Update Before the Update Department: Some Kinect-ing Thoughts…

Posted on August 22, 2012 by geelw

So, I played a bit of Dragon Ball Z Kinect yesterday and (*surprise!* ) I didn’t hate it at all. It looks great (well, for a DBZ game), the controls are simple enough to understand (I’d say most fans will appreciate them more than non-fans) and yes, there’s a good workout in there with all that punching, ducking and occasional jumping you’ll be doing.I didn’t ask if there was a calorie counter option, but they will definitely be burned as this game is played…

That’s a good thing, although I’d bet once it hit stores, more kids will enjoy the game than adults. I was about to keel over like a fallen oak tree after one fight. Maybe Namco Bandai is planning some sort of revenge on jaded, out of shape games journalists who keep knocking them when they try to do something different. Then again, I’m not jaded, just really out of shape. The amount of physical exertion needed to play DBZ keeps it from really being a “casual” game experience and it looks as if families with a Kinect in the living room will be getting another game to keep them occupied (and relocating furniture before a foot goes through it).

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BioShock Infinite Drops Its Multiplayer Modes. I Am Happy As Hell It Did So.

Posted on August 9, 2012 by geelw

Yes, and Yes! and thank you, Irrational Games. Sure, running around and shooting each other in the face would have brought in more of that crowd who loves this sort of thing in other genres, but for my money (and despite the second installment’s inclusion of MP), the BioShock series has ALWAYS been about the solo experience and the story. Period. This latest move in a game that’s currently in a rather bumpy development cycle/delay phase will in fact, be a MUCH stronger game experience now focused on storytelling and pure immersion in the world Ken Levine and company want to create. The primary issue with most all MP modes in a story-driven game such as this is they require a much larger suspense of disbelief than the single player campaigns (why am I running around shooting other people in the face? Where does this fit into the overall plot and why should I care if it has nothing to do with the main narrative and reason i bought the game in the first place?).

Additionally, as much fun as multiplayer modes can be, in the case of games such as this, Hal-Life, or Dishonored, they can be seen as a pure waste of resources if you consider the overall power of each game’s storytelling. This is especially valid if the main game suffers because of a multiplayer focus that’s unnecessary and only designed to boost sales to a crowd that has a huge variety of games focused on their needs. Of course, some will disagree entirely with my happy dancing ways, but I’m betting that the end result of all this rejiggering will be worth any additional delays added to the game’s development schedule. Off to find something appropriate to dance around the room to…

LG’s Yearly Texting Contest Irks Me To No End…

Posted on August 9, 2012 by geelw

So, let’s get this perfectly straight: some kid wins $50,000 (more than the average salary for many entry level to middle class jobs out there) because he’s basically the modern day version of the best hog caller or best auctioneer? Yeesh. Where the hot holy hell is all this money floating around that I can’t get for doing much harder work over a longer period of time? What good is being the fastest texter in rel life unless someone has you rolled up in a rug and is about to toss you into the trunk of a car or you’re hidden in a closet as a burglar is poking through your sock drawer? Hell, give ME that 50K, LG and I’ll put it into this site so I can get more done daily than this kid got done during his few minutes of fame.

Oh well, at least he’s smart enough to be socking away his winnings for his college fund and not boozing it up or buying a car he’ll wreck while boozed up. That said, memo to LG: at this point, he’s a ringer (no pun intended). He’s won this prize more than once, which should disqualify him from future contests, which is only fair. Then again, as this is a yearly thing, I’m sure the next tiny button tapping whiz is pecking away (and raising his or her parent’s data plan bills in the process). $50,000… for texting? Holy crap, do we live in some messed up times or what? Stupid question number two: What does the second place winner get? If it’s nothing, then something’s really wrong there.

Video courtesy PhoneArena.

The Woz vs. The Cloud: Oh, He’s Nailed It Just About Perfectly…

Posted on August 8, 2012 by geelw

When you get the co-founder of Apple telling you the cloud sort of stinks as a reliable storage medium, you know it’s kind of important. Of course, the man works at a cloud computing service, so perhaps he’s just doing some PR for that company and scaring up some business in the process.

Anyway, I know the carefree digital hipster rubes out there who think ease of use trumps personal security are pooh-poohing his words away as they stack more files away magically to retrieve them at some later date, but let’s play a game for a minute. Can you imagine the sheer panic when (not if, kids, WHEN) there’s another Dropbox hack or worse, some natural disaster that takes out some servers in an undisclosed location, making retrieving those files next to (or completely) impossible? I’ll be sitting back with my popcorn watching people freak out because no one thought that their precious data would go up in digital smoke.

Of course, if the hit is bad enough (say, a foreign cyber-hack done right that screws us royally), I’ll be barricading myself inside with bottled water snacks and a wall of games from the collection as my last defense against the undead hordes who can’t get their devices to do anything at all.

“Braaaaaaiiiiins…”

Why Too Much Tech Might Cause A Second Big Industry Crash… Or Not

Posted on August 7, 2012 by geelw

Between a few parallels with the gaming landscape in the early 80’s and the fact that the tide can’t stay in forever in terms of the constant push toward new tech at the cost of actual meaningful innovation, I think we’re in for a bit of a bumpy fall (and sooner than some think or even want to consider). There are too many divisions in the current business model between mobile, tablet, social, console and portable games, there’s a big pissing contest going on in the industry over which will kill of what first (despite the fact that they ALL can and should thrive together) and then there’s the whole online-only thing that’s 100% useless when you can’t get online. Don’t get me started on “free” to play games (which aren’t really free), the current PC elitism bile directed at consoles and the foolish Ultrabook nonsense where some companies thought making expensive laptops would be a good idea just because Apple has rooked in billions with its overpriced tech. Then there’s the stupidity of “the uncanny valley” or photo-realism in graphics, which, by the Great Green Pickle has NOTHING to do with gameplay or story (two things that are more important at the end of the day).

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Dissecting THE THING: Missing Minutiae, Merrily Making Modern Mistakes…

Posted on June 18, 2012 by geelw

While last year’s prequel to John Carpenter’s classic 1982 film was well-made and an effectively creepy good time, as a big fan of the original 1951 flick and of course, JC’s fine retelling… I was a tiny bit disappointed. For me, part of great suspense is all in the build up and despite some nice scares, the prequel loses a bit of suspense because it doesn’t build much empathy for its doomed cast (and loses some chances to once the monsters start appearing). Still, I found most the film fine until the entire alien saucer sequence complete with that all-too common “formerly flexible monster who can’t quite reach the heroine!” and “run like hell to escape the big explosion” set pieces we’ve all seen in too many other films. I’ll get to the “leave ’em hanging!” part of the pre-credit ending later, as there’s a great (and I think intentional) workaround there that could actually set up an actual sequel (should someone be crazy enough to make one)…

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Video Game Appreciation 101 (III): On Instructions and Necessary Antisocial Behavior

Posted on February 26, 2012 by geelw

This time, let’s talk briefly about pain management before moving on to today’s lesson. For this first part of the class, you’ll need a hammer and a hand. Yours, specifically, so you should have two. One-handed gamers are excused from this part of the lesson (unless you can hold a hammer in your prosthetic hand or have a friend who won’t mind lending a hand). Now, on the count of three, raise the hammer and hit your free hand… oh, somewhere around the thumb is fine. Not too hard, now.

Ready? One, Two, Three!

Oops.

As you can probably guess, most of you didn’t actually hit your hands. This is indeed a wise thing. Those of you who did are in a lot of pain and probably wondering why the other 99 percent of the class isn’t joining you curled up in a ball under their seats…

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Instead Of An Evil Dead 4, Why Not A…

Posted on July 25, 2011 by geelw

…remake of the 1970 horror flick Equinox, which can indeed be seen as a prequel of sorts to the Evil Dead films? Hell, it definitely inspired Sam Raimi and I’m crazy enough to see an influence or two in a few other horror films such as Phantasm and The Gate (but I could be wrong). Not to second guess anyone involved in the project, but I’d personally prefer Bruce Campbell to play something er, closer to his age range and not attempt to prance around like Harrison Ford in that last Indiana Jones flick (aided by stuntmen and CG work where necessary). OK, maybe I was a wee bit too influenced by Bubba Ho-Tep (see it if you haven’t – it’s weird and insanely funny) in judging Mr. Campbell’s current state (that Old Spice ad campaign from a few years back shows he still has it going on). Nevertheless, I just don’t want any of the crazier fans to get their hopes up and think there’s going to be a NEW trilogy of Evil Dead films with the new one kicking things off. After all, the movies DID inspire quite a few Duke Nukem quotes and we all know what happened when HE came back recently (and a few too many years late for some folks)…