Tag Archives: Toho Pictures

You’ll Never Be As Loud As Godzilla, But Knock Yourself Out Anyway…

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Nope. Not gonna happen, people. You try to join this over-sized hog calling contest and all you’ll get is a very bad sore throat, trust me. Of course, you’ll want to prove me wrong, but I’ll be right and talking about you while you’ll be home with a raw throat sucking down a bottle of honey with your nice chicken soup. Yeah, one of those cute bear bottles – whatever makes you happy. Anyway, I say let the monster itself do what it does best (well ONE of the things it does best) and stay the heck out of his way:

 
There, THAT’S more like it. May 16th is stomping up soon, isn’t it? Yes it is!

Hmmm, How Do Those Godzilla Trailers Look In Japanese? Let’s Take A Peek!

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Aha, so that’s how they’re doing things over there. Cool. I love all of these reworked trailers and the nice slice of theme music below, so good on you, Toho for fully embracing this reboot with open arms and getting Godzilla fans in the place he was born just as thrilled as folks here.

Godzilla opens in North America on May 16, 2014. When does it open in Japan? Um… it’s in one of those trailers above, right?

Godzilla “Nature Has An Order” TV Spot: Or: If It’s Bigger Than You, RUN!

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Yeah, you’ve probably figured that out as well, but just in case you have yet to for some strange reason, there it is in plain English. Some of you will no doubt want to stop and take a selfie or something stupid like that before you make with the light jogging stuff, but I say go right on ahead. No one will miss you that much once you’re stomped flat other than the people who are used to you jamming a camera at them to snap away or being a photo-bombing pest they’re actually sad to see gone because they never got any work done when you were snapping away. Anyway, May 16, 2014 at a theater near you. Bring a hardhat (just in case) and maybe a first aid kit (just in case).

Godzilla “Extended Look” Trailer: Well, “Look And Run Like Hell” Is More Accurate…

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Ah, the plot thickens… I’m sure some will be growling and screaming that this trailer “gives away too much”, but given that some have been SO skeptical that a western-made Godzilla would be once again, “crap on a stick” have been proven wrong, I say shut it and enjoy the longer peek at what’s going to pack them into the seats in just over a month. The big guy is back and probably louder than bombs this time out. That and hell, unless you’re reading Empire magazine or looking at comic or toy blogs, you REALLY haven’t seen all of Godzilla yet. Good going, WB and Legendary Pictures!

Godzilla “Courage” TV Spot: Well, That Depends On One Thing…

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As noted above, it indeed does Depend on the person who decides to fight that big radioactive beastie and whether of not he or she’s got some adult diapers packed in that backpack when they go leaping out of a plane or other assault vehicle with intent on their faces (and the possibility of poop in their pants). Me, I’d be finding the fastest way out of town and double-timing it over some kids, puppies and grannies in the process. Hey, SOMEONE needs to write about surviving that hell and I’m not going to play the Raymond Burr part of Steve Martin from the 1956 US version of the original Gojira. When I sign off, it’ll be from the comfort of a faraway location and there won’t be any building falling on my head either. Yes, I’m basically the Dr. Zachary Smith* of bloggers, but at least I’m honest about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look up some proper hiding places that are new Godzilla proof!

*(Well, Dr. Smith after the first few episodes of Lost in Space when he transformed from an actual creepy threat into full-on comic relief mode. The man must have been hit on the head or something during a Jupiter 2 crash!)

Godzilla “Whatever It Takes” Tv Spot: Okay, Now You’re Just Showing Off…

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Alright, you big radioactive lizard, that’s it. We’re ONLY at what, the THIRD new TV ad and it’s already a “nothing stops it, not even the bomb!” moment? Well, okay then. I guess that’s a good thing, right? Although I’d have personally preferred a gag clip insert of Slim Pickens riding that H-bomb down to glory from Dr. Strangelove to no effect (this time) just to get people who remember that film chuckling and those who’ve never seen it (but need to) wondering where the hell that scene came from. Yaaaa-hooooo! Anyway, Godzilla opens here in the US on May 16, 2014.

Godzilla “I Can’t Believe This Is Happening” TV Spot: Well, Start Running Anyway!

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Of course, the ultimate in-joke is being IN a theater watching Godzilla when there’s a Godzilla-like event that suddenly happens outside (eek). What with all these natural and man-made disasters taking place on a seemingly regular scale, I think I may hold out on seeing this in a theater after all. I’d probably be the first one out the door to run screaming down the street into a manhole or newly opened fault line break anyway (which would make it into the inevitable Hollywood movie that pops up about whatever event takes place because SOME people never believe the news or what’s in a work of non-fiction until they see it recreated with actors they “know”. Now, hmmmm… who’s going to play me in that disaster flick? I’ll take some ideas now in case I’m not around to see the profits from the movie…

Godzilla “It Can’t Be Stopped” TV Spot: Yeah, YOU Tell Him To Stop. I Dare You…

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Me, I’ll be hoofing it like hell to some high ground or way out of town while you’re down at getting stomped upon level doing semaphore with a traffic cone on each arm hoping the big guy can decipher them and not crack up before he puts a foot on your head. I bet that zombie apocalypse bag you have in the hall closet has nothing useful against Godzilla at all unless you thought of making CHOKING HAZARD T-shirts and that monster can read. Which gos back to the sense of humor thing, mind you. What DOES Godzilla find funny these days? Inquiring minds want to know!

Godzilla International Trailer: All You Need From Me On A Tuedsay Is A Big, Mad Lizard…

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Yeah, I’m kind of taking the day off to rest because my overtaxed brain has needed it for a bit and I didn’t listen to the signals for a few weeks, so here you go. Of course, after that toy reveal yesterday, I figured we’d HAVE to see a new trailer that shows the big radioactive lug doing his stuff. Nice, huh? I’m tempted to break my travel almost 24 miles both ways boycott to check this out, but we shall see. At this point, seeing new movies when they land in theaters is low on the totem pole unless I get preview passes. I’m not at all averse to holding out for the soon to be released home video version (which as I’ve noted previously, takes less than eight months for most films these days).

Godzilla Official Trailer: Now THAT’S More Like It (Times Ten Or So)…

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BOOM. Okay, I’ll take two tickets, please. Any doubts that a decent Godzilla can be made outside of Japan get squashed here and now. Toho is probably pretty happy with the results, I’m gathering. I can’t say anything more because I despise the usual speculation and trailer trawling that goes on as soon as something like this goes up. Slowing it down to poke and peck at individual frames is meaningless because the final film will be structured differently and may not even have everything seen in the trailer. But you can’t stop people who should be happy and move onto more productive stuff from getting all over-geeky and picky and foolish with their opinions, so I won’t even try. Eh, whatever. I just file the good trailers away into my Must See mental pile while the rest go into the Catch it on Cable stack where most films end up because they’re not worth traveling money and the ticket price to pay for. Godzilla, on the other hand? He’s worth the 11-mile or so trip I now need to take since there are NO theaters near me at all these days. Bleh.