EVIL DEAD TV Spots: You’ll “Scream” Because It’s A “Masterpiece”… “However…”


 
Soooo… I just now decided to poke around and peek at some early reviews and impressions and… *ding!* it looks as if it’s up…. annnnnnd… it’s good! Actually, that Redband trailer had me convinced a while ago (although I wasn’t going to do a silly reaction video at all) – particularly the part with the knife and tongue (eek!). Anyway, go see this one if you want to jump all around the theater holding the arm of the person next to you as a handy club. They’ll miss that arm only for the few seconds it takes them to bleed out, but at least you have a weapon now.

 


 
OF COURSE… the problem with all this over-hype is will the actual film scare anyone who hasn’t been all over the internet gobbling up every trailer, screen capture, feature, cast interview and so forth and so on? The original film and its more comedy-focused sequel were memorable to me because they came out of nowhere as “Midnight” movies without a ton of fanfare. I still recall seeing the trailer and initially being freaked out by it back in the day and I think there was even a brief commercial for the original film popping up very late at night that was pretty effective in a “Oh, I really don’t want to see that, but…” manner. I ended up not being that scared at all by the original film because of what I considered too much hype back in the day, so this new version didn’t get my attention until I noted how it took a more serious angle to things, which works well from what I’ve seen.

 

 

Now, every big genre film gets SO much attention that it’s hard to be surprised because you’ve seen half the film on TV or the internet or it’s one of those smaller flicks that’s too weird to show much of and eventually turns out to be less frightening and more disgusting (Yeah, YOU, Human Centipede 2). Eh, as always… we shall see. Except you with the missing arms out there. You’re all dead (but you just might come back for the inevitable sequel)…

Defiance “This Place” Trailer: “The First Rule of Fight Club Is…”

 

Well, you most likely KNOW that part already (if you’ve actually seen Fight Club, that is). I think there’s some other unwritten rule later on about NEVER fighting the blue alien who looks like he’s going to break you into five pieces, but whatever. Besides, who reads the manual to anything these days? It’s obviously much worse in the future (and I can only wonder HOW new furniture and bicycles will get put together then – it’ll be kids and wives falling down everywhere thanks to lazier dads not figuring stuff out even more!). Anyway, contrary to what I’ve been posting previously (Oops!), DEFIANCE actually premieres on April 15, 2013 (9pm/8 Central Time) on syfy. That’s Tax day for many here in the US (whee!), so you can cry when you send out those forms and your check for what you owe Uncle Sam (who must be doing a LOT of shopping at QVC or something with all that money he gets) and come home later to feel better in front of a cool-looking new TV show. AND game (which hits stores on April 2), if you’re connected and want to dive into more of the lore in a more interactive manner…

Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut Random Screenshot of the Day: Just Another Saturday Night…

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Well, in Greenvale that can only mean two things, folks. You’re either going to hoof it on down to the Swery65 Bar to get your drinking done and maybe play a few games of darts with the boys. Or you’ll be running home to lock all the doors and windows before crawling under the couch or bed to catch some old movie because there’s a killer on the loose. That, by the way, is NOT why that screenshot above has the bar so empty. Hey, it’s only about 4pm here and no one in Greenvale really gets their drink on until Happy Hour kicks in at around 5! Anyway, make sure to swing by then and see this place start filling up with locals. Some of whom ONLY come in for Happy Hour before running home to lock all the doors and windows before crawling under the couch or bed to catch some old movie because there’s a killer on the loose…

DP_PreorderYOU can actually help the citizens of this otherwise strange and sleepy town get back to some sort of normalcy by snapping up a copy of Rising Star Games’ upcoming Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, exclusively for the PlayStation 3 on April 30, 2013. Featuring updated visuals, optional PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, loads of new content and some truly creepy moments that will have you under the couch or bed, this one’s guaranteed to get you hooked in until you feel like you’re trapped in Greenvale until that case is done. Don’t worry – it’s not as if you’ll be playing yourself and have to muddle around pretending you know what you’re doing. You’ll be hopping into the shoes of Francis York Morgan, the strange but skilled investigator with an imaginary friend and a love for damn good coffee.

IMG_2148 And you know what else? Enough of you out there buying the game and telling others about it will definitely make Swery65 (shown deep in thought about what he’d like to drink at the bar when he arrives later) a nice chunk of change so he can maybe redecorate the place to a more modern western theme and perhaps add in a few pinball machines or something. Eh, then again… he’ll probably keep it as it is, as you know how the locals always HATE it when their favorite watering hole goes all upscale and starts attracting the wrong crowd. On the other hand, better a few too many annoying college kids than a creepy killer lurking at a corner table, right?

EVIL DEAD “College Reaction Screening”: If THIS Is So Scary To Those Kids…

 

… Oh, just they all WAIT until they have to start paying back those student loans. Mua-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa! Yeah, who’s REALLY peeing their pants NOW, huh? I bet some of your parents will be watching you scream in this video and wonder if that’s all the hell you did for four (or more) years. Damn kids. OK, maybe I’m jealous that I never get invited to these screenings like the over-privileged youth of to-day. Bleh. All kidding aside, I’m glad this reboot is freaking people out, as it makes me want to see it sooner than later. THAT said, I’ll probably stick it out for the Blu-Ray set with all those juicy behind the scenes bits, as I just hate leaving the theater thinking I’m missing something. Then again, a few pints of pee are never missed and I won’t need to bring a change of underwear to the theater. Or something like that. April 5, people. Go get in line somewhere and defend that spot with your lives. I have the feeling that if you don’t go see this movie… it will come looking for you.

Hmmm… Shouldn’t it be “College Screening Reaction”? That sounds more correct (and I never went to college!)

Game of Thrones Theme Song, Street Version: Spoony Bards Stay Out Of Harm’s Way. Maybe…


 

So, you want to live longer in Winterfell? Pick up an instrument of the realm, learn it quickly, pick a house and learn their motto, then scribe up an appropriately drone-y ditty and have at it until you can play it pitch perfectly with a touch of flaw for authenticity’s sake. The army will leave you be unless they happen to stock the front lines with easily disposable musicians that can sponge a few dozen or more arrows each. Oops on you if you picked House Lannister to try out your musical talents in. Hmmm… maybe acting crazy and pretending you’re blind works better. Or at least it will until another house sees that as a more mystical talent they can take advantage of. Only two more days, folks…

Primal Carnage: Genesis GDC 2013 Trailer: Unreal 4 Gets An Early Workout…

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I haven’t played Lukewarm Media’s cool-looking Primal Carnage on PC because it’s an online only multiplayer-focused game and I don’t play online games anymore (bad connection at home, lack of interest in running around shooting others in the face and dealing with immature and mature racist, homophobic and other online jerks, et cetera), so I actually skipped over this announcement until a fellow editor-type pointed me in the right direction by noting Primal Carnage: Genesis is a single player game with an actual story. Woo-oo! OK, I’m sold.

 

Granted, I first got a nasty Dino Crisis 4 vibe (sorry, Capcom!) from the sci-fi elements here, but I got over that quickly and now there’s a nice Dino Crisis 2 meets Dinosaur Hunting vibe reverberating my my pointy little head. Anyway, it looks as if I’ll be keeping another eyeball on one more really cool-looking new game, huh? Good thing I have a bag full of extra eyeballs in the freezer. Buy in bulk and SAVE, kids…

STAR TREK: The Video Game: Shatner’s Back! (In Not Quite the “Arena” Mode You Wanted)…

 

So, who said Shatner wouldn’t be in a new Trek venture? Granted, being stuck in a hilarious trailer for the upcoming Digital Extremes-developed game headed to the PS3 and Xbox 360 (warping into retail on April 23) isn’t exactly the part he probably wanted, but it’s great to see him poke fun at his Kirk and that classic episode here. I have the feeling that Namco bandai Games just got a few extra sales for this one based on this funny ad alone. Hopefully, there will be some hands-on time for me at the press event next week, as I’m dying to see how this one’s turned out…

Humor(?) Another “Oh No You Didn’t” Cartoon…

Yikes Yikes, indeed. Even “funnier” (or not, depending on your own sense of humor), the book Kermit is reading is titled (Eek..) “VASECTOMIES FOR DUMMIES”… Yikes. Yeah, try explaining THAT one to the kids (should they have access to a decent magnifying glass, as it’s hard to see in the published size). Ha, Ha, Ha.  As a former Muppet Show fanatic, I should be more annoyed at this, but I think that’s a waste of my time. I have bigger fish to fry. And eat. Now I’m hungry and no longer mildly pissed off. Welcome to Short Attention Span Theater! Eh, I don’t think anyone will freak out about this much if at all, but I’m glad I’m not the one who drew this up. Cue the ghost of Jim Henson in a ratty Big Bird suit with a Candyman hook on one wing. Someone better sleep with one eye open, is all I’m saying…

Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut Random Screenshot of the Day: A History Lesson…

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Actually, Detective York is a wee bit off in his history, as steam-powered vehicles were around in the 17th and 18th centuries. It’s too bad that the technology never took off as it should have, as the world could probably use less fossil fuel consumption and smarter ways of just getting to the mall for a pint of milk. Of course, trying to cover the entire history of automobiles here is a bad idea, as this is supposed to be a more Greenvale-centric post and I’m sure their City Council doesn’t want me to ramble on about mechanical perambulation or the advent of steam when there are more interesting ways to get tourist dollars out their way. And, wait… just which King George is he referring to anyway? There were a whole bunch of them from a few different countries throughout world history, you know.

DPDC PS3 US EFS 2D RealOh, wait a minute… Ah ha ha. My mistake, folks. The detective was being a bit sarcastic and tossing a good one out about Sheriff George Woodman who it turns out isn’t the nicest cop in the neighborhood. Oops. Well, at least I found that out before I had to go poking around Wackypedia for “facts” about cars written by contributors that don’t even know how to drive. Say, did you know that despite needing to drive a few places in the game, YOU don’t need to know how to drive when you’re playing Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming April 30, 2013 exclusively for the PlayStation 3. Featuring upgraded visuals, PlayStation 3 and 3D TV support, trophies and more, this is one vacation you’ll not soon forget. Unlike that information that would have helped you pass that history class you flunked in high school.

SWERY65_tinyOK, so King Sheriff George is a bit of a jerk with his stupid hat and bad attitude (you’d think he’d be a BIT more cooperative what with a mad, possibly supernatural killer on the loose in his town) but thankfully, Sheriff Swery is in the office on those days George is off and he’s a MUCH nicer guy to deal with. When you’re in the area, make sure to drop by and say hello. Hey, you may even get  a free cup of coffee from the A&G Diner out of that greeting – and free is always good. Especially when combined with coffee…

WIN FREE STUFF! Or: Cobra Command (& mimoco) STILL Wants YOU!


 

COBRAAAAA!OK, SIDE CHOSEN! Now that I’ve teamed up mimoco to go completely EEEEEVIL… I’m being nice and giving something cool away. Er, that’s HOW it’s supposed to be! Long live COBRA! Anyway, here’s the deal: I have ONE of these awesome Cobra Commander MIMOBOT USB Drives to send ONE lucky (and EVIL!) reader, so you need to be really creative and sneaky to get this excellent goodie.  How creative and sneaky? Well, actually tracking down the other followers of this site and arranging for their untimely demises is a bit too extreme (and HEY, silly evil person – I need MORE readers, not LESS, grrr!), but I’m sure you can some up with something that will surprise everyone. As some inspiration (sort of), here’s some Cobra Commander fun from G.I. Joe: Retaliation:

 

 

(BIG, FAT Hint: NOT wasting time sewing up a fancy costume or putting on makeup to make that “winning” video when simply being a follower of the site, hitting the Leave A Reply button and posting that you’re interested works extremely well and in FACT, will actually surprise everyone expecting a more elaborate means of entry!) Anyway, I’ll RANDOMLY select one winning post, contact you via email for your mailing address, which MUST BE IN THE U.S. of A. grrr! (Seriously, though) and ship your prize out next week. The Cobra Commander MIMOBOT features 8GB of storage and comes packed with loads of classic G.I. Joe stuff (comics, videos, wallpapers and MORE). You’ll also get a $10 emusic card you can redeem (that’s up to 20 songs, kids) at the emusic shop and two mimoco stickers you can put anywhere you like (not the cat or dog, though!). And hey, if you don’t win, you can always poke around the mimoco site and BUY something. They may now be EEEEVIL, but that’s hard work and they deserve to take your money in exchange for quality fun stuff you won’t find elsewhere!

Long and boring official rules below the jump… Continue reading