It’s Tuesday, Right? Time To Take A Little DETOUR…

Posted on June 18, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, you had a bad day at work, right? You look like you could use a break from that grumbling and mumbling about chasing your boss around the office with a blunt object as well as a little lesson in karma. Here’s probably the best cure for your troubles in one of the most amazing film noir gems you’ll ever hit your eyeballs with. I think I did a Random Film of the Week on Detour previously, but I’m too tired to check.

EDIT! Nope, I did NOT do one – this will be rectified soon!)

Anyway, pull up a seat, Pete and feast your eyeballs on this dusty jewel that still packs quite a punch. Watch out for Ann Savage as Vera here – she’ll cut you if you don’t watch your back… or worse… maybe.

Monday Night Still Manic? Think of the Little People And Smile…

Posted on June 17, 2013 by geelw

No, I don’t mean “think of the little people” as you sit there twirling your mustache (real, imagined, or candy) with one hand, counting money with the other and eating finger sandwiches with the crusts cut off with the third. Yes, your boss has a third arm – not because he’s an alien at all, but because he could afford the damn surgery (yeah, he’s easily bored). I mean look at the video above of Buster Shaver, Olive and George from this Vitaphone Pepper Pot and be amazed that holy hot pretzels, vaudeville was mighty amazing back in the day. Naturally, some would call this “Reality TV” today, but I think this stuff is MUCH better than the so-called “variety” we see that’s mostly the same stuff but with battlin’ judges (boo!).

Of course, some bossy types may get a wee bit TOO worked up and consider lovely Olive being whipped around like an overworked machine part something like the “magic” they work on the employees they lord over (“Mua-ha-ha-haaaa!”). But that’s when they choke on that tiny sliced sammich and see little angels with pointy pitchforks dancing around their heads for a hot second before the maid (or the wife flipping a coin and damning her luck) gives them a Heimlich-assisted kick in the gut. Lucky bastard… we’ll get you next time…

Let The Three Queens Make Your Monday Less Manic – They Do All The Work For You!

Posted on June 17, 2013 by geelw

It’s another Monday and just look at you. Sitting at that desk in that cubicle in that office in THAT building in that block on that street in that city in that zip code in that state (if applicable) in that country on that planet. Your coffee’s long gone cold and has the shape of a crazy upside down face formed from the artificially flavored creamer doing its chemical thing, your desk looks as if a small tornado fell out of your pockets or handbag and blew across it and your boss it taking the day off because he’s the boss and you’re not. Or he’s there and you were .29 seconds late and he’s giving you a look as if you drove up to his home, kicked his expensive dog as he was walking it that morning and then rolled in tardy because of it. Did I mention that your inbox just got 500 more messages you haven’t yet seen? Yeah, that’s a Monday, isn’t it? Well, cheer up.. or at least let the The Three Queens dance your foul mood into powder as you watch that video above and pretend they’re tap-tap-tapping away right next to your desk. Or on the head of your boss, if you’re one of those more stubborn people. If that’s the case, cheer up, I say. There’s not another Monday coming until next week…

E3 2013: Oh, Microsoft… You’re Making This TOO Easy…

Posted on June 14, 2013 by geelw

(video swiped from YouTuber Rinoa Leonhart)

So, the Xbox One. Yeah, THAT Xbox One. Did you know it has the computational POWER of ten Xbox 360’s? No? Well, Microsoft says so and while it’s probably true as the sky is blue (under certain circumstances) and the sun always rises even if you can’t see it (always, so far). Amusingly enough… I was planning to post that clip above BEFORE this article appeared (you WILL laugh at some point while reading it, trust me), but I got busy tinkering on a review and man, I feel as if they’re writing my lame comedy material for me and I don’t even OWN a Kinect.

At this point in damage control mode, you have to wonder when they’ll just start sending out white or black vans rolling around neighborhoods to grab random strangers off the street and MAKE them play a game just to show off how much POWER their system has. POWER, I tells ya… Granted, you still can’t use it offline unless you’re online first (subject to change based on day of the week and a update to the licensing agreement) and that new Kinect is always on even if you shut it “off”, but POWER! Wondrous working POWER… *Crack*, BOOOOOM!!!

OK, OK… I’ll knock it off now… Jeez…

Random Film of the Week: The Magic Sword

Posted on June 13, 2013 by geelw

(Thanks, Alistair Knight!)

Us-ually, I like to write up these RFotW posts alone, as I sometimes rely on memory and a re-viewing of a film to do some precision pre and post watching-progression in a few notes before writing. That said, I actually hadn’t planned on writing up The Magic Sword at all, but I was dropping off a loaner game at a friend’s, he happened to let me know that the movie was coming on TCM in about twenty four minutes and asked if I wanted to hang out and watch it.

My eyebrow went up, as I’m quite a busy guy this week… but I can be bribed under the proper circumstances (usually with food). “Toss in a pizza for two as a bonus for the pleasure of my company and we’re on”, I gently “suggest”. Hey, I’m no fool and double hey, he owes me a favor anyway, so it’s a deal.

A call was made, no anchovies were laid and thankfully, that pie was here exactly two minutes before the film started. I hadn’t seen it for a number of years, so I figured “what the hell!” as it would be interesting to see what happens when I sit down with an audience (hey, an extra person is an audience to me!) to catch something I’m usually trying to concentrate on alone for later article-worthy purposes. Ah, the best-laid plans of mice and men (and Bemis) get steamrolled into heckle-filled hilarity as the film in question wasn’t quite as good in some aspects as remembered… Continue reading →

Playing With The Girls: Carrie Poster Makeover Adds Back A Little Suspense…

Posted on June 10, 2013 by geelw

OK, I was bored last night poking around the internet for E3 news and such, so when I happened to see this new Carrie poster, I had to chuckle a bit because it was a case of a little too much TMI in having the tagline AND title on the same ad. So, a quick MS Paint edit and voila! – you get at least a tiny bit of suspense back in a film that pretty much gives it all away in the poster and trailer anyway (just like the original did).

Hey, it only took me about 30 seconds to do this, so it’s not like I really did anything amazing… OK, back to actual work!

Random Film of the Week(end): The Conversation

Posted on June 8, 2013 by geelw

It’s not surprising at all to me that everything we do on the internet or on the phone is monitored and for the most part, the average Joe and Jane is too caught up in not paying attention to this as an important issue and continues yakking or clicking away because they don’t see sanctioned invisible nosiness as a problem until it stomps on their big toe while chasing someone else.

That or there’s an “Oh well, what can you do?” attitude that’s only changed when they find out how bad things really are before case of mild online petition signing and outrage slides back into apathy as soon as that new Kardashian photo or cute cat video pops up in your inbox. Yeah, you know that’s you in there somewhere… I’ve got the transcripts if you want to come check them out sometime…

Anyway, The Conversation may (and should) make you even more paranoid as you’re watching it, but feel free to feel delighted as well as its eavesdropping surveillance whiz (Gene Hackman in one of his best performances) has his world fall apart around him while he plays catch-up with his conscience. For me, this is my favorite Francis Ford Coppola film because it’s still as timely, smart and ultimately depressing as it was when it was released almost 40 years (!) ago.

Continue reading →

?able Humor: Bad Day Rising? Mr. O’Connor Will Set You Straight in 4:08…

Posted on June 6, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, ozabbavo77!)

I remember when I didn’t like musicals much at all, but I’d say that was because I didn’t watch too many of them. I started to fall for them gradually by way of their sneaky as hell way of cracking me up with their precise choreography, offbeat choice of locations or just the sheer number of performers hoofing it up with broad smiles and seemingly not breaking a sweat. I know I nearly fell off a chair laughing the first time I saw Busby Berkeley’s name in a film’s credits because it sounded exactly like the name of someone who’d throw a hundred women and a handful of men into a huge studio and make them dance on a big revolving tower cake staircase a few stories tall until they were doing it in their sleep (and perhaps wanted him a little bit dead for that kind of torture)…

Continue reading →

Random Film of the Week: Invaders From Mars (1953)

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

Thanks to the need to quickly get out product to audiences rabid for the fantastic, plenty of 1950’s sci-fi and horror movies look as if they were tossed together on a few weekends or less by people more or less making stuff up as they went along. Granted, this led to some true classics of awesomely wretched in-excess (otherwise known as “Z” movie greatness around here), but there were also some surprisingly well-made gems that still pack a punch in terms of story, design and overall impact.

Despite two out of three unconvincing-looking aliens (the third one’s the charm) and a bit too much military stock footage inserted to show loads of troops on the move, Invaders From Mars in squarely in the latter camp thanks to its director and production designer, William Cameron Menzies. The multiple Oscar winner applied his keen eye to the film’s visual style, which presents an alien invasion primarily from the point of view of the young boy who sees a saucer land in the field behind his house. Of course, no one believes him, but as things start to go strange around him, there are a few that finally see the light and fight back against the aliens… Continue reading →

Hump Day With The Ross Sisters: Don’t Get It Twisted, Mister…

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

I’d forgotten all about the almost forgettable 1944 musical Broadway Rhythm until I was flipping around with the remote looking for something to work to as background noise for a bit of writing and boom, I see that TCM is showing the wonderful documentary That’s Entertainment III, an instant watch just for the old Hollywood history lesson and ton of rejected clips and alternate takes from more great MGM musicals. Anyway, they ran the end of this incredible dance sequence featuring The Ross Sisters (their sole film appearance) and as I watched it, I recalled I’d seen part of this film before, but changed the channel just before the “Solid Potato Salad” number where the gals do their thing.

Ouch, and ouch and ouch – all this clip reminds me of is how I really need to exercise more. Well, not to THAT point of flexibility, though. Hell, I almost broke a hip watching this. Anyway, nope, no special effects or stunt doubles here – just a lot of practice and probably no chemically packed fast food slowing them down one bit. Er, don’t try this at home, folks. Or at least keep an ambulance on speed dial…