New G.I. Joe Retaliation Trailer: What, Still No Bulletman?

 

GI_JOE_RetaliationAnd hey, where’s the Intruder? Anyway, after some reworking and a rather long delay (wasn’t this supposed to come out this year?), that G.I. Joe sequel is getting an official release date. It’s definitely much better looking than the first film and as you can see, they’re serious about the star-power on display. Hmmm, I wonder what the paychecks for the principals were? Bruce Willis has another Die Hard flick hitting theaters as well, so I’m guessing he’s saving up for a new boat or something. Or two boats. or a year’s supply of Headblades. I’m so glad he’s not an expensive toupee and Botox-using action guy like some others who will remain unnamed in this post. The man looks better as he is, I say…

OK, OK, I’m not really planning to see this in a theater, but it looks like it would be a heck of a lot of fun to catch on cable on a rainy Saturday or something. Some of these action flicks based on toys and comics are instant classics, but I’m not sure all the writing in the world or Willis and The Rock can save the fact that we’re looking at a film based on toys, er action figures that became a comic and an animated show, all of which were geared to kids who’d probably not be allowed to see it if it were released back when the toys first came out. Yeah, sometimes I think WAY too much about this stuff, but I just can’t take the Joes as seriously as some people who toss them up on a pedestal as some sort of ideal hero figure. Eh, whatever – pass the popcorn. I may as well enjoy the ride when I do get to see it.

If The World IS Going To End, I’m Goin’ Out Watching Cartoons…

Harveytoons NO, I’m not one of those doomsayers who’ve managed to mix up a bunch of ancient religions, useless superstitions and poor scientific knowledge into some crazy idea that the world will be no more thanks to a misread stone calendar, a planet we’d have seen for many years about to crash into us or some other scenario cooked up by people who shouldn’t watch so many bad movies late at night. But, whatever. All I know is I’ll be charging my laptop up just in case SOMETHING does happen and the power goes out so I can relive some childhood memories on the supposed day of dooms. If we all go up an a ball o’ fire, I’ll die with a smile on my face. If we don’t, I’ll still be smiling while others are demanding their money back from those folks who’ve raked in a mint from suckers who should know better. Anyway, if you hear some chuckling while people are jumping out of buildings screaming, that’s not me laughing at fools taking themselves out of the gene pool – that’s just me in front of the TV having a blast (and a big bowl of cereal, most likely)…

After Earth Trailer: M. Night Shyamalan Rolls The Dice Yet Again…

While this is a great looking trailer, I just KNOW there’s a collective “OK, which M. Night are we getting this time, folks?” rumbling all around the internet. Let’s see now, there’s “The clever twist you didn’t see coming!” one from his earlier works or the “Toss it all in a pot with a twist ending you don’t quite appreciate!” from a few films that some audiences didn’t “get” at all? Well, at least this upcoming film hits the right marks as far as its trailer nailing the popular sci-fi, future ruined earth and CG-packed action scenes stuff. We’ll have to see how well the father and son Smith team do here, as the trailer doesn’t make it clear whether dad is alive or dead after that horrific crash. I’m thinking that’s one twist, but as usual… we shall see…

Tomb Raider “Survivor” Trailer: Thankfully, Not A Damn Thing Like That Stupid “Reality” Show…

 

I’m glad to see it’s looking as if Crystal Dynamics has pretty much kept the game they wanted to do as intact as possible during its long development cycle. Some are griping about it not being an open world experience, but I say go play the original TR and TRII and see why and how following a solid narrative overrides a need to explore at one’s whim in a game like this. The goal in the new game is to discover and survive the limited environments you’re dropped into primarily at the pace of how well you play the game, NOT to think you’re getting Skyrim meets The Hunger Games with a side order of Hostel II or whatever. So, shut up and either wait for a demo or the actual game to drop, learn some respect for storytelling and the fact that just because you want every game to be the same damn thing doesn’t mean a developer is going to listen.  Hey, they’ve got my money on day one, that’s for sure…

The Last of Us Story Trailer: Happy Birthday To Me (And You, Hopefully)…

 

So, Naughty Dog’s upcoming survival/adventure game comes out on my birthday (May 7, 2013).  Well, well, well now. Hmmm… now I know what I want to be doing then. Finding out how the hell I’m going to make time to play it, what with all the other games I want coming out next year. Well, at least I guess I’ll have less people to worry about when I go to buy my copy of the game if all those folks who believe the world will end THIS year do themselves in for some crazy reason. Silly rabbits, I say… why kill yourself and miss out on the fun when there are too many great games to play that include survivable doomsday scenarios? What do I believe in? Well, I believe I’ll have another drink and get back to you after the world doesn’t go to hell in a handbasket. And you can’t make a bad cup of tea unless you try really hard to do so. I believe in that, too.

The 7 Wonders of Crysis 3 Teaser Makes Me Wonder If I Can Afford to Actually Play It…

Crytek’s phenomenal PC games have always demanded the ultimate in hardware, and the upcoming Crysis 3 will most certainly be no different. While specs haven’t been announced just yet, I’m betting the harder core fans of the developer’s shooters have already updated their forum signatures with their new system specs (ha ha). Anyway, when you have a film director (in this case, Albert Hughes) making a series of online videos using the game engine and they’re looking as incredible as the teaser shown above, well… it’s time to start thinking about a new PC.

Hmmm, I understand humans can function with a single kidney and I don’t really need a few other body parts… so maybe (just maybe) I can actually play the game when it’s all done and in stores. Then again, I’m not a big graphics hound, so I’ll hold out for a console version. Yeah, yeah, I know – but hey, they’re made for a few reasons, one of which is to expand a game’s user base by allowing us poor folk to play (and become fans of) some really spectacular shooters. So, there (nyah!)…

Jack the Giant Slayer Trailer: Well, It’s Got to At Least LOOK Better Than The Original…

Whee! Another repost (but with some additions) – hey, I’m busy, so if you read this on the old blog already, sorry ’bout that! To those who haven’t yet – enjoy!

Hey, I’m old enough to remember seeing the original 1962 flick on TV a few times during the late 60’s and early 70’s, but even then, I thought it was pretty cheesy when it came to the special effects. That was thanks to seeing almost all of Ray Harryhausen’s best work by that time in much better films and noting my my smart little head right away that the “special” effects in Jack weren’t up to snuff. Hell, Alexander Korda’s classic1940 film The Thief of Bag(h)dad beats the original Jack by a few miles in terms of sheer visual punch. Anyway, some who view this trailer are crying “sacrilege!” or claiming Warner Bros has RUINED their childhood memories, but I say this new coat of CG paint might at least be a better film in terms of looks. OK, and acting as well, as I never could stand Kerwin Matthews as a lead. There was something about him was so wooden that the effects in the fantasy films he was in were more compelling (well, except for the ones in the original JtGK). We’ll see about the story and all that in a bit, I suppose…

DmC Eye of Dante App: Some Are Still Kicking Capcom Around For Mere Marketing

 

Oh, the internet can be a nasty little place for trying to push a product sometimes. Case in point, poor Capcom’s otherwise interesting app promoting the upcoming DmC through a bit of gameplay and site-hopping. If you go to the YouTube page and read the comments (which isn’t advised if you like your brain not flipping around in your head), they’re pretty mean and mostly not about the actual app. Ah well – I say if Ninja Theory’s new game coming out next year is good, all this green hot bile will dissipate like dust in the wind. Of course, the anti-DLC crowd is still not to be assuaged, so there’s always that fire to deal with…

Sony’s Holiday Strategy Seems To Be Go All Nintendo On Its Fan Base…

I wasn’t going to say anything snarky initially, but I overheard a hilarious conversation yesterday that definitely kick-started this post. Basically three kids were arguing about Sony “copying” Nintendo’s hugely popular Mario Kart games with Little Big Planet Karting (above) and the Super Smash Bros. series with PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale (below). Granted, if you actually play the games you’ll see that both do certain key things differently, but on the surface, yup – shameless, aren’t they? I had to laugh because while they all were wrong in that way kids who no not a thing about how games are made are, a few nails were indeed hit on the head. Granted, Sony’s other first party stuff has been pretty solid and there’s more greatness to come in 2013. But for this brief, not so shining moment, the Nintendo fanboys and girls out there actually have a genuine gripe that can’t be easily brushed away. Well, at least the two games are good*, so that saves them from a bit of the batting about they’re getting in some corners of the internet…

*”Good” being entirely objective term, as we all know Mario Kart is the gold standard here.  LBPK is a wee bit problematic on a few fronts, but the driving and blowing stuff up works OK.

Wonderbook: Book of Spells Zaps Into Retail – Does J.K. Rowling Still Have The Magic?

Hmmmm… this will be an interesting experiment for Sony, as the company is taking a big chance with a somewhat costly game experience and an audience that may not be willing to buy into it. On the other hand, Rowling’s fan base is massive enough to support the product and keep her and SCEA happy if it does well. Personally, I don’t see this selling out all over the place because new users will need to shell out for a PS3 and Move setup BEFORE buying that Wonderbook. As for the future, I’d say Sony absolutely needs to think about some sort of book/figure combo with an action or sci-fi theme in order to make the Wonderbook tech worth the money spent on cooking it up.

Imagine an Uncharted game using the Wonderbook and some relic replicas, a Star Wars game in the vein of Skylanders or some other popular franchise (think comic books and the possibilities are pretty striking) where people will want to automatically open their wallets and jump in without hesitation? That particular future is bright indeed…. but this first entry needs to sell very well in order for that to even happen…