Godzilla Wants To Know: What Are YOU Doing On Friday? Or Thursday Night, For That Matter?

Well, if the answer is “NOTHING”, well dear sir or madame… it looks as you have a hot date with a big angry radioactive lizard (like it or not and he WILL come get you). Although I hear those Thursday shows have sold out in some areas, so there’s that to consider. Of course, Friday will be a crunch of people storming the cinema, stepping on toes and sitting in your popcorn if you do show up, so there’s that to consider. I’d go myself on that day, but given that the last movie theater here is officially closed and being turned into a freakin’ T.J. Maxx or some other shop we don’t need around here (although, if it IS a Maxx, i’ll op in to look at the food section), I’d need to travel into Manhattan and go to an even MORE packed theater (yuck). Eh, we’ll see. I’ll probably go see this on a quiet mid-afternoon when the kids are at school and there are mostly old curious people in that theater because it’s hot outside and they’re getting that discount on a matinee. Hey, I’m getting up to that age anyway, so I may as well see how the other half lives, right?

Godzilla Poster Gallery Update: That Big New Lizard Inspires Some Mighty Fine Works Of Art

godzilla_ver8_xlgI hadn’t checked in on the Godzilla gallery over at Imp Awards in a while, but the need to dig up posters for some other films had me check to see what was new and wow, were there some nice additions. Granted, they’re not all my taste and I think a few are overdone. Nevertheless, all are striking and would make excellent additions to any movie fan’s walls and/or collection. I wish I had room here (or still collected movie posters, for that matter)…

godzilla_xlg godzilla_ver2_xlg godzilla_ver3_xlg godzilla_ver4_xlg godzilla_ver5 godzilla_ver6_xlg godzilla_ver7_xlg godzilla_ver9_xlg godzilla_ver10_xlg godzilla_ver11_xlg godzilla_ver12_xlg godzilla_ver13 godzilla_ver14_xlg godzilla_ver15_xlg godzilla_ver16_xlg

But wait, there’s MORE! Product placement, anyone? (and VERY amusing product placement at that!):

Hmmmmm… I wonder how much FIAT had to pay to be the first commercial to REALLY show the new Godzilla off? Probably way too much to contemplate, but at least they did a spectacular job with this commercial. Um, in case you haven’t figured it out after all those posters AND the commercial, Godzilla opens here May 16, 2014.

Godzilla “You’re Hiding Something” TV Spot: Oh Yeah, Under WHAT?

You’d need quite a big raincoat or duffel bag to be smuggling a Godzilla around, I say. Oh, wait… that’s not what’s being hid? Oops. Hey, it’s my birthday today, so I can do what I want (well, within reason). I told some beat cop earlier I was going to be out stomping on buildings and roaring at passersby and he suggested it was okay as long as I wasn’t using a bullhorn (those are supposed to be illegal here in NYC), I wasn’t being disruptive (no stomping after 8PM) or wearing a mask in public (also illegal under certain circumstances). Oh, and I might require some sort of PERMIT? Damn, that was a party-crushing moment for me, as I know what it’s like to apply for a permit here in the big city (between the lines and those fees, OY!). Crap, I should have applied for that paper two months ahead of time, huh? Oh well, next year… next year…

The Ultimate Godzilla Collection: Destroy All Mondays? Sony Pictures & Toho Would Probably Appreciate That…

TGC_May 2014Sony Pictures Entertainment has released the latest in its Toho Godzilla Collection Blu-Ray collection, this time featuring two more films with everyone’s favorite ticked off giant radioactive lizard: Godzilla Vs. Destoroyah and Godzilla Vs. Megaguirus. You can grab yours at your nearest Wal-Mart or Best Buy location or if you’re an online shopper, Amazon.com is most likely your poison.

Of course, you’ll probably want a few more of the films from this monstrous set and I’d bet each of these retailers can help you out on that front. As you already know, that new Godzilla opens up May 16th here in North America, so if you want to go through every single Godzilla flick before then, now is a good time to start. Granted, that new film is a totally different bird – a re-imagining/reboot, if you please. But I know that canon-crazed fans out there will be looking for all sorts of Easter eggs and nods to their favorite films in this well-aged franchise…

You’ll Never Be As Loud As Godzilla, But Knock Yourself Out Anyway…

 
Nope. Not gonna happen, people. You try to join this over-sized hog calling contest and all you’ll get is a very bad sore throat, trust me. Of course, you’ll want to prove me wrong, but I’ll be right and talking about you while you’ll be home with a raw throat sucking down a bottle of honey with your nice chicken soup. Yeah, one of those cute bear bottles – whatever makes you happy. Anyway, I say let the monster itself do what it does best (well ONE of the things it does best) and stay the heck out of his way:

 
There, THAT’S more like it. May 16th is stomping up soon, isn’t it? Yes it is!

Hmmm, How Do Those Godzilla Trailers Look In Japanese? Let’s Take A Peek!

Aha, so that’s how they’re doing things over there. Cool. I love all of these reworked trailers and the nice slice of theme music below, so good on you, Toho for fully embracing this reboot with open arms and getting Godzilla fans in the place he was born just as thrilled as folks here.

Godzilla opens in North America on May 16, 2014. When does it open in Japan? Um… it’s in one of those trailers above, right?

Godzilla “Nature Has An Order” TV Spot: Or: If It’s Bigger Than You, RUN!

 
Yeah, you’ve probably figured that out as well, but just in case you have yet to for some strange reason, there it is in plain English. Some of you will no doubt want to stop and take a selfie or something stupid like that before you make with the light jogging stuff, but I say go right on ahead. No one will miss you that much once you’re stomped flat other than the people who are used to you jamming a camera at them to snap away or being a photo-bombing pest they’re actually sad to see gone because they never got any work done when you were snapping away. Anyway, May 16, 2014 at a theater near you. Bring a hardhat (just in case) and maybe a first aid kit (just in case).

Godzilla “Extended Look” Trailer: Well, “Look And Run Like Hell” Is More Accurate…

 
Ah, the plot thickens… I’m sure some will be growling and screaming that this trailer “gives away too much”, but given that some have been SO skeptical that a western-made Godzilla would be once again, “crap on a stick” have been proven wrong, I say shut it and enjoy the longer peek at what’s going to pack them into the seats in just over a month. The big guy is back and probably louder than bombs this time out. That and hell, unless you’re reading Empire magazine or looking at comic or toy blogs, you REALLY haven’t seen all of Godzilla yet. Good going, WB and Legendary Pictures!

Godzilla “Courage” TV Spot: Well, That Depends On One Thing…

 
As noted above, it indeed does Depend on the person who decides to fight that big radioactive beastie and whether of not he or she’s got some adult diapers packed in that backpack when they go leaping out of a plane or other assault vehicle with intent on their faces (and the possibility of poop in their pants). Me, I’d be finding the fastest way out of town and double-timing it over some kids, puppies and grannies in the process. Hey, SOMEONE needs to write about surviving that hell and I’m not going to play the Raymond Burr part of Steve Martin from the 1956 US version of the original Gojira. When I sign off, it’ll be from the comfort of a faraway location and there won’t be any building falling on my head either. Yes, I’m basically the Dr. Zachary Smith* of bloggers, but at least I’m honest about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look up some proper hiding places that are new Godzilla proof!

*(Well, Dr. Smith after the first few episodes of Lost in Space when he transformed from an actual creepy threat into full-on comic relief mode. The man must have been hit on the head or something during a Jupiter 2 crash!)

Godzilla “Whatever It Takes” Tv Spot: Okay, Now You’re Just Showing Off…

 
Alright, you big radioactive lizard, that’s it. We’re ONLY at what, the THIRD new TV ad and it’s already a “nothing stops it, not even the bomb!” moment? Well, okay then. I guess that’s a good thing, right? Although I’d have personally preferred a gag clip insert of Slim Pickens riding that H-bomb down to glory from Dr. Strangelove to no effect (this time) just to get people who remember that film chuckling and those who’ve never seen it (but need to) wondering where the hell that scene came from. Yaaaa-hooooo! Anyway, Godzilla opens here in the US on May 16, 2014.