In case you’re new to Greenvale or just dropping by here for the first time, let’s talk about Sheriff George Woodman again just so you’re up to speed on the man and his antics. FBI Special Agent Francis York (just call him York!)Morgan and he don’t get along well at all for a few reasons, but as you’re new, I’ll not go into all of them today. One thing that really ticks off York is George’s penchant for awful practical jokes at his expense. It’s bad enough to get a KICK KILL ME sign taped to your back that you don’t discover for the better part of the day (and only after the gal you’ve been eying, chatting with and potentially getting closer to sees it and starts laughing at you), but lately, it seems he’d going too far…

At the A&G Diner this morning, I overheard York talking to himself (…or someone who wasn’t there named “Zach” or something) about wondering what that axe and smelly costume was doing in George’s police car’s trunk and why that jerk was pulling such a stupid stunt when that Red Seeds Killer case wasn’t even solved Man, that George… What a total loser, huh? All I’ll say is if that killer gets wind of him and his stinky replica costume, the sheriff will be the one behind bars because he’ll need to sleep in the damn jail just to be on the safe side… what a creep…

Hey, speaking of creeps, prepare to get a whole caseload of them in a week’s time when Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut lands in stores on April 30, 2013 exclusively for the PlayStation 3 from Rising Star Games. The updated HD visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, Trophies, all-new DLC and over 100 improvements over the original version should all have you halfway to hell or under the couch or both as you try to solve the mystery of the Red Seeds Killer before he strikes again. Personally, If I were York, I’d knock George on the head with a shovel and toss him in the trunk with his getup just so he won’t get in the way like it’s an episode of Scooby-Doo and there’s no fake killer to get “exposed” while the real one runs free. “Meddling kids!” indeed…

Hey, look! No, not here – up at that cool “launch” trailer above. Game Director Swery 65 is away today resting (so he says, but I was him in disguise at the Swery 65 Bar earlier because of the autograph seekers), so instead of a “candid” pic, you get that trailer to ogle. As for who he’s dressed as, well… I can’t tell you or he’d get upset. That said, he did leave a really tantalizing clue only a small amount of his TRUE fans can decipher. Something about a “Spy Fiction” or what have you… Hmmm…

And you thought YOU hated Mondays? Well, imagine being some poor underemployed Shadow who can’t even have the satisfaction of having a job to get to on a Monday morning just to hang out at the water cooler and whine about how last weekend was too short and it’s back to the daily grind and blah, blah, blah. Of course, that shadow just so happens to be a resident of Greenvale, where there’s actually decent work for her type when a certain game director brings his development team into town and needs to put together an updated version of his last project. I think she’s bent over backward here because that work has come to a close and there’s nothing to do now but moan and creep around the woods scaring small to medium sized animals and the occasional tourist that strolls off the beaten path.

Naturally, Greenvale’s actual residents aren’t really to scared of these shadows, as they’re quite used to all sorts of weird happenings in their town. If you’re headed there for vacation and want to give one or more of them a nice ego boost, pretend to be totally freaked out when you see them and run around in a circle for about thirty seconds screaming like a squeezed duck. That should make someone smile and tell their Shadow friends that they “got another one!” when they’re having that beer party on Friday behind the Swery 65 Bar…

By now, you know that you should be thrilled that there’s only a week until Rising Star Games gets Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut for the PlayStation 3 into stores. This PS3 exclusive features updated HD visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, Trophies, all-new DLC and over 100 improvements over the original version. Your next Monday won’t be spent griping and groaning at all unless you’re somehow facing the wrong way when you start playing and complaining that you can’t see anything. Just don’t do that with someone else in the room of they’ll call you crazy and have the men in white coats come to take you for a ride. Then you’ll REALLY have something to whine about when you end up not being able to play the game at all until you get released…

One person who’s very probably having an ABSOLUTELY fine Monday is Game Director Swery 65. I’d bet he’s pretty much sitting around in a bar or coffee shop somewhere checking his email, having a(nother) tasty burger and beverage combo while updating his Facebook page with a quick post or Instagram photo (or both) and just hanging out enjoying himself while he waits patiently for the first reviews to roll in. I’d say he’s got nothing to fear in terms of too many gamers and editor-types NOT liking the game, as it’s already gone through that wringer once and is now seen as a genre classic by many who fell under its strange spell…