Dark Shadows: Army of Evil Or: With Some Games, Sometimes, You Get What You Pay For (Or Less!)…

Posted on May 13, 2014 by geelw

Note: Some of you MAY need Dramamine or something in order to continue to enjoy reading this post.

Now, I didn’t buy Dark Shadows: Army of Evil on sale at the IndieGala Store… but I almost did until I decided to poke around the game’s website (yikes!) and later, watch this way too awesome and very outstanding, hilarious “review” by Jim Sterling. Oh,before you click away, it’s kind of NSFW because Jim curses up a storm (for very good reason, as you’ll see) AND the game may make you a bit motion sick if you’re easily affected by that sort of thing. Anyway, I like some awful games, but this is one that I’d probably have regretted (even at $2.39). Now, if YOU want to buy this, I certainly won’t stop you at all. Hey, I’ll even lend you my bucket so you can toss your cookies into it if that field of view starts making you queasy. Uncle Jim gets it right in his long take on this one, is all I’ll say. Wow.

Review: Magus

Posted on March 16, 2014 by geelw

Platform: PlayStation 3

Developer: Black Tower Studios/Aksys Games

Publisher: Aksys Games

# of Players:1

ESRB Rating: T (Teen)

Official Site

Score: D+

While playing through the comically wretched (in)excess that is Magus, I kept having flashbacks to the time the late, lamented 3DO’s internal studios were churning out games like Warriors of Might and Magic, Crusaders of Might and Magic, Shifters and most importantly, Godai: Elemental Force (one of the most laughably busted games ever made for the PS2). Magus reminded me of those games and more recent ones where any good intentions were waylaid by questionable execution that ended up sapping anything decent out of them, leaving a residue of fun smothered in layers of glaring badness.

Now, I love my bad games to death, but Magus gets a special place in my library for making me laugh out of confusion and unintentional humor at the same time. If Black Tower were trying for some sort of genre-bending parody they’ve succeeded royally. On the other hand, if this was a serious idea gone south for the duration that couldn’t be salvaged, it’s a bit head-shaking how this game got made this late in the PS3’s life cycle… Continue reading →

Shaq Fu 2? Shaq Says It Just May Happen!

Posted on January 9, 2014 by geelw

(thanks, cubex55!)

Holy “Nope!”, Sports Fans! According to the big man of the week at CES (GamerFitNation’s all-around Superman, Antwand Pearman), The bigger man he interviewed this week at CES 2014, Shaquille O’Neal says there’s the possibility of a NEW Shaq Fu in the works. Yikes. No way. Yikes. In case you’re wondering, the original Shaq Fu was a weird as hell (and some would say terrible, but I’m not one of those some. I think it’s only just bad and campy!) fighting game featuring Mr. O’Neal as a martial arts master fighter and yes it’s as absurdly brilliant and silly as it sounds. I think nearly everyone I knew with a Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo in their house had this game at some point and even if they hated it, it was PLAYED to death because of the absurd plot, funky fighting mechanics and fact that yeah, it’s a hell of a curiosity piece.

I’d write more on this, but my brain in some form of suspended animation shock. Here, go read about this right from the horse’s mouth. I need to go find a copy of that first game and see if it still holds up. I think Shaq is pulling some legs here, but no one lies to Antwand and gets away with it for too long. Or so I’ve heard. He’s a really nice guy, but don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry…

VGA 101: Twinkle Knights – Not Inexpensive, But Reeks of Cheapness

Posted on January 6, 2013 by geelw

(Whee, another fun reprint from the old blog because I’m busy working on something goofy here – back with a new post later today.)

While it’s rare and probably still fairly expensive once found, Intarus’ Twinkle Knights has far too many problems keeping it from being anything other than a cool prize for hardcore 3DO fanatics, collectors of Japanese strip games (of which there are plenty, according to one friend who seems to have dozens for all sorts of systems) or those folks heavily into Kusoge (“shit” games).

As an actual game experience, it’s far too short and quite easy to beat, yet can be infuriating at times when the CPU decides to put a stop to your progress. As “adult” entertainment, it’s pretty poor (OK, it’s beyond terrible) and of course, if you’re still one of those people that thinks imports like these are packed with all sorts of hidden salacious content, you’ll be very sorely disappointed in a WYSIWYG manner. Besides, there are far better ways to get that sort of er, “sexy interactive excitement” on a shiny disc you can pop in a player of some sort.

Continue reading →