from me when the lawyers come a-knockin’ at your door. More terrible ideas to come – stay tuned…

Spring Cleaning: I Want(ed) My MTV. Good Thing I Didn’t Get It, I Suppose…

MTVA ha ha and ha. I’d forgotten all about my failed attempt to get my 15 minutes of fame way back then. I actually don’t recall exactly what the introduction I sent to MTV was, but I do remember it was partially illustrated, which probably got me this response. Not only did I forget my to put my phone number on that intro, I do believe I forgot to include the hand-drawn business card I’d made (which had my number on it). Oops. The handwriting below that was done well after the show had been cast when I was piling up all the rejection letters I’d ever gotten (most from assorted comic companies) at that point. think that was in 1996 or so, but it’s been a while since I poked through all that stuff. This popped up while going through and old portfolio, but I may dig up the rest one of these days and do a post on that.

Godzilla Toy Reveal: MTV Makes Itself Relevant Again!

Image: MTV

Image: MTV

“Raaaar! Hi Kids!” is what this new Godzilla seems to be saying with a grin on his mug. Thanks to the fine folks at MTV News, here’s a long and loving first look at the 2014 version of this classic beastie from the upcoming film by director Gareth Edwards.

The figure (coming to you from Jakks Pacific) stands a whooping 23 inches tall and with the added tail length, measures a very respectable 43 inches long. Yikes, there goes the neighborhood indeed in terms of finding a shelf at home to put this hefty plastic monster on. Other than his weird feet and manly-muscly arms, I like the new look of the big guy a lot.


Image: MTV

It’s also got twelve points of articulation including a mouth that opens and closes (important when pretending to chow down on citizens and scenery) and a tail that swings back and forth (also important for keeping away helicopter-sized bugs and other flying things). This massive monster might seem too scary for the wee ones (it’s made for ages 3+, parents), but we all know that boys (and girls) just ADORE dinosaurs of any size, correct?

Besides, it still can’t top the KING of inappropriate movie licensed toys geared for the wrong age group, Kenner’s 18″ ALIEN figure from 1979. I had one of those babies, boxed and all, but it got swiped by my younger brother and wrecked/tossed out eventually while I was away and I’ve been kicking myself since for not buying a few when Gimbels was closing them out at a song. Ah well… you can’t change the past, people… but you CAN get started on the room-sized diorama you’re going to fit this new HUGE Godzilla in. Good luck on that project!

So Long, Lou Reed: A Walk on the Mild Side Brings Back Memories…

I made Lou Reed laugh once. A long time back (I think it was 1986 or 87, but my memory is a bit fuzzy), I ran into him downtown around St. Marks Place as I was walking to a friend’s place for a birthday party. I recall it was around sundown with fading light and he was coming out of a small shop I don’t recall the name of. As I stopped to nod in his general direction (what I usually did when encountering a celebrity type on the streets of NYC) a trio of Asian tourists (a guy and two women) recognized him and asked if he’d pose for a quick photo with them.

Since I was only about five or so feet away (and probably grinning like a nut on the loose from Bellevue), one of the tourists looked in my direction and smiling as if he’d won the biggest lottery ever, motioned me over pointing to his expensive camera and asked me to snap a shot or two. Of course, I jumped at the chance and three shots later (because I got my thumb in the way on the first picture), handed the camera back to the guy who now wanted ME to pose with Lou. I declined, as I’m not the “Lookit me with the star!” kind of guy (and back then I was a lot more camera shy than I am these days), but Lou was in a pretty good mood and said “Come on”, waving his hand up and forward… Continue reading

With Some “True” Stories, There’s Always a Hitch…


I finally sat down to catch HBO’s “The Girl” and sat through it twice because I didn’t like it the first time and wanted to be sure it was the film and not me.  A second viewing didn’t change much, but it really had nothing much to do with what the director or actors did “wrong” at all. Sure, I knew of Hitchcock’s blonde ambitions and particularly peculiar proclivities from books and magazines I’d read, so that didn’t bother me one bit. I think it’s the general shorthand of the biopic or more precisely, those “based on (or worse, “inspired by”) a true story” films that condense certain elements of a person’s life to easily digestible cookies baked up from a Cliff Notes recipe that leaves the barest aroma of truth and the aftertaste of too many artificial ingredients and cooks in the kitchen…

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