The Lady Vanishes: Miz Bacall Takes Her Final Curtain…

Posted on August 13, 2014 by geelw

A few years back, I once had to “explain” who Lauren Bacall was to a friend thanks to (of all things) a rather hilarious episode of The Sopranos where she was unceremoniously mugged by one of the main characters after an awards show:

When I said “explain” above, I didn’t do much in the way of talking at all other than to point him in the direction of Howard Hawks’ brilliant To Have and Have Not so he could see one tiny reason why she was so important. I’d say she got a lot more respect after that. And a whistle, most likely. This is turning into a kind of rotten week for falling stars, isn’t it? Still, while I’m not a believer in the afterlife, I’d bet that right about now, Bogie is sitting on a bar stool about to have a round when the doors swing open, a certain someone walks in with a cool breeze blowing behind her and without turning around, he lifts up his left hand which has two unlit cigarettes in it and says “What kept you, doll? I was getting bored here”, to which he’ll hear a smoky, purred “You were getting lonely here, you mean…”, as the lady takes both smokes and lights them then passes one back to him as he’s turning around.

They kiss (of course), THE END

Fade out. Roll credits…

Humor: Get Lost (Or, You COULD Be In New Jersey)…

Posted on November 30, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, sjmobb!)

I live in an area that’s not too hard to figure out if you live here and spend time walking around on a semi-regular basis. However, on occasions where people who drive here to visit friends or relatives, they often run into trouble with one particular spot where an oval splits into four different directions and streets that need to be followed to their destinations or else you end up driving in some rather oddball directions only to find yourself maybe back where you started or worse. This evening as I’m walking home, a car pulls up beside me and as the passenger side window rolls down, I know exactly what’s coming. Sure enough, a woman pops her head out the window and asks which way a certain street is because she and her husband had been driving around for a good fifteen minutes looking for the building.

Nice guy that I am, I point them in the correct direction and of course, the missus is all “See, I told you it was THAT way” while the hubby is getting a case of the “Yeah, yeahs”. As they both turn to thank me, the husband asks “I suppose people get lost around here a lot?”, to which I respond “Well, it’s not so bad here – you could be in the Pine Barrens”. I do believe the husband happened to get what I was referencing, because he burst out laughing so loudly that his wife jumped in her seat and did a double take before asking what the heck was so funny. As she closed the window back up (I’m assuming no one “rolls” a window up any longer) I waved goodbye, turned and left them alone and walked away with a smile knowing the mister would have to do some fast talking to stay out of the perceived doghouse he just cracked himself up into. Thankfully, that episode of The Sopranos is a pretty darn funny one and I’m glad someone actually got a joke I’d made without having to explain it. Victory!

Two For The Road: James Gandolfini and Slim Whitman…

Posted on June 20, 2013 by geelw

I actually didn’t like The Sopranos the first time I saw it (coming into the middle of an episode in the middle of a season has that effect on some people), but I wised up and stuck with it, enjoying the ride over the last four seasons or so and going back to catch most of the episodes I missed out on. For me, that final episode was quite a nice surprise but not too surprising, as it didn’t go for the expected. Of course, neither did the show on many occasions where stories were layered with hidden and not-so hidden depths mixed in with some shocking deaths just to hammer home the point that Tony’s world wasn’t a very nice place after all. I liked James Gandolfini’s work in most of the films he was in, but like many fans, he’ll always be Tony Soprano, driving down that highway through New Jersey on the way to raise some hell or suffer through some of his own creation. He’ll be missed…

As an impressionable teen, these commercials for Slim Whitman’s albums had my friends and I always laughing (and occasionally warbling awfully mangled versions of his tunes while strolling down the street), but I think they also made us appreciate other musical styles. Granted, I’m a nut with wild musical tastes (AM radio USED to play great music before it became home to the insane, incessantly annoying “opinions as facts” and “I’m famous because I have a radio show and people who believe my crazy BS!” talkers), so I think I came to see the man’s genius a bit more over time. But I do recall having the stupidest yet most amazing dream where Slim was covering The Ramones and yes, it was a spectacular a vision indeed. “I Remember Yoooooooou-ooooooooou-oooooooou!” (I still can’t listen to that song without laughing, by the way).

That and hell, Slim Whitman saved the earth, dammit. Go watch Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks! if you don’t believe me…