White House Down Trailer: Here, Forced Dumb.

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

Blech… I just completely do not like these new dopey, expensive action flicks that throw presidents into danger. Yeah, yeah, there have been some well-made ones, but this year’s two blockbusters have just gotten my goat out of its pen and knocking its head into a wall. Well, if anything Roland Emmerich certainly knows about blowing the hell out of well-known real estate. That said, Independence Day was entertaining in a “Yeah, you KNOW that’s not going to ever happen” manner and despite the figurative earth-crushing moments where stuff blows up really good, you could at least walk out of the theater and feel somewhat entertained by what you just saw.

Anyway… this Die Hard meets Air Force One meets domestic terror on steroids stuff is really not necessary, but I guess it’ll have a “happy” ending and a lot of people complaining about it either way. Wait, that’s what I’M doing? Crap. Er, “Free Speech!” “Free Speech!” Now, where did I park that TARDIS? I want to go back and pitch this idea to George Washington and see what he thinks…

Class of Heroes II Out Now – There Goes Your Summer (Part 1)…

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

I was going to start this post with a supremely pompous sounding “From the ashes of Working Designs…” or something like that (I had music picked out, wine, cheese and everything all set, too!), but there’s a darn good chance the the people who want this (and have already paid for it) know that company’s history to the letter (or don’t care because they’re getting a new PSP game) and the ones who don’t know that history (or care at all for JRPGs) aren’t going to give a hoot in hell about the whos and whats of WD. Anyway, thanks to Gaijinworks, MonkeyPaw Games, Acquire and of course, developer Zerodiv for baking this one up. Anyway, that old PSP you’ve got under your socks and underwear in the drawer (and I hope to Hephaestus that those holy garments are clean, eww) is still getting games, so yeah – buy this and watch the hours melt away (but not the pounds if you totally veg out and never see sunlight, silly)…

Play Responsibly – that’s my new sign off for these time crushing epics… at least for the rest of the evening…

E3 2013: Surprises From DICE? Maybe (If You’re Very Easily Surprised, That Is)…

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

Hmmmm… Let’s see now. As much as I dislike speculation about this sort of stuff (my brain usually has better things to do with its time), I figure I may as well play along for a few minutes and get this out of the way so I can be proven wrong and get back to other, more important issues. I’d guess that we’ll see a big Battlefield 4 reveal, something very Star Wars related (and perhaps exclusive to a certain upcoming console/cable box hybrid), a lot of DLC news and maybe, just maybe something portable gamers may want to get their paws on (maybe). That is all. If I’m right, I’m pleased with this three minute forecasting exercise. If I’m wrong, well… what else is new?

E3 2013: Puppeteer Trailer: Another “Little” Treasure on the PS3…

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

I don’t know about you, fellow ancient gamers out there, but Sony’s upcoming PS3 exclusive, Puppeteer actually reminds me of something that legendary developer Treasure would have done back in the day as a 2D game on a 16 or 32-bit console or a 3D game on a later platform. That’s not a negative, by the way.

The game’s new trailers certainly bring back fond memories of Treasure hits and near-hits such as Gunstar Heroes, Dynamite Headdy, Mischief Makers and a few other classics not named Mario this or that, but with a more modern level of visual polish not found in those older titles.

Even better, it’s coming to retail (yes!) at a very reasonable $39.99, so you get that quality game experience of old (as in a cute platformer that would cost twenty bucks more on a cartridge) with the budget-minded pricing of a company that knows gamers want to spend less on much of what they’re interested in. Sure, I’m betting there’s some “Well, it doesn’t LOOK like a AAA game!” nonsense going on in some heads out there, but if it’s fun, has some decent replay value and gets noticed as a stellar experience by the jaded critics out there, it’s worth more than it’s selling for, I say…

Bethesda Gets You Cultured (Sort of): Welcome to Uppsala, Sweden!

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

While Machine Games toils away on its new game, Wolfenstein: The New Order, Bethesda (and YOU) get a little more cultured in this latest update that actually features no game footage at all (whee!). OK, OK… stop panicking, people. You see soon enough that the game is definitely in good hands (I’ll post a gallery after E3 is over and done). Think of it this way: the lighthearted travelogue and studio tour going on above and below is just fluff to keep your eyes and ears in shape for the upcoming shooter.

In plain English: giving you too much candy now will just ruin your appetite for dinner, you know… that’s your free lesson of the day.

Dungeons & Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara – Meet The Thief (Your Wallet Will Be Lighter, But You Won’t Mind)

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

Another week, another class from Capcom’s upcoming arcade classic set to hit PC, PSN, XBLA and Nintendo’s eShop later this month. As I noted in my hands-on preview last week or thereabouts (hey, it’s close to E3 and I’m up to my newly clipped nose hairs in press releases and such!), the game is coming along fantastically and will be packed to the gills with content and game modes that should make it highly replayable.

Hopefully, this will do well enough that we also see portable versions hit as well as a new sequel or all-new D&D game starring the same characters plus a few more classes for good measure. All that’s up to you (well… partly, as I’m not sure how “easy” it is to get the license for a new game from whomever owns it these days), so make sure you make yourself happy and Capcom happier by snapping this up.

UPDATE! Release dates from Capcom incoming: Dungeons & Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara is due out this June on PSN (NA: 6/18; EU: 6/19), Xbox LIVE (NA: 6/19; EU: 6/19), Wii U e-Shop (TBC – more info coming soon!), and PC (NA: 6/18; EU: 6/18) for $14.99.

E3 2013: South Park: The Stick of Truth Trailer: They Didn’t Kill Kenny!

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

Nope, THQ’s dying off in slow flames didn’t stop this game from getting snapped up by the highest bidder when the publisher’s assets were sold off, so veteran developer Obsidian Entertainment and new publisher Ubisoft are making sure fans of the TV show will have nothing to worry about. Granted, if you hate South Park, you’re shaking your fist at the screen and screaming “Whyyyyyyy??!!” or something (and if you’re at work or in a public place, you’re just mouthing it so no one gives you a dirty look), but this one looks like it’ll be fun and as pointedly crude as the show.

I’m not a regular viewer myself, but it does make me laugh and cringe at all the proper moments. One thing, though… where the hell is the Wii U version? Ubisoft? Get on that, please. I’ll most likely grab this for the PS3, but I’d say Nintendo’s console could use some more love…

Fantasia: Music Evolved: Harmonix Has A Hit Here (But I Bet The Real Yen Sid Is Rolling In His Freezer…)

Posted on June 4, 2013 by geelw

Ho-kay. I’m so behind the times in the modern music thing that I initially thought this was going to be a game featuring that former American Idol winner who fell on hard times (pay your taxes, people!) getting a second chance in a new IP where players got to sing in front of their KINECT-enabled TV’s. Boy was I wrong. Look, I’ll give Harmonix every benefit of the doubt because they’ve made some great and innovative music and dance-themed games for a number of consoles, but this trailer is pretty lousy because it doesn’t say “Disney” to me at all – it says “desperation” for whomever got behind this and forgot all about the original movie and that still impressive classic animation/classical music combination.

Yes, I get the whole argument about tuning in to modern tastes, and YES, poking about for previews has revealed that the game has a few interesting aspects that make it sort of a cross between Child of Eden and some sort of exploration/collection-fest. That said, as a fan of traditional animation and more types of music than the not yet completely revealed track list that’s seemingly made up of later 20th to more current hits, I have to pull the emergency brake and fall onto the heaving bosom of a tutu-clad cartoon hippo for comedic effect. Come on, Harmonix – there’s a great library of classical tunes that deserve being introduced to folks who have no clue what an orchestra is.

Yeah, this will probably do well and make people like me warm up the oven to pop in another frozen crow pie, but no classic Disney magic means… no classic Disney magic, period. Bruno Mars and classic Queen are for listening to when you’re dancing in the shower (watch that soapy floor!) or driving to the mall with the kids (as they’re screaming at you to change the station because Freddie Mercury’s voice freaks them out). I guess this being an exclusive for the Xbox 360 and Xbox One means the chances of a Wii U game that’s closer to the original film (or hell, even Fantasia 2000) in tone. But, whatever – maybe I’m just old fashioned or something…

Halo: Spartan Assault Announce Trailer: Selling Points (Minus Some Common Sense)

Posted on June 4, 2013 by geelw

Hey, I happen to like twin stick arcade shooters, so I was happy to see that this upcoming game is going to feed that need… provided I (*urgh!*) buy a twin stick-free Windows 8 PC, phone or other device. Which, by the way… is something I have zero intention of doing. Oh well. Still, I’ll give it up for Microsoft, developer Vanguard Entertainment and 343 Industries, who do have the right idea in trying to get fans to get into a portable Halo experience. Still, skipping the Xbox 360’s huge user base and Windows 7 PC’s (but probably not the upcoming Xbox One where it SHOULD be a free pack-in on the HDD to lure in more early adopters) and effectively enforcing an upgrade to play this one isn’t settling in with some folks who’d prefer the entire Halo series ported over at some point sooner than later… Continue reading →

Game of Thrones 3:9 Aftermath: I Hear Red Wedding Planners Get Paid Less…

Posted on June 4, 2013 by geelw

Amusingly enough, I used to work in a small indie game shop and there was a customer who was a big fan of the GoT books who came in one day in a lousy mood about the original version of that “Red Wedding” sequence (which I found out after some poking around yesterday) was actually much worse in the books (as well as a bit more visually twisted).

Anyway, it’s been really interesting to hear and see people who didn’t read the books go totally bat-crap crazy over the episode, as it’s been known all along that no one is really safe from an untimely demise. Sure, it was definitely shocking (and how!), but that ticking clock for the characters probably has a few more stops to make before all is said and done…

That said, this is probably one of the few episodes I won’t watch multiple times, as I usually end up catching them again On Demand when I’ve got a free hour or so to spare.