Can you imagine a Resident Evil game where you HAD to keep getting killed by all sorts of enemies? Good, neither can I. Of course, if you’re really bad at the game and constantly freaked out by the horrors stumbling and shuffling about on that boat from hell, well… you can always go get someone to play the game for you while you camp out on the couch and jump when something scary pops up and starts chasing your surrogate around. Then again, no one likes a back seat driver when they’re playing a game you’re to scared to play, right?

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRl5B3p_0Kw]

That hot breath on your neck isn’t that handsome hunk or hot babe who was eyeballing you at the bar the other week, that’s for sure. And hell, even if it is, he or she is all undead and stinky enough that even a box full of clothespins soaked in assorted essential oils would do nothing buy squeeze your poor nose and leave it sore and smelling nicer. Anyway, may I suggest high collars and sleeves made from chain mail and some handy lessons with a machete in case that thing chasing you gets up close and too personal. Better safe than sorry, that’s for sure. Resident Evil Revelations is coming to the PC, PS3, Wii U and Xbox 360 on May 21, 2013… prepare for a long trip at sea and plenty of creatures who don’t get seasick hot on your heels…

Of course, you’d figure with all these unsettling warnings being found in all these Resident Evil games, the less intrepid special agent or neophyte zombie hunters out there would want to turn right on around and go home to catch up on those TV shows they’ve been missing out on, but nope. Usually, it’s a “one way in, one way out” situation where they’d better suck it up and press forwards, as there’s usually something large that’s going to be nipping at their heels soon enough. Well, substitute “whole body” for heels and yeah, you get the idea. I say wear some comfortable running shoes and do a bit of stretching before setting out to take down those monsters. There’s nothing worse (or more embarrassing) than pulling a hammy when you’re running away from something that’s slow moving but has a hell of a lot more teeth than you do. Resident Evil Revelations is headed for the PC, PS3, Xbox 360 and Wii U on May 21, 2013 – “Be there, Aloha!”