Star Wars: Tiny Death Star: My Brain Just Turned To An 8-Bit Alderaan


tiny DSOh, don’t get me wrong, people. This new Google Play game IS stupidly super cute and all, and yes indeed, I laughed while watching it. But yeah, the 1977 part of me rolled over and died inside seeing this trailer and realizing that pretty much everything about the original release has now been vaporized and swept under a dirty bantha hide rug. Ah well.

Granted, it was pretty obvious the Star Wars franchise was going to end up parodying and satirizing itself harder than anyone else has in the past, so expect more of the same as Disney looks to monetize every aspect of the series from now on. Business is business after all, the new fans coming in won’t care at all about the original three flicks in their unaltered versions and everyone’s happy that they’re finally seeing more films and merch roll out on a regular basis. Ah well… back to work for me and my soul needs to find that box of ethereal Kleenex so it can go cry in the corner.

Stuff You Can’t Unsee: So Much For Good Star Wars Memories…

argh wars

Eep, Opp, Ork, Ugh. To quote a certain dark Jedi, NOOOOOOOOOO!

OK, I automatically shut down the thought of even looking at any images or reading up on a lot of info when George Lucas sold off Star Wars to Disney, but this picture popped up in an email I got the other day and it made me laugh and cringe simultaneously because a few years back it would have been someone really good with Photoshop who cooked this up and not the reality it’s turned out to be…

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Disney Is Turning That Movie Night Into Madness…

Oh, hell no. Or, Come on, REALLY? Yikes. Granted, this second screen experience thing will only be at selected theaters, so there’s that. On the other hand, what the hell is Disney thinking here? This high tech mash-up of Rocky Horror Picture Show and Winky Dink is going to piss a lot of people off who go in happy and smiling with the kids thinking it’s going to be sooooo cooool. only to realize that ONE person with an iPad in a theater is a nuisance… but a few hundred with them is a whole new distracting light source and aural experience you DON’T want to sit through. That and why not just allow people who already OWN this on home video to download that app, stay at home and not have to go through hell as a lab rat for this experiment in terror. Nothing like a theater full of squealing, singing and arguing kids with their hipster doofus parental units (or anyone else with kids who buys in thinking this will be any kind of thine resembling FUN) to make your evening REALLY “special”, right? You’ve been warned… this has been a public service announcement.