Well, if the answer is “NOTHING”, well dear sir or madame… it looks as you have a hot date with a big angry radioactive lizard (like it or not and he WILL come get you). Although I hear those Thursday shows have sold out in some areas, so there’s that to consider. Of course, Friday will be a crunch of people storming the cinema, stepping on toes and sitting in your popcorn if you do show up, so there’s that to consider. I’d go myself on that day, but given that the last movie theater here is officially closed and being turned into a freakin’ T.J. Maxx or some other shop we don’t need around here (although, if it IS a Maxx, i’ll op in to look at the food section), I’d need to travel into Manhattan and go to an even MORE packed theater (yuck). Eh, we’ll see. I’ll probably go see this on a quiet mid-afternoon when the kids are at school and there are mostly old curious people in that theater because it’s hot outside and they’re getting that discount on a matinee. Hey, I’m getting up to that age anyway, so I may as well see how the other half lives, right?
Tag Archives: TV Commercials
Godzilla Poster Gallery Update: That Big New Lizard Inspires Some Mighty Fine Works Of Art
I hadn’t checked in on the Godzilla gallery over at Imp Awards in a while, but the need to dig up posters for some other films had me check to see what was new and wow, were there some nice additions. Granted, they’re not all my taste and I think a few are overdone. Nevertheless, all are striking and would make excellent additions to any movie fan’s walls and/or collection. I wish I had room here (or still collected movie posters, for that matter)…
But wait, there’s MORE! Product placement, anyone? (and VERY amusing product placement at that!):
Hmmmmm… I wonder how much FIAT had to pay to be the first commercial to REALLY show the new Godzilla off? Probably way too much to contemplate, but at least they did a spectacular job with this commercial. Um, in case you haven’t figured it out after all those posters AND the commercial, Godzilla opens here May 16, 2014.
Godzilla “You’re Hiding Something” TV Spot: Oh Yeah, Under WHAT?
You’d need quite a big raincoat or duffel bag to be smuggling a Godzilla around, I say. Oh, wait… that’s not what’s being hid? Oops. Hey, it’s my birthday today, so I can do what I want (well, within reason). I told some beat cop earlier I was going to be out stomping on buildings and roaring at passersby and he suggested it was okay as long as I wasn’t using a bullhorn (those are supposed to be illegal here in NYC), I wasn’t being disruptive (no stomping after 8PM) or wearing a mask in public (also illegal under certain circumstances). Oh, and I might require some sort of PERMIT? Damn, that was a party-crushing moment for me, as I know what it’s like to apply for a permit here in the big city (between the lines and those fees, OY!). Crap, I should have applied for that paper two months ahead of time, huh? Oh well, next year… next year…
Hmmm, How Do Those Godzilla Trailers Look In Japanese? Let’s Take A Peek!
Aha, so that’s how they’re doing things over there. Cool. I love all of these reworked trailers and the nice slice of theme music below, so good on you, Toho for fully embracing this reboot with open arms and getting Godzilla fans in the place he was born just as thrilled as folks here.
Godzilla opens in North America on May 16, 2014. When does it open in Japan? Um… it’s in one of those trailers above, right?
Godzilla “Nature Has An Order” TV Spot: Or: If It’s Bigger Than You, RUN!
Yeah, you’ve probably figured that out as well, but just in case you have yet to for some strange reason, there it is in plain English. Some of you will no doubt want to stop and take a selfie or something stupid like that before you make with the light jogging stuff, but I say go right on ahead. No one will miss you that much once you’re stomped flat other than the people who are used to you jamming a camera at them to snap away or being a photo-bombing pest they’re actually sad to see gone because they never got any work done when you were snapping away. Anyway, May 16, 2014 at a theater near you. Bring a hardhat (just in case) and maybe a first aid kit (just in case).
Godzilla “Extended Look” Trailer: Well, “Look And Run Like Hell” Is More Accurate…
Ah, the plot thickens… I’m sure some will be growling and screaming that this trailer “gives away too much”, but given that some have been SO skeptical that a western-made Godzilla would be once again, “crap on a stick” have been proven wrong, I say shut it and enjoy the longer peek at what’s going to pack them into the seats in just over a month. The big guy is back and probably louder than bombs this time out. That and hell, unless you’re reading Empire magazine or looking at comic or toy blogs, you REALLY haven’t seen all of Godzilla yet. Good going, WB and Legendary Pictures!
Godzilla “Courage” TV Spot: Well, That Depends On One Thing…
As noted above, it indeed does Depend on the person who decides to fight that big radioactive beastie and whether of not he or she’s got some adult diapers packed in that backpack when they go leaping out of a plane or other assault vehicle with intent on their faces (and the possibility of poop in their pants). Me, I’d be finding the fastest way out of town and double-timing it over some kids, puppies and grannies in the process. Hey, SOMEONE needs to write about surviving that hell and I’m not going to play the Raymond Burr part of Steve Martin from the 1956 US version of the original Gojira. When I sign off, it’ll be from the comfort of a faraway location and there won’t be any building falling on my head either. Yes, I’m basically the Dr. Zachary Smith* of bloggers, but at least I’m honest about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look up some proper hiding places that are new Godzilla proof!
*(Well, Dr. Smith after the first few episodes of Lost in Space when he transformed from an actual creepy threat into full-on comic relief mode. The man must have been hit on the head or something during a Jupiter 2 crash!)
Godzilla “Whatever It Takes” Tv Spot: Okay, Now You’re Just Showing Off…
Alright, you big radioactive lizard, that’s it. We’re ONLY at what, the THIRD new TV ad and it’s already a “nothing stops it, not even the bomb!” moment? Well, okay then. I guess that’s a good thing, right? Although I’d have personally preferred a gag clip insert of Slim Pickens riding that H-bomb down to glory from Dr. Strangelove to no effect (this time) just to get people who remember that film chuckling and those who’ve never seen it (but need to) wondering where the hell that scene came from. Yaaaa-hooooo! Anyway, Godzilla opens here in the US on May 16, 2014.
Godzilla “I Can’t Believe This Is Happening” TV Spot: Well, Start Running Anyway!
Of course, the ultimate in-joke is being IN a theater watching Godzilla when there’s a Godzilla-like event that suddenly happens outside (eek). What with all these natural and man-made disasters taking place on a seemingly regular scale, I think I may hold out on seeing this in a theater after all. I’d probably be the first one out the door to run screaming down the street into a manhole or newly opened fault line break anyway (which would make it into the inevitable Hollywood movie that pops up about whatever event takes place because SOME people never believe the news or what’s in a work of non-fiction until they see it recreated with actors they “know”. Now, hmmmm… who’s going to play me in that disaster flick? I’ll take some ideas now in case I’m not around to see the profits from the movie…
Godzilla “It Can’t Be Stopped” TV Spot: Yeah, YOU Tell Him To Stop. I Dare You…
Me, I’ll be hoofing it like hell to some high ground or way out of town while you’re down at getting stomped upon level doing semaphore with a traffic cone on each arm hoping the big guy can decipher them and not crack up before he puts a foot on your head. I bet that zombie apocalypse bag you have in the hall closet has nothing useful against Godzilla at all unless you thought of making CHOKING HAZARD T-shirts and that monster can read. Which gos back to the sense of humor thing, mind you. What DOES Godzilla find funny these days? Inquiring minds want to know!















