Random Film of the Week: Future Women

Posted on March 23, 2015 by geelw

Hey, I love looking at naked ladies in bad movies as much as the next guy or gal who loves looking at naked ladies in bad movies, but a film like the incomprehensible mess that is Future Women (or The Girl From Rio, Rio ’70, City Without Men, The Seven Secrets of Sumuru, Sumuru: Queen of Femina, and of all things, Mothers of America) makes me want to shift that hobby to watching paint dry or grass grow instead.

Directed by cult schlockmesiter supremo Jesús “Jess” Franco and seemingly edited by a team of eyeless chimps who probably dropped the film into a blender (and who also did some of the wretchedly amusing “special” effects), this is one of those lame Bond copycats that gets nothing right because its source material never should have been altered into the 007 wannabe nonsense-fest that will have your brain running out of the room about halfway in. But yeah, it’s got a bunch of naked and half-naked ladies and is kinda sorta of based on a story by Sax Rohmer , so there’s that. Continue reading →

MVD and Arrow Films Shoot More Mature Movies Your Way Soon

Posted on February 20, 2015 by geelw

Wow. Since I was so darn busy these past few weeks (and still am), I missed the second email from Clint over at MVD and almost missed the third until a friend reminded me to check and see what movies Arrow Films was getting out on DVD here in the U.S. of A. over the next few months. Well, here you go, then – six more films ABSOLUTELY not for the kiddies coming to Blu-Ray or DVD. Three in April, three more in May. yes I can count – you’ll see if you keep reading… Continue reading →

VHS Video Cover Art – May Blooms Up A Killer Book From Schiffer

Posted on February 11, 2015 by geelw

Oh, yeah. As someone who grew up in the VHS era and had a rather huge collection of films (long sold off, sadly), seeing a book like this coming in May from Schiffer Publishing gets me all giddy. VHS: Video Cover Art by Thomas “The Dude Designs” Hodge (and yes, that nickname sounds straight outta the eighties) is a 9″ x 12″ hardcover, will feature 264 pages, 570 color photos (and an index, of course) and cost $34.99, a pittance for the sheer amount of nostalgia guaranteed to be on display.

For me, this one is a “shut up and buy it” book if there ever was one. I’ve looked over the first 24 pages and had a huge grin on my face that’s still lingering. This one’s going to do well amongst the collectors out there and any movie fan looking for an excellent gift will want to keep an eye peeled for when this drops into stores in a few months. Color me excited, folks. Between this and those Mill Creek collections I’ve been picking up for dirt cheap lately, my teenage years are coming back full force. Er, without the awkwardness around the ladies and doing stupid stuff for fun part…

MVD Visual & Arrow Films Make For A Perfect Pairing For Genre Fans

Posted on January 29, 2015 by geelw

All you UK movie collectors can now cease with the bragging about Arrow Films and their wonderful collection of cult favorites because MVD Visual is teaming up with them to distribute at least some of those films in North America. The first three out of the game will be Day of Anger [I Giorni dell’ira, aka Gunlaw], Blind Woman’s Curse and Mark of the Devil, all restored to their original cinematic glory. Each Blu-Ray/DVD will retail for 39.99, but as you know, shopping online will get you a lower price (as in follow those links above and save ten bucks, folks!)

I have memories of seeing two out of three of these flicks, but I’ll save my impressions for review time. Color me thrilled at the prospect of expanding my film library as well as some of your horizons in the not too distant future…

Random Film of the Week(end): Malibu High

Posted on January 25, 2015 by geelw

In the storied pantheon of “High school girl goes bad, turns to prostitution and murder to make ends meet, meets end tragically” films, Irvin Berwick’s 1979 exploitation classic Malibu High is probably the “best” of the bunch. Well, I’m not sure “best” is the proper word to use for a film this bizarre, but you genre fans know what I mean.

That cute poster on the left makes it look like a typical pre-80’s sex comedy flick packed with lowbrow laughs. But man, is it oh soooooooo misleading. Yes, there are laughs to be had here and plenty of them. But the film’s general tone straddles the line between parody and interesting attempts to be serious with breathtaking results… Continue reading →

Random Films: Bad Movies: It’s What’s For Dinner!

Posted on January 20, 2015 by geelw

Okay, I couldn’t help myself. After the cheesy charm of Mill Creek Entertainment‘s 50 movie bundle Sci-Fi Invasion sent me to Nostalgialand, I had to have more. Fortunately, I was able to track down five more of these sets for dirt cheap ($35 shipped for everything) and now never need to go outside again. Well, that’s a bit of an overstatement. Sure, there are all so-so transfers and if I had enough bandwidth, a load of time and a bigger hard drive I could look around the internet and get all of these for no money at all. But I’m a perfect example of someone who can’t use any streaming service at home thanks to jumpy internet as well as one of many who just prefer physical media over downloads. I’m not so fond of this digital future everyone is pushing for because it’s too much trouble and expense to keep up with every trend.

That and many of these tech items that are supposed to be changing the world are ending up to be disappointing failures. Segway, 3DTV and Google Glass owners who got sucked into those technological wonders as early adopters shelling out small fortunes are probably feeling a lot less chatty these days. Unless of course they’re those staunch defenders who claim we all didn’t “get” what the “future” those expensive toys were supposed to bring the world. Now, I’m NOT against new inventions and innovations at all. It’s just that people will be people and think that recreating stuff from movies that should stay in movies and/or thinking people will adopt every bizarre idea as the next big thing has led to a LOT of time and money wasted. Work on saving the damn planet, not just trying to sell us stuff and maybe I’ll be impressed…

Anyway, I have some movies to watch (“SOME” he says? HA!). Not now, but soon, as I’ve a ton of work in my inbox. Um, anyone want to come over and watch too many bad movies? Bring food and beverages, because I’ll probably be feeling far too lazy to cook anything.

Okay, back in a bit…

Don’t Let Stuff Bug You, Live Longer!

Posted on January 17, 2015 by geelw

(thanks again, Sleaze-O-Rama!)

This is pretty common sense stuff, but we all need to be occasionally reminded that a bit of positive thinking will keep you alive a bit longer. According to a new study from the University of Illinois (along with a few of other studies like this one that show similar results). Yeah, yeah. I know some of you happen to people who like your gloomy outlooks, black roses floating in your bath water and droning music while you cook your dinner while smoking three cigarettes at once and drinking gin from the bottle. But think of living longer like this: You get to be around longer to spread your glum tidings and gain a few new followers. That is, should you be a part of any sort of social scene and actually care about that sort of thing. Anyway, cheer up and be glad you’re not hiding in a cave from hard to kill grabby giant wasps.

That said, you’ll probably get blind-sided by some stroller pushing super-mom on her cellphone right into the path of a bus, however. Stop wearing those sunglasses at night next time and maybe cut down to a pack a day so you can see outside the range of the cloud of smoke you’re usually hidden under. You may thank me later if you like. This has been a public service announcement.

Random Films: Robo Vampire Makes My Monday More Tolerable…

Posted on January 5, 2015 by geelw

(thanks, andybluefox!)

Well, the plasterer is at lunch for an hour (yes, he left before noon!), so there’s a pause in today’s nightmare. In the meantime, after taking some more pinup photos of the wreckage in the kitchen, to keep my sanity level somewhere close to normal I’ve been catching up on some bad movies. Godfrey Ho’s 1988 howler Robo Vampire made my morning thanks to it being even worse (and much funnier) than its title suggests. Swiping badly from Paul Verhoeven’s stellar Robocop is bad enough to dismiss this without even watching it. But toss in hopping ghosts (wait, how does a cyborg fight ghosts outside of some seven-year old kid’s notebook scribbles?), mercenaries, long water torture scenes and slow, dull “chases” and editing that makes the film seem like three or four movies spliced together and you get an instant classic. Well, “classic” in that “How the hell did this ever get made?” manner. Seriously. I’ve seen student films with better quality EVERYTHING than this clunker.

Ah well. Everything exists for a reason, I suppose. This crazy flick just kept me laughing through the continuing (and seemingly never ending) mess that is my apartment. I suppose I should thank Mill Creek Entertainment somewhere in all this because I’m too lazy and busy to seek out and download all those public domain flicks I paid ten bucks for and still consider that a steal because that’s time and bandwidth money I didn’t need to waste. Back in a bit…

Sunday’s Cool: It’s A Damn Fine Day For Cleaning…

Posted on January 4, 2015 by geelw

Good Homekeeping Tip #12: Yeah, you should kind of vacuum those rugs more often, people. If not, they tend to spring to life and wreak havoc amongst the citizenry. No important posts today, thanks to me getting some stuff ready for tomorrow’s return of the kitchen killers (aka: the “plasterers”) and my deciding to pretty much veg out and watch too damn many bad movies today thanks to the crappy weather. I sometimes do the rugs here twice a week, by the way. That’s due to a lot of traffic in and out of here more than an OCD or anything. Alrighty – I’ll be back tomorrow in a more productive mood. Or at least I better be, ha and ha-ha…

The Invasion Has Begun (Finally!)…

Posted on January 3, 2015 by geelw

Yeah, yeah. Some of you have this budget-priced collection of mostly crappy sci-fi/fantasy flicks with a few old TV shows no one over a certain age knows about already. But I’m late to the party and loving it, warts and all. I’ll probably drop in a few Random Film of the Week posts on some of these flicks at some point. I spent too much of last night and early this morning scanning through some of the fifty films spread across a dozen discs mostly laughing my head off or having my eyes pop out of my head at some of the wilder films. I’d actually seen some of them long ago on TV but forgot all about them, so being reminded that they existed was probably the most amusing thing.

That said, it’s too bad the video formatting and picture quality is all over the map in this set. The best-looking films are some of the made for TV stuff or the older black and white films and TV shows that were made to fit screens of a certain size. Some of the theatrical features suffer with the sides if images chopped off and/or too grainy/too dark transfers that make them hard to sit through. Still, a few of the gems I’ve wanted to see again are here, so R.O.T.O.R. is going to crack me up all over again and probably be close to the top of the list as a review. or perhaps I’ll do Slipstream, a really offbeat sci-fi flick with Mark Hamill and Bill Paxton I’d only heard and read about but never saw until last night. We’ll see, however. I only made it through two full movies and seven discs worth of watching assorted clips before I keeled over. The entire set is 70 hours, 34 minutes and I’ll probably watch every second. Even those awful Rocky Jones, Space Ranger shows from the 50’s will get a look-see from me. Hey, I have to know what my folks were watching back in the day, right?

Well, at least I won’t be whining about having nothing to watch for a while, right?