Late Night Game Week, Day 3: Jimmy (Almost) Survives Watch_Dogs And Aisha Tyler

Posted on June 20, 2013 by geelw

The problem with five minutes of one game (or two and a half minutes give or take of two games) is it’s IMPOSSIBLE to grasp what the hell some games are about. That said, in the case of Ubisoft’s stellar-looking upcoming action/adventure game Watch_Dogs, five minutes on a crazy and funny talk/variety show with a giddy host is excellent yet somewhat less than perfect for a game so huge. Don’t get me wrong, kids – I’d invite Jimmy Fallon over to the home office and show off some wacky games he’s most likely never heard of at the drop of a hat, BOOM, I’m there… er, he’s here (oh, you know what I mean). Thankfully, Aisha Tyler (also a HUGE gamer and comic as well as Ubisoft’s go-to celebrity as she also happens to be a character in the game) did a great job of explaining the concept and some of the open world gameplay before Jimmy took over and failed a mission (*sigh*). Well, he got further than I thought, but still. I’d actually love to see the guy host an ALL gaming show one day, not just one with funny segments and a few stars popping up to plug their assorted projects.

Of course, that would be a different show entirely, but a NEEDED one for gamers and G4 is no more (although, like a zombie with a steel-plated skull, the damn channel is STILL on the air pumping out movies and reruns of old shows including X-Play and Spike TV is too damn dumb to watch unless GTTV is on, as it’s just macho crap and blood beat-fests all day and then some. Yuk). I suppose internet “TV” shows are a good source, but not if one has a crap connection or hell, prefers gaming news from eight feet away and doesn’t own a damn Smart TV or whatever it is that basically means you’re online watching Honey Boo Boo when you COULD be learning a new language or something else more interesting…

Noose Flash: Microsoft Caves (Temporarily, I Bet) On Some Xbox One Restrictions…

Posted on June 19, 2013 by geelw

Read it and weep, or clap or run to the window and make like Peter Finch or whatever… but don’t get TOO happy, I say. Sure, Microsoft is finally listening to some of the rage (justified and unjustified) that’s been washing up over them since the reveal of the Xbox One, but the console is still packing a slew of restrictions that make it unpalatable under certain conditions. For one, a mandatory online connection is STILL required to activate the console (set up an Xbox Live account and probably check in with Kinect), meaning those gamers without broadband access at home or nearby (you know, the ones Microsoft told to buy an Xbox 360 if they wanted to play games offline?) can’t use the thing at all (duh).

That’s the main sticking point for me, but I also dislike the current licensing terms that say the product can (and will) change any time at Microsoft’s discretion. So expect things to roll back in as the system draws in ~~suckers~~ users who don’t mind or don’t know this until it hits them in the face when they turn on their consoles one fine day and get smacked upside the noggin with a mega-update that smarts because it’s the company thinking it’s time to move “forward”… We shall see, but I got a sack of pennies (well, 21 pennies) riding on not all going as smoothly as the company would like. Hell, at LEAST the damn box is region-free now (something the Xbox and Xbox 360 can’t claim outside of a handful of games that run on consoles in almost any territory)…

Jimmy Fallon Versus The PS4: Jimmy Gets the Knack!

Posted on June 19, 2013 by geelw

While the Xbox One got two games crammed into five minutes, Sony’s new PS4 showcased one game, the family friendly platformer, Knack was the showcase title on this second day of Late Night’s Game Week. Game Director Mark Cerny was on hand to show off the new console and controller, noting that it’s been redesigned for shooter fans, most likely to let them know they’re not forgotten despite the somewhat cute game on display Jimmy was about to dive into. He also got in a quick shot at Microsoft by noting that used games could be played on the PS4 and (yes!) the console can indeed be used offline. Microsoft takes another knock there, thanks to it’s spotty PR performance not doing the best job at explaining things. As for Knack, Cerny showed off a quick cut scene and played for a quick bit (the game looks great, but Jimmy was easily distracted by some amazing looking water for a split second) before turning over control.

Fallon played a cool ice level that showed off some great-looking Pixar-like visuals and a familiar mix of 3D platforming and combat. Knack can smash and absorb bits of the environment in order to grow and take on the characteristics of whatever he’s busted apart. It’s sort of like a Metal Men comic meets Crash Bandicoot with the aforementioned Pixar visual style and it looks pretty incredible. That said, I’m gathering Knack was shown for a few other important reasons. Fallon’s viewer base covers a wide age range, so Sony wants to get the console buying adults on board with a non-violent game they can immediately buy with that PS4. The game is a first-party title and Sony’s first party studios are responsible for a good deal of the system’s hits, so as a launch title, Knack needs to show it can be as good as the best games of its type on the new hardware. Finally, I think the game may be a hard sell to some of the shooter fans (thus the earlier shout-out by Cerny), so I think Sony wants them to know their games are indeed coming (and on launch day, at that). Then again, those shooter fans DID get a great demo of Killzone: Shadow Fall three months ago.

Oh yeah, Jimmy didn’t suck too much at Knack, but he’s still like a box of puppies bouncing in the back of a moving truck when it comes to getting all giddy about stuff. You have to love the man for his sense of wonder other TV hosts fail to activate in anything like a realistic manner, so I’ll give him that much…

Jimmy Fallon Is Still Quite The “Spaz” As A Live TV Gamer. Oh Well…

Posted on June 18, 2013 by geelw

That said, I like that he’s so enthusiastic when he plays games even when he’s awful at them. Still, he did whip Microsoft’s Phil Spencer at the new Killer Instinct (it sounded like a flock of woodpeckers over on Jimmy’s arcade stick) before zipping over to Forza Motorsport 5 for some slow-ish racing action. No, the game wasn’t slow at all, kids. Fallon just drove that fake ride like I’d drive a real car on a real road (and I can’t drive – although I’ve actually driven a few times). As for how the games looked, well see for yourself, but DO play the video in HD. It’s hard to tell on a standard def TV or much on a HD set, as you kind of need to be in the same room to get the full effect of “next-gen” visuals. Still, Spencer was light on the details (well, five minutes is not a lot of time to do a segment on two games) and may have made a slip of the tongue (or not) by stating “The Xbox One has THREE times the power of the Xbox 360!” to Jimmy as he was tolling around and smashing the front of his expensive looking digital car. The problem with that three tmes thing… well, it’s TEN times the power elsewhere (Oops).

Well, the article says ten time the “computational power”, but still… it’s an awful mistake if it was one and given Microsoft’s PR stumbles these last few weeks, it’s another of the last things the company needs when it comes to damage controlling a sticky situation. Oh well… at least Spencer got the $499 price right on the nose. Fallon’s earlier spot on bad games was pretty funny as well. Hmmm… I think I need to send him a list of stuff one of these days (and maybe loan out stuff he can’t find), as I have 2000+ games here and probably more than a few stinkers in my kusoge pile…

E3 2013: Humor – The Onion Keeps It “Real” (As Only The Onion Can)…

Posted on June 17, 2013 by geelw

(screenshot courtesy douglasadams.com)

Ha. Leave it to The Onion to gently slap the gaming industry about with its trademark humor. Well maybe this might actually help Microsoft out a wee bit more, as they’re now at the “$500 isn’t a bad deal, really!!” stage of whatever insanely backwardly incompatible PR strategy they thought up to promote their new console thinking everyone would buy in after not one, but TWO big press conferences. Ah well… live and learn, I guess. Well, I guess we’ll see what transpires as November rolls around and the games get closer. And a few more comments from all those execs from all three big companies that try to sort out other issues with their respective platforms…

Monday Night Still Manic? Think of the Little People And Smile…

Posted on June 17, 2013 by geelw

No, I don’t mean “think of the little people” as you sit there twirling your mustache (real, imagined, or candy) with one hand, counting money with the other and eating finger sandwiches with the crusts cut off with the third. Yes, your boss has a third arm – not because he’s an alien at all, but because he could afford the damn surgery (yeah, he’s easily bored). I mean look at the video above of Buster Shaver, Olive and George from this Vitaphone Pepper Pot and be amazed that holy hot pretzels, vaudeville was mighty amazing back in the day. Naturally, some would call this “Reality TV” today, but I think this stuff is MUCH better than the so-called “variety” we see that’s mostly the same stuff but with battlin’ judges (boo!).

Of course, some bossy types may get a wee bit TOO worked up and consider lovely Olive being whipped around like an overworked machine part something like the “magic” they work on the employees they lord over (“Mua-ha-ha-haaaa!”). But that’s when they choke on that tiny sliced sammich and see little angels with pointy pitchforks dancing around their heads for a hot second before the maid (or the wife flipping a coin and damning her luck) gives them a Heimlich-assisted kick in the gut. Lucky bastard… we’ll get you next time…

Let The Three Queens Make Your Monday Less Manic – They Do All The Work For You!

Posted on June 17, 2013 by geelw

It’s another Monday and just look at you. Sitting at that desk in that cubicle in that office in THAT building in that block on that street in that city in that zip code in that state (if applicable) in that country on that planet. Your coffee’s long gone cold and has the shape of a crazy upside down face formed from the artificially flavored creamer doing its chemical thing, your desk looks as if a small tornado fell out of your pockets or handbag and blew across it and your boss it taking the day off because he’s the boss and you’re not. Or he’s there and you were .29 seconds late and he’s giving you a look as if you drove up to his home, kicked his expensive dog as he was walking it that morning and then rolled in tardy because of it. Did I mention that your inbox just got 500 more messages you haven’t yet seen? Yeah, that’s a Monday, isn’t it? Well, cheer up.. or at least let the The Three Queens dance your foul mood into powder as you watch that video above and pretend they’re tap-tap-tapping away right next to your desk. Or on the head of your boss, if you’re one of those more stubborn people. If that’s the case, cheer up, I say. There’s not another Monday coming until next week…

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Gets All Post-E3 Geeky This Weeky…

Posted on June 16, 2013 by geelw

CONFESSION! OK, kitties, I don’t watch Late Night except for rare occasions when I’m flipping by or I hear Jimmy is doing something video game related. He’s a huge kid about gaming and you can definitely see that natural enthusiasm show when he gets all wide-eyed, grinny and spazzy like an eight year old on Xmas buzzed on sugar cookies and hot chocolate ripping open presents as he puts assorted titles through their paces in segments that practically guarantee nice sales of whatever he’s super-thrilled about. Of course, game publishers really LOVE the guy (even when he pokes fun at their products a bit) and I’m sure his millions of fans who aren’t into gaming see and mark down potential future holiday or otherday gifts for the gamers in their lives.

It actually WOULD be nice for me as a Noo Yawkuh to be able to go see thew show live this week instead of sitting on my butt at home, but hey – those tickets are hard to some by and even though I’m probably MORE of a gaming fool than Fallon, I’d still have to send in a request and hope away that I snag tix on a night he’s actually doing something game related. With my luck, he’ll have some overexposed “celebrity” or “reality” show boob on the night I get to go and I’ll have to restrain myself along with other audience members from throwing tomatoes and shoes… woosh, POW!!!

Anyway, and if you want to try and get on the show in video form at least, ring up your mom, get a console and a camera and you can earn some Internet immortality… below the jump, you must go. Press release for the show’s week of post-E3 gaming fun are there as well…

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E3 2013: Oh, Microsoft… You’re Making This TOO Easy…

Posted on June 14, 2013 by geelw

(video swiped from YouTuber Rinoa Leonhart)

So, the Xbox One. Yeah, THAT Xbox One. Did you know it has the computational POWER of ten Xbox 360’s? No? Well, Microsoft says so and while it’s probably true as the sky is blue (under certain circumstances) and the sun always rises even if you can’t see it (always, so far). Amusingly enough… I was planning to post that clip above BEFORE this article appeared (you WILL laugh at some point while reading it, trust me), but I got busy tinkering on a review and man, I feel as if they’re writing my lame comedy material for me and I don’t even OWN a Kinect.

At this point in damage control mode, you have to wonder when they’ll just start sending out white or black vans rolling around neighborhoods to grab random strangers off the street and MAKE them play a game just to show off how much POWER their system has. POWER, I tells ya… Granted, you still can’t use it offline unless you’re online first (subject to change based on day of the week and a update to the licensing agreement) and that new Kinect is always on even if you shut it “off”, but POWER! Wondrous working POWER… *Crack*, BOOOOOM!!!

OK, OK… I’ll knock it off now… Jeez…

Random Film of the Week: The Magic Sword

Posted on June 13, 2013 by geelw

(Thanks, Alistair Knight!)

Us-ually, I like to write up these RFotW posts alone, as I sometimes rely on memory and a re-viewing of a film to do some precision pre and post watching-progression in a few notes before writing. That said, I actually hadn’t planned on writing up The Magic Sword at all, but I was dropping off a loaner game at a friend’s, he happened to let me know that the movie was coming on TCM in about twenty four minutes and asked if I wanted to hang out and watch it.

My eyebrow went up, as I’m quite a busy guy this week… but I can be bribed under the proper circumstances (usually with food). “Toss in a pizza for two as a bonus for the pleasure of my company and we’re on”, I gently “suggest”. Hey, I’m no fool and double hey, he owes me a favor anyway, so it’s a deal.

A call was made, no anchovies were laid and thankfully, that pie was here exactly two minutes before the film started. I hadn’t seen it for a number of years, so I figured “what the hell!” as it would be interesting to see what happens when I sit down with an audience (hey, an extra person is an audience to me!) to catch something I’m usually trying to concentrate on alone for later article-worthy purposes. Ah, the best-laid plans of mice and men (and Bemis) get steamrolled into heckle-filled hilarity as the film in question wasn’t quite as good in some aspects as remembered… Continue reading →