Deus Ex: Human Revolution Director’s Cut Gameplay: Aha, FEMA Camps DO Exist!

Oh, you should have seen the face on the nosy guy in the library today as I was watching this trailer. He was behind me looking at the DVD section and I guess at some point he turned around and saw the title of this trailer and promptly lost his mind. Well, it was already gone because he says to me “Wait, is that true?” As if I knew what “true” was in his brain. Of course, I said, “Yep, it’s coming to the Wii U”, which confused him even more. Well, the next two or three minutes were spent telling him about Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Director’s Cut and how it’s a specially enhanced Wii U version of the (that’s coming to other platforms later because Square Enix probably won’t make a huge profit on the Wii U game), which flustered him even more. I think he thought he was watching a movie (and probably a documentary, at that).

He finally leans in to hiss “No, I mean the FEMA camps, man!” as if they’re real places and not some talk radio claptrap cooked up to make people like him crazier. I had to slowly tell him “This is a video game”, whisch seemed to work for a few seconds until he says … “But it’s about FEMA camps!”, which made my brain face palm itself inside my skull. He went away shaking his head (and will probably be calling whatever show he listens to on the radio tonight or tomorrow to report what he’s seen). Hoo. Boy. I hope that man has NO children at home.

So, um… yeah… good job, Square Enix and Eidos Montreal (plus whomever handled the port) – you’ve made someone more paranoid about the future who wasn’t even a gamer. Now I really have to buy this when it launches later this year.

Pompeii Teaser Trailer: SPOILER: Everybody Dies (Again, Duh!)…

OK, I’ll admit it. I sometimes get Paul W.S. Anderson, Wes Anderson and P.T. Anderson ALL kinds of mixed up (and I bet you do as well), so when I first saw the name of this film I thought it was one of the latter two director’s works that had nothing to do with the historical disaster and everything to do with well-made, quirky masterpieces worth seeing and dragging a few skeptical friends who end up charmed and convinced. But, nope – it’s just the director of those hugely popular (well, among some horror genre and video game fans) Resident Evil films (well, most of them) doing his take on a historical drama with probably a romance and action angle. Hmmm. This is a bit problematic for me, as of late I totally despise these sorts of films that take actual events and add all sorts of “What if?” or “Let’s suppose…” and have some viewers sitting there and actually BELIEVING what’s on screen is what took place.

OK, Titanic got a pass for the most part because of Cameron’s obsession to every detail (I never liked the love story part of it at all – I went to see those expensive CG effects and walked out pleased for the most part) and there were/are other dramas I’ve appreciated for certain performances or directors. But retelling Pompeii on film (AGAIN) seems like a really dead end because no one survived as far as I can recall unless they weren’t in the area or somehow managed to escape a COMPLETELY unexpected volcanic eruption (they didn’t have the Weather Channel back then, kids!). So… yeah, this is one I won’t pay to see (no matter who directs it), but I may fall down in front of the TV around December 2014 or January 2015 when this pops up as a temporary cable staple. Hey, maybe if this does well, Anderson can direct a action/romance/drama flick about the Great Chicago Fire or that absolutely hi-larious San Francisco earthquake from the last century! Yeesh.

Oh well, the Game of Thrones fans will flock in if the film is good (or if it’s not) just for Kit Harrington. Me, I separate actors I like by the parts they play, so this one’s very low on the totem pole…

Borderlands 2 Is Vita Bound. So Much For Anything Resembling Free Time in 2014…

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Buried under all that PS4 news yesterday was the really nice “surprise” that there’s a portable version of one of the best games of 2012 in development and set for a 2014 release. This is a great thing for anyone who has yet to play Borderlands 2 as well as an even better thing for those who loved (and still love) the game for all its crazy fun and loot drops galore. 2K Games has only sent out this teaser image (boo!), but we’ll definitely be keeping a collective eyeball peeled for more on this one.

Actually, it’s a good thing it’s coming out next year, as my calendar of games to play is quite full (and then some!)…

Gamescom 2013: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 Trailer: Blood, Right.

Every time I see more of this game, I have to run to the nearest closet, get a hat, put it on and tip it in the general direction of developer MercurySteam’s offices. These guys and gals are knocking it out of the park and onto another planet with this sequel to the first LoS and February 2014 can’t come soon enough. What’s all the more amazing is the game is looking so great on what’s considered “old” hardware by many, but that’s been the Spanish developers very strong point since their first game. As noted previously, this is their final chapter as far as their run on the Castlevania series goes, so anyone else taking over in the future will have a hell of an act to follow, that’s for sure. Of course, the diehard fans of the classic 2D Castlevanias who didn’t like any of the 3D games in the franchise are most likely going to miss out on this one as well, but I don’t think Konami needs their approval these days unless they have something more constructive to offer other than hating the LoS games for their success.

October’s Dark Souls II Live Beta Will Test the Best (and Kill the Rest)…

If you’re a big Dark Souls fan, you’d better pay very close attention to the game’s facebook page. Namco Bandai is going to be running an exclusive closed Beta for the PlayStation 3 version of the game over Sony’s PlayStation Network starting October 5, 2013 for players in North America and Europe. From the press release, it sure looks as if developer FromSoftware is going to be showing off an all-new area packed with death in every corner, but don’t take it from me – get a load of this snippet:

The depth of the DARK SOULS II Closed-Beta experience will truly test players’ skill, intestinal fortitude, and their sheer will to survive. The DARK SOULS II Closed-Beta will delve into one of the most treacherous areas of the DARK SOULS II world; players will not only get an opportunity to explore an entirely new area of the game, but also experience overwhelming enemy encounters, diabolical challenges, and the unrelenting difficultly that only the developers at FromSoftware can deliver.

Yeah, that sounds like a double-dog dare with a side of fries and cheese (the cheese coming from the game’s notoriously vicious and crafty enemy AI – trust me, it’s BRUTAL on the unprepared player!), so you know what to do if you accept that challenge (and you’ve survived being slapped upside the head with that metal gauntlet you just got served up fresh and hot). “Prepare to Suffer” needs to be the slogan for that Beta, I say…

Gamescom 2013: Microsoft Keeps Trying, But I’m Not Buying (Don’t Let Me Stop YOU, However)…

As I noted yesterday, Microsoft also stormed Gamescom with a bunch of new titles, but I can’t even look at anything the company is doing with its Xbox One thanks to the seriously mixed messages they’ve been sending. Sure, that new console looks pretty awesome, but between the enforced evolution thing they wanted to dump onto their user base, then the backtracking and in between, insulting anyone who didn’t have the proper connection to be always online or didn’t want to use that new Kinect or maybe wanted to sell or lend the games they owned to anyone at any time (and so forth and so on), it’s been a nightmare they need to wake up from soon.

Sure, some of you out there have VERY short attention spans and tend to forgive anyone for even the most blankety blanket of minor apologies. But there’s been a nice swell of pissed off gamers kicking Microsoft around who have little interest in the system, which seems to be forcing the company to do some insane stuff like give Europe a free (digital) copy of the FIFA game while stiffing US buyers because we’re dumb enough to pay full price for Madden every year (well, I don’t anymore).

So, the abusive relationship will continue between Microsoft and its die-hard fans with some great games on the new system, less draconian mandates (for now… but they’re coming back bit by bit, mark my words) and All sorts of exclusive content. Hopefully, that new system will be a LOT less prone to dying randomly like the Xbox 360 (I went through FIVE, dammit!) and people aren’t griping about not being able to access some stuff because they don’t want to turn on that new Kinect and it’ll be mandatory for some games or services we’re not yet informed about. I’d have to say this is the FIRST time I’m not excited for a new console cycle since I started gaming back in 1972. I’ll probably pick up an Xbox One eventually… but I certainly won’t miss it this year at all…