Carrie “Get In Your Closet” Clip: Oh, We’ve ALL Been There Before, Right?

Yeah, so… who HASN’T had to “go to the closet” at some point in their lives? Poor Carrie above only has those telekinetic powers and a nutso mommy to worry about. I know us folks in the real world need to toss ourselves in and shut the door for a while when we pull off those major boners and need a time out while the walls fall in. Say, did you know a nice clean closet with a few blankets tossed on the floor and lots of long coats and shirts and such makes a PERFECT nap spot? Bill collectors, pissed off parents and anyone else can look up and down and all around for you but that’s THE last place they’ll ever, ever look. Of course, if you have a pet at home, you’re screwed plus tax, as those cute little bums will always sniff you out. Hell, you could have the most stoned out, never ever fetched a darn thing in its life lazy ass Scooby-Don’t as a pet and as soon as you get into that closet, he’s nosing open the door to lay on top of those blankets you’re under. Bad dog! BAD!

Um, oh yeah… Carrie is in theaters October 18. I can’t see it because I have no movie theater near me now. Maybe I’ll go take a nap in the closet instead…

Oops. I Forgot Some Adventure Time 3DS Screens Last Month…

Title_ScreenOK, this is a sort of filler post, but I did forget to add these to that Adventure Time: Explore The Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW! screenshots for the Nintendo 3DS in that preview I wrote up not too long ago. I’m still flipping a coin about whether to buy a new 2DS or a bigger and more expensive 3DS XL to play this on.

On one hand, cheap is always good and that 2DS and its kid-friendly design (it’s targeted to 5 and 6 year olds!) will make me the envy of the playground parent set (er, not that I hang out at playgrounds or with parents, mind you). On the other hand, that more expensive XL is MUCH better for my eyesight thanks to the nice and big screen. Decisions, decisions… well, it’s not exactly earth-shaking in importance at all, so worry not your pretty little heads about me this time. I think I’ll work it out just fine…

Candy_Kingdom_Hub Cinnamon_Bun_and_Skeletons Lumpy_Space_Princess

Shout Factory’s The Vincent Price Collection: Timely, Indeed (Warts and All)…

The Vincent Price CollectionSomeone hipped me to this upcoming Shout Factory box set of six classic horror flicks featuring the late, great Vincent Price (who’s also Star of the Month on TCM all October) and I had to give it a thumb and a three-quarters up just for that lovely cover art alone. Oh, alright, the six sick flicks here are all top picks (and on Blu-Ray for the first time, I believe).  But I’d still have to gripe out a grape sized whine about the total lack of love for Doctor Phibes Rises Again, which SHOULD have been grafted into this sextet just because it’s the darn sequel to The Abominable Doctor Phibes and yes, I’m STILL waiting my ass off for Tim Burton to announce he’s remaking both Phibes philms at the same time like Peter Jackson did with his epic The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Granted, Phibes’ offbeat mix of camp and 70’s era gore “lite” isn’t anywhere on the same level as Tolkein’s works, folks. But hey, I grew up glued to the tube with many of Price’s films and those two hold a very special place in my still beating heart. Hey, it’s not as if I’m asking for Scream and Scream Again, right? RIGHT? If you ever see that one, you’ll understand, kids…

Anyway, if you’re too lazy to click links, that collection costs $55, features tons of special features and the six films are as follows:

THE PIT & THE PENDULUM

THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH

THE HAUNTED PALACE

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER

THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES

WITCHFINDER GENERAL (aka THE CONQUEROR WORM)

Who needs to go out on Halloween and get a tummy ache from some lousy cheap candy bought at the dollar store? Get this Blu-Ray set, pop up that dried out corn display you’ve had on the table for years and sprinkle some chili powder on it, slap a few razor blades into a pomegranate (apples are SO last century!) pull up a chair and veg out! Friends optional, but go “borrow” some (have some rope and gags handy) so you can show them a good time before you kick them out in a more bewildered but appreciative state (like Maine or maybe California, ha ha)…

GRAVITY Is Number 1, So NWA World Has Some Fun…

Of course, when you’re on top of the world (or a few hundred miles above it), your success become ripe for the picking at from a few sources. The folks at NMA World pull no punches here with their take on deleted scenes, but you may need a refresher course on current Chinese news and history in order to get everything here. I still haven’t seen Gravity yet as the movie theater near me is still closed and I’m completely clueless (well, a bit more clueless than usual) as to when it will reopen. If I don’t see any life signs there within a week, I just may need to settle for traveling a bit. I certainly WON’T go for a cheap Chinese bootleg at all (fake outtakes or not), as this is the sort of flick that needs money going where it’s supposed to when all is said and done…

Stuff You Can’t Unsee: So Much For Good Star Wars Memories…

argh wars

Eep, Opp, Ork, Ugh. To quote a certain dark Jedi, NOOOOOOOOOO!

OK, I automatically shut down the thought of even looking at any images or reading up on a lot of info when George Lucas sold off Star Wars to Disney, but this picture popped up in an email I got the other day and it made me laugh and cringe simultaneously because a few years back it would have been someone really good with Photoshop who cooked this up and not the reality it’s turned out to be…

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Holiday Gift Guide 2013: House of Horology Makes Me Want To Be a Timekeeper Once More…

HOH_Bedlam Light Green HOH_bedlam dark green

Alright, I haven’t worn a watch for a few years, but seeing House of Horology’s Bedlam Light and Bedlam Dark line at the last two Rand Luxury Review events is making my wrists kind of cranky with me. The $490 watches are pretty awesome for that price point, built like tanks and don’t look as if you’re flashing your bank account when someone asks you what time it is. Currently, eight colors each of the light and dark variants are available from the company’s HOH flagship store here in NYC.

HOH_AgentMeeting CEO Lawrence Leyderman is always a treat, as he’s one of the happiest guys at these events, always smiling when talking about his cool watches and ready with a quick joke. Given that he displays those Bedlams in a small aquarium for hours at a time (they’re water resistant to 330 feet), one of the first questions people seem to ask are either “Hey, where’s the fish?” or “How long have those watches been underwater?” I stuck with the former, as I think I was drinking like a fish at the event (it’s kind of tricky to recall everything I said after that Disaronno punch that packed quite a kick kicked in).

HOH is also working on getting Secret Labs’ Agent Smartwatch out soon and given that device’s Kickstarter raised over a million dollars and interest in smart watch technology is huge these days, it looks as if your dreams of being Dick Tracy Junior or a not-so-Secret Agent Man are coming true sooner that later. I’ll have to take a look at one of those babies once they’re ready for prime time. For now, I just need to get my wrists to stop arguing about which one will wear that Bedlam and whether I go Light or Dark should I take the plunge…

106 Newly Found Doctor Who Episodes Prove Time Travel Exists. Sort Of.

Doctor Whaaaaat“Are we going to Addis Ababa, Mr. Luthor?”

OK, this is weird, folks. Hmmm. Remember that classic Doctor Who episode where they bury a box of mysterious and seemingly random stuff in the desert in Africa in the distant past and the Doc says (with a grin, of course) “Now, this will be REALLY important one day in the future!”?

Anyone? No?

Well, that’s probably because that episode is most likely in this set of 106 formerly “lost” Who shows found by fans in Ethiopia recently. Longtime fans know a good chunk of the 1960’s shows were erased or taped over “lost” by the BBC, but according to The Daily Mirror website, 106 shows from between 1964 to 1969 ended up being sold to the Ethiopian Radio and Television Agency. Why? Ask the Doctor, I say. I’ll bet he knows. Anyway, I’m gathering BBC will no doubt be getting these cleaned up and re-aired (and sold on DVD) sooner than later, as the historical value on these is probably going to be ratings platinum for the network. I’m hoping they run them here in the US at the same time on BBC America, as it’ll be annoying hearing spoilers and such spill out from over the pond from overly giddy fans there.

Edit: Aha. the Beeb will be airing these shows starting this week. Yay and boo, as we BBC America viewers haven’t a clue as to when we’ll be seeing them. Still, I’m a happy and patient camper, so I’ll wait until these eventually make the trip over and stay away from forums discussing the new old shows.

“I wonder what they’re wearing in Addis Ababa?”

Looks like a burnous, Miss Tesmacher. Looks like a burnous.

(Hmmm, someone better tell Miss Tesmacher and Otis that not only are we NOT going to Addis Ababa, they’re completely in the wrong post…)

I, Frankenstein Trailer: Me, Annoyed To No End, Actually…

I was going to to this whole post in a sort of Solomon Grundy/Chief Wild Eagle “voice”, but that would be SO incredibly non PC that I’d have comic fans AND native American protesters lined up outside the home office. Hey, MORE traffic is good for my site, folks… but not traffic that wants to run you over for real, (ha, ha, ouch!)… ANYWAY, yuk. I do not like this upcoming “horror”/action flick one bit because it reminds me on those increasingly harder to sit through Underworld movies and other so-called horror/action blockbusters that cater to the forgiving crowd that only knows traditional monsters from more modern film efforts. Granted, I could be wrong and this one could be a big surprise. But on the other hand and foot, all those CGI monsters, fiery spiral explosions and fast cuts don’t promise much other than a film that will make your brain feel as if it’s been forcefully removed from your head by a cockeyed hunchback and placed into the body of a person who just forgot what he or she spent that ticket money on an hour and a half ago.

Oh, great… now I have Underworld fans on my ass now. But that’s OK. I’ll fight them in the pouring rain (by not showing up and sending the pack of rabid raccoons and Go Go Gophers I keep in the spare room here), which will wash their goth mascara into their eyes and make the street slippery so they’ll fall on their asses in those cheap shoes they bought from Hot Topic with the no good for rain soles. Yeah, I’m a bad man… but you asked for it.